KNOWING ME KNOWING YOU ⇒ jegulus one shots

THERE WILL COME A SOLDIER WHO CARRIES A MIGHTY SWORD

"And then, out leapt the brave, handsome knight," James whispers. "He had glasses and a pretty good sun tan, even though he spent months travelling around in that heavy, silver armour; a red and gold crest across his heart," He grins. "He came out of nowhere! He had managed to locate the fiery dragon and face him, finally, after months of trailing all the land, searching for his one true enemy,"

"And he fought vigorously, rising his sword to fend off the giant, purple dragon with no nose!" James yelps, chuckling at his own creative choice to depict Voldemort as purple, of all things. "The dragon burned a hole in his armour, but The Handsome Knight never stopped fighting, he knew he would either win, or he would go down fighting for everything he believed in,"

"Hours passed by, the knight growing tired and hungry, his face was pink from the heat of the bright orange flames the dragon threw his way; but he dodged every time," James mimics the motion of swaying side to side, dodging imaginary flames. "The knight saw his chance, when the big dragon was wounded for a minute. But he didn't take it!"

"Why...why not, dada?"

"Well, obviously the knight can't slay the dragon when it's wounded, Elias, that wouldn't be the knight's code of honour, right, daddy?"

"Because, my little heroes," James continues. "Out from the lake nearby, swam a younger knight, one with silver armour too but a green and silver crest across his heart," James stuns the little boys. "And, well, if we already have a handsome knight, we must too have a beautiful knight,"

"Oh, and The Beautiful Knight rushed to shore, holding out a gorgeous necklace in his hands that would save them all," He pauses "And he looked to the handsome knight, and he said," James grins, preparing himself to mimic a much more poised tone. "Don't you think you might need this little old thing?" He laughs. "Oh, but that beautiful knight was cheeky, and snappy, and had a bad, bad attitude,"

"The Handsome Knight knew he had not got time on his side. He knew he should strike the dragon now, put a stop to the terror that the kingdom was facing. But The Handsome Knight recognised The Beautiful Knight, for the beautiful knight was no other than the baby brother of Sir Long Locks,"

The children gasp. "Sir Long Locks?!" The eldest shrieks. "His brother? But...but, daddy, you said that Sir Long Locks didn't like his baby brother," He pouts.

James wags his fingers. "Ah, Sir Long Locks did not like his brother, who he used to call Master Perfect, least we forget, boys," James places great emphasis on the 'P' sound. "And, as you remember, Master Perfect, later to be known as The Beautiful Knight, was friends with the no nosed dragon, a naughty fellow with desires to turn the entire kingdom to ash!"

"Then why is Master Perfect helping The Handsome Knight?"

"My darlings, we can not forget that The Beautiful Knight," James reminds. "Is very little, and that Lord and Lady Persnickety were very, very mean to Sir Long Locks and Master Perfect when they were little boys," James tells them. "However, The Beautiful Knight had swam all that way, to help, and give The Handsome Knight exactly what he needed to finally rid the kingdom of that big, ugly, purple dragon!"

"And so, the powerful necklace was found by The Beautiful Knight, who had searched far and wide for it, knowing just where to look; all the while The Handsome Knight had searched the land for the dragon," James explains. "The Beautiful Knight willed The Handsome Knight to take the necklace,"

"And did he, daddy?"

James shakes his head. "No, cherub. Instead, The Handsome Knight took The Beautiful Knight's hand instead and, together, they threw the necklace towards the wounded dragon, who immediately transformed into a tiny, tiny little pink lizard that began wriggling around at the feet of the knights," James awes.