MCYT oneshots

The explosions remind me of him -Tommy

This is set 5 years after L'manberg was blown up for the first time but Tommy is still 16 and Tubbo is 17 nearly 18.

Tommy's P.O.V

It was a day like any other, Tubbo and I were sat up in the treehouse we had built in the forest. It had been a long but productive day. We had fixed up some of the houses that had been minorly damaged in a recent storm and we fixed up some of the pathways that were becoming overgrown. I was tired and done with the day. 

5 years ago, I was living in a ravine with my two older brothers after being exiled from the nation that we ourselves had built. 

4 years ago, my brother had gone crazy and had begun to take out all of his anger on me. If something went wrong it was always 'Tommy's fault'. This was his excuse to hit me. Telling me that hopefully, the discipline would make me a better person. That if he hit me when I did things wrong then maybe I would do them right the next time. It didn't matter if changed what or how I did it, it was always the wrong way and I would always receive a beating. Soon I realised that it had nothing to do with me being good or bad it was all to do with control. Wilbur wanted to keep power over me so that I wouldn't betray. As if I would. 

3 years ago, my brother planted explosives and blew up the nation resulting in his death. After he died I fell into a deep depression. Techno left, went back to our father as he said 'there was no reason for him to stay'. That just made it worse. Later in that year, I acted out of sorts. I set someone's house on fire, which really was an accident but it only succeeded in getting me exiled by my best friend.

2 years ago was the 1st time I'd tried to take my own life. Dream abused me. Worse than Wilbur ever did. I feared the green bastard so much although I tried to stand my ground. Life was a living hell for me and I couldn't take it. I tried to kill myself 4 times that year. Each a failed attempt where Dream would either find me before and force me to stop or he'd find me after and find a way to save me. He brought me back to life just to torture me again. Some cat and mouse game.

1 year ago was the final time I had tried to kill myself. I didn't succeed clearly but something else happened. I had stood on the edge of the path by the nether portal, planning to jump into the fiery abyss below. Dream wasn't here, in fact, he was away for the day so he couldn't save me now. I shuffled a little closer to the edge. No one could save me know. No one cared enough to anyway. No one- there was a noise as someone stepped out of the portal. "Tommy?" A familiar voice said. I turned to look, only to see me best friend stood there. "Tommy what are you..." It hit him as he looked at my tear-stained face and shaking body. He knew what I planned to do, "No, step away from the edge." 

"W-why are you even here?" 

"I made a mistake." 

That night, Tubbo took back L'manberg, I still remember peoples horrified faces as we walked past them and they caught sight of the scars, the bruises, the burns and the dramatic weight loss. That night was spent crying in the white house, as I told Tubbo everything. The next day Tubbo made a public announcement that I was staying in L'manberg again. At first, they seemed confused, but when they caught sight of me sitting on the white house stairs not far away, their expressions softened and they seemed to agree. I no longer looked like Tommy, I was a shell of the boy they knew. I had been completely broken.

Then, over the past year, Wilbur was brought back to life, as the Wilbur I knew and loved. As my older brother, not my commander. I was his little brother again, not his soldier. We fought against Dream who retreated but promised that we'd see him again. Tubbo and Wilbur, a lot of others too, but mostly those two, worked on helping me back to normal. Obviously, I couldn't just be back to normal, I wouldn't ever be the same carefree boy again but they helped me to go outside more and be more comfortable with hugs and happy shouting. Angry shouting, loud noises and explosions were three things that I just couldn't get over.