Fuck everything.
Today has been complete and total shit.
So I was in math class (😑🔫) and my teacher came over and I was like "hey um could I possibly see my grade for this quarter because I'm really worried I got a B or below"
And before I could explain that I couldn't get a B or I'd be kicked out of Student Council he was just like "Well, you definitely don't have below a B" and went into this spiel about how I'm really one of the best students in the class because I'm so good at staying focused (and I'm totally not, I get distracted by erasers ffs) and I was just sitting there after he left like fighting back tears because HE DOESN'T GET THAT I'M GOING TO GET KICKED OUT OF FUCKING STUDENT COUNCIL IF I GET A B IN MATH BECAUSE THE TREASURER HAS TO MAINTAIN A B+ AVERAGE, BUT ONLY IN MATH
ALGEBRA IS FUCKING HARD MAN
So then I came to play practice at like four and this guy from my class came up to me and was like "did you go for pizza?" And I was just like "what" and he told me that some other girls had gone to get pizza after school and I'm pretty sure I'm friends with all of these girls so I was kind of pissed.
And I think I'm slowly sinking back into that whole "no one gives a shit about my existence" thing.
Like, you couldn't have invited me? I'm a main character, as were most of these girls, yet I don't hang out with them nearly as much as I feel like I should. I feel like I could have at least been offered to go with them, but no, because they have to stick to their own little friendship circle and seem nice af on the outside and really be complete bitches on the inside and leave everyone who they aren't incredibly good friends with in the dust.
It's like I'm the side chick of friendship ffs.
Every time someone has a problem or doesn't have any other good friends immediately with them, they come to me because I'm that weird person who's weirdly over emotional and occasionally funny when I talk.
I keep coming home feeling all sad and shit and when I'm really quiet my mom is like "hey are you okay?" and I just say I'm fine and that's that.
It's like fucking Amnesia.
(I'm really not fine at all)
She doesn't realize that I feel like sobbing every three minutes. Everyone thinks I'm just carefree, silly little Catherine.
But I feel so empty on the inside.
My director for the play has been asked twice when we're staging the bows, and she still hasn't done it. She thinks it'll be really easy to stage, but it's so obvious that it won't be. This group of kids in the play are all obnoxious as fuck and they never stop talking no matter how much they're yelled at. Staging bows is going to take at least a half an hour. Not to mention the next rehearsal we have is our first dress rehearsal.
Also, my teacher is saying our research paper is going to be due in like two weeks, and I'm nowhere near prepared. This kid in my class who's topic isn't even mainly the Hitler Youth has the school library's only other book on it (I have the first one) and he just renewed it today.
I NEED THAT SHIT
*sighs* I feel so frustrated with so much right now. This was probably long as fuck, but I don't know what to do. Everything is getting to be too much, and I don't fucking know where to turn to.
Riley, I need another hug.
-Cat
