My mother is absolutely impossible to talk to.
So there I am at dinner, and she asks me about my day.
Me: *really quietly* fine
Mom: what?
Me: *still really quietly* fine
Mom: huh?
Me: I SAID IT WAS FINE
Mom: damn calm down
Like hello you aren't one of my friends, I was obviously exhausted and I didn't feel like talking about it but then my dad ended up pulling me in by saying:
Did anything happen today?
And of course Mrs. Douchette went on another rave about how ignorant our class is and how we'll never make it in high school so I told them this.
And then my mom goes into a ten minute rant about how I'm obviously not thinking like other students and how other students probably need this repeated over and over and over again.
Um, no.
I've literally talked to pretty much every kid in my class and we all agree that everything she says about high school is pointless and irrelevant and untrue because SHE'S LIKE 67 I MEAN COME ON STOP THINKING THAT ALL OF US ARE GOING TO GO TO SUMMER SCHOOL BECAUSE WE CAN'T WRITE A MOTHERFUCKING RESEARCH PAPER OKAY
*growls like a dog*
But of course my mom, being a teacher herself and believing that she is filled with wisdom from teaching college students (NOT middle school) for a living, has to take this bitch's side no matter what.
Not to mention yesterday I asked my parents if I could buy some band merch with my own money (because I have like $650 in my own bank account) and she was just like "we'll check it out after dinner" and I showed her the stuff I wanted and I saw the Somewhere New EP is available on Amazon along with both Don't Stop EP's but she was just like "at this rate, I won't have anything to buy you for your birthday! And you already have a 5sos shirt, what more could you want? Besides, you're going to see them in September, anyway, you'll end up getting another shirt there! I'll think about it."
I'm sorry, is it illegal to want more than one 5sos shirt and a beanie?
And as for the birthday thing, my birthday is the last day of July for fuck's sake! I'll have plenty more on my wish list by then!
AND WHY THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT, IT'S MY MONEY, IT ISN'T LIKE I'M MAKING YOU PAY FOR IT
I just don't know what to do. My mom is absolutely impossible to talk to about anything. I can't talk to her about bands, seeing how she feels like it's a chore to have to take me to my concert in September and she's jealous of my dad for taking me to the PTX concert. I can't talk to her about teachers because she'll always take their side. I can't talk to her about any of my problems or social media because she doesn't even know that I have them, nor does she know the fact that I have over 7,000 reads on two of my own books.
I just want to have a mother who accepts me for who I am and doesn't mind me blasting whatever I want from my room all the time. I want a mom who's understanding and will listen to my problems and give me unbiased advice.
She doesn't want me to be famous someday. She wants me to pursue my dreams, but not put myself out there in front of the world. She wants me to go to college and get a degree and settle down and get a normal job, something I can't even imagine for myself at this point.
I've literally started crying while writing this rant, honestly. I just don't know what to do.
I just feel like I'm not loved by her.
-Cat
