So this is a weird subject change from my last post (Michael's bday), but it happened at school today so I decided to share it with you all.
So in my Literature class we read A Tell Tale Heart by Edgar Allen Poe. My teacher is obsessed with Poe, so she decide that we were going to do a trial of the murderer based on the book. (if you haven't read the stories there are a couple spoilers whoops sorry) So this trial was going to be on whether the murderer was sane when he killed this old man dude. He confessed to the murder, so it wasn't really a murder case. If the murderer was sane when killing the man, then he would be sent to jail for life or given the death penalty. If the man was insane, he would be sent to a mental institution. Of course, we weren't really going to do this to one of my classmates, but that's the basic jist of the trial.
So there were a few different roles: the defendant (the murderer), the judge, the bailiff, the prosecuting state attorneys (2), the defense attorneys (2), two psychiatrists, three detectives, two neighbors, and the jury. There were also two surprise witnesses, but they came in later.
So I wanted to be the crazy person (because I'd be perfect for it) but my teacher literally had someone write down a number and the first person to guess it would be the murderer.
My friend guessed the number on the first try.
Ugh.
Anyways, I ended up becoming the defense psychiatrist, which I was pretty happy about. It basically meant that I had to prove that my friend, Hannah, was crazy.
I was kind of excited about this lol
So I interviewed her and she told me (this is all fake remember) that she had been hearing voices since she was kitts and that one told her to kill the old man and stuff and I diagnosed her to be schizophrenic. WHOOP
So today I finally got called up to the stand and I was freaking out because the defense attorneys were unintentionally pushing our side of the case into a deep dark pit from which there was no return.
Then I came up.
They asked me questions that I told them to ask me, and I shared the fact that Hannah had been hearing voices and that I diagnosed her schizophrenic, then my friend Gaby, one of the prosecutors, stood to ask me questions.
First off, I just want to say that Gaby wants to be a lawyer when she's older, she's part of my school's Mock Trial team, and she is really fucking smart.
So she looked at me with this almost evilly excited look in her eye and started firing questions at me.
(G for Gaby, C for me)
G: Did you play any sort of games with the defendant to confirm your diagnosis, or did you just take her word that she had been hearing voices?
C: Um....I played a couple games with her...
G: A couple...so, two?
C: Uh, yeah, two.
G: Mhm...and what sort of games were these?
At this point I just looked at my teacher from across the room with a WTF look on my face.
Luckily, Gaby didn't press this question.
G: How did you know that you could believe what this patient was saying, other than the games?
C: I've been a psychiatrist for quite a while, and I know when a person is lying or not.
She asked a few more questions that aren't really relevant to this story, and I was let down.
Then I was called back up.
My immediate though was "Fuck."
A couple more people had been called up after me, accidentally twisting around the story I'd created, so I was also kind of relieved.
So I went back to the chair that was the stand and sat down.
Gaby looked at me, then asked me another question, something that was confirming that I had only played two games with Hannah or something (I didn't actually do this of course, I had to make up a story on the spot).
Then the other prosecutor, my friend Katie, stood up.
K: I noticed that while you were talking last time you were called up to the stand that you were looking at the left a lot and-
At this point I interrupted her, looking over at my teacher.
C: Can I say something outside of the trial for a second?
My teacher nodded.
I turned back to Katie and Gaby.
C: You realize I'm making all this stuff up on the spot, right? I haven't had a huge amount of time to prepare and stuff.
They said something else that I can't remember, then Gaby asked me something about the games I played with Hannah again, and I replied:
C: You realize I'm not actually a psychiatrist, right?
Then everyone freaked out.
I started correcting myself loudly.
C: I MEANT OUTSIDE THE TRIAL! I DONT KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN IM NOT A PSYCHIATRIST IN REAL LIFE
And that's where we left off today.
The jury is making their verdict on whether or not Hannah is crazy tomorrow and I'm really hoping that I managed to prove that she is, because a mental institution is better than life in prison.
So yeah. This was kind of long and you guys probably don't care but I feel bad because no ones ranted in a couple days so hi
-Catherine
