I just realized how alone I am.
I mean, I'm still awake at 12:30 in the morning on the day after Christmas watching Pitch Perfect because I don't feel like sleeping.
I haven't heard from one of my bestest internet friends in days, and when I tried to kik her (kik me: cocolover8) earlier to wish her a merry Christmas, I got that stupid notification that her phone's been turned off for a while or some shit.
I hate everyone I know in real life and it really kind of hit me how fucking alone I am earlier today when I was sitting upstairs away from everyone in my family on Christmas and I wasn't texting anyone or writing or anything. I was just reading the 5sos book (which I literally finished in a time frame of like 3 hours). I never talk to anyone anymore unless I'm replying to a comment on here or something. None of my followers on anything talk to me or comment on my books or anything so I'm just stuck in my little bubble that it seems like no one is able to pop.
And the worst part of everything is the fact that I pretty much keep my entire life secret from my family. They don't understand fully what Wattpad is, they don't know it's kind of a social media, they just know that I write fan fictions in it and they think I'm weird for that. They don't know I have Internet friends so when I text and kik and occasionally FaceTime people, I have to shut it off the second I hear someone coming. I don't talk to anyone anymore. All I do is dream about things that are never going to happen.
I just want someone to talk to. Like, share legitimate conversations with over kik or something. I want to be able to FaceTime someone when my family isn't around so I don't have to be worried about anyone catching me.
People are starting to talk about romance in here again, and I'm just sitting in a room on a bed with an iPod that's constantly plugged into its charger because I use it so much. I just want a friend. And as stupid as it sounds, I want to be able to hug someone other than my stuffed animals and my mom.
My life fucking sucks.
-Cat
