Paste Makes Waste

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(Opening shot: the city skyline, seen from a distance.)

Narrator: The city of Townsville!

(Pull back to bring the subdivision into view.)

Narrator: Pokey Oaks County! A sleepy suburb of the city of Townsville.

(Pull back again to bring Pokey Oaks Kindergarten into view.)

Narrator: Pokey Oaks Kindergarten! A school in Pokey Oaks County, a sleepy suburb of the city of Townsville.

(Zoom in and dissolve quickly to Ms. Keane in the classroom.)

Narrator: Ms. Keane! The teacher of Pokey Oaks Kindergarten, a school in the sleepy suburbs of— (She glares at the camera as if to tell the narrator "Enough already".) I'm—oh, I'm sorry.

Ms. Keane: (turning attention back to the class) Okay, kids. Now continue working on your projects, and I will take roll call.

(On the end of this, we hear the sound of paint or glue being applied liberally. Cut to the head of a long table; the kids are working with Popsicle sticks and paste. Ms. Keane is seen from the shoulders down.)

Ms. Keane: Julie? Julie Bean?

Orange-haired girl (Julie): Here.

Ms. Keane: Harry? Harry Pitt?

Dirty, homely boy (Harry): Here. (Pan slowly along the table.)

Ms. Keane: Wes? Wes Goingon?

Blond boy (Wes): Yeah?

Ms. Keane: (Y/N)? (Y/N) (L/N)?

(Y/N): Hey.

Ms. Keane: (now o.c.) Bubbles?

Bubbles: Here.

Ms. Keane: (from o.c.) Blossom?

Blossom: Present.

Ms. Keane: (from o.c.) Buttercup?

Buttercup: Yep. (Camera stops; the other end of the table is just out of view. Two of the boys are identical twins.)

Ms. Keane: (from o.c.) Lloyd Floyjoydson?

Twin 1 (Lloyd): Huh?

Ms. Keane: (from o.c.) Floyd Floyjoydson?

Twin 2 (Floyd): What?

Ms. Keane: (from o.c.) Mitchell?...Mitchell Mitchellson?

Brown-haired boy (Mitchell): It's Mitch! And yeah, I'm here, okay?

(Mitchell, or Mitch, sounds very much like a troublemaker. Buttercup smiles and giggles at his outburst.)

Ms. Keane: (from o.c.) Elmer? Elmer Sglue?

(A squishing sound causes all the kids' eyes to pop open. The camera pans quickly to the end of the table and zooms in on a jar of paste in the hands of the kid sitting there. Pull back slightly; he digs out a handful and packs it into his mouth. He wears thick glasses and a smear of paste around his lips. When he speaks, his voice is very timid.)

Paste-eating kid (Elmer): Here.

(His response is accompanied by a burp and spray of mixed paste and spit.)

Mitch: (disgustedly) Ohhhh! (pushing Elmer to the floor) Paste eater!

(Most of the class laughs at this. In a head-on view from Elmer's end of the table, we now see that Mitch wears a black T-shirt with the words "MITCH ROCKS" on the front. He also sounds quite a bit like Popeye when he laughs. Blossom and Bubbles are stunned into silence, but Buttercup is enjoying the moment. Ms. Keane, meanwhile, is shocked at this behavior.)

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