Powerpuff girls (male reader insert)

Girls Gone Mild

(Opening shot: the city skyline during the day. A hard-edged female voice speaks up.)

Voice: The city of Townsville is very concerned about the Powerpuff Girls' influence on their children.

(Dissolve to the exterior of their house on the end of this line. Next, dissolve to the living room. The owner of said voice - blond, showing the sort of face suggested by her tone - sits facing him on the couch, with a briefcase in her lap. Next to her sits an equally disapproving man, with thick glasses and thinning hair.)

Woman: So Stanley and I are here to discuss the situation with you.

(Silence, during which she gives her companion the old hairy eyeball. He does not notice, however, and directs his gaze to various parts of the room before she speaks again.)

Woman: Stanley?

Stanley: (stammering a bit) Yes, right. (He clears his throat.) Mr. Utonium, in case you haven't been watching the news lately, there seems to be an awful lot of Townsville kids pretending to be superheroes.

(He flaps his hands in the air and takes a very sarcastic tone on the last four words.)

Professor: (smiling) Oh, yes, I watch the news. Got cable...I mean, satellite. Four hundred channels! (Cut to the two visitors; he continues o.c.) A-And all that.

Stanley: (dryly) That's nice. (Clears throat.) Well, the reason these kids are pretending to be superheroes is that they're trying to be like your, uh, Powderpuff Girls. (Back to the Professor.)

Professor: Well, that makes perfect sense, since my girls are superheroes.

Stanley: I'm sorry?

Woman: (waving Stanley off; he recoils) Mr. Utonium! We understand perfectly well that the business of punching, kicking, is all part of... (clearing throat, making quotation marks with fingers) ...saving the day. But it's imitatable behavior!

Stanley: That means able to be imitated!

Woman: Behavior that is inappropriate for normal children!

(Several seconds pass in silence; the Professor looks nervously from side to side, then shrugs and stitches a big grin across his face, unsure of how to respond to what he was just told.)

Woman: Mr. Utonium! We insist that you speak to your daughters and have them cease this destructive behavior at once!

Professor: (placatingly, holding hands out) Mr. and Mrs. Practice. Certainly you can't be serious. I mean, that's like telling a bird not to fly, or like telling a fish not to swim, or like...

(Pull back to frame all three. Stanley holds out a thick sheaf of papers.)

Stanley: We have a petition here, signed by all the parents of Townsville, who have joined together to form...

(During this line, cut to the Professor as the document is placed into his hand; close-up of its heading: "Petition Submitted by the Parents of Townsville." Turn down to show a long list of signatures below this; he flips ahead and finds more of the same. Back to Stanley, now holding up a sticker with the acronym "P.A.P.P." on it in big red letters.)

Stanley: ...P.A.P.P.

(Close-up of the sticker; now the following four words are visible in small print beneath the letters, and they are pointed out in time.)

Stanley: (from o.c.) Parents Against Power Puff. (Back to the Professor, still flipping pages.)

Woman (Mrs. Practice): (from o.c.) We are demanding that your girls immediately discontinue their overly bold super-heroics... (Pull back to frame all three.) ...or you'll be sued.