Powerpuff girls (male reader insert)

Collect Her

(Opening shot: the city skyline in the afternoon. Car horns blare softly in the background.)

Narrator: The city of Townsville!

(Turn down to street level and follow a truck labeled "TOYS" as it rolls down the block. Pan quickly to a store with this same name on the corner; the truck backs up, and a crate slides out the rear end of the trailer. Around it, the scene dissolves to the store interior. It floats peacefully down the length of one aisle, the camera following. Cut to an extreme close-up of the front wheel of a motorized scooter tooling along the sidewalk, then to one of a utility knife in the store as its blade is extended. The knife descends; next we see a close-up of a long brown ponytail on the back of a mostly bald head, the scenery scrolling behind it as it waves in the wind.)

(Back to the scooter, which stops in front of the toy store. Inside, the knife cuts into the tape securing the crate; outside, a pair of fat, hairy legs clad in red shorts and striped tube socks steps in front of the door. One sock has slid down around its ankle, and the owner of said footwear bends over to pull it up. Camera turns up slightly to show a green belt buckled at the back encircling his waist, and the elastic band of his underwear. This bears the name "Lenny" in black letters; zoom in on it as he brushes himself down.)

(Inside, the crate is being cut open. The door opens, the bell above it jingling, and a broad shadow advances into the store and falls across the tiles. Turn up from the floor to point straight down the aisle ahead of it, then cut to a side view of Lenny's legs as he walks along. We now see that the green belt belongs to a fanny pack. Just as he reaches the crate, turn up quickly to the face of the stockboy opening it. He looks up from his work, then backs up with a scared look and a nervous smile as if to say, "Help yourself, just don't hurt me.")

(The crate is yanked open, and an item inside is lifted up to Lenny's nose in a close-up side view. Now we see that he has beady eyes, glasses, and a scraggly beard and mustache. He sniffs the package and holds it over his head in triumph. Close-up of a cash register readout, panning slowly across it as a purchase is rung up, then of the scooter's wheels as the engine is started up. The craft putters and carries Lenny out of view; camera turns quickly to show it rolling down the street and over the horizon. His ponytail flutters in the wind.)

(Dissolve to shelf upon shelf filled with items of Powerpuff Girls merchandise and rotate slowly to show the entire room. Dolls, lunchboxes, carpeting, lamps, posters, bedspreads, mobiles, bobbing heads—the place almost looks like a warehouse for collectibles based on Townsville's protective triumvirate. Stop on the face of Lenny—with the aforementioned bald pate, ponytail, glasses, and thin facial hair, in addition to a very bad complexion. He wears a satisfied, buck-toothed smile, and he holds up the item he has just purchased for a closer look. When he speaks, it is with a serious lisp and the gravelly tone of a man close to middle age.)

Lenny: And for today's purchase, the poseable Blossom doll with laser light eyes and realistic hair. (Places the doll on the empty spot on the shelf beside the other two.)

(He reaches into view and sets the package on the shelf; it is a doll in Blossom's image. Cut to an overhead view of him in the center of the room, panning slowly across.)

Narrator: Holy hoarders! This has got to be the most complete collection of Powerpuff paraphernalia on the planet! (Side view of Lenny, cackling.)

Lenny: Powerpuffs to the rescue!

(He makes whooshing noises and runs back and forth as if flying. After a couple of passes, the camera follows him to his computer. He hums—very badly out of tune—and regards it for a moment. Cut to his perspective of the keyboard, with candy wrappers and a soda cup scattered on top of it; he reaches into view and sweeps the clutter aside so he can use it to type in his latest info.)