The Interview

Chapter 77

(Wow i have been so scared to post this. I've just been dealing with a lot of self doubt about my writing i even thought of stopping but its the only thing that's truly mine I know i don't now all the ins and outs of medical jargon or police procedure but i try. Plus the writer block is horrible but i struggled to get this out. and trust me i know it's not good.) Oh there is some phone sex.)

The next morning I woke up feeling a little tired but I guess that's what happens when you wake up every hour on the hour.

I could hear everything, every sound, the house creaking, dodger moving in his dog bed, no matter what i did i couldn't get my mind to shut off.

I looked at the clock and saw it was 6am.

"Ugh this is ridiculous, i just wanna sleep but i can't. Guess I'll get up."

I grabbed my robe and headed downstairs and made some coffee. I sat at the kitchen counter and checked my phone waiting for the coffee to finish. I had some emails, a text from Linda telling me she is sending out my package and a text from Chris that made me smile.

Good morning my love. I hope you have a great day. I love you and I'll talk to you later. Xoxo <3

I smiled and felt my heart flutter. He always knew what to say to make me smile and just be so in love with him.

I was sitting in the living room drawing when the doorbell rang. When I answered it, it was Megan.

"Hi Sweetie."

"Hey Megan, come on in. You want something to drink, coffee, tea, water, beer, wine."

"Meh it's 5 o'clock somewhere wine please." Megan said

I grabbed a bottle and two glasses.

"It's nice out how about we sit outside."

Megan nodded and we headed outside. I pour her a glass and me one as well.

"Ok so tell me how did you sleep." Megan asked.

"I really didn't, and I thought I would but I don't know why I couldn't sleep."

"Well you have gone through a lot and your body just needs time to catch up. Now the phone call did you make it." Megan asked.

"Yes I did. I called Maci's mom and we talked and she said she doesn't blame me for what happened."

"And how did you feel after she said it?" she said

"I felt like I had a weight lifted off me. I felt like I could breathe a sigh of relief for the first time in so long."

"I hear a but." she said

"But even though Linda said she doesn't blame me, a part of me still blames myself. And I don't know if I'll ever forgive myself for that or for anything else I've done."

A few hours later Megan headed back to her place and once again I was alone with my thoughts and that wasn't good.

I sat and thought about everything I said to the family, how i should have been happy for Carly but deep down i was screaming, i want what Carly has i want to give that to Chris.

It was finally the end of week 1 and I was feeling a little better but I was still stressed. I think I have read every book I own, I've watched pretty much everything I could think of.

But the bright side of this was I got to talk to Chris every day and night. I really missed him.

I would spend the day drawing in my sketchbook just some doodles here and there. I had my sessions with Megan, talking about what i went through or how i was sleeping which wasn't much.