words from a broken soul

"TW" Alcohol and drugs "TW"

I've only drank and even then it was social
Drugs I've avoided if they're not prescribed
To me I'm not touching them but I've seen
What both can do to somebody I rather not
Risk anything came from a line of alcoholic
Family members you grow wary of booze
Sure I've been drunk but I'd rather be the
One friend who's a stick in the mud just
Don't want to risk being an angry drunk
I've only drank and even then it was social

Drugs those are something I've seen what
They can do to people the funny thing is
People say that weed is the gateway drug
The truth is much harsher than they will
Admit trauma is the gateway drugs the escape
Yet no one will admit because that means
Taking of the rose tinted goggles see the
Harsh reality of the cruel nightmares people
Can become behind closed doors when the
Mask is free to fall from their face pain
Pain and misery leads to finding an escape
The escape will lead to addiction eventually
But anything to forget the memories of
Being misery's misfit stuck fighting a battle
That no one but you know unable to talk
About it with others in fear of being ridiculed
I've only drank and even then it was social

So much pain stuffed deep in this soul of
Ash can't forget it's burned into my mind
Branded on my soul the cliff I stand on will
The void pull me off force me to down in
The rain and violent sea of thoughts that
Were drilled into me from my youth yet I
Know Drugs and alcohol won't fix anything
So I just push on fight the silent battle walk
This thin little line of sanity and insanity its
Normal the mask of formality hide crass nature
To cope with the hell I lived through funny
When your lamb being led to the slaughter
Yet escape what do you do with all the scars
I buried mine as deep as possible but I'm
Still a copy an imitation of the lad he'd
Probably drink himself to an early grave
Emotions well up I kill cut them out for
They were taught to me as a weakness
I've survived hell by being numb and small
So small amounts a joy grew up depressed
Yet unknown of how to explain the sorrow
I've only drank and even then it was social

A lot of people use drugs or alcohol to be
Free from the grip of misery but you'll build
A tolerance no matter what four shots of whiskey
Will eventually turn into the whole bottle
Same goes for drugs and no weed won't
Be one you can be immune to building a
Tolerance to so many things are drugs just
Some like tobacco and caffeine are socially
Accepted because their not that harmful
Or do to how easy access they are I'm not
Sure which it is but still they're accepted
By others because those are normal yet
Even those I avoided to health in school
Very seriously don't want to die young
Got too spite some people before I'll die
So yeah I'll avoid drugs and alcohol just
Because I'm a petty person who'll die
Happy when I'm dancing on the graves
Of those who made me see half my blood
To be nothing but a curse and half dead
I've only drank and even then it was social