(Shattered...) Dreams Fulfilled

Rejection Part 4

Meredith headed towards the residents' lounge without revealing any signs that she was falling apart, but the second she knew she was out of sight, and could not be seen from his office, her steps quickened as she struggled to breathe.

Her heart was pounding as dizziness and faintness were threatening her ability to make it to her destination, when thankfully, she ran into someone that realized something was terribly wrong.

"Meredith, are you ok? You're as white as a sheet, what happened, what can I do?"

She had almost reached the door as she began to feel faint and reached to hold on to the railing running along the wall. She heard Lexie's voice moments before her sister was by her side, holding her and helping her walk into the lounge.

"Meredith, what's wrong," she asked afraid to overstep the delicate balance they had reached in their relationship, but afraid that something was terribly wrong, "what can I get you, what do you need?"

Lexie led Meredith to a loveseat, and sat next to her, watching as her sister struggled to breath, eyes brimming with tears and a distant and sorrowful expression.

"Meredith, do you want me to page Derek, do you need for him to be here?"

Lexie saw Meredith flinch and turn pale, looking as though she was about to faint, and quickly lowered her head between her knees. She didn't know how to react, what do to for her, and when several minutes passed and she regained some of her color, slowly helped raise her back to a sitting position.

"Can you tell me what's wrong? Do you feel sick?"

Meredith was scared. She didn't know what was happening to her, she felt as though she was loosing control and things were going on around her without being capable of stopping them, and sitting next to her was the last person she would have ever expected to be there as she began to feel herself slowly unravel.

"I...I ... can..." she murmured, struggling to catch her breath, "I can't....can't breathe... I can't...can't do this again," she said, tears rolling down her face, "I trusted him... I trusted him... and...he..." she sobbed, "...he...she... dinner...he...left...he...left me."

Lexie placed her hand on her back and attempted to soothe her, baffled at what she had said. "Don't talk....don't talk now, just try to breathe...slowly... you need to breathe,
c'mon Meredith...breathe...or you're going to hyperventilate...slowly...just breath."

When she calmed down a bit, and was no longer sobbing, Lexie brought her a glass of water, and waited until she drank it, giving her some time to compose herself. Fortunately, the lounge was quiet, and there had been no witnesses to her panic attack.

"Meredith, I don't know what's wrong... but you're not ok... you've...you've just had a severe panic attack, and obviously this has something to do with Derek," she waited for her reaction to his name, as something had trigged this, and it had to do with him, but she didn't understand what could have gone wrong since they had been together that morning.

"I'm sorry...I didn't... I didn't mean to ...I...just... don't, I didn't mean to impose," she said as she was becoming agitated again.

"You're not imposing...I'm glad... Meredith...I'm glad I was here... but, I know ... we...we're not that close...we've been getting closer... but this.. this seems big...and right now, maybe you need someone else... maybe Cristina...I know they were going to Joe's and she's your person...or maybe you want to go there...I can go with you...if you want...but you need someone...right now you need someone."

Meredith didn't understand where the words came from, but she suddenly found herself looking at her sister and with tears in her eyes, telling her, "Lexie...I ... right... right now... I could... I could...need...need my...si...half ...I do...I do need someone ...someone...that cares..." and stopped herself as her voice cracked completely.

"Oh... oh..." she said as her voice caught with emotion, "Mer...I want..." she rambled just as Meredith did, and also had tears in her eyes, as she continued, "I want to be there for you... I'm glad I was here...I wan't...I want... to help...and...I do care...you're my sister...and I know... I know we've just met... but I do care," and both, simultaneously reached for the other's hand; one offering support and comfort, the other accepting and trusting feelings she did not know existed, that perhaps, this moment was about two sisters, no longer strangers, finding each other.

Minutes passed in silence until Lexie spoke, "do you want to talk about it?"

"Not yet."

"Are you ok?"

Meredith took a deep breath before answering, her voice soft and quiet, "no...no... Lexie, I'm not...I'm so far away from ok..."

"Is your shift over?"

"It was over an hour ago," she paused, "and yours?"

"I just got off, when I saw you...on your way here."

"Meredith, will you let me drive you home? I ...don't.... I don't think....you should drive...after what happened...just now...that panic attack, I don't think you should drive home...I don't think you should be alone tonight."

Meredith was silent, deep in thought and experiencing a myriad of conflicting emotions, before she said, "yes, you can drive me home...because... tonight....tonight Lexie....I don't think I can bear to know I'm all alone...to know that everyone I've loved is now gone from my life."

"I'm sorry...Meredith... so sorry this is happening."

"Yeah... so am I... Let's go, I need to go home...and Lexie...thank you...for being here."

"I'm glad...I'm really glad I can be... thank you for letting me be here for you."

During the time Lexie spent ensuring Meredith was fine, another scene had unfolded.

The two sisters walked out of the lounge making their way to the parking lot, both lost in thought and unaware that the Seattle Grace rumor mill was already in full force, as many had witnessed Dr. Shepherd and the circulating scrub nurse walk out of the hospital, together, and headed towards his car.

It was unimaginable, and none of the individuals involved would have guessed, that by dawn, when the next shift began, sides would be clearly drawn and bets would be taken in regard to the outcome of the seemingly emerging triangle.

Meredith Grey and Derek Shepherd were about to become the center of hospital gossip once again.

She would be amazed to learn she had far more supporters that the last time around.

He would be shocked to learn that Dr. "McDreamy" now had feet of clay.

Fate...if it could...would have laughed at those bets...because, the outcome was already etched deeply in the heart and soul of two lovers destined to share a lifetime together and beyond...soul mates whose broken hearts tonight would heal, and ultimately find their way back to each other, once and for all...forever.