(Shattered...) Dreams Fulfilled

Bittersweet Homecoming

The morning hours went by quickly and they enjoyed their joint massage by the fireplace, regretting their time away had come to an end as they gathered their belongings and were about to leave the room.

"Meredith, don't forget this," he gave her the bag they'd dropped off in their room, "but take these out, you're in charge of them now."

She looked at the three envelopes and told him, "they made a mistake, it was only two gift certificates, we need to them take the other one back, and this one says two nights."

"No mistake...two nights for Kathleen, a suite in fact, and the other two, one's for Mom the adjoining room ...he smiled, stopping in front of her and caressing her face, "and the other one is for you."

"What are you talking about?"

"Well...while I'm off in the wilderness...I thought you and Mom & Kathleen could spend a day...night here at the spa...bonding time..."

"Derek...this was for your Mom...to enjoy, not to force my company on her..."

"Meredith, you are going to be her daughter in law...believe me...she wants to spend time with you..."

"Derek...I'm not sure...I mean, I want to get to know her, but what if when she gets here and doesn't like me, and Nancy gets to her, and well, she thinks I'm the slutty lusty intern...Derek, that won't work..."

He silenced her with a kiss..."then you can have separate rooms."

"Derek..."

"Meredith, stop fretting... she already likes you, and Kathleen is totally biased, in your favor."

"She is not..." she smiled.

"Yes, she is...so, I want to do this, the guys will go off for a couple of days, and the three of you can come up here for a day, and then you and Mom can go back and Kathleen can spend a romantic sexless weekend with her husband."

"Sexless..." she almost choked.

"Just wanted to know if you were paying attention."

"I don't...don't have to send it right away...I mean...I can wait...till your Mom and I, we communicate a little more..."

"You think," she laughed, "you're going to bet Mark go fishing?"

"Of course he is... and you can do whatever you want with these...and if you decide you don't want to do this...you and I can use them, ok?"

"Ok..." she smiled, and hugged him, "thank you, again for this time away."

"We'll be back..."

"I hope so," she said and kissed him softly at first, and he deepened their kiss, and each caress, each stroke of their tongues made promises for tomorrow's dreams.

They drove up to her house, and both sat quietly for a few minutes. "It feels like I've been gone forever," she said, and he reached for her hand, "but, it's only been five nights..."

"Are you ok?"

"Yes...I will be..." she said and leaned over to kiss him, "bring your bags in, I'll do our laundry, and I'll fix some sandwiches for lunch."

"Very domesticated," he teased.

"Don't be an ass, I'm being practical."

"My lovely bossy ..."

"Derek..."

"Uh huh..."

"Don't push it," she smiled, and let him walk around and open the door for her.

He left the bags by the stairs and they walked to the kitchen, and right away she noticed the daisies on the kitchen table with a note by it, the outside of the envelope simply said 'Meredith', and she reached for it and took the note out.

"Oh," she said softly as she read, and he walked up behind her, and read along with her.

Mer,

We know you're back at work tomorrow, and hope we get to see you and Derek tonight. I've left lasagna ready for dinner, we should all be home by 7, but just in case you go to the trailer, Lexie dropped one off there too, smaller, just for you and Derek, and we kind of took the liberty of cleaning up, and there's all fresh laundry in your room.

See you tonight, and if not tomorrow at work, love Izzie
"That was very thoughtful," he murmured against her ear.

"Yes...it was," she said and held back tears.

"I'll fix lunch for us," he said.

"I can fix sandwiches Derek...that's not cooking."

"I know...and you make the best sandwiches," he smiled.

"Coward..."

"Just the last bit of pampering..." he smiled, "before we go back to work, then I'll be out of your hair."

"You're ...you're not coming back later?"

"I plan on it...unless you want some time alone," he said a bit uncertain.

"Derek...I don't want to sleep alone."

"I'll be here."

"I mean every night...I told you that before...remember...I have abandonment issues."

"I remember...I just didn't do a very good job of keeping my promise."

"Hey, you know what...that's in the past...you're here now...and that's all that matters," she said and kissed him.

"I'll take the bags up...and then fix lunch."

They walked upstairs and opened the door to her room, and she was again a bit emotional at the fact that flowers had also been placed on her nightstand and there were fresh sheets on the bed, and a pile of clean folded clothes on the chair.

"This was nice, Derek...that they did this...I've never had this...so many people looking after me."

"You deserve all of this...and more...you've been there for them...for all of them."

"We're lucky Derek...your family...and mine, it's not typical, but they are my family, they've been very supportive."

"Yes, they have been, and we are lucky," he said, and walked up behind her and put his arms around her.

She cleared her throat and said, "I'll unpack our things, and whatever you need to take, and I'll bring it downstairs..."

"It can all stay here."

"I'll be down in a couple of minutes," she said, "after I unpack and put these clean clothes away first."

Meanwhile, at the hospital, their friends sat around in the cafeteria and had some odd looks directed their way. It was not often they saw Mark Sloan sitting in the cafeteria with an intern and four residents.

"We're getting odd looks, aren't we?" Mark commented.

"Yeah, this is not up your alley."

"Well Yang, there's a first time for everything," he said.

"Dr.Sloan," Izzie said, "we're hoping Mer will be home tonight, so we can see her there, instead of at the hospital tomorrow, and you're welcome to drop by if you'd like, have dinner with us."

"Thanks Stevens, but I think she should have some time with her friends, I got to see her and Derek they went away."

"If you change your mind, just feel free to stop by," she said.

"Mark, I went by Derek's and left..."

"You're calling him Mark," Cristina questioned Lexie.

"Well, yes...he said I should, and I mean I only said so because we're talking about Mer and Derek...I know not to do that if it was not related to that, really Cristina, I know better, I do...but, right now, we're talking about my sister..."

"See, that's why I can't miss Meredith...I have you to ramble and sound just like she does," Cristina said.

"Guys...I have to get back to work," Alex said, "did you all read the info we got from Dr Sloan? Seven things to read?"

"Yes, Alex, we all read it...we all care about her..." George commented.

"You are all great friends to her," Mark said, "I know they will appreciate all your support."

"She's our family, Dr. Sloan, and you've been one of us, we appreciate that."

"Yes, O'Malley, she certainly is," Mark responded.

"Ok," Cristina said, "just remember, if you forget everything else, if in doubt, say something - anything - and be prepared to listen, (*) and she can cry. Let her cry."

"Yes," Lexie added, "it says that possibly the hardest thing, even harder than hearing an insensitive comment, is when people say nothing at all."

"Thanks for lunch Dr.Sloan, I have to run," Alex told him.

"Not a problem Karev, I've got to go myself. You're all great friends, I'm sure she's going to be fine," he said and started to walk away, "Grey, Yang, scrub in with me at three."

"You want us to scrub in with you...the surgery you have the gallery closed for."

"Take it or leave it..." he challenged.

"No...of course...of course...thank you, that's...it's great, Lexie, let's go read up on the history," she said getting up quickly and heading out.

"That's family Yang..." he said as she passed him on the way out, "just keep that comment to yourself."

"Yes...sir, it is family...of course, thank you sir, Mark...Dr. Sloan..."

Mark chuckled under his breath, and thought, she rambled, granted a Yang ramble, but there may be hope for her yet.

Meredith unpacked their bags, and smiled at the very domestic aspect of what she was doing, unpacking his things, putting aside the few items of laundry both had from the trip, they'd have to compromise she thought, and take turns doing this sort of thing.

She had separated what she was going to take downstairs, and went to get the clean laundry left on her chair, and she opened the armoire ready to put a sweater in its place but suddenly her hands shook, and laying the sweater down she reached for the small white piece of cloth and the black and white image she knew she'd find within its fold.

"Oh God..." she said softly, and then a sob escaped her, "oh God..." she held the small item against her heart and began to cry.

Derek had finished making sandwiches and found it odd she was still upstairs, "Meredith," he called out, "lunch is ready, what's taking you so long?"

When she didn't answer, he called out again, "Meredith? Did you hear me?"

She was oblivious at first, but when he called out again and she heard footsteps on the stairs, she quickly went to the bathroom and closed the door behind her.

"Meredith," he said as he walked in and didn't see her, and wondered where she was, but seeing the bathroom door closed, approached it and said again, "Meredith, did you hear me, lunch is ready."

She tried to keep the sobs down, muffling their sound against the soft white material of the gift she'd so lovingly purchased, her heart full of love and hope just a few days ago.

He heard her, and immediately opened the door, and his heart broke when he saw her sitting on the floor her back against the tub her knees raised, holding the onesie she had used to give him the news of their baby, while trying to muffle her sobs against its soft white material, as she felt the letters of the embroidery against her face.

"Meredith," he said, dropping to the floor next to her, "don't cry, please...don't cry...love...you're breaking my heart, please don't cry it will be ok...it will, I promise...things will be ok".

"It...I can't..."

"Shhh...for me please...don't cry..."

"I...oh...it hurts...Derek, it hurts so much..."

"I know...I know it does... but why didn't you call me...why didn't you answer me...why where you in here...crying alone...?

"I didn't...don't...want you to see me cry...not anymore...you said all I do is cry...when I'm with you...I don't want you to see me cry anymore..."

He wrapped his arms around her, "Meredith...please...please don't tell me that...that you're here crying and hurting and want to keep me away...please...you can't do this alone, I don't want you to do this alone, I only said that...I said that...and I was wrong...because I didn't understand, but I do...now I do... I understood that you feel you can...you can have me here to comfort you," he paused, all the while she continued to cry, and he attempted with his words and his touch to get through to her and ease her heartache, "I understood, that you don't have to put up any fronts with me...or try to keep your feelings bottled up inside, but you have to let me in...we promised not to push the other way...and I don't want you to go through this alone."

"I...I...I didn't expect this...I didn't expect to find this," she said holding the tiny garment, "and...Derek...it just breaks my...it hurts so much ...knowing our baby was here Derek...just five days ago...our baby...she was still part of me... she was still with me..."

"Shhh...we just lost our baby..." he said, trying and failing to control his emotions and the attempt to keep the tears from falling, "but...we had her just a few days...and we have to think about those days, when we thought we'd have our baby...and we were happy and she knows that...she knows we loved her...and that if we'd had the chance..." he said, but was unable to continue, and she saw the depth of his sadness.

"You see...this...this is why I didn't want you to see me like this," she said, wiping away his tears, "I don't want you to be sad anymore..."

"But...but I am," he told her, "we both are...and these are the moments we can't push or pull away, these are the moments we have to be there...together...and I feel like crying too, while I'm trying not to...but I feel like it too...so why don't we just cry together."

"I failed you...and her..." she said with a broken sob, but reached out to him, kissing his tears away.

"Please..." he said kissing her tears away as well, "you did not fail us...you actually..."

"But...what if..."

"Meredith...there's no what if's..." he said, and kissed her softly, their tears intermingled, "we can't change what happened, but...we found each other, forever...we know...we don't ever want to be apart again, even though she was only with us for a few days that we were aware of, that tiny little baby we created...she helped us understand, fully realize ...what we mean to each other...she gave us that Meredith...she helped us to appreciate what our love meant...and we will never forget that, or her...she will always be with us."

"Oh, Derek...I lost her...our little girl... a baby I had never allowed myself to dream about, " she said, holding her lips together, "and with you...the one and only man I've ever loved...we created a baby...who's gone...and I can feel your sadness and my heart is in so much pain because I want to make you happy and make all those dreams come true...and I don't know if I can...and you've had to put up with my crying...and this overwhelming emptiness...I'm sorry...but I don't know if I can...if I can do this again..." she said holding the sonogram in one hand.

"What don't you know...what can't you do..." he soothed, afraid of her answer.

"Being pregnant...and losing a baby...I don't know if I can do that again, seeing, seeing..." she said, while tracing the outline of the black and white image in her hands, and almost to herself only, "this...her gone..."

She felt his body become tense and rigid, and then he broke down sobbing, "I'm sorry...so sorry..." he said, as he held her tighter, and kept whispering, "I didn't realize...I'm sorry...Meredith...I didn't realize that's what you meant before..."

"Derek...she...she was...I loved our baby so much...I had no idea, I would ever feel this way...but now..."

"I know...I know you did...and...it hurts me too, but we'll get through his, we'll get do this together," he said and continued to hold her until her cries subsided, and in his mind he knew he couldn't see her go through that again. He had decisions to make and even as his heart was breaking, he promised he would not ask her to go through that again. The depth of his pain was unbearable, as he fully comprehended what she had gone through, what she'd meant about seeing their baby, and he knew his dreams of a family may have ended nights ago, the day she lost their baby.

He helped her get up, and as he did he asked, "may...I ...may I take this?"

"It...it was for you...but...now..."

"May I..." he said softly, and she saw the glittering reflection in his eyes, and placed the tiny garment in his hands, which he took lovingly and folding it, placed in the inside pocket of his jacket, while she kept the sonogram.

She washed her face, and they went downstairs and ate the lunch he had prepared, "lunch was good Derek," she said, attempting normalcy where none existed.

"Do you want anything else to eat? Do you need anything else?"

"I'm ok," she said quietly. "Are you?"

"Yes," he said, and got up to clear the table, and that one word spoke of his pain.

"Derek, I can do that..." she said, and got up and stopped him, and wrapped her arms around him, "why don't you go and do the things you wanted to get done today."

"You want me to leave," he said a bit defensively, though he knew that was not what she meant, but their emotional reaction to seeing the baby's garment had taken its toll.

"No, I don't want you to leave...but I think you need a little time..."

"Is that what you need?"

"Derek," she said sternly, "do not do this...we are not second guessing each other's feelings. We have just been through hell the past week, and we had two wonderful days away, and I'm sorry I found ...I found...the baby's ...and ruined it."

"Hey...don't...we're ok...I'm sorry you had to go through that today..." he said, kissing the top of her head.

"It was going to happen at some point...so let's stop... we were there for each other...that's what we promised we were going to do...and now, I do think, you probably can use some time alone, after all that's happened, and that's not a bad thing, we may need that, sometimes, and it's ok," she said and kissed him.

"When did you get so smart," he asked, and kissed her back.

"Just want to make sure you're ok..."

"We both want the same things, Meredith, it's all I want as well, to make sure you're ok."

"Then go, and I'll see you later," she said, and kissed him one last time, and walked with him to the front door.

When he left, she cleaned up the kitchen, did laundry, and made three calls, Dr. Cameron, Dr. Wyatt and Dr. Sloan but in his case had to leave a message, which he returned.

"Mark, thanks for calling me back."

"How are you?"

"I'm ok, but I'm worried about Derek, and I thought you might talk to him, actually I'm hoping you'll see him today."

"What's wrong Grey?"

She didn't get into details, but told him they'd had a couple of very good days, and then what had happened when she got home, and that she felt he needed some time alone, really away from her, because she felt he was bottling everything inside, just trying to be strong for her, and that he could use his brother. After that, she went to take a nap, hoping for the numbing effect only sleep could bring, but not before she took the sonogram and wrote in the back, Brianna, and the date the image had been taken.

Derek was on the ferry, on his way home when he felt the vibration of his phone and responded instinctively, "Shepherd."

"Don't you look before you answer?"

"Mark, not in the mood for any jokes."

"That's what Grey said."

"You spoke to Meredith?"

"She called me."

"When? Why? Is something wrong with her, she didn't call me."

"Shep, she's worried about you."

"She called you for that?"

"Yeah...can you think of a better reason."

"I'm fine."

"I guess familiarity does rub off...you're fine, my ass."

"What the hell did she say to you," he asked defensively, and Mark told him.

"So you see, you dumb ass, she's really just worried about you, which makes the two of you perfectly suited for one another, now where the hell are you?"

Derek reached the trailer, found that Lexie had indeed been there, picked up the note by the small vase of flowers she'd left on the table, and read it, and placed in his pocket to take to Meredith. Then he went for a walk around his property, and at some point found himself by the cliff at the site of their future home, just as the sun had began to set, holding a glass of amber liquid in his hand, and that was how hours later Mark found him.

"You're going to pay for two pairs of shoes, Shep," he said and startled Derek out of his dark thoughts, and turned around to face his friend.

"What are you doing here? I didn't ask you to come, and if you're stupid enough to wear those type of shoes again, you get to pay for them."

Mark, put his hand on his shoulder, "how are you Derek?"

"Completely fucked up," he responded truthfully.

"Wanna talk about it?"

He took a deep breath, swallowed the last of the amber liquid and grabbed the glass and hurled it against the closet tree where it found it's target and shattered.

"I don't know how to help her."

"What are you talking about, she told me you had a great couple of days, and then turns around and tells me she is worried about you."

"She's still hurting Mark...she's cried so much, and I don't know what else I can do...she's ok sometimes...the time we were away, the last few days, it was healing in a lot of ways...but today...she just broke down," he paused, and very quietly added, "we both did."

"What happened?"

Derek glossed over some of the details of the last few days, but when he got to earlier that afternoon, it was difficult to control his emotions, "she...she was putting laundry away, and...she found...found this..." he said taking the onesie from his pocket, "she...she'd bought this...for me," he said taking a deep breath, and unable to continue.

Mark, read the words and found himself become emotional as well, not just for Derek, but the child he'd lost, the child Addison had not cared enough about, and put his hand on Derek's shoulder and squeezed, "I'm sorry, Derek...so sorry for your loss."

He took a deep breath, and after long minutes replied, "thank you...I get it...what it must have felt like for you. I'm sorry for your loss too," he said, and both men, found themselves comforting the other with those words.

"Derek, I...we...her friends, we've looked at a lot of information, make sure we say the right thing...and Shep, you have to know...what she's going through, it's normal...it may be a while, weeks before her hormones are back to normal, and she'll probably do a lot of crying still, but all I've read...it says it helps to talk, and for her to cry...but most of all you need to do this together, and you have to accept it's your loss too."

"You...you've been reading...about this...miscarriages..." he stated a bit in shock.

"Yeah...we...we wanted to be sensitive, not to say the wrong things...for her...for both of you, and it would help if you read the same thing, it's on the web."

"That's...that's very thoughtful," Derek said quite moved, "that means a lot, and it will mean a lot to her too."

"We want you both to be ok...Derek...she has the obvious physical issues, but both of you...both of you need to heal emotionally."

"Who would have thought..." he joked for the first time in hours, "you a shrink."

"Yeah...I guess having Kat around was a bad influence."

"Must have been that," Derek stated.

"Shep...don't beat yourself over this...just be there for her, that's all she needs."

"I hope you're right..."

"I know I am, now get your ass out of here and go to her, I'm sure she's waiting for you, though I hope she didn't wait for you to have dinner, all her friends were going to be there by seven thirty."

"How do you know about dinner?"

"I had lunch with the bunch today in the cafeteria."

"Ok...who are you? What happened to my friend the cocky intern slave driver, can't be bothered with teaching cause I'm God...Mark Sloan?"

"His brother forgave him for fucking up his life, and he has a sister in law that's had enough shit in her life, and needs protecting."

Derek looked at him incredulously, then surprising them both embraced him, "I've told you before...but I'm glad to have my brother back," and gave him a heartfelt pat on the back.

"Let's go Shep, Meredith is waiting for you."

"Want to come for dinner?"

"No...have other dinner plans."

"Tracy?"

"Yeah."

"Need to talk?"

"No...not yet," Mark said, as they both walked back through the clearing to Mark's car.

"I'm here, anytime," he said, and they made small talk on the way back to Derek's trailer, where they now saw the Chief was home for the night.

"Derek, he feels bad, Richard knows he screwed up...give him a break."

"I have no intention..."

"Derek, just...give it a chance...he called a meeting, all of us, Bailey, the four and Lexie, and spoke to us about being there, supporting Grey...and you through this time."

"He should have thought about that before."

"We all fuck up...he's trying now, and I met that little girl Shep...there was nothing you could do to stop what happened with Meredith...but that little girl, she looks like a little angel...she deserved to have the best surgeon ...and you saved her life."

"You saw her, Kelly?"

"Everyone's seen her, she's got the entire floor wrapped around her little finger, there's something...something quite special about her."

"Meredith met her you know...she agreed...it was the right thing to do..."

"Just...think about it...and hey...think about the bright side too...he's probably going to agree to anything you ask for now."

"We'll...we'll see," he said as he got out of the car and headed for the trailer, "thanks Mark, I'll see you tomorrow."

Meredith heard the commotion while she was getting dressed, she'd showered and then napped for a couple of hours, and now was about to see some of her friends for the first time since she'd lost the baby, a baby she'd never had a chance to tell them about.

"Keep it quiet," George told them, "for all you know they're sleeping," Meredith heard him say as she descended the stairs.

"Dude, just chill, it's time for dinner, they should be waking up anyway."

"Maybe they're not here, Shepherd's car wasn't parked outside," Cristina added.

"I left her a note," Izzie said, "so they know we'd be here and that they could have dinner, so I'm just going to warm this up, and we can eat in about half an hour."

"I'm here," Meredith said walking in the kitchen, and all went silent, "Derek's not."

"Mer...why not, why isn't Shepherd here?"

"He had some things to do...Cristina, don't think the worst of him, he'll be here later," she said, though the part of her that still harbored doubts, was thinking he may not show up tonight as it was already close to eight, and over an hour ago she'd received a text from Mark, simple, but had said, Shep's ok, don't worry.

"Mer, we thought it would be good, if we had dinner here tonight...we weren't sure if you and Dr. Shepherd would be here but...just in case...we could see you, instead of at the hospital."

"Thanks Iz, we did appreciate it...thank you...the flowers are beautiful, and you didn't have to go through all the trouble to tidy up."

"Are you ok? Are you feeling ok?" George asked her.

"I'm getting there...I'm going to be honest, there's times...this is hard," she said, getting teary eyed, "but...Derek and I...we're going to be ok."

George walked up to her, "we're all here for you...whatever you need," he said and kissed her cheek.

"I know," she said simply, "it means a lot to me," and pulled out a chair and sat down, and a few seconds later, Alex sat next to her, and reached for her hand.

"You deserved better," he said, still holding her hand and looking in her eyes, "I'm sorry."

"Thank you," she said, squeezing his hand gently in return, "it hurts...a lot," she added quietly, and he leaned over and kissed her cheek.

"You need any shifts covered," he said, " you let me know."

"I think... think working will help," she said.

"Mer," Izzie asked, "should we wait for Derek, before we eat?"

"No, you can go ahead, if..." she stared to say, but changed her mind, "he had a lot to do, so, he can eat later, he won't mind," she said, just as Lexie walked in.

"Hi," Lexie said as she went to sit at the head of the table, next to her sister, "did you enjoy the spa, it looked beautiful."

"It was, we needed that," she said, and Lexie noticed her sadness.

"Mer, what's wrong," she asked as she placed her hand on her arm, "where's Derek now?"

"He had a lot of things to do," she said, and felt her voice quiver, "I...think he's coming...later," and could not hide the emotion in her tone, nor the tears that pooled in the grey green eyes.

"Am I going to have to call him out for you," her sister asked in a half joking mode.

"No...we're ok," she said, but suddenly wasn't so sure, as she heard the clock chime the eight o'clock hour, and got up from the table. "I'll be right back," she said, not wanting to let anyone see her doubts, when suddenly he was walking toward her, and their gazes met, and the tears in her eyes reminded him her doubts had not been put to rest.

"Hey," he said as he walked to her and they met before outside the kitchen.

"You came," she said softly, words barely audible to him.

"Can we talk," he said holding her hand and pulling her with him to the living room.

"Is something wrong..." she said, not wanting to look at him, expecting the worst.

"I think so," he said, and forced her to meet his gaze.

"Oh..." she whispered, and that word spoke of all her doubts and fears that he too would walk away.

"You get that I love you..."

"But..." she heard herself say.

"That's what I would like you to tell me...what's going on in your head...because, clearly, you didn't believe I was going to show up."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be...I get it...I've given you reasons to doubt...but, Meredith...we can't do this, we can't let old doubts and fears and past behavior get in the way of what we've been trying so hard to save...what we both want..."

"I...I knew you needed some time alone."

"I thought you needed that as well...but, the only but...is that you need to believe me, trust me...that I'm always going to show up. I broke that promise once, I won't again..."

She stood in front of him, unsure of what to say, because he was right, she had doubted, and she wanted to believe him, he'd given her no reason not to since the night they had gotten back together... reconciled

"Derek..." she said, seeing the look in his eyes and wishing she hadn't given in to dark and twisty thoughts, "are you ok?"

"I will be..." he said, and looked at her intensely, and after several endless seconds, "as long as you are," he said, and the emotion in his voice got through to her, and she knew at that moment that whatever had happened in the past, whatever doubts she may have felt where this man was concerned, this man that loved her and for once fate seemed to be looking down favorably upon her, this man, who was the love of her life, her soul mate, would not let her down again.

"Are we ok..." she said, standing close to him, barely inches away.

"Are we, Meredith?" uncertainty evident in the dejected tone of his voice.

"Yes..." she said, leaning in and kissing him softly, "yes, Derek...we are," and tenderly caressed his face, and kissed his lips again, "yes...and I love you...I love you so much, and you need to know, I want you to know...Derek, you are my life..."

"I am..." he asked tenuously.

"Yes...you are," she said pulling back to look at him, "don't ever forget it."

"We...we need to work on things...trust...it's important, Meredith...we have to trust each other, this time we've spent together...what we've been through, we can't let doubts get in the way of all that..." he smiled, using her words, "progress."

"Extraordinary progress," she said separating the distance between them, and they held on to each other, knowing they would never allow the other to let go.

"I love you, Meredith..." he said and kissed her tenderly.

"Let's have dinner...our family's waiting for us," she smiled a bit sadly at the bittersweet moments they would face as soon as they walked in to the kitchen, "waiting to show us their support."

Izzie was the first to react as Meredith and Derek walked in holding hands, "Dr...Derek, we're glad you could make in time for dinner."

"Sorry I held you up, I was unexpectedly delayed," he said squeezing her hand, "Mark suddenly decided he'd pay me a visit...and play shrink," he said hoping to lighten the somber mood.

Lexie intercepted them as they walked to the table, "I'm glad you're here, I was afraid I was going to have to call you out, and ask Cristina to be my second."

He hugged her, "thank you Xena," he said quietly, "your sister is lucky to have you," and they all proceeded to find their seats at the table.

"I'd like to say something," Meredith said, "before we eat," she said, holding Derek's hand for comfort, "we...Derek and I...we...didn't get a chance to tell you...before, before," she paused, as her emotions got the best of her.

"Mer..." Cristina spoke up, "we understand...and we want you to know how much we care, all of us, we wanted to be here...we know you and Derek were happy about this baby, and we...we're all very sorry for your loss."

"Mer...Derek...we're here, if you need anything...please let us help," Izzie added.

"Meredith, and I," Derek spoke for them both, as she was still affected by the words that had been spoken by Cristina and Izzie, and the fact they were all there for dinner, "it means a great deal to us to have your support during this time, for all you've done."

The seven people at the table ate in relative silence for the first several minutes, until they regained the familiar camaraderie and spoke of recent happenings at the hospital, each recognizing the tremendous effect the loss of this child represented, and the overwhelming emotions that brought them together and now bound them as family forever.