(Shattered...) Dreams Fulfilled

Dark & Twisty - Part 2

Meredith decided to spend Thursday as a quiet day, at first ignoring a call from Colleen. But, then, thought better of it, knowing the kids never failed to warm her heart, and she needed that today and thus agreed to go over for lunch.

"Dr. Mewedith," Kelly ran to her as soon as she walked in the door and followed the housekeeper toward the back of the house. "You gots to come and eat lunch with us," she said and Meredith bent down and hugged her before lifting her.

"I didn't have to work today," Meredith told her as the little girl wrapper her legs around her waist, but then she felt a little tornado run into her and hug her legs.

"Hi," she looked down and saw a grinning little boy looking up to her, "hi..."

"Hi Sean," she smiled at him.

"Hi...up..." the little one said and pulled on her shirt.

"Kelly, do you mind," she asked to make sure there were no jealousies, "if I put you down and pick up Sean?"

"Cause he's a baby?"

"Yes," Meredith hugged her one more time, "and he won't understand if I don't pick him up," she bent down to lift him in her arms, "and hug him too."

"Dr. Mewedith...you love my baby brother and me...I knows that..."

"Yes, sweetie, I do," she said as he immediately wrapped his chubby little arms around her neck and hugged her, and then gave her a slobbery kiss.

"I see," Colleen smiled, "my children have found you."

"They have, and I can't believe he's walking so well on his own," Meredith said, as Sean began to have a conversation with her, and his sister sat next to her while he sat on Meredith's lap and translated what he was saying. Meredith smiled at their ramblings, giving them her undivided attention while Colleen went in the kitchen and brought out their lunch, over which Meredith laughed as Sean tried to feed himself, and ultimately ended up covered with carrots, and she took a couple shots of the kids and sent them to Derek.

"T..." Sean said, and repeated as he pulled on Meredith's hair, "Mama," he called to Colleen smiling, "t..."

"Yes," Colleen said, "she's pretty...Meredith is pretty..."

"Mama..." he turned to Meredith, and kissed her cheek, "t..."

"Thank you Sean," Meredith kissed him back.

"Dr. Mewedith," Kelly said, "he loves you, cause he stays with you lots and lots of time."

"I think," Colleen said quietly to Meredith, "it's time for me to take him before she starts keeping track of time, have her sit with you a while," and reached for her son, "hey baby, let's go find your bear..."

"No. No. No," he shook his head.

"Dr. Mewedith," Kelly sat on her lap, "my baby brother is very smart...cause he knows bear means nap time."

"No." Sean shook his head again.

"See...tolds you..." she nodded her head.

"He is very smart," she said, "just like his sister."

"I take no nap," Kelly said immediately.

"Little girls need naps," Meredith spoke to her, "and remember Dr. Shep wants you to still take naps."

"But, I'm all better."

"Yes, you are," Meredith told her, "but he wants to make sure you stay that way...and you still need to take naps."

"But today's special," Kelly argued, "cause you don't be at the hospital...and you gots to come have lunch with us."

"It is very special," Meredith ran her fingers through the little girl's dark curls, "and when I tell Dr. Shep that you were going to take a nap after I went home, that will make him very happy."

"Mommy..." Kelly turned to her mother, "I gots to take a nap?"

"Just a little while," Colleen said, "but not while Meredith is here."

"Will you stay lots and lots of time, till the sun is gone?"

Meredith had to laugh, "I will stay for a while, and I'll even read you a story," she said, and she did as Kelly sat in her bed, and then she kissed the little girl goodbye.

"Colleen, thanks for calling and for lunch, it was great to spend time with the kids."

"Anytime you're home and want to come over, just call me, the kids love spending time with you."

"I may just do that," Meredith told her, "I never thought I'd be good with kids..."

"You're wonderful with them," Colleen said.

"Maybe it's just with your kids," Meredith said, and Colleen noticed the hesitation in her voice, "the circumstances."

"Don't second guess yourself," Colleen told her, "I was there, the day you were shopping for the little ones back east, your affection and interest in them...that was genuine."

"I probably won't see them too much though," Meredith said simply.

"How was your visit? Were you ok...with the baby?"

"I fell in love with her," Meredith's eyes sparkled, "the moment I saw her and held her," she went on to talk about her godchild, and shared the pictures she'd already shown Kelly when she'd asked if the baby liked the doll she picked out for her.

"Meredith," Colleen said, "are you ok?"

"Yes," she smiled at the woman that had so unexpectedly become a friend. "A little sad," she admitted, "I may not get to see her so often."

"That's the beauty of the internet...you can keep track of her with photos at an instant."

The two women spoke for over an hour before Meredith drove home, unaware of Derek's frustration at the lack of response from Jenna. Though she had become resigned to it.

"Jenna Patricia," Derek left one more voice mail, "what is going on? I don't want to call Mom and make more of this than it is. Jen, please call me. I'm sorry I yelled before, but I'm worried about you...why you're not calling me, why you'd lie to Mer about Kerry sleeping through the night, she talked to Kat and Mom, and they both mentioned it without being aware you haven't been in touch...just call me or Mer, she's really understanding and she doesn't fly off the handle like I do..."

Jenna, however, became immersed in her own unnecessary guilt; and erroneously concluded her whining and insistence is what had precipitated their visit, and then she'd added salt to the wound by making them godparents. Total irrationality had clouded her judgment and ability to see the situation clearly; just like Meredith had become resigned to accepting that as her mother had thought her ordinary, Jenna too may have decided she wanted someone less ordinary for her baby's godmother.

Meredith got home and spent a few hours reviewing recent data on new patients undergoing treatment as in their medical trail. Then, on the spur of the moment drove to the cliff to enjoy the sunset; a spectacular view from the site that would one day be their home and sent Derek a shot.

-Wish you were here
-me too
-just out of surgery
-when will you be home
-by 7
-you really don't mind staying here
-no & great shot of Sean
-lol covered in carrots
-you had a good day?
-I did
-I love you Mer
-me too
-see you in a bit
-ok

Meredith returned home and had just finished drying her hair when she noticed the blinking red light indicating new messages on her blackberry. She smiled as she read a message from Maggie.

"Mom, girls...you would not believe the level of luxury here. Here's the link, but if it doesn't work, it's the Emirates Palace. From the moment you arrive, it's over the top luxurious... the driveway to the main entrance is marble...maybe it's granite...I have to remember to ask John, though I should know the difference right. I tried to be very discreet and take some photos of the uniforms worn by some of the staff in the lobby as you can literally see the gold threads in the fabric. My husband is determined to pamper me, and I'm loving every minute of it. He's just left for the first morning meeting...and Jenna...there is definitely something about mornings...LOL. Mer, don't let Derek see this email, Ma...I know you don't care. We're here another two days it turns out and then will be in Dubai. I emailed the boys and we have already talked to them twice, well Kathleen knows this and sorry they have been such brats. Ok...got to go, will write again, the butler is at the door, yes, 24 hr butler service, probably to escort me to the Spa. Love you all, Maggie."

Then, she clicked on the next message, and the tears began to fall as she read, just as they had while Jenna wrote them.

"Mer, Rob's mom and two sisters are here today, so I haven't had much free time to call you. But, I've been thinking...you and Derek have been here twice in so little time, and I know how hard it is to get weekends off...and that you gave up a trip with Derek had planned to come here last week ...and since the two of you technically can't be godparents, and can only be witnesses...maybe you want to reconsider flying out for the baptism...Rob and I would totally understand... if the two of you want to use that time and go on your trip.

I know I made a big deal out of it, and it was probably all those pregnancy hormones. Please don't feel obligated to be here. We'll talk soon, love, Jenna."

Meredith had to read the message twice before it sunk in, and then, she wiped her tears away and typed back, though it would be a couple hours before she would actually send the message, right before her husband walked in the door.

"Jenna," she wrote as her heart felt like it was breaking, but accepting that yet one more person found her lacking, "please don't worry, we should have understood the functions of godparents properly, and that you may want to consider it's best for Kerry to have more than just witnesses at her baptism, I understand. I've missed talking to you, but I'm glad she's sleeping through the night," she wrote trying to ignore the painful reminders of lifelong rejections.

"Hey," she felt his lips on hers "no dinner tonight," he teased his wife as she lay in bed. "I thought you'd embraced domesticity," and then he became concerned as she wrapped her arms around his neck and held him, and then she pulled back and kissed him tenderly, and he looked in her eyes and saw the sadness that always overwhelmed him.

"I have dinner in the oven," she said, smiling softly at him.

"You've been crying," he said, "what's wrong?"

"Nothing" she lied to him, "I was just watching Steel Magnolias."

"Meredith..."

"I got your favorites for dinner," she kissed him softly, "I thought...maybe we could go by the cliff and eat...it's not too cold...and no trace of rain."

"We can do that," he went along with her, knowing something was wrong, and trusting she'd talk to him before the night was out.

The night was unusually bright for November, and after dinner, he pulled her to his lap, and held her, "I love you."

"We should do this more often," she put her arms around his neck, and rested her head on his shoulder.

"You mean," he teased her, "you, cooking dinner..."

"Yeah..." she said absently, but hugged him.

"I'm thinking next time...you could try lasagna, homemade bread and tiramisu for dessert."

"We could," she said, and then smiled at him, "I thought you wanted to live till you're one hundred and ten...that's a sure to end your life quickly," she said, and got him to laugh, and they spoke about his day, and hers, without any mention of Jenna.

They made love that night, taking their time to please the other, each sensing the need for the other to understand the depth of their love and commitment; passion was always present, but on this night, every vow and promise made since their reconciliation and subsequent marriage became a silent reaffirmation in each touch and caress, before the ultimate fulfillment when he joined their bodies as one.

"I love you," she said, late into the night as she lay in his arms, his body molding hers as his hand caressed the length of hers.

"You know what would mean a lot to me," he said quietly, his lips tenderly kissing the back of her neck.

"What?"

"If you'd tell me what's bothering you. If you'd trust me with whatever made you cry. If you'd believe in me enough to know all I want is for you to be happy, and when I came home tonight, I saw sadness...and I need for you to let me share that with you."

She reached for the hand that lay on her waist and brought it to her lips, and he felt the moistness of her tears. "I do trust you, and believe in you...and sometimes...we don't both have to be sad..."

"But you are...and I want you to need me...as much as I need you."

"Oh Derek," she turned to face him, "I do need you...always...I need you so much."

"Then," he cupped her face, "tell me...what's making you sad...let me help make the sadness go away...unless," doubts suddenly consumed him, "it's me...it's that it...do I make you unhappy?"

"No," she shook her head, "no...you are what makes my life complete."

"Talk to me..."

"I don't want to make you unhappy..."

"Are you leaving me?"

"What..." she asked incredulously, "you think that..."

"No," he said, as he caressed her face, "but that is the only thing..."

"You are stuck with me," she placed her lips on his, "forever..."

"I want you...forever...and beyond...Meredith, beyond this lifetime."

She took a deep breath and turned slightly to reach for her blackberry, and he frowned.
"I thought... maybe I was misinterpreting things...both Cristina and Kathleen thought I was wrong..."

"You talked to them..." he said, and she saw the brief glimpse of hurt.

"I wanted to try to work it out on my own...and they both told me to talk to you...that you'd be worried about me, and I know that it was true, but it hurt...and I wanted to spare you if I was wrong...but I wasn't...she's changed her mind..."

"Changed her mind," he asked, "Mer...what are you talking about?"

"Jenna hasn't called since we've been back, so... I called her and she wrote me the email you saw. She lied to me, and for whatever reasons, she does not want to call me, and that's fine, it is..."

"It's not," he said quietly, "it's not fine."

"I'm used to it," she said trying to dismiss its importance, "people change their mind about me all the time."

"Mer," he said, angry at his sister for reawakening these doubts, "that's not true."

"It's ok," she said, without concern for the fact that she was willing to display her most vulnerable fear, "as long as it's not you, as long as you don't change your mind."

"Are you doubting my feelings for you...my commitment to..."

"No," she said, "I'm not...and that is why I'm able to tell you...no holding back...this is me trusting you completely...with my emotions ...with all I'm feeling."

"Meredith...my life is nothing without you...don't ever doubt it."

"I don't, I haven't...I'm in this Derek...like you...for that lifetime..."

"What happened," he asked, "what is it that has made you sad and unhappy?"

She looked at her phone and scrolled to find a message and showed him, and she felt him tense and he took several deep breaths without saying anything.

"I'm sorry," she told him, "I did not want you to deal with this...and I know you may be angry with me, for what I wrote back...but Derek...I can't be there...not when I'm not wanted."

"If she really meant that," he said after a long pause, "it's not about you, but both of us...and that means she doesn't want me either...Meredith, there is no one...that would be a better godmother to that baby...."

"Don't," she said softly and her eyes glimmered with tears, "don't talk about her as that baby...she has a name, a beautiful name, and she opened my heart...and helped to heal all I felt about our baby...and it's ok...she did bring joy to our lives...even if ..."

"This is not ok," he cupped her face, "the way Jenna has hurt you...it's not ok..."

"She's hurting you too," she said, "and I wanted to avoid that...but...it ...I didn't think I should keep this from you...not after her message."

"I called her," Derek said, "several times today, she didn't answer me."

"I think," Meredith told him, "she just figured out I was all dark and twisty..."

"You are not," Derek told her.

"That's what Cristina and Kathleen said," Meredith told him, repeating both conversations. "I didn't want to keep this from you...I was just trying to understand what I was feeling...and it doesn't make sense...but it's what she wants Derek, and I'm thinking that you should be there...she's always wanted you to be godfather...it's me she's having doubts about, and I understand, she doesn't know me..."

"It doesn't work that way," he told her, his mind racing, his anger increasing, "you are my wife, and if this is how she feels...she can find new godparents..."

"Derek...you love the baby...just like I do...I'll still be her aunt..."

"Jenna needs to own up to her actions, this is not something I'm going to forget...she hurt you."

"Derek, she just had a baby, maybe it's all part of it...but this is your little sister...the one you worry about...the one you fought with Rob over, because he wasn't good enough."

"You did not deserve to be treated like she just has," he said, "and I'm not sure I can be as forgiving as you are."

"Will you think about it," Meredith said tenderly, "for me...don't say anything until you've had a chance to think it through...we'll talk about it...please..."

"Yes," was all he said, as he hugged her and held her the rest of the night; a decision already made, one he knew she'd disagree with, but he was not going to allow his sister or anyone in his family to ever make her feel the way she'd been made to feel tonight. Ellis and Thatcher had ruined her childhood. In spite of them, there was still compassion and trust in her heart, and he'd seen the change in her, the way she'd embraced his family, her happiness over her relationship with them, and he would do whatever it took to protect her feelings, to protect her from ever feeling unworthy and ordinary again, even if it meant distancing the relationship with his sister.

Meredith's shift had been moved and started seven the next morning, which meant a ride on the five twenty ferry; making her remember all the reasons why they didn't stay at the trailer when they had early morning shifts. "I don't want to get up..."

"But," Derek told her, "you have to...and if you hurry, first on first off the ferry...we'll have time to go home for a quickie," he teased her.

"You'll drive," she pouted, "we can stay in the car...and I can sleep all the way home."

"I will," he said, "and you can..." and as promised he got them to her house in record time for a most enjoyable morning quickie, which meant she was ten minutes late for her forty eight hour shift.

"Grey," Miranda Bailey greeted her, "do you need new batteries for your watch?"

"No Dr. Bailey," she said and turned to her husband, "but...Derek's does."

Miranda just shook her head, "see why attendings shouldn't..." she started to say, and was met by Derek's smile, "never mind...but...just for that...you're going to have Tuck on your next day off... both of you are taking him fishing," she said, and walked away smiling.

Derek placed one more call to his sister, "Jenna, I don't know exactly what I'm feeling right now, but angry and disappointment come to mind. I'm trying, so hard," he paused, as all his emotions threatened to choke him, "to understand why you said the things you did...why you have chosen to hurt Meredith so much...Jenna, you have no idea...how much you've hurt her, and me...I don't care about ...but her...she didn't deserve that. Jenna Patricia, you know better...when we hurt," he said, as his voice became tearful, "you forgot all about what daddy used to say...you had no reasons...none at all to say those things to Meredith...please help me to understand," he said and disconnected the call, then he went to speak with Richard; and after his first morning surgery, when it was evident his sister was not returning his calls, he paged his wife.

"Derek," Meredith said as soon as she walked in his office, "what's going on, I just walked by the surgical board, your name's been erased from all your surgeries today."

"I need to talk to you," he said, and led her to the small couch.

"What's going on?" she asked as she sat down and he reached for her hand.

"Several nights ago, you asked me to give you time to try to understand what you were feeling, and I did...and last night...you told you wanted to try to work things out...before both of us were feeling hurt..."

"Derek...you're scaring me..."

"I need you to trust me and believe me when I tell you that all I want is for you to be happy...that I don't want you to feel any more sadness...and that I need just a little time...to try to understand how I can make sure that happens..."

"Derek...what...what are you talking about?"

"There's something I need to do...and I'll be back tomorrow morning..."

"You need time..." she said, a bit confused, "like when you went away camping?"

"No," he kissed her softly. "I just need to deal with something...and understand what I'm going to do."

"This is about Jenna and Kerry...isn't it..."

"It is," he admitted.

"But, I told you...it's ok...Derek...it is...I understand...and she's entitled to change ..."

"It's not ok, and I don't understand, and I need to understand."

"What...are you doing? Where are you going?"

"Will you trust me...please...just a little time...less time than it took you to talk to me."

"Yes," she said simply, his destination, not once crossing her mind. "I trust you."

"I'll see you in the morning," he said and kissed her deeply. "I love you."

"I love you too..."

Jenna was beside herself. Carolyn had spent the night and insisted Kerry sleep in her room, telling Rob his wife needed a good night's sleep. Rob had forced her to go to bed after feeding the baby at midnight, and after five nights of intermittent sleep she gave in to exhaustion and slept fourteen hours straight. Unfortunately, she had not seen or heard her messages until both her husband and mother had left the house.

"Mom," Jenna said, "can you come back...I've done something horrible..." and began to cry.

"Jenna," Carolyn said after taking a deep breath and saying a silent prayer that all was well, "sweetheart...please calm down...tell me are you hurt? Is the baby hurt? Are the girls ok?"

After answering no, no and yes, Carolyn was able to relax. "Ok...Jenna...is Jane there?"

"Yes, but Mom...it's you I need."

"I'm already on my way," Carolyn said, "but I want to talk to Jane...will you tell her that please..."

"No," Jenna said, "she's with the baby...I don't want to upset Kerry, I'm the one making her get no sleep at night...it's all my fault... Mom...I did something so bad..."

"Sweetheart," Carolyn insisted, "I'm going to ask you again...is anyone hurt?"

"No Mom...and you'd think...you think..." it dawned on her, "I'd hurt my baby...my girls..."

"No," Carolyn said calmly, "I just need to make sure everyone's ok."

"They are," Jenna whimpered, "but...I hurt Meredith and Derek..."

"Meredith and Derek, honey they are in Seattle..."

"I know Mom...I'm not dense," some feistiness returned.

"Will you do something for me," Carolyn said, "while I'm getting there...have a nice long hot shower... and I will be there within ten minutes."

Carolyn Shepherd prayed all the way to her daughter's house, and walked right up to her room and knocked gently before entering. "Jenna," she sat next to her daughter on the bed, and took her hands in hers, "what's wrong? What's happened?"

"Mom," she said as her eyes filled with tears, "Derek is so angry with me..."

"Jenna, explain to me...from the begging," Carolyn said patiently and began to listen to her daughter, and her heart became heavy with sadness when she showed her the emails she'd sent Meredith and her response, and then she played her brother's last message.

"He's never going to forgive me...but I thought... I was doing the right thing..."

"Jenna," her mother hugged her as her daughter sobbed, "why didn't you talk to me...or Kathleen...honey...we could have helped..."

"How could I talk to Kathleen...that would be betraying her confidence...you said...Mom, you said I had to tell her in her own time...and how could I tell Kathleen..."

"Oh sweetheart, I'm sorry...so sorry...all of you are going through this..."

"He's never going to forgive me Mom...he sounded so disappointed..."

"I know your brother," Carolyn soothed her, "and he will...right now...he's only concerned for Meredith...and how this is affecting her...let's call him...and we'll begin to get this resolved," unfortunately, Derek had already boarded his flight to New York, and had just shut off the phone after calling Meredith to tell her he loved her

"He doesn't want to talk to me," Jenna sniffled.

"Ok...stop that," Carolyn said, "we are going to fix this...so no more crying. Go get Kerry, you need to feed her, and that will be good for you both."

"Mom," Jenna met her mother's gaze, "you really think he'll forgive me?"

"I don't know," Carolyn snapped, "but you're lucky Meredith will."

"That was not nice," Jenna told her mother who was dialing a number.

"Yeah, well," she said, "Kathleen, honey I'm so glad you answered. Do you think you can come over to Jenna's? I know dear, but it's important. Now. There's nothing wrong, that we don't be able to fix. Yes, the girls are fine, Jenna is fine...nobody is hurt. I will call Pat and have her keep the kids in school till six and Kevin can pick them up."

"Jane," Carolyn spoke to the longtime housekeeper, "the girls have ballet this afternoon? Do you think you can take them out to dinner after that? I want to spend a little time with Jenna, she's had a few days of emotions being all over the place," she provided as an explanation.

"Mom," Kathleen hugged her mother as soon as she walked in, and took the baby from her, "what's going on? Is Jenna ok? I was worried about her, but she said she was ok."

"What are you talking about?" Carolyn demanded of Kathleen.

"It's all my fault," Jenna said as she stood by the doorframe to the den.

"Stop with the blame," Carolyn said, "or I swear I'm going to ...I don't know what I'll do...but no more blame and no more crying...now sit down...both of you...and I'm going to take the baby to the nursery...so she is not upset...and I will be right back."

"Kathleen," Carolyn began to speak before walking in the room, "we have a small crisis...and you need to... Jenna, save the tears...for now," she said, "and let me talk, no interruptions."

"Mom," Kathleen said, "you said minor crisis...is anyone sick..."

"Kathleen," Carolyn took a deep breath, "when Meredith and Derek were here," she began, "when they were in the nursery saying goodbye to the baby, they did not realize there was a baby monitor, and Jenna overheard their conversation and found out about Meredith's miscarriage."

"Kathleen knew..." Jenna said, and incredulous expression on her face, "all this time...and you let me go on...and insist..."

"Jenna," Carolyn said, "do not interrupt...we are going to get this fixed...and your sister is going to help us with that. Kathleen, I told your sister," she continued and filled her in on their conversation that night, and the subsequent events she'd just discovered.

"Oh my God...no wonder Meredith was so upset when I spoke to her...it all make sense now...Jenna...but how could you...why would you write that email...that is so insensitive...they were here...and she loved being with the baby, surely you saw that," the older sister reprimanded, but then saw the look of genuine sorrow on her sister's face and went over to hug her. "I'm sorry...I know you didn't mean any of it...Jenna...don't cry...I promise you...Meredith will understand...she will..."

"Derek is so angry and disappointed with me...he won't even return my calls..."

"Ok...let' see if he'll pick up for me," and she tried calling but it went to voice mail, then she dialed Meredith's number, "Mer...it's Kat...please call me when you hear this and have a few minutes to talk."

"You think she'll call?" Jenna asked.

"She usually does, but she's on her 48 hr shift now," she said, and then spent the next hour talking with her sister and mom in terms of the best way to deal with the situation, and Kathleen knew she'd go with her instincts when Meredith or her brother called.

"Kathleen," Meredith's voice was nervous, "I couldn't call earlier, but it sounded important so I have Cristina covering for me so I could take at least a thirty minute break...Kat...is everything ok?"

"I think so," Kathleen said, "it will be. I need to talk to Derek, but he's not returning my calls, do you know what his schedule is like today?"

"Something's wrong..." Meredith said, "I can sense it...and Derek's gone...and what's going on Kathleen, is Mom ok...Jenna...the baby...the kids..."

"Everything is ok," Kathleen said, "you said Derek is gone, where is he?"

"I don't know..."

"Meredith...you don't know where he is, that doesn't make sense..."

"Oh God...it's such a long story...and he was upset and I was upset, but I tried to tell him it was ok...that it didn't matter, which it does and it hurt , but I didn't want him to be disappointed that Jenna could change her mind...but he read the email and I tried to keep it from him...but we're not doing that...we're being open with each other...and I'm not going to the baptism, but I think he should..."

"Meredith," Kathleen said quietly, looking at Jenna and her mother, "I already knew that Derek read the email."

"You do," Meredith paused, "how...but wait...you wanted to talk to him..."

"Meredith, I'm at Jenna's and she's very upset."

"Oh..." Meredith said quietly. "Please tell her, I understand, that I don't blame her for changing her mind."

"She hasn't changed her mind."

"She has Kathleen...it's ok...tell her...she shouldn't be upset, I read that babies can sense that...and I'm not worth that..."

"Oh honey," Kathleen said, as tears filled her eyes, "you are worth so much...you have no idea...listen...are you alone right now...I need to talk to you..."

"Kathleen," Meredith said, a big agitated, "what is wrong?"

"Can you go to Derek's office, can you talk there?"

"Yes, I'm actually here...I came here to call you."

"Mer...will you tell me what happened with Derek...why is he away?"

"Yes," Meredith said, and quickly repeated the story, "but you see, I don't know where he went, but he told me he'd call me tonight and that he'd be back in the morning."

"Meredith," Kathleen said, "if I know my brother, he's on his way here..."

"What...to New York? Kat that's impossible, he said he'd be back tomorrow morning."

"I don't think it's impossible, but, Mer...I need to tell you something, and Jenna is listening to me right now, and she's going to hear my entire conversation with you."

"Kathleen, don't force her to change her mind...I understand...I told you the other night...she probably realized how dark and twisty and messed up I can be."

"Meredith," Kathleen said softly, "when you were here, the last afternoon, you and Derek spent some time alone with Kerry in the nursery...before you left..."

"Yes...we did..." Meredith said.

"There's a baby monitor there, you may not have known about..." she paused, and there was a quiet pause at the other end as well, "Meredith...Jenna heard your conversation..."

The soft gasp at least told Kathleen Meredith was still listening, "and she found out about your baby..."

"Oh God," Meredith repeated, "oh god..."

"She's been very upset, and I did not know about this until this afternoon, when Mom called me...because Jenna was very upset over the email she wrote to you...and your reply. Meredith, she's listening to me and she did not change her mind...she was heartbroken for you and Derek...and she felt the best thing was to keep a distance...she thought she had imposed so much on you...about the baby...and the shower...and she couldn't understand how you could be so strong...to have gone through all that...and then...be here with Kerry Beatrice," all four women were crying, "but you see, she doesn't know you like I do...and Mom...and Derek...and we know how strong you are...and how this baby...your goddaughter helped you to heal and take away some of that sadness...and if you let me...I will talk to her, and share with her some of the things that made me believe my brother had finally found the woman that was going to make him happy, the woman that from the moment I met her, I knew I wanted as my sister..."

"Kathleen," Meredith said, through her broken voice, "tell her...it's ok...it is...I understand...I do...and I'm sorry we didn't tell her...tell her why...I didn't want anything to get in the way of the joy of a new baby...please tell her...I'm sorry she found out that way..."

"Do you think," Kathleen said, "you would like to tell her that?"

"Does she want to talk to me?"

"Desperately, I bet."

"If she wants to talk to me," Meredith said and within seconds heard her Jenna's voice.

"Mer..."Jenna's broken voice was all she needed to hear to accept the genuine motives of her actions, "I'm sorry...so sorry...all these days...I hurt you...and I thought...I was doing the right thing..."

"I hurt you too," Meredith sniffled, "by not telling you, but Jenna, ask Kathleen and Mom...I didn't want you to be unhappy...and you were when you found out...and I only wanted you to enjoy the time before the baby came...without anything but the joy of her birth...I swear... that's the only reason...you can ask them..."

"I don't have to," Jenna said, "I believe you...and Meredith...I'm sorry about what I wrote...I didn't mean that...I didn't...but I thought I was helping you...so you wouldn't feel more sadness...and Derek he's so angry and disappointed in me," she said, "and now he won't pick up the phone...I guess he's paying me back, cause I didn't..."

"Jenna," Meredith said surprising them both, "you finally managed it..."

"What..."

"You're gonna make Mom have to decide which one of us is the worse water faucet..."

"You're joking," Jenna said, "I've been through hell the past week and hurt you and my brother...and you're joking."

"I think," Meredith told her, "there's been enough tears...don't you?"

"Yes," Jenna admitted, "but I bet I'd win...since I've been slobbering everyday...and even Mom thought I'd gone of the deep end."

Kathleen sat next to her mother, and Carolyn placed her hand on her daughter's cheek, and held back the tears as she whispered, "I love you Kathleen, so much...my first precious little one."

Kathleen let her mother hug her. "Mom, I hope one day, my kids will love me just half as much as I love you."

"They already do," Carolyn smiled at her, and kissed her cheek. "And I even bet...they won't mind when they hear...you're just like Mom..."

"Nothing..." Kathleen told her mother, "makes me prouder than that...I can't do better than you."

"Let's not tell your sisters," Carolyn teased, and she closed her eyes, and said silently, "Irish...look after Derek. I need for him to be ok, and keep that Irish temper under control."

"Mer," Jenna asked, "do you think Derek will talk to me...that he'll forgive me?"

"If Kathleen is right, you're going to see him before I do...and I'm sure...he will."

"He sounded so disappointed in the message he left me, but most of all Mer...and I could hear it in his voice...it was because of you, because I'd hurt you...and I'm so sorry..."

"Jenna," Meredith said, "please stop crying, I still have to work and I can't walk around with puffy eyes which is what's going to happen if I keep crying too, and we're ok...you didn't change your mind...I thought I did something wrong."

"Oh no," Jenna said, and the tears began again, as the two women thousands of miles apart forgot about the last few days, and the bond fated long ago, allowed their hearts to heal within seconds of talking to each other, as they spoke about the tiny soul responsible for bringing joy to their lives. "I promise, I will, I'll get the photos loaded tonight. They're all done...I just have to hit upload."

"Jenna," Meredith said, "will you do something for me..."

"Yes..."

"You don't know what it is," Meredith laughed.

"Whatever it is...yes..."

"Will you give my goddaughter a kiss from me...tell her I've missed listening to her baby sounds..."

"Oh Mer..." Jenna cried, "yes...I'll give her so many kisses from you..."

"Thank you," Meredith said, "for understanding...what it means to me...to us..."

"You've forgiven me?"

"There was nothing to forgive..."

"My brother," Jenna said, "is very lucky...that the wicked witch cheated on him..." and the four women's laugher filled the air of their perspective locations.

"Jenna," Meredith said, "if Derek does turns up there...tell him... we talked right away...and tell him I love him and I'm fine...wait, don't tell him I'm fine...he won't believe me...you can ask Kathleen about that and Mom...bur tell him...that I said I trust him and I love him."

Meredith spoke to Kathleen again and to Carolyn and felt like the weight of the world was lifted off her shoulders, her heart almost carefree...but for her concern for her husband, and if Kathleen was right and he was on his way to New York, it would be hours before she could talk to him. She called him and left him a message, but he wouldn't hear it until he'd confronted Jenna; his battery dead, the charger in Seattle.

It was after eleven when Derek approached his sister's front door, exhausted and angry. He'd had over five hours to think about this, and nothing made sense, except Jenna had crossed the line and he didn't care why, only that she'd hurt Meredith, and he kept thinking to his own doubts and insecurities the night of their engagement, when he'd walked away from her, and they'd almost lost it all, again, and how after she revealed to him all about her past, the childhood that was worse than he'd ever imagined, he'd picked up the phone and called his mother and sister and Mark, and vowed that she would never feel the absence of family again, and with just a few sentences Jenna had made her believe she was unworthy, and he spent five hours brooding and allowing his temper to fester, and he was not about to forgive her for the emotional pain she'd created.

"Derek," Jane opened the door, "I don't think the family is expecting you."

"Where is my sister?" he answered gruffly, the days growth of beard fitting his dark mood.

"Is Meredith with you?" Jane asked good naturedly.

"Just me Jane. Please get Jenna, I still have to find a hotel for the night."

"Surely," Jane commented, "you'll be staying..."

"Not tonight," he answered and walked toward the den. "Please let Rob and Jenna know I need to speak with them."

"He's on call tonight," Jane offered, "first time since the baby was born...so..."

"Just get Jenna then," he interrupted, before she commented that his mother was there.

"Derek," Jenna said as she walked in the Den, and before she was able to utter a word she saw the harshness and anger and disappointment in his eyes and was rendered silent.

"I don't..." he pursed his lips, shaking his head slightly, "I can't understand...why...you would do what you did...why...you would write my wife an email...that was so insensitive and hurtful...why...you wouldn't bother to answer my calls...why you would purposely inflict so much pain on someone that has been nothing but kind to you and your family...why...you would choose to say things without thinking of the consequences..." his voice had become louder as he spoke, and upon hearing the first words spoken in anger, his mother had rushed to the den.

"Derek Christopher," Carolyn reprimanded, "you will cease with your tone right this minute."

"Have you any idea," he ignored his mother, his eyes, as he'd often thought of Meredith's, reflecting an impenetrable wall of steel, "do you even care...that every word you said...every night you didn't call only reminded her of the hell her childhood had been...you don't deserve to know any of this...but... I promised myself...the night I asked her to marry me...she would never lack family again...and now...you...without caring at all...are forcing me to keep us both away from here. Because...if she's not good enough for you...if she's not good enough to be your baby's godmother...then I'm not fit either to be her godfather...and you had no right," he sat down and broke down, and buried his face in hi hands.

Jenna only watched her brother, unable to react as she sank slowly to the couch, and then her heart broke when he spoke the words their father often did.

"Jenna Patricia," he mumbled, "you know better...I know you do...so I came here...because ...she's my life...and I've almost lost her twice...and now...after she fell in love with that baby...you pulled the rug out from under her again...just like I have...so many times...and she doesn't get a God damn break...where families are concerned..."

"Derek," his mother approached him, and sat next to him, motioning to his daughter to stay where she was, "sweetheart..." she placed her arms around him, "it's ok, everything's ok..."

"Ma," he said, "she's being so brave...she always has to be so brave...and trying to protect my feelings...when I'm the one that's supposed to that...I'm the one that should have anticipated this...the fist time she met Nancy...then brought her here...and now..."

"Derek," Carolyn said tenderly, lifting his face and forcing him to meet her eyes and tear stained face. "Jenna spoke to Meredith this afternoon...I was here."

"Why," he said, "if she couldn't return my call...why did she call her...why would you allow it..."

"We called her to find out your schedule, your sisters had left you messages..."

"I was on my way here..." Derek said, allowing his mother to put her arm around him.

"We know that now, though Kathleen thought that may be where you were heading."

"You spoke to Mer...is she ok? Ma...what did you say to her..."

"That I love her, and that I'm looking forward to seeing her for a day after Thanksgiving celebration."

"We're not coming," Derek stated.

"Derek," his sister said quietly, "I'm sorry..."

"What are you sorry for...that you asked us to be godparents?"

"Meredith," Jenna said after taking a deep breath, "she said...if you came here...to tell you right away that she knew...that we'd talked...and that she loves you, and that she was fine, but then...she said...you wouldn't believe her," Derek stared at his sister, without uttering a word, "so instead I should tell you that she trusts you and she loves you."

"Oh God," Derek said, and shook his head, "she's ok...you talked to her..."

"I apologized to her, for hurting her...and for hurting you...but Derek..." he saw his sisters shoulders shake before she began to sob, "I thought I was doing the right thing...so she wouldn't be so sad...so it wouldn't be so hard..."

"Why would you think," he asked her, "that letting her believe she wasn't good enough to be a godmother to Kerry...was the right thing..."

"Derek," his sister met his eyes, "I know...about your baby..."

Derek took a deep breath and closed his eyes, "she told you...when you called her?"

"No," Jenna shook her head, "I heard you...before you left...in the nursery...I heard you...the baby monitor was on...and I don't know...I don't know how she did it...how she could deal with Kerry and not break down..."

"Jen," Derek got up and went to his sister's side and hugged her, softening a bit, "we didn't want you to know...she didn't want you to know..."

"I know now..." his sister said, "and I'm so sorry...so sorry..." she said, and their embrace quickly began to unravel the misunderstandings that had led to the truth, and ultimately serve to strengthen their relationship.

"Your goddaughter," Carolyn said, "is going to be awake any second and want to be fed, she's not very patient. Jenna, I'm going to go see to her."

"Derek," his sister said, "would you like to feed her," she asked cautiously, uncertain of what his answer would be.

"I was going to find a hotel," he told her, "I didn't want to upset Ma..."

"You're leaving?"

"Will you let me stay?" he asked her.

"Yes," his sister said, "but only if you feed her...and burp her and change her...and we can call Meredith while she keeps us both up tonight," his sister said with deep emotions reflected in her voice.

"Oh Jenna," he said, "I'm sorry too..."

"No more apologies," Jenna told him, "Mer threatened me with the crying...so..."

"She was crying," Derek said, "but you said she's ok..."

"Derek," his sister said, "we were all crying," and as the night wore on, he'd hear the way the afternoon unfolded.

"I'm going to grab my bag and get a quick shower...so I can hold my goddaughter, without all the grime from traveling. Do you think I need to shave to hold her?"

"Her daddy doesn't shave all the time. I think she'll be fine."

"Mer," Derek said much later, as he held the baby and burped her, "did you get the photo?"

"She looks more beautiful than a few days ago. Is she heavier, can you tell?"

"Jenna, Mer wants to know if she's heavier..."

"She feels like it, she goes for her first month appointment next week, and I'll rely on the doctor's scale, though I can always weigh her at Nancy's office...she has a professional scale...mine isn't..."

"Mer," Derek said tenderly, "I think I've figured out why the baby's not sleeping..."

"Why?" his wife asked.

"When Jenna talks to you, she rambles...so Kerry is used to that...and she hears your voice since she has you on speaker phone, so we're going to try that tonight, aren't we princess," Derek cooed to the baby. "Starting right now," he said and placed the cordless on speaker and cradled the baby in his arms, "hey princess...your godmother is on the phone."

"Hi baby..." Meredith spoke softly, "Kerry...are you going to be a good girl for your Mommy and sleep tonight..."

"Mer," Derek smiled, "it's amazing she's actually turning her head toward your voice...just like the night we took care of her ..."

"Kerry Beatrice," Meredith said, and Jenna smiled at the same time she wiped away a tear, "I've missed you baby...I missed hearing about how you behaved all day...and listening to your small little whimpers...I'm so happy to talk to you tonight...and that your Uncle Derek is there..." the baby listened intently, "even if he didn't tell me where he was going," her voice remained quiet and calm, "and he has a lot of explaining to do...but you're listening...and your Mommy...and maybe even Granma...so I'll argue with him later...which may mean he'll volunteer to look after you all night just to keep from listening to a nagging wife..."

Jenna laughed, feeling good as for the first time in days when her heart wasn't weighed down with guilt and sadness for her brother and sister in law, as she began to understand what their mother and Kathleen had said. Meredith and Derek were each other's strength, and they had survived their heartache because they knew they could count on each other.

"Derek," Meredith said, "I already told Jenna, before you were in the room, that I don't want you taking the first flight out...you are not working tomorrow or Sunday, and I am...so I'd really like for you to stay...till the afternoon...and Derek...if you want to stay till Sunday..."

"I'm coming home tomorrow Meredith," he said, his tone a bit louder, and the baby turned her face and scrunched her nose.

"Mer," Jenna said, "she's mad at him...she's scrunching her nose, it's adorable...she only does it when she's mad, which is not often."

"Fine, blame me," Derek said, "we know better," his voice softened, don't we princess?"

They spent a few more minutes on the phone as Meredith had to return to the floor, and then brother and sister had another heart to heart talk, using quiet voices, as Kerry Beatrice listened and every so often turned her head toward her mother's voice, as she lay content and safely in her godfather's arms.

"Derek," Jenna said, "I understand...I do...why you didn't want to say anything, especially Meredith...and I want you to know how sorry I am..."

"Hey, didn't we say no more apologies..."

"I know...but I should have picked up on it, when we talked, your first trip here, you said you were keeping her secrets...and I questioned you about it and you said she'd tell me, when she was ready...I'm sorry I pushed it..."

"Jenna, you heard us...it would have been ok to ask then..."

"Mom said to wait, till she was ready..."

"She was right...to a point."

"But, I should have remembered...you did say how much she'd been through...that you'd almost been over...that's when you called Kathleen...I should have remembered that..."

"It's ok Jenna, things are ok."

"Derek...when you and Meredith are here...for the baptism...will you let me...can I ask her a special favor...between us...the three of us..."

"What?"

"No more secrets...you and I, we always kept each other's secrets...and I'll keep hers...but no more secrets that can hurt us..."

"You can ask her," he said, as he snuggled the baby close to him, "and I'm sure she will agree. Jenna, look, this little one's asleep..."

"She can't be..." Jenna said. "She hasn't fallen asleep before five in the morning all week."

"She is now," he said tenderly, kissing his niece gently on the forehead.

"Must be her godmother..." Jenna said, "Just like her first 19 days..."

"Mer will be happy to know that..."

"Let me take her," Jenna said, "I'll put her down..."

"Oh no," Derek said, "I'm going to look after her tonight."

"Derek..." Jenna's eyes were wide open, "we were joking..."

"I'm not," Derek said, "you need some sleep too, and she doesn't need to eat for another four hours...if she wakes up, I can give her a bottle...just like Meredith and I did...and you can feed her in the morning."

"You're serious."

"I am, and the bassinet is already in Ma's room," he referred to the guest room he and Meredith has used, "so you just need to roll it in here."

"You're not sleeping on the couch."

"It's a sofa bed," he told her, "and a pretty good from what I remember...it cost a fortune so your in laws could have a decent mattress."

"You remember that," his sister laughed.

"Sister number 3 from hell," he joked, "oh yeah..."

"We still make her sleep on it, if she stays here."

"Serves her right," he chuckled, causing the baby to shift and stretch a little.

"Derek...let me take her; you've been traveling all day."

"You heard my wife," he smiled, "I can't take the morning flight, so I can sleep in."

"Dream on," Jenna laughed, "the minute the girls know you're here..."

"I can't wait Jenna," Derek hugged her, "go get the bassinet so we can lay this one down for the night, and wait for her sisters to come and wake me," his sister did as he requested and both she and his mother returned with diapers and burp clothes and gave him instructions, as well as clean sheets for the sofa bed, which his mother insisted on helping with.

His sister, meanwhile, took her daughter from him and cuddled her close, and whispered, "I love you baby...and Mommy is so happy you got to talk to your godmother tonight and that her brother forgave her...you're lucky Kerry Beatrice, you're the luckiest baby in the world," she said, and her brother met her gaze and smiled, and he walked over and embraced his sister and goddaughter, "I love you Jenna...we love you Kerry...Meredith and I love you very much."

"Uncle D," he heard and grumbled, "Uncle Derek..." the other voice insisted, "where's Aunt Meredith?"

"Working," he said, and sat up to glance over at the sleeping baby and smiled, she'd slept through the night, even when he'd been on the phone with Meredith for about fifteen minutes in the middle of the night. This baby, he thought was definitely following the footsteps of his four sisters; being nosy, as conversation did not bother her.

"She let you come all by yourself," Meghan asked, making her uncle smile.

"She wanted to come," he explained, "but she said it was ok for me to come."

"How come you come back so soon?" Meghan asked.

"Meggie," Katie said, "don't be silly...that's cause he loves us..."

"I do love you," he said, "but even when I can't be here I love you a lot, and so does Aunt Meredith, and I had to be here for a special meeting," he tried to explain, so the girls would not associate visits with whether they were loved or not.

"Kid lessons," his sister stood on the doorway, "that was a good one...you're learning."

"Mommy," both girls ran to her, "soft voices," the both said, "Kerry is sleeping."

"She is," Jenna hugged her daughters, "she slept all night."

"That's cause Uncle D was here, cause he had a special meeting." Meghan said.

"I think you're right sweetie," Jenna agreed.

"Are you staying lots of days Uncle Derek," Katie asked.

"No Katie, I have to go back to work this afternoon, but we're going to be back for Kerry's baptism."

"Cause you're the godparents," Meghan said proudly, "see uncle D I remembered..."

"You sure did," he lifted them both onto the bed. "How about we sleep a little longer?"

"But, Aunty M isn't here to cuddle with," Meghan said, and he caught his sister's smile.

"How about you cuddle with me," Jenna offered.

"Mommy...but...Uncle D would get lonely cause Aunty M's not here...so I stay here...and cuddle with him, right Katie," she turned to her sister who nodded and yawned.

"Uncle Derek," Katie said, "your face is all scratchy like Daddy...I don't like it...I tell daddy all the time, but he says Mommy likes it...which is silly, cause it feels funny," she said, and his sister blushed.

"Kid lessons you said," Derek teased her.

"Bring my child to me," Jenna giggled, "when she wakes up."

"Bye Mommy," Meghan said, and Derek knew his morning sleep was over as the two little girls carried on a conversation about characters he was certain he'd one day have no choice but learn about, and closed his eyes and smiled as he listened to the story of Belle and some type of beast.

News traveled fast, and lunch became a festive occasion as all gathered at Jenna's, two missing sisters and brother in laws. Aunt Pat took him aside to speak with him, giving him, in her words the Cliff notes version of the godparent responsibilities he and Meredith were expected to know; and Kathleen for a totally different purpose, that resulted in a predictably emotional and heartwarming conversation.

Derek followed Meredith's advice and took a late afternoon flight that ended up being delayed several hours, so he stayed with the family till seven, and arrived in Seattle at midnight rather than eight in the evening.

Meredith walked up, or rather dragged herself to the nurse's station and leaned against the counter, it was nearing one in the morning and Derek had texted when the flight landed, so she was expecting a call from him to let her know he was home any minute, instead she felt the warmth of his breath on her neck as he circled her waist.

"What are you doing here," she turned to face him, and kissed him, earning several glares from the night shift staff, both at the counter and walking the halls.

"Uhmmm..." he said, "and I thought you'd be happy to see me..."

"I am," she smiled, but then just as quickly smacked the back of his head.

"What the hell was that for," he said rubbing the spot.

"Don't you ever...go away like that and not tell me..."

"I told you..."

"Derek...you did not tell me you were flying to New York."

"I said to trust me," he said, "you said you did..."

"You yelled at Jenna...and made her cry."

"She always cries...even when."

"You are not going to try..."

"Yes, I made her cry, but we cleared everything up...we did..."

"I know," she smiled at him, "and you have to give me some Cliff notes version of what I need to know for the baptism."

"I thought," he told her, "you've been working, but looks like you've spent all the time on the phone with annoying relatives," he knew she'd talked to his sister this evening, while she fed her daughter, the routine apparently back in place.

"Ass," she mouthed, and threw her hands around his shoulders and hugged him. "I love you...go home...get some sleep, I'll see you in the morning."

"I'm staying here," he said, "come find me."

"Dr. Shepherd," she teased him, "are you propositioning me?"

"Dr. Grey..." he teased back, "I believe...I'm too exhausted to..."

"Wanna bet," she smiled, and pulled him along with her to find an on-call room, where she would join him a few hours later, and just sleep.

"Derek," Meredith smiled, as she felt the warmth of his lips traveling slowly up and down her leg, "you're not getting away with it..."

"What..." he smiled at the sound of her soft moan, as his tongue continued to tease.

"We still have to talk about your trip...what happened..."

"More talking," he said, "we talked for two hours at the hospital last night," he said, referring to the conversation they'd had when she found a break around three in the morning.

"Derek..." she moaned softly again, "you're..."

"I thought you liked this," he teased, "me connecting the dots..."

"I love..." she paused, another not so quiet moan, "how you," a little louder, "connect the dots."

"Now," she said, much later, already early afternoon, "you need to feed me...I'm starving," he smiled at her, "for a home cooked breakfast, I've been living on cafeteria food two days."

"You like cafeteria food," he joked.

"Yeah, but I know Mom forced you to bring me a chocolate cake."

"I'll cook something for you," he agreed. "But...you wanted to talk to me?"

"You were right," she said, "we did talk through things last night, but there's something else I need to say..."

"Ok..."

"I had a lot of time to think, while you were gone...and I thought...after all we'd been through...the last time we broke up...and...how we almost didn't make it..."

"Meredith...you're...thinking about that..." he said, a hint of sadness in his voice.

"Derek..." she said softly, "then...you got me the lavender...remember...the first gift you ever got me...don't look at me like that...I'm not sad...I'm not...all of my life, I'd been expected to take care of myself, rely on no one...and since then, you'd done so many things...for me...and we joke about McDreamy being back...and how long that took...and I meant it then Derek...you were back, in my eyes, almost immediately...nine days...remember..." he nodded. "Then...we had to go through..." she took a deep breath, and both understood without words, "then we found how much we meant to each other...and you became my strength my one unshakeable foundation...and each day...each moment you made me love you more...then...our wedding...and every day since then...in my eyes McDreamy had been back for so long...I even told Cristina that this week..."

"You told her McDreamy was back..."

"Well," she smiled at him, her hand caressing his face, "she said McDreamy was almost completely back, and I told her he was back...completely...but I was wrong," she locked gazes with him, and his eyes darkened and lowered.

"Don't look away from me," she said, and kissed him. "I had no idea...that you could ever do more in my eyes to show me how much you love me...but...you did...you placed everything aside...and flew thousands of miles to make something right...to understand what had gone wrong...because you knew I was unhappy...and sad...and even though I tried to hide it from you...you knew my heart was breaking...and you went to make it right...and I'm sorry...you had to go through that...because I know how much you were hurting too...but...no one has ever done that for me...no one has ever done for me what you do...no one has ever loved me the way you do...and ..." her voice broke.

"Nobody will ever love you as much as I do...Meredith...this lifetime and beyond."

"I love you Derek...I don't know if you realize, if you truly know what you mean to me...what it means to have you in my life, and know I will never be alone...and I need you to know that no one will ever love you more, my soul mate," she began, and as she spoke each description, a kiss followed, "my husband...my knight in shining armor...my prince charming...and one day," she paused, "when all those dreams you made me believe in ...when those dreams are fulfilled...our children's daddy," she said, and it would be hours before they remembered any desire but the passion of lovers long ago destined to be together for a lifetime.