(Shattered...) Dreams Fulfilled

"Thirteen Days..."

"Kathleen, I think you're right, I have plenty of time to shop, I shouldn't buy the first thing I see anyway, I'll regret it later," she said, "Meredith, will you come with me, there is something I'd like to buy for you and Derek...and maybe you can help give me some ideas...what you like or need."

"Ailene, I think you should buy those baby outfits, they are adorable...and if you don't mind, I'd like to get this and send it to Jenna, from Derek and I...for his godchild."

Ailene Shepherd felt her heart fill with sadness as she watched Meredith pick up two different outfits, one blue, one pink, and briefly closed her eyes as if to gather courage before she walked to the register and provided her credit card and smiled as the baby gifts were being wrapped.

"Kathleen, do you mind paying for this," Ailene gave her a credit card and the pink outfit she'd held, "and bringing the packages with you?"

"Yes, Mom...you two go ahead," she said as Ailene touched Meredith's arm and gently guided her outside, and began a quiet reflective stroll through the ancient streets of Venice, and along the way Meredith felt an arm link with hers and was led inside through the doors of a small church they came upon unexpectedly.

Mrs. Shepherd pushed open the worn wooden door and immediately to her right found the expected small bowl with holy water, and dipped the two fingers that would then make the sign of the cross, and continued to the front of the small church where both she and Meredith sat on the old and worn wooden pews. Ailene kneeled and began her silent conversation with God, and as she had everyday since he'd been gone, shared part of her day with her husband.

Meredith watched her and at some point heard her whisper, "Irish...I need you...right now...help me...help me say the right thing," and she felt tears gather as she understood the reason for the words, and she too began a silent conversation.

"I don't come here very often, but you already know that, but I've been asking for your help a lot lately...and thank you...because Kathleen was right...you've been answering...you've helped me...and Derek...we both have needed you lately. I think maybe it's ok I talk to you, and to Mom...I have to trust she's listening to me too...and well, could you ever imagine that I'd be here...talking to you...with my mother in law," she smiled softly, "I guess that is silly, of course you knew this could happen, she's wonderful....thank you for that...I really sweated it...the family thing...but...she likes me...I think she really likes me".

Ailene continued her prayers interwoven with the conversation with her husband, but the hard wooden kneeler soon took its toll and she sat on the pew, her eyes closed in meditation, her hands folded and every so often she'd touch the charm bracelet.

"Mom, can you believe it...me...here in Church...with my future mother in law ...that was a surprise even for me. Mom...I have to tell you something, and please...don't be angry with me... I don't want you to be disappointed in me again...but I had to tell him...Derek had to understand, after what happened...the day...when I drowned...and you left...since you died," she continued silently and wiped away her tears, "he had to know I'd never leave him, and he knows...that I loved you...and I didn't tell anyone, all these years Mom...I didn't tell anyone," she sniffled

Ailene heard her, and it broke her heart, and she was filled with guilt, thinking it all had to do with what had just happened, unaware of the depth of communication Meredith engaged in with her mother. "Dear Lord, please...guide me to say the right words to her, and later to Derek...to comfort them."

"Mom...I guess you're around all the time, if I talk to you and have these long conversations with you, don't really know how that works, but we're in Church, in Venice and Derek's mom, she's here with me. I'm getting married tomorrow, Mom...you met Derek...and he's been wonderful...he has...he really understands me and the career, I know you were worried about that but he does, and tomorrow Mom...I wish you were here...on my wedding day...but Mom...maybe...you will...and I'd like...it would be so special if can get a whiff of you on my wedding day," she wiped away more tears and heard her mother in law's sigh and sniffles.

"Mom...I really like her...she's been so nice to me...and right now...I could really use a hug...being in the baby store was hard...but I thought of you...and I went in...you would have faced it head on...so I did...but it hurts...Mom...it still hurts so much...to know I couldn't have her...and Ailene, I just met her, Derek surprised me with bringing everyone here, and she seems to care about me...and I hope she's around for a long time...because I could really use someone like her... Mommy...she'll never replace you...but maybe you can let me know...somehow...that you won't mind...if one day I call her Mom..."

Both women sat in companionable silence, neither feeling they could interrupt the other.

Meredith took a deep breath..."God I hope she's listening to me...and between the two of you there may be a way I can get some answers."

"Irish...help me out here...we can't just sit here ignoring the silence, knowing there's something that needs to be said...but I'm not quite sure if I may have misinterpreted things...so I need your help here...give me some time of clue...you're good at that love, and I really need one now," a bittersweet smile on her lips, as she raised her hand and her index finger wiped a tear away.

"Mom, just one more thing...I think Ailene, that's her name...she just realized what happened...about me losing the baby...I was going to tell her, when I told her about the dream...that dream helped me Mom...I like to think you helped make that happen, me having that dream...about Brianna, isn't she beautiful Mom...my little girl, she has a beautiful soul," she said and felt the lump in her throat. "Please..." she whispered softly, but in the old church nave where only a handful were present, the whispers echoed lightly and her mother in law heard her, "please...Mom...look after her...God...please take care of my baby..."

"Oh my God," Meredith heard and then felt the comforting and nurturing arms around her, "oh sweetheart," she said "I'm sorry...so sorry," and both women knew their prayers had been answered.

Meredith believed her mother answered, and in that embrace felt Ellis' presence and that one day she wouldn't be mad if she called this gentle loving woman that held her in her arms Mom; and Ailene felt God had answered her prayers, about what to say...and her love...was with her, she was sure of it, when she had heard Meredith's soft whispers about the baby.

The two women embraced, both giving in to the sadness in their hearts, and Meredith's broken sobs were muffled in Ailene Shepherd's arms.

"Oh...sweetheart," she said, as she held her tighter, "I'm sorry...so sorry... I did not realize it sooner, and I hurt you...today... I hurt you...I'm so sorry."

"It's ok..." she said, "you didn't know," she said with a broken voice.

"When did it happen...Meredith...when did you lose the baby?"

"Meredith whispered, "thirteen days...just thirteen days..."

"Meredith...honey, I wish I had been there...now, I know...why you both needed my hugs...your sadness..."

"You're here now...I always meant to tell you...when I saw you...not on the phone."

Meredith felt her slightly pull away, and saw Ailene's tears, and then she felt her hand on her face wipe away her tears and kissed her cheek, "how are you now? Is everything ok, you've been to the doctor?"

"I'm ok, and Derek...he's...he made it bearable, always looking out for me, when I know how much it would have meant to him."

"Meredith, I wish I had known...but...I only mean that so I could have helped you...sweetheart, I swear I'd have flown to be with you...just to give you a hug...and we could have avoided me hurting you today...having to remember...and then...making you look at those ..."

"Kathleen was there..."

"That's why she went out there? It had already happened," his mother questioned.

"No...that was...that was another reason...one I'm not proud of...but I guess this is a good place...to tell you...and ask that you forgive me...for hurting him..."

"It is a good place, but...whatever it was...you don't have to tell me...if you don't want to...all I need to know, because I see it...is how much the two of you love each other, and I know you belong together."

"Can...can I tell you...it feels like I should...so all of this is behind us...tomorrow..."

"Of course you can tell me..." Ailene said, and put her arms around her, as Meredith began to tell her a condensed version of why Kathleen had flown to see Derek, basically commenting they'd been on/off in their relationship and how their latest break up had affected them, including him asking Rose to dinner and subsequent events, without going into many details as she had with Kathleen, but trying to be objective in how she relayed the story.

"I'm going to have a long talk with that boy...he truly is brainless as his sisters call him, and you too I suppose," she said not very pleased with him.

"Ailene...no...please...I've told you...I'm just as much responsible for all our misunderstandings."

"That does not mean he should have asked another woman to dinner after an argument with you."

Meredith laughed softly, "he's going to be very upset if you take my side on this too, he said Kathleen was biased."

"Of course I'm going to take your side, he behaved like an ass. Oh my...we're in church," she laughed, "I guess God will forgive me...using that language in Church."

"Lightning hasn't struck, and I'm here...I think he is forgiving..."

"You had a terrible childhood, and I don't mean we've been gossiping about you...just some of what Derek has said to me...and he of all people should have been more understanding..."

"Ailene, truly...don't say anything...we've worked through...at least we've talked about so many things...to get where we are today...don't scold him...just ...give him that hug he needs too...he's been wonderful and supportive...and please...just be there."

"You love him...very much..."

"I do...and this last month...and then the baby..." she said softly, "we were forced to talk to each other about so many feelings...all that is important to us...and we've...we've forgiven each other, and I wanted you to know about the baby...the miscarriage, because...there's a dream...a really beautiful dream I had...afterwards...that I need to share with you and Kathleen together."

"You don't want to tell me ...now..."

"That's what she asked me," Meredith smiled.

"I'll let you in on a secret, no matter how much they say...take that back, when they are compared to me..." she smiled, "they all have some of my traits, and are very much like their mother."

"That's what she said earlier," Meredith told her.

They sat in silence, unlike minutes earlier their sadness filled hearts now were warmed by the ever growing ties that bind, the bonds of love and family, and an unexpected friendship between two women brought together by fate's design, each filling a need in the other's life. Meredith's void of a mother's nurturing love fulfilled by Ailene's lifetime of mothering and unconditional loving affection, a relationship and role model Meredith would cherish throughout the rest of her life.

Meredith reached for her mother in law's hand and felt her warmth, and whispered softly, "I'm thankful...you are in my life."

"Sweetheart, I'm thankful he found you...that you found each other...and for my new daughter."

"I'm not ready...not yet..." Meredith told her, "but...one day...I do want to call you Mom."

"That day, will make me very happy," she said and kissed her cheek, "do you think they've sent out a search party for us?"

"Not unless Derek found out we were missing."

"You are right about that," she laughed, "let's find our way back," she said getting up linking her arm with hers and walking up to the main altar where a lone crucifix looked down upon them and kneeled, "say a prayer with me," she said and Meredith kneeled beside her as her hand was held and Aline spoke quietly.

"Dear Lord, thank you for all your blessings...my children...their health...our family, I know he is with you, my Irish.. This is Meredith, but you already know that, my new daughter, watch over her and Derek, protect them, keep them from all harm and bless them...and one day, let them experience the joy of a healthy baby in their arms," and she turned to Meredith, and made the sign of he cross on her forehead, "in the name of the Father...and the Son...and the Holy Spirit."

"Amen," echoed the two voices.

"You...are determined...to make me a sentimental, bumbling crying fool..."

"I am determined to show you what a mother's love is all about...not that awful mother in law image that's out there."

"I don't think you have anything to worry about."

"I hope not..." she said, as they got up and walked around the church, "it's very odd you know, to find a Catholic Church in Italy...without the richness and opulence, especially here, but I found it to be just perfect for us today."

"It was," Meredith said, but stopped in front of a smaller chapel, "look, how beautiful," she said admiring an aging painting, a Madonna lovingly gazing at the child in her arms, two small angels looking over them, small candles dimly illuminating the almost hidden masterpiece, next to it an image of Mary and Joseph, a young Jesus at their side, and surprising herself she reached for a much used thin wooden wick and lit a candle.

"He wants kids..." she murmured softly, with her eyes closed, "the first time he mentioned it...he said...I want to marry you...have kids with you...build us a house and grow old with you...he wanted a lifetime."

"Pray for that..." Ailene told her as she put her arm around her waist.

Meredith smiled, "I did...for my dreams to come true."

"They will, Meredith...they will, and I'm praying I will get to enjoy seeing them fulfilled."

Meredith smiled and reached in her purse to get some bills she placed in the offering box by the candles.

"Honey, people don't usually leave bills..." Ailene told her.

"I know...but I don't come here that often," she smiled.

"It's a beautiful painting, isn't it, such treasures in all these churches," Ailene commented, "and that statue with Jesus as a boy, it's beautiful, I like that it's a darker skinned child, much more realistic given where he was born."

"Do you go to church every Sunday?" Meredith asked, "I mean Derek's not..."

"Don't get me started on that boy..." she said louder than intended, and they heard someone shushing them from the other side of the church, and both giggled.

"We were just told to be quiet...with an Italian shush..." Meredith giggled again.

"Time to go," Ailene said, as she looked at the older lady dressed in black, "hey," she whispered to Meredith, "you weren't asking about me going to church because that woman reminded you of me?"

"Oh...no," she laughed and covered her mouth, "not at all."

They had now reached the entrance, and in age Old Catholic tradition Ailene reached into the holy water and made the sign of the cross getting ready to exit the church, but first made the sign of the cross on Meredith's forehead.

"I know you are not Catholic, but He does not care about those things, God Bless you Meredith."

"Thank you," Meredith said before reaching out to embrace the woman, a tight embrace that each knew was the beginning of a life long relationship, "thank you for being here."

They talked all the way back to the hotel, each word, each sentiment, sometimes of melancholy and sadness, but overall each of them joyous at the new found relationship.

"Ailene, is your name Irish?"

"I have no idea...actually, that is not true it may have been Scottish, which follows along the story that an ancestor was Scottish, very romantic actually...and she was kidnapped and brought to Ireland."

"That's romantic..." Meredith laughed.

"Absolutely, don't you read romance novels?"

"No..."

"I didn't think so, but yes...it's supposed to be romantic...which actually it was...if you believe the stories we've had handed down to us, and the name has been around for while in my family. I know before me, there was a great grandmother who my father adored, even though he was about five when she died, but he always remembered her as a sly old lady that made him laugh and had the best hugs and cakes."

"Uhmmm....fitting namesake."

"Maybe."

"How did you guess, earlier, about...the baby?"

"The look in your eyes. Meredith I am truly sorry you had to go through that today."

"It's ok...really...it is...Derek and I...we've had to deal with it...and it's good, that you know...but...does it bother you...I mean, that we've been together..."

"Meredith Grey," she laughed, "are you asking me if I mind that you've been sleeping with my son out of wedlock."

"Of all the things I expected...this conversation, with you...was never one of them."

"I'm just full of surprises..."

"You certainly are...the cyber net grandmother."

"You have to be on top of kids nowadays....know what they are doing."

"Ailene...your kids...I mean, Kathleen went on about how when she was getting married...they couldn't tell you..."

"Oh that silly child, as if I didn't know they were living together for months before they got married."

"You know," she giggled, "that...they think you don't..."

"Honey, I had five children to raise alone...I had to at least try to be strict...even if I looked the other way many a times..."

"They'd be in for a surprise," Meredith smiled.

"Maybe...just maybe...it's time to let her in on that...what do you think?"

"Can I be there?" Meredith laughed.

"I'll have to think about it...see how it can be worked in to the conversation."

Meredith was surprised by the vibration in her purse and reached for the blackberry, "it's Derek, I totally forgot about this, he's left me three messages."

"I may need to get one of those...it's going to be hell having to look for internet cafés while I'm here for two weeks, it was bad enough I had to leave the phone behind, though the grandkids thought I should just get text messages, but I draw the line somewhere, do you realize how expensive it can get with those text messages."

"That's why you get unlimited texting and family plans."

"That works for families of five Meredith, we have them coming out of our ears," she laughed. Kathleen and Kevin ended up with a $ 900.00 dollar bill one month, till they put an end to it."

"That is true..." Merdith agreed.

"What does he want?"

"See for yourself."

-where are you why aren't you responding
-with your mom
-I know but what are u doing
-spending time with your mom others off somewhere
-ur with mom alone

"Meredith, can I reply?"

"Of course."

-drk dear she is with mom alone
-mom ur typing
-I can do that
-where's Meredith
-here

-ur letting my mom look at ur messages
-yes
-what if I wrote something personal
-I would not have shown her
-don't worry dear, she's very discreet
-Mom...Meredith...
-stp being a prude dear

"He's going to kill me," Meredith giggled.

"I get the feeling you can get away with just about anything right now."

"He can too," Meredith smiled and typed her next personal message.

-I love you
-I love you too Mom
-you ass
-yeah...figured that'd come up soon
-we're almost at hotel
-alone
-yes the two of us
-see you soon
-ok
-Meredith
-yes
-I love you
-me too
-miss you in my arms
-don't tease Derek
-payback

"Meredith, would you like to stop here," Ailene said as they approached a café at St. Mark's Square, "maybe grab a light snack...by that I mean one of those chocolate pastries," she said pointing to the window display.

"I'd love that, would you like to sit outside?"

"Yes...as long as those pigeons stay on their end of the square."

Meredith laughed, "I told Derek, the first day we were here, I did not understand why people would want to pose with them."

The waiter came over and they ordered cappuccinos and two different pastries, and it was as each was reaching over the other's plate to taste the pastries that Derek came across them and smiled.