(Shattered...) Dreams Fulfilled

Lover's Quarrel Part 2

Lexie had pulled in Meredith's driveway a couple of hours earlier, and both sat quietly for several minutes before they got out of the car and walked towards house.

Meredith stopped before reaching the front door and uncharacteristically sat on the wooden porch swing. "Here's the key, you can go in if you'd like."

"Would you like company?"

She didn't answer her question directly, but instead said, "this has been here since I was a little girl, but it's never used...it was broken...I thought...and now..."

"You fixed it," Lexie acknowledged in a attempt to maintain the flow of conversation.

"No," she stated, her voice and expression lackluster "Thatcher did..." she paused, lost in her own thoughts, as Lexie sat next to her. "One night, he was here for dinner," her voice cracked a little, "with your Mom...and... on the way out, he made a comment that it was still here, and I told him it was never used because it was broken... and he took out a pin he had placed there... to keep it from moving... so I wouldn't catch my fingers."

Lexie didn't know what to say, what Meredith needed or wanted to hear, so instead she remained silent keeping her company, and unbeknownst to both, solidifying silent and newly forming bonds of trust and friendship.

Meredith spoke softly, "You know, I hated you."

"I know... you made it very clear... I just couldn't understand why, and I kept trying and only made it worse..."

The swing rocked gently, and every so often, when they paused in conversation, only the sounds of the evening could be heard, as two strangers bound by blood allowed the other moments of reflection.

"You weren't very tactful, the way you told me... in the middle of an emergency, and then when I saw you again..."

"Oh, yeah....you hated me then... the look on your face with Der...Dr. Shepherd said I was the girl in the bar... I had no idea what he was talking about but you knew... and the look on your face... oh yeah... you hated me..."

"Yeah.... I did...and him."

"Meredith, it hadn't meant anything...I flirted with him, he was at the bar, but he... he didn't take me up on my offer to buy him a drink."

"I know... he's told me...and it wasn't your fault..." she paused, mildly annoyed at her thoughts after all that had happened today, but still said, "and he's too good looking for his own good, so I get it...that you'd hit on him."

"Oh, God...I'm sorry, really, I'm never going to live that down...I can understand you'd hate me... I'd hate you too if you did that with my boyfriend..."

"It's ok Lexie.. it wasn't your fault, it was how he told me... but, that part...well, we kind of cleared it up... but it doesn't matter now."

"You know...that night...I was there after Mom's... funeral...and all I wanted to do was forget what happened... but Meredith, he turned me down."

"I was not very nice to you... after that.... I resented you... a lot... you'd had what I didn't... you'd grown up with my father... had a wonderful childhood, and I was left without him...he had preferred to have you in his life... and forgot all about me...for over twenty years...forgot all about me."

"I'm sorry...so sorry...and I do understand... but... for me...when I found out about you...when Mom told us...I really wanted to meet you... to get to now you... and then Mom died...and everything just came ...just fell apart... and I thought...it would be so nice to know my sister..."

"Well... it's taken me a lot longer than that...but I realized you weren't to blame... it wasn't your fault...so I've been trying... trying to get to know you...and I'm sorry about what you're going through with him right now."

"Thank you...for that chance...Meredith...Mom really liked you...and she wanted us to get to know each other."

"Last night... and tonight... it's ... it's nice having you around....let's go in...I think I can handle going in now..."

They both got up, and Meredith unlocked the front door, grateful the "brothel" was quiet that night.

"Would you like me to make something for us to eat...I mean...I know...know you're not good in the kitchen...I don't know... I mean, it was great... you cooked this morning...and that was good, really good... but I've heard... you're not really... you don't like to cook..."

For the first time that night, there was a bit of lightness in the air, as Meredith chuckled slightly..."please...tell me I don't ramble like that..."

"Oh...no...well... yeah... you... you kind of do..."

"Something else we have in common...I guess...other... than the thing with the hands..."

"Yeah... I guess...we do... I'll get us something to eat," Lexie, said as they walked towards the kitchen.

Meredith had used the time talking to Lexie on the swing to compose herself, as she knew the minute she walked in the kitchen she'd be faced with the object of discord that had brought a seemingly bright and shiny day to a disastrous end, and she wasn't sure how she was going to handle that.

The floor plan was still laid out on top of the table, an offending object she felt staring back at her, mocking her, which was ridiculous, but she wasn't really feeling calm or logical this evening. She walked over and stood looking at the plans of the "dream" house he wanted to build her, and felt all the emotions of the day rushing back and suffocating her.

"Oh ... oh...God," she said in a broken sob, as she sat down at the table, placed her hands on the sketch and broke down sobbing.

Lexie was at her side almost immediately and though hesitant at first, placed her arms around her shoulders and held her while she cried.

"He...he...promised ... he promised... he would always be there....and he left...he left...and...kissed her...and asked her out... and he...broke his promise...and he left...
he didn't wait for me...he lied...he didn't wait... and he didn't think I was worth waiting for...and I'm not the love of his life...not ...not ...if he left me..."

"Meredith...take a deep breath...you need to breath...and...it's going to be ok... I know it is... he loves you...I know he does...the way he looks at you...he loves you... he told me...that he loves you...that he wants a life with you..."

"He...he..." she continued to cry, but no longer sobbed, "he says all those things... Lexie...beautiful things... and he ... he doesn't mean them..."

"It's ok... it's ok... Meredith...do you want...to tell me...tell me... what happened...do you want to talk about it?" she encouraged.

"He knows Lexie, he knows I'm not good at relationships...that I'm scared... that I didn't want to lose him... I told him...and he brings house plans....and I want to trust him... I do... and there's kids rooms..." she paused as she traced her hand over the various rooms in the house... "french doors....a porch...all those things... I'm afraid to want them...but I do...I think I do... but I want them with him...only with him... but he can't give me the time I need....and he kissed a nurse and asked her out..."

"Meredith...I'm kind of really good at interpreting rambling...but you're kind of going to have to tell me everything....cause... in bits an pieces... like this... it doesn't really make sense."

Dinner preparation was forgotten as Lexie sat down next to Meredith, and offered the light encouragement she needed to allow someone else in her life, to take a chance on trusting someone else, this time, for the first time, family.

"I don't do this you know...the family thing... the trust thing...the talking thing... I don't talk when I get scared – I don't talk when bad things happen."

"I can do the family thing...Mer...Mom was really good with the family thing...and the talking...and I know she's glad that I'm here for you tonight."