(Shattered...) Dreams Fulfilled

Thank you...sex?

Meredith was feeling emotional, hungry, completely exhausted and cranky as she scrubbed out. The last thirty six hours had been grueling, and she wanted nothing more than pretend none of it had happened. Her session with Dr. Wyatt continued to create havoc with her emotions, she'd not eaten since lunch and the last round of surgeries had been brutally long. But, worst of it all, she wanted her husband and couldn't have him, and that made her cranky. Her body craved him, even if all she could muster energy for was sleep. She needed him, just a whiff of him would be enough right now to be able to start all over again, and she looked at her watch, in less than six hours time.

She walked out of the scrub room, dragging her feet as she made her way to the resident's lounge longing to call Derek, but it was almost midnight and he had an early morning surgery. It would still be another half hour before she could wrap everything up and go home, and stopped first at the nurses station to write on the patient's chart, the full weight of her body somewhat slumped against the counter, and then her Blackberry vibrated.

-Miss you
-Me too (she responded immediately as tears gathered, and brought her index finger to her eyes to keep them from falling)
-on your way home?
-30 min
-hey no tears
-easy for you to say (she texted, uncaring that she was admitting to her vulnerability)
-can I make it better
-only if you were here

"How about this?" Derek had quietly walked up behind her and circled her waist, while nuzzling her neck.

"You're here," she whispered before she turned in his arms and embraced him, but not before he saw the tears.

"I'm here," he said simply, as though there was no other place he could possibly be.

"You were watching me?"

"I was," he said, "I've been waiting for you over an hour."

"I'm sorry, you should be at home, you have to be here early tomorrow."

"I'm exactly where I need to be...where I want to be," he smiled, lifting her chin and kissing her softly.

"Thank you," she said almost inaudibly.

"Hey," he whispered softly, and brushed her tears away, "what's this?"

"How did you know," she sniffled, "I needed you...desperately..."

"Uhmmm...maybe because I needed you too."

"You're mocking me or humoring me," she said softly, and kissed his lips, oblivious and uncaring of the speculative glances from a couple of nurses that actually smiled as they commented to each other about the couple's public affection, "and you're hovering."

"I love you."

"You're hovering," she whispered and held him closely.

"I'm not..." he attempted to argue, and reaching for her hand led them to the resident's lounge.

"Derek," she said when they were alone and the door closed behind them, "you, hovering...it's..."

"Meredith..."

"It's ok..." she smiled, as her eyes misted, "if you hover when I'm clingy...and emotional...and cranky."

"Mer..."

"I did need you, and wanted to call you, but you should be sleeping, what are you doing here?"

"Being a good husband..." he smiled, cupping her face, "hovering...over his clingy...cranky wife."

"It was a bad day today...yesterday...emotional..."

"I know," he said and kissed her softly and then walked over to the small couch and pulled her down on his lap. "I hated that I couldn't stay with you after your therapy session."

"But you were there," she snuggled against him and rested her head on the crook of his shoulder, "you were with me...until I got paged."

"I'll be there," he caressed her back, "whenever you need me."

"It helped you know," she said quietly, holding his hand in hers, "to finally talk about those things, about that day..."

"You were such a brave little girl, and I'm so proud of you...all you've accomplished, the woman you became all on your own..."

"Not always..." she tried to joke, but his expression became serious, saddened and instinctively realized he was thinking about implying she was a whore, telling her he didn't want to breathe for her, walking away from her.

"Hey," he said very seriously, and his next words confirmed she'd been right about his reaction, "don't ever undermine yourself...it's my shame...that I've let you down, and failed you so many times...my words, my actions, because, Meredith, you are truly extraordinary," he said deep emotion etched in every word. "And you, allowing me to be there with Dr. Wyatt and share that painful past, that horror you survived humbles me and makes me want to be that much better, need to be that much better ...for you...the extraordinary woman...I love...the woman I can't imagine my life without."

"You," she said, "are not being fair," she cried softly, "you know I'm still an emotional mess," she clung to him, embraced him, breathed in the very essence of him, "even Dr. Cameron told us that yesterday when I had my appointment, probably another couple of weeks before my HCG levels are normal."

"You are not an emotional mess," he whispered. "You are the strongest, most amazing woman I know...and courageous, and you have survived things that most adults don't have the strength to do, and yet, you are ...compassionate and caring...and now you are vulnerable and..."

"Mushy, emotional, sentimental sap...clingy," she smiled, needing to shift the conversation, "cranky and hungry."

"That's quite a list," he went along with her, "we're going to need to start keeping track of all these..."

"You're not disagreeing with me..." she smiled softly, and kissed his lips.

"We really are...mushy and sentimental saps..." he told her.

"Derek," she said as their gazes met, "I love you...so much...thank you...for being here."

"Hey," he cupped her face and caressed her cheek tenderly, "I needed you, just as much."

"I'm ok," she assured him, recognizing his need to comfort her. The appointment with Dr. Cameron the day before and today with Dr. Wyatt, Derek knew had taken their toll on her emotions.

"I just needed to be here...tonight...for both of us."

"I needed you too," she said, and nuzzled his neck, as he wrapped his arms tightly around her, "and...all the emotional...stuff..."

"Meredith..."

"Dr. Cameron said all should be back to normal...soon...you heard him, you were there."

"I know," he kissed her temple, "and you...being ok is all I care about."

"I am, Derek..." she whispered, "you've made that possible...you...taking care of me...letting me grieve even when it hurt you and you put your feelings aside. I know it hasn't been easy...and I've been an emotional rollercoaster still..."

"It's been a lot, and your hormones still aren't back to normal, Meredith, you still need to take it easy."

"Derek," she said softly, "Dr. Cameron said I'm fine...physically, and you know, the best part about our talk with him... I trust him, that there's no reason to be worried at all, being pregnant again...our next baby...that all should be ok."

"Meredith," he said, "you know...we don't have..."

"Ok...don't you dare..." she jumped in.

"What..." he said surprised at her tone.

"Don't you dare talk to me about you being ready to give up on that dream..."

"I wasn't going to," he smiled indulgently.

"Then what?" she said a bit annoyed.

"We don't have to think about that for now...we'll know, when the time is right."

"Oh..."

"Yes, oh..." he teased her, "you're using your quota for the day."

"Derek," she smiled and kissed him softly, "next time..."

"Yes," he smiled upon her lips. There was no need to explain what the next time meant to them both.

"You can hover all you want...even when I'll probably want to kill you."

"I'm going to hover and take care of you," he smiled, touching her face gently, marveling at the emotional strength of this woman he adored, "and our baby...and you're going to want to kill me?"

"Probably," she laughed softly, "just remember it won't be me talking, but hormones."

"I'll keep that in mind," he kissed her.

"I love you, Derek."

"I love you too Meredith."

"Are you going to feed me?"

"As a matter of fact," he taunted. "I figured you'd be cranky without food, since I knew you'd been in surgery over four hours, and did not want to deal with that when you got home so..."

"Ass."

"I love you too," he laughed.

"What did you bring me?" she snuggled closer to him.

"Fruit and salad," he said.

"Seriously..." she raised an eyebrow at him, "you didn't really...right?"

"Pizza," he admitted, and pointed to the nearby table, "and your favorite chocolate cake."

"How can I ever thank you," she teased him as she lay her hand on his thigh and began massaging her way higher when he caught her hand.

"Don't start what you can't finish," he told her, his voice husky with desire at the mere thought of making love to her.

"What..." she smiled saucily, "I can't thank my husband for being hovery and sexy...and feeding me..."

"Sex," he smiled, his lips on hers, "thank me," nibbling, biting playfully, "at home...let's go...now..."

"Derek," she whispered in a low seductive tone before she devoured his lips, "what if I don't want to wait?"