(Shattered...) Dreams Fulfilled

Our first...Godchild's Baptism... - Part 1

"I'm sorry," Derek's sob was heartbreaking, "please...I can't lose her...no...no..." he cried in his sleep, "she can't be gone...let me make it up to her...please...not like Daddy...don't take her...I need her...I need her..."

"Derek," Meredith spoke softly, hoping not to disturb Kerry, attempting to shake him awake, "Derek... wake up..." she had to say it several times before rousing him from the deep disturbing nightmare.

"Oh...God," Derek finally took several deep breaths and buried his face in his hands.

"Derek," Meredith said quietly, "talk to me...please...you had a nightmare..."

"Uhmm...it's fine...I'm fine...sleep...go back to sleep..."

"No," she said tenderly, "you had a bad nightmare...you were sobbing...Derek..."

"You're ok..." he said, touching her, cupping her face, "you're ok..."

"I'm ok...but you're not."

Derek took a deep breath and closed his eyes, "I love you...Meredith...I love you so much...please...don't ever doubt it...I'd do anything..."

"Hey," Meredith said tenderly, her hand caressing his cheek, "what's this about...tell me please... we said we'd talk to each other...remember..."

"Bad dream," he said, "just a bad dream."

"Tell me about it," she insisted, reaching for both his hands, "please..."

"It's..." he shook his head, "no...just...let's sleep..."

"Derek," she said softly, "you can't become me..."

"I'm...what..." he asked, still shook up by his nightmare.

"No avoiding...no dark and twisty..."

"I'm fine..."

"You're not," she told him. "And ...you're not going to lose me...ok...never...I'm not going to let you get rid of me," she said trying to joke with him, "you're stuck...for always," and instead he buried his face in her neck and she felt him shake uncontrollably.

"You...you were...gone..." he pursed his lips, "I was fighting...and I told him...he couldn't do this to me...even though it was my fault..."

"Who were you fighting..." she soothed.

"God," he said, and finally looked at her, "I begged him...like that night....I begged him...to make sure you were ok...that if I had to give you up I would....but that he'd keep you safe...that you wouldn't feel the way you said...the way you told me...that he had to make you understand...you had so much to live for...you were so special...that you didn't mean it...you didn't want to join your mother..."

"Derek," Meredith was stunned, realizing he was referring to the night she'd said those words to him; a night of fears that turned to despair; of hope in the miracle of a tiny baby that wasn't meant to be, and later faith in the future that was yet to come, unfolding before her in the most spiritual of gifts...dreams of their future blessings.

"Derek," she held his face in her hands, she was determined to be his strength. "I didn't meant that...you know I didn't...Derek...I love you...I did then...that night...Derek...as much as we were heartbroken...Derek...I loved you...we made it...Derek...we can't go back..."

"This year...all that's happened," he pursed his lips, "and to hear you talk this way...and taking care of the girls...Kerry...and thinking of babies...and I...it...I thought I'd lost you...forever...and you seem happy...here with family..."

"Nancy's right," Meredith smiled at him, "the brooding has to stop...Derek...we found each other...forever...of course I'm happy...how can I not be happy?"

"It's hard..." he took a deep breath, "sometimes...if feels...I don't deserve you..."

"Derek," she brushed his lips, tenderly, "I never believed, never dreamed of soul mates and finding the love of my life...but...I did...we found each other...and we deserve to be happy...both of us," her lips remained on his, his hands safely in hers. "In different ways...neither of us had a gentle and kind childhood...my mom...your dad...and now...somehow we found each other," she kissed him, her lips ever so softly on his, willing him to accept all the love reserved for him; this one man that had loved and accepted her; the one and only man she had ever truly loved, "and I believe...I do...Derek... God answered our prayers," she breathed softly, "even when neither of us was praying...because we didn't believe...or remember that there was anyone listening..."

"Until you..." Derek cupped her face, eyes glistening, kissing her tenderly, "till I almost lost you...I'd forgotten to pray...I'd forgotten God could listen...and then...when I thought you'd given up on me ...that you'd never be able to forgive me...and called Kathleen...I begged and begged for Him to hear me...for Him to listen..."

"He answered," Meredith told him, "that's all that matters now...you told me you'd put the past behind you and Mark tonight...so have we...all these months but let's make it real...no more looking back...we've learned from it...now let's enjoy ..."

"Our many blessings..." he whispered.

"Our many blessings..." she agreed, "and all the ones to come..."

"I love you," Derek told her, his kiss deepening, her hunger for him never sated, but now was not a moment of passion, but of tender assurances as they fell asleep in each other's gentle embrace; it had always been about the emotions, the depth of their love for each other, the depth of feelings never before experienced, and as such succumbed to slumber.

Later, in the middle of the night, after she'd risen to feed and change their goddaughter, lovers destined to be together for this lifetime gave in to their unquenchable passion.

"Derek," Meredith said in the early pre-dawn morning hours, before sunrise filled the room with light, "last night..." she smiled, pressing her body into his, "was..."

"Amazing..." he nuzzled her neck, softly biting and enticing.

"Yeah...you were..." she felt his erection, "still are...apparently..."

"Getting lots of practice," he said, "for quiet...candy time," she giggled.

"She's slept most of the night," Meredith smiled, lifting her head to take a look at the baby, laying peacefully asleep in the heirloom bassinet, "think we'll be so lucky...our kids sleeping all night?"

"We'll have to make sure Granma teaches us all her tricks," he kissed her shoulder, "to make babies sleep," his hand caressing the soft skin of her stomach, working their way to her breast, as a moan escaped her and he smiled, nuzzling her neck again and whispering, "think we have time..."

"For a quickie..." Meredith giggled, "maybe...if we hurry..."

"Uhmmm..." Derek quickly discarded her top, "not a quickie...need more than..."

"You had plenty last night," Meredith laughed softly, as he'd expertly and without wasting time lay on top of her, "a quickie is just about all we'll have time for...before we hear the pitter patter and knocks on our door...and a little one sucking her entire hand ready to scream if she's not fed."

"Mer," Derek said, " listen..."

"Uhmm..." she snuggled into him, "what..."

"Quiet," he wanted to laugh as he and Meredith heard the conversation outside their door.

"Doctor Cris," Meghan argued, "I gots to knock...I gets cuddle time with Aunty M and Uncle D...and they gots to wake up and take care of my baby sister..."

"I think," Cristina looked at the determined three year old, "your baby sister may have kept them up all night and they need to sleep..."

"Cause of why?" Meghan questioned.

"Well," Cristina said, "because she's a baby and if she cried and didn't sleep, that means your Uncle Derek and Aunt Meredith..."

"You can say that really good," Meghan interrupted her and smiled, "but I still little and can't say Merwerdith...you gots real pretty hair...just like Mommy..."

"Thank you," Cristina was taken aback, as the little girl reached up and touched her curls.

"Welcome," Meghan smiled, "can we waked them up now?"

"You know," Cristina told her, "I'm really hungry...and I don't remember where the kitchen is...do you think you could show me?"

"I take you," Meghan said, "but I not help you cook...ok...I gots to gets back up here and cuddle with Aunty M and Uncle D..."

Cristina smiled at the youngster; she'd seen Meredith's happiness over the last day with Derek's family and allowed herself a momentary sentimental moment, hoping one day Meredith and Derek would enjoy having a little kid as adorable as Meghan. But, for now, they were going to owe her, big time, for allowing them additional morning sex time.

"Who is that person," Meredith giggled, "volunteering to spend time with Meghan."

"It won't last long." Derek bit her neck playfully, "Meghan's more persistent, she'll be back here in minutes."

"Probably," Meredith laughed and smiled as she heard the cooing from the bassinet, "just as our goddaughter...even if she's been very well behaved thus far..."

"I'll get her," Derek kissed Meredith's naked shoulder.

"I'll do it," Meredith told him, attempting to rise.

"Stay in bed," He pushed her back, kissing her while caressing her cheek, "we're going to get company soon enough."

"Fine," she agreed, and became a bit lost in thought; pleased about their earlier conversation, they'd made it through a difficult year; "she needs to get to know you..."

"She does know me," Derek said cockily as he smiled at the baby who became serious. "Don't you Kerry...you know your brainless godfather," and the baby smiled and cooed, as he picked her up and cuddled her. "Oh...boy...we've got one hell of stinky diaper," and wrinkled her nose, "lucky I love you...cause ...if your Mommy was here, I'd hand you over to her."

"Derek," Meredith told him, "I can take her..."

"Listen to that," Derek spoke to the baby who was trying to find follow her godmother's voice, "Aunty M doesn't want to share you...even when I offer to change your stinky diaper," and with that he continued to talk to the beautiful newborn as he changed her and brought her to his wife.

"You did good," Meredith smiled at him, "morning baby...you were such a good girl last night...only woke me up twice, though once wasn't really you...but your godfather...does he think I wasn't listening to him...showing you the snowflakes at night...and telling you all about your little angel...your baby cousin Brianna..."

"I love you," Derek leaned into her, "Meredith Grey..."

"And I love you...we both do," and he knew she spoke of their baby Angel, "for always."

"Aunty M," the knock came expectedly, "Uncle D...we gots to cuddle, and Mommy and Daddy says no candy in the morning...so you can't have candy now...not before we eats breakfast..."

"Our kids," Derek smiled, "are going to be trained..."

"Really," Meredith teased him "to do what? Cook... their own breakfast?"

"No...smartass..." he teased back, "not to leave their rooms till we get them..."

"Derek," Meredith smacked him playfully, "that's mean, and I'm not going to let you..."

"You're going to spoil them rotten," he chuckled. "God help me..."

"God help us both," Meredith kissed him, "you're going to be a pushover..."

"I can't wait," Derek smiled at her, cupping her face, before one last kiss.

"Neither can I," Meredith snuggled Kerry, and watched Derek walk to the door, "for you to have baby cousins...but not yet...ok...we're going to enjoy you for now...but soon..."

"Aunty M," Meghan had her hand on her tiny hip, just like her mother. "Granma says breakfast is ready soon...and I gots to tell you we gots a real busy day," the little girl went on about the conversation with her grandmother and Cristina, making Meredith smile and feel rather sentimental that her person was trying to fit into the family.

Before long, four little girls were cuddled together in their aunt and uncle's bed, all but the tiniest one asleep, delighting her godparents with her cooing and gurgles.

"Mer," Lexie knocked softly on their door, "Carolyn says breakfast is ready."

"Come in," Meredith responded, and when her sister walked in both exchanged smiles.

"Need any help?" Lexie asked her sister.

"Maybe," Derek smirked, teasing Meredith, "you can help Mom in the kitchen...cause Mer...won't be much help there..."

"Jerk," Meredith ignored him.

"Mer," Lexie walked over to her, "can I hold her?"

"Kerry," Meredith responded to Lexie's request, "what do you say... there's someone that wants to hold you," the baby's gaze was locked with hers, "she's my sister...and you have big sisters...just like Lexie does," Meredith continued to talk to the baby before placing her in Lexie's arms.

"She's beautiful," Lexie smiled, "Mer...so tiny..."

"Not so tiny," Meredith told her, "she's really a little piglet...almost eleven pounds...she needs to go on a diet pretty soon," the baby whimpered. Meredith cooed to her, "oh...I'm sorry...I didn't mean that...you can eat all you want...yes, you can..."

"Mer," Lexie found her sister's gaze, "you're going to be an amazing mom..."

"You think," Meredith's eyes watered, "not too dark and twisty..."

"Just perfect," Lexie said, "don't you agree Kerry," the baby smiled, "your godmother is going to be just perfect as a mommy..."

"Aunt Merdith," Katie rubbed her eyes, and said excitedly, "you gonna have a baby...Meggie wake up..."

"I sleepy..." Meghan buried herself in the comforter.

"Aunt Merdith is gonna have a baby," the three adults just looked at each other.

"Aunty M," Meghan sat up quickly, "you gots a baby in your tummy?"

"No," Meredith said, "I don't...Lexie was just talking about one day...when Uncle Derek and I have a baby...but not yet sweetie," she ran her fingers through Meghan's curls.

"Oh..." Meghan said, "so when do you gets a baby in your tummy?"

"We don't know," Derek answered.

"How come?" Katie asked, "Mommy knew she was gonna have a baby..."

"Yes," Derek said, "because Kerry was already in her tummy..."

"Uncle Derek," Katie told him, "I mean...Meggie was little and Mommy tolds Aunty Maggie she wanted to another baby...do you and Aunt Meredith wanna have a baby?"

"Yes," Meredith said, "we do...but it takes a little time..."

"How long?" Katie asked.

"Morning Uncle Derek," Emma chose that moment to come awake, "Aunt Meredith..."

"Good morning Emma," Derek said, "you had a long nap there..."

"I was tired," Emma smiled at him, "and it's gonna be a long day..."

"It sure is," Derek told her.

"Emma," Meghan got her attention, "Uncle D and Aunty M are gonna have a baby..."

"You are," Emma's eyes twinkled, "when?"

"Not yet sweetie," Meredith kissed her cheek, "we were just talking that one day...we'll have a baby who's going to have three beautiful cousins to help me watch the baby..."

"Oh...that's disappointing," Emma said, "I thought it was going to be soon..."

"Aunt Merdith," Katie pondered, "your baby is gonna have lots more cousins...cause Kerry had everyone taking here of her yesterday..."

"Yes," Meredith smiled, "but I was talking about three beautiful little girls right here."

"Aunty M," Meghan said, the small pout making her look just like Jenna, and making the adults want to laugh, "you forgots my baby sister...don't you want Kerry to look after your baby?"

"Of course I do..." Meredith told the girls, "but, I think when Uncle Derek and I have a baby, Kerry is still going to be too little to help me...but you can."

"And Katie and Emma...and we can get on a big airplane and come visit you..." Meghan continued, "right Aunty M...and Mommy has to come...cause of we're little...and she gots to bring Kerry...and Aunty Kat...and," she cuddled the favorite stuffed animal, "we can't forget Mr. Bear," the list went on, as Derek reached for Meredith's hand and brought it to his lips, no words needed as their gazes spoke volumes, each committing to making baby dreams come true...in the foreseeable future.

"Well," Rob joked as his two oldest daughters and Emma walked in the kitchen, "look at that...I thought I'd lost my girls...couldn't find you anywhere."

"Daddy," Meghan ran to him as did Katie, "you're silly...we was not lost...we was cuddling with Aunt M and Uncle D..." she giggled as he lifted her in the air and tickled her before picking up Katie as well and saying something that made her laugh.

"Uncle Rob," Emma said, "you're making us breakfast?"

"I sure am," Rob put down Katie and lifted his petite niece in his arms, "and I'm making your very favorites...just for you Emma..."

"I love you Uncle Rob," the little girl hugged him, "even if you don't make my favorite."

"Eggs benedict," Rob hugged her, "coming up..."

"Daddy," Meghan said, "and we gets pancakes...

"You sure do," Rob worked his way familiarly around Carolyn's kitchen, "we have a little piglet," his daughters and niece giggled, "for Meghan...since Kerry can't eat yet...and a turkey for Katie..."

"Cause of it's Thank...it's turkey day again..." Meghan exclaimed.

"And..." Rob laughed and joked as his wife walked in, "penguins for Mommy..."

"Daddy," Katie laugh, "you got to make penguins for Aunty Merdith cause she's having a baby...and maybe one for Aunty Katie...so she can change her mind...cause Emma wants a baby sister...right Emma..."

"You're pregnant," echoed five adult voices, Carolyn and Lexie remained silent. Then, various forms of, "you didn't say anything..."

"Meredith," Jenna approached her, smiling and teary eyed, "you're..."

"No," Meredith just shook her head, hugging the baby to her, "but...thinking of it."

"Oh God..." Jenna shook her head, and kissed Kerry's cheek, "baby...your sisters are going to make Mommy get lots of gray hairs...but you're not," the baby gurgled happily, "are you...you're going to be Mommy's little angel," and Kerry smiled back at her mother and godmother, "and you can't be hungry yet...Mommy's going to help Daddy cook breakfast ok..." the baby talked back, content in Meredith's arms.

"Granma," Emma explained, "Aunt Meredith isn't having a baby now...she's having a baby next year," she said convincingly, "we were just talking about that...and that we're going to go to Seattle and help her take care of our baby cousin."

"It's gotta be a baby girl, right Aunt Merdith,"Katie asked, "cause baby boys when you change their diapers they get you wet all over...that's what happened to Jenni," she giggled, "when she was changing cousin Gracie's baby boy..."

"She will never forget that," Carolyn laughed, "and it was three years ago."

"Aunty Merdith," Katie said, "you have a girl...ok..."

"Girls," Carolyn interrupted, "it doesn't matter...if you have baby cousins that are boys or girls...because every little baby is special..."

"Granma," Emma smiled, "but Mommy said we need to get some boy cousins...cause there's lots more girls..."

"She was joking I'm sure," Carolyn walked by and hugged her granddaughter, "because your Mommy has three girls she loves very very much..."

"I know Granma," she said, her language making Cristina think some kids weren't too bad, "and she won't budge...even though I ask her every day...she said no more babies...that she's going to enjoy her nieces and nephews...but, you know Granma, if she had one more baby and it's a boy...she'd have three girls and three boys..."

"I think" Derek said, "she just means she's getting too old to have more babies..."

"You," Cristina chuckled, and shook her head, "did not just say that."

"What..." Derek said, "she's smart...aren't you Emma...you know mommies usually have babies when they're younger."

"My Mommy is not old," Emma sniffled, "she's beautiful...and she loves you...and you're being mean," the usually mature girl searched for her grandmother's comfort.

"You're right sweetheart," Carolyn glared at Derek, as she sat down and placed the child on her lap, "your Mommy is all those things...and I know if she were to have another baby it would make her very happy...but, I think she and your Daddy are very happy with their five babies...just like your Granpa and I were..."

"Granma," Emma asked her, "if Granpa didn't go to Heaven...you think you would have more babies?"

"You know what," Carolyn hugged Emma tightly, "your Aunt Jenna was five years old when Granpa went to Heaven...and we knew she was always going to be our baby...just like I think your Mommy and Daddy know you're their baby..."

"Granma," Emma asked, too wise oftentimes for her young years, "but...my Daddy won't go to heaven...when he's young...like Granpa...right?"

"I think," Carolyn worded her answer carefully, "God had a very special job for Granpa and that's why he had him go to Heaven much earlier than I pray your Daddy will..."

"How," Cristina leaned over to Mark, "is it possible he's so brainless when Mama Shep is so smart?"

"I need a drink," Mark said.

"Try this," Cristina poured more black coffee in his cup, "for now."

Breakfast took its natural course when there are three chatty granddaughters under the age of eight and somewhat unruly adults around the table.

"Grey," Mark smiled at her, "you scared the hell out of me..."

"Granma," Meghan said immediately, mouth full with pancakes.

"I know sweetie," Carolyn acknowledged, "he's not supposed to say that...so he doesn't get anything else to drink today, not even the champagne he bought."

"Mrs. Shepherd," Mark whined.

"Man up ..." Cristina told him, "I had to read fairy tales yesterday."

"Doctor Cris," Katie said, "you was really good reading stories...will you read one after we finish breakfast?"

"Walked right into that one," Mark mumbled.

"Just you wait..." Cristina retorted.

"Doctor Mark," Emma said, "why did Aunt Meredith scare you?"

"Yes," Jenna taunted, "why did Meredith scare you?"

"It's grown up...stuff," Mark said, and continued eating.

"You means," Katie asked him, "like having s-e-x when you're not supposed to cause it's too early in the morning and you only get once piece of candy after school?"

"Carolyn," an unexpected voice, as the kitchen door opened, alerted them to company, "I cannot believe what I'm hearing...you have a three year old at the table..."

"Mary," Carolyn said with a deadpan expression, "it's good to see you too..."

"Can you believe your sister kept me from coming here for breakfast this morning, the nerve of her..." the newly arrived woman complained.

"My sister?" Carolyn raised an eyebrow.

"Hell yes," Mary replied, "she's all yours when she's being a pain in the ass."

"Oh my goodness..." Katie put her hand to her mouth, "Granma...that's real bad..."

"Granma," Meghan said, as she continued chewing, "that's two," she put up two fingers, "bad words...we gonna run out of soap..."

"For the love of all that's holy," the newly arrived woman, obviously Carolyn's older sister, laughed, "can you imagine if you'd bought stock in Palmolive years ago?"

"Aunt Mary," Jenna smiled, "want to have breakfast?"

"Of course I do," her aunt hugged her, "Pat's a horrible cook...and we've been driving for over an hour in the snow..."

"Aunt Mary," Emma defended, "she's a really good pie maker..."

"Yes," Mary agreed, "but...I can cook lots of other things..."

"You make the bestest cookies," Emma agreed, "and Granma makes the bestest chocolate chip pancakes..."

"My Daddy," Meghan said, "makes the bestest bestest piggy pancakes..."

"And penguins," Emma added, "like mommies walking like penguins before they have a baby."

"What is all this talk about animals," Carolyn's sister walked to the cupboard to grab plates, cups and utensils and placed two new settings on the table.

"You have no idea," Mark said, "but spend the night...you'll learn about roaring lions..."

"You," Mary laughed, "are still a man..." she interrupted herself. "I see...Carolyn...you may be right," and neither sister said anything else. "Now, where are your manners, I've been here three minutes and nobody thinks to introduce me to the newest member of the family."

"Aunt Mary," Emma said, "but you already met Kerry...remember...you were at Aunt Jenna's and you held the baby..."

"Carolyn," Mary said, "too smart for their own good..."

"Tell me about it," Derek mumbled.

"Except of course," Mary walked to Meredith and hugged her, "your husband...who is
still...as his sisters say...rather brainless..." and the baby smiled. "Well, what do you know...even the littlest Maloney agrees..."

"She's not Maloney," Rob said taunting her.

"Thank God she has our genes," Mary dismissed his comment, "of course she is."

"Mary," Carolyn warned, "behave."

"Meredith," Mary smiled at her, "I can't tell you how glad I am to meet you...and so sorry I could not make it here the last visits, Carolyn kept me away...so did that troublemaking nun...thinking I'd be overwhelming...which I don't understand why, if you can deal with Patricia, I'm a piece of cake," and all the adults except Meredith, Cristina and Lexie laughed.

"Aunty M," Meghan remembered her obsession, "does we get s-e-x now...please...you said we could...in the morning..."

The kitchen became suddenly silent as an older man walked in the room and quietly walked to the table. "Mary, honey, what are you teaching the little ones so early in the morning. If you wanted s-e-x you could have told me, I'm always willing to oblige."

"Uncle Frank," Katie asked him, "you had candy this morning too?"

"Candy..." Mary said and looked around, and could barely control her laughter, and instead chose to glare at Derek, "you told them it's candy."

"Hey..." Frank, her husband said, "not too far off the mark..."

"Don't look at me," Derek said defensively, "it wasn't me...it was Maggie."

"Aunty M," Meghan insisted, "does we get the candy now?"

"Yes," Meredith said, having no idea what was going on. "Derek...would you..."

"Yes," he agreed. "Meghan, when we finish breakfast, you can have the candy we brought ou from Seattle."

"This," Mary laughed, "I have got to hear...s-e-x and candy...and roaring lions..."

"Oh God," Meredith hugged the baby closer, "here it comes..."

"Meredith," Mary said, "whatever they've told you about me...probably this one," she pointed to Mark, "is probably not true."

"It was all nice," Meredith rambled, "everyone said...very nice things, well...except, you know...it doesn't make sense...anything of what they said...Mom...you were putting me on...again...just like with the son in law..."

"Oh...Derek..." his aunt smiled, "finally...you got it right...Meredith, there is definitely a son in law...son of a ...but, that's another story..."

"Mark," Meredith looked at him, glaringly, "you...are in hot water...good thing you were Derek's best man already cause now..."

"That's not fair," Mark argued, "you said..."

"Well," Meredith said, "I can change my mind..."

"Shep," Mark said, "tell her...she can't change her mind..."

"Hey," Derek shrugged, "I didn't try to fool her," he kissed the top of the baby's head, the nosy baby that seemed to thrive around the various degrees of noise levels and tones, getting perfect training for the years to come.

"You," Meredith turned to her husband, smacking him playfully, "are a fraud..."

"Why me," Derek coked his head at her.

"Don't give me that Mcdreamy smile," Meredith told him, "it's not going to work this time...and you making me think she was the real Aunt Margaret...and that she was a prude...and we had to be careful not to talk about ...s-e-x..." she finished.

"Aunt Mary," Katie who as always followed the conversation when they'd have preferred she didn't, "you don't like candy?"

"Sweetie," Mary told her, "I love candy..."

"Just like me..." Katie said.

Mary, who'd sat down next to Meredith said, "hopefully not."

"No secrets Aunt Mary," Emma reminded her, just as her nieces always did.

"Don't let anyone kid you," she turned to Meredith again, "I'm the original slutty aunt."

Meredith met her gaze, momentarily quiet and then laughed, tears of laughter on her cheeks. "You know about that..."

"Honey," Mary put her hand over hers, "there's little we Maloney women don't know..."

"But...that was..." Meredith started to say.

"Kathleen's misconception," the older woman lifted an eyebrow.

"Well...I have to admit," Meredith said frankly, "maybe...there was a little truth...but," she put her index finger up, "I was not married!"

"Neither was I," Mary told her, and caressed her great niece's dark lovely newborn curls, "when I had my first little on the way..."

"Mary," Frank smiled at his wife adoringly, "don't make me look bad now...we have a new niece and she should have a good impression of us."

"Yes, dear," Mary smiled at him. "Derek, I understand you were not too happy with Frank being Carolyn's...." she paused for effect, "buddy..."

"You are an old witch..." Derek laughed.

"Oh no..." Meghan said, "no...no... Uncle D...I love Aunt Mary..."

"Meggie," Derek said, "I'm just kidding...she knows I'm joking..."

"Meggie," Mary said, "baby...there are only witches in stories...in very bad bad stories...and Uncle Derek got rid of her...of the only witch that will ever come near you...with all the fake red head and...will be in your fairy tale books..."

Meredith smiled, "is there anything, you don't know?"

"Maybe a handful of things," Mary looked at her sister, "my sisters are very protective of their daughters, especially the younger ones," she said, and Meredith clearly understood that the baby's loss had not been shared. "Meredith," Mary smiled at her sweetly, "sweetheart...welcome to the family...my sisters and my nieces were right...you are the one...the perfect one for him..."

"Thank you," Meredith leaned back into Derek's embrace, hardly any distance between them, as they sat on the bench along the windows. "He was the only one for me."

"Mommy," Meghan said, "Kerry is gonna be hungry really soon...she gots her hand in her mouth...so that means you gots to feed her...cause of Aunty M had bottles...and you and Daddy was gone lots and lots..."

"Out of the mouth of babes," Frank chuckled, "Rob, son...if you accept that now, it will make your life much easier...Derek," he continued, "learn from this...I understand, you've had a bit of foot in mouth syndrome."

"Mama Shep," Cristina said, "Shepherdsville would make a good reality show...you know...for the Disney Channel..."

"Why not Maloneyville?" Mary quipped.

"Nah..." Cristina smirked, "too tame..." and the whole room erupted in laughter, including the gurgles of the tiniest and most precious member of the family.

"I'm going to take my innocent daughter," Jenna took the baby from Meredith, "and feed her and make sure she naps...or she's going to be one cranky baby at the baptism..."

"She gonna hate the water," Meghan said, "right Daddy?"

"I think," Rob kissed his daughter, "it's a pretty safe bet Kerry will not like the water."

"Girls," Mary said, "Uncle Frank is going to take you sledding...before the snow melts."

"She thinks I'm young," Frank chuckled, "and can keep up with these youngsters."

"You can keep up with me," his wife smiled at him, and Derek reached for Meredith's hand.

"Mom and Dad," Derek whispered, "were a bit like that...teasing...and joking..."

"It's lovely," Meredith squeezed his hand back.

"Ok...girls," Mary said, "off with Uncle Frank...Mark...Derek...make sure he doesn't hurt his back. Rob, go with your wife, you've been ...just go with your wife," she said dismissively, making the married couple smile. "I've got to find out what all the zoo talk around here is about."

"Good luck," Mark chuckled. "Grey's very private."

"She's a Maloney now too," Mary told him, "she'll learn soon enough. Now, the two of you...Cristina and Lexie...tell me about yourselves."

"You mean," Cristina said, "you don't already know?"

"Hard core," Mary laughed, "that's what Pat said. Carolyn...they fall the hardest."

"They certainly do," Carolyn agreed, while Meredith smiled.

When the kitchen was back to its pre-breakfast status, the women helped Carolyn set things up for the post baptismal celebration. "Carolyn," Mary said, "stop fussing...that tablecloth is impeccably ironed...Meredith...she spent I don't know how long ironing it the first time you were visiting...and now...let it be Carolyn...it's beautiful as it is..."

"It's..." Carolyn said, momentarily overcome with emotions, "it's...my granddaughter's...baptism...and...I can fuss all I want," she just shook her head, while her sister was at her side immediately, hugging her.

"I'm sorry...Ailene," the sisters revered to the much loved Irish grandmother's name, "I am...I know you want it to be perfect...and it is," their eyes met, "and I know...you miss him...after all these years...I don't know how you do it...but your family is Blessed...so Blessed..."

"I know," Carolyn sniffled, giving in to vulnerability in front of others did not happen often. "I know," and Meredith's arms replaced Mary's.

"I love you Mom," Meredith hugged her mother in law, and marveled at the love this woman offered her, marveled at what she'd done to deserve her, and as very few times in her life, though they were becoming increasingly frequent now, felt the genuine affection of a motherly hug.

"I love you too sweetheart," Carolyn hugged Meredith back.

"Did you hear," Meredith whispered, "last night...did you..."

"I did," Carolyn took a deep breath, "my Irish..." she said first, "and the giggles of your angel..." and the women remained briefly in their embrace, and the others were equally sentimental, as the Shepherd's familial ties continued to grow.

Baptisms were always special Shepherd and Maloney family occasions; devoutly Catholic, the matriarchs ensured traditions and faith were passed on from generation to generation. The littlest Shepherd descendant was dressed in the same white baptismal gown all her cousins, aunts, her mother, her grandmother and her sisters had worn. Irish linen with fine handmade lace adorned the heirloom gown and bonnet once handcrafted by a loving grandmother awaiting the birth of her first grandchild.

"You look beautiful," Derek touched Meredith's face lovingly, kissing her softly.

"You look very handsome yourself," she told him, kissing him back.

"You're trying to flirt with me," he teased her, as he pulled her into him, "trying to talk me into another quickie..."

"Uhmm..." Meredith teased back, "I don't remember a quickie," she smiled thinking about their lovemaking, "must have been that hussy...Dr. Grey..."

"Uhmmm...maybe it was...she's always..."

"You better," Meredith narrowed her eyes at him, "think before you talk, Shepherd, you're not doing real well with that today," she said, and was engulfed in his embrace as their laughter echoed through the room.

"Mom...Dad..." Cristina and Lexie who were walking by their door laughed, and Cristina knocked on the door, "no candy..."

"Maggie is never going to live it down," Meredith laughed, and allowed herself to get lost in his kiss, his caresses.

"We," Derek said, "are never going to live this down," he said.

"I can see," she pressed herself against him, seductively, "and feel..."

"Tease..." he kissed her again, "not nice Mer..."

"Derek," she pulled away, "I really....really want you..."

"Mer..." he took a deep breath, "that's ...fuck...that's not making this any..."

"But...if you embarrass me with bed hair...in front of all our family and at church...you're dead..."

"You can brush your hair..." he raised an eyebrow playfully. "Before we go."

"Derek, Meredith," Carolyn knocked on their door, "we need to leave here in five minutes."

"She's lying," he chuckled.

"Derek...she doesn't lie..." Meredith defended his mother.

"Wanna bet?"

"No," she brushed his lips once more, "let me put lipstick on."

"Mer..." he reached for her and hugged her, "I love you..."

"I love you too..."

"And...I love...when you wear dresses, this is new...total turn on...your legs...just looking at them...make me want to..."

"Later," she smiled; she knew he'd like the dress, a deep shade of indigo that discreetly and elegantly emphasized her every curve, "much later..."

There were well over one hundred family members attending the private baptism ceremony scheduled for one o'clock and presided by Father Dennison, who was introduced to the godparents, who were technically not...but rather Christian witnesses.

"Dear Friends...and family...as I feel like part of this family," Father Dennison began at the main entrance of the church, as he followed the age old tradition of the baptismal celebration beginning outside the main church doors symbolizing the child was not yet a member of the Church. "It give me such pleasure to be here today...as we welcome to the Christian Family of our Church the newest Shepherd grandchild, and I am honored to be officiating this very special ceremony as I have done for her mother and sisters...and all the Shepherd children," he continued with the prayers and in minutes had reached the altar where Kerry's parents, Meredith and Derek stood together, and the ceremony continued until it was time to approach the baptismal font, where Jenna placed the baby in her Aunt Patricia's arms, the official godmother in the catholic ceremony as Derek placed his hand on the small of Meredith's back; the priest continued by removing his purple stole ad replacing it with one in white.

"Derek, Meredith," the priest spoke quietly, breaking some of the rules, "place your right hands on the baby's shoulder," as this was reserved for official godparents, but neither Meredith or Derek technically qualified, hence Patricia was the official godmother, something recently accepted, as in the past members of orders could not act as such.

"I baptize you in the name of the Father," Father Dennison poured water over Kerry's head as she whimpered, and this would be repeated three times, "and of the Son," she cried loudly, "and of the Holy Spirit," she wailed.

"Oh oh..." Meghan's whisper to Carolyn in the front pew was heard by all, and laughter followed, "tolds you Granma...Kerry don't like cold water on her head..."

The baby was not to be appeased, and her screams grew louder, making Meredith's eyes water and shift from one foot to the other.

"Meredith," Father Dennison said smiling at the distraught godmother, "take her..."

"But..." Meredith said, "I'm ...I..."

"Child," Father Dennison smiled fondly at her, "you are her Godmother...for all intents and purposes," and Patricia placed the baby in Meredith's arms, forcing Derek to swallow past the lump in his throat; Rob kissed the top of Jenna's head as she cried; Patricia smiled at the old family friend and priest, and Kerry Beatrice now safely snuggled in her godmother's arms, was soothed by tender loving words and quieted down, as Father Dennison first placed a white cloth on her head and then Derek accepted and passed on to her parents the candle that was lit representing Christ as the "true light" and officially welcoming its newest member of the Catholic Family.

"Granma," Meghan whispered, as she sat on her grandmother's lap, Katie at her side, and Rob's mother smiling beside her, " we gets to go there now...Mommy said...and take photos with my baby sister..."

"Yes," Carolyn said, "you do, and we get to take pictures of this very special day for Kerry Beatrice."

"And her godparents... see Granma," Meghan smiled at her grandmother, the innocence of childhood making Carolyn smile and close her eyes briefly, "I learn real good...I remember...cause we're in baby Jesus' house...right Granma...and he loves all the little children...but we gets godparents...cause of God can't take care us of all the time...cause he gots lots and lots of children to take care of..."

"Granma," Emma who was sitting on her other side, reached for her grandmother's hand at that moment, "Granpa is happy...cause he's with us...I bet he's smiling...right now."

Carolyn never failed to be overcome by emotions by the unequaled sensitivity of this beautiful child, Kathleen's youngest, "yes, Emma, he is...happy and smiling right now."

Kathleen sniffled as she heard her daughter in the pew in front of her and Kevin kissed her cheek lovingly, as he squeezed her hand, "he's always with you Kathleen...always looking out for his princess," he used the name always used by her father, "and our children."

"He loved you," Kathleen said quietly, remembering the first day she'd brought Kevin home.

"I loved him too," Kevin said. "He let me take care of you...trusted me with you..."

"At three," Kathleen smiled, "he knew..."

"He knew..." Kevin smiled at her, "you'd be my soul mate."

"Like Mommy and Daddy," Kathleen said.

"Just like them," Kevin pulled Kathleen closer to him, and neither noticed the teary eyes on their daughter's faces as Allie and Laura exchanged smiles.

"We love you Granpa," Allie said silently, as she looked up to the altar, "thanks for looking out for us," and the peaceful joy and happiness of promises destined to be fulfilled were one more gift bestowed on the Shepherd family.

Carolyn Shepherd smiled and would forever believe she'd heard, "I love you Irish...I'm so proud of you...and our family," and then music filled the air, and the choir that had joined in earlier song was silent to hear the voice of an angel, as their granddaughter, Caroline Nicole, began a flawless rendition of the age old Shubert favorite at most any Catholic Ceremony, "Ave Maria... Gratia plena...Maria, gratia plena..."