(Shattered...) Dreams Fulfilled

"Our First..." - Part 4

Ma," Derek took off his jacket, "Nancy and Mike are taking over watching the kids," then discarded his gloves. "But, it's going to snow soon. Where's Mer?"

"The two little ones needed naps," Carolyn hugged him, "sweetheart, she's fine...but go on...join her."

"Ma," Derek hesitated, hugging her back and kissing her temple, "it's good to be home...thank you," he said and she detected the deep emotions.

"For what?" Carolyn asked.

"Accepting her...loving her..." Derek pursed his lips, "she's never had that, she's always waiting for people to walk away from her...and I did that too...I've failed her too."

"You never have to thank me for following my heart." Carolyn, touched his face gently. "Sweetheart, Meredith loves you. I knew that the first moment I met her...even before, just by talking to her...and Derek she doesn't feel you've failed her...the two of you have come such a long way, but don't forget what we spoke about when I visited you...you need to forgive yourself."

"I know," his lips pursed again, "but...I still can't forget that maybe...if I hadn't failed her...Ma...she was pregnant...weeks I made it so difficult for her...I was asking another woman out and she'd already forgiven me for walking away...that same day she came to me and ... I failed her," he lowered his head in shame. "Ma she was already pregnant... the stress all of it couldn't have been good for her...for the baby...I see her with Kerry and we would have been here with our own..."

"You listen to me," Carolyn said with a determined tone, "you cannot go back... and Meredith would be very upset if she realizes you still feel this way...just look at her now...you've both come such a long way; trust her Derek...she loves you and she's ok because of that...she's not dwelling on the past...she's looking forward to the future...don't keep beating yourself over things you can't change...Derek, look at her with Kerry...and the little ones...honey...believe me...believe your old mother...she knows things too..." she smiled at him, "not just the meddling nun..." she got him to smile. "Meredith is not looking at the past...she's thinking of the future...with you...with your family...my future grandchildren."

"You know things," he said nodding his head.

"I do..." she raised her chin and nodded. "She loves you...and knowing you love her, knowing you'll never let her down is what's making it possible for her to have faith in your future together...put the past behind...she doesn't blame you, and you have to stop blaming yourself...no more brooding Derek Christopher."

"Ma," Derek said, and paused to get his emotions in check, "I've missed you...our family...so much."

"I've missed you, sweetheart," Carolyn said sentimentally, her hand cupping his face gently, "we all have. It had been too long...since our family had been together ...and happy..."

"Ma," Derek hugged her, "I love you."

"Derek, I love you and I'm proud of you," then added," Dad would be proud too."

"Ma," Derek said, her answer never more important than at this moment, when he'd bared his doubts to her, "you really think so...he'd be proud...even when..."

"He was always proud of you...and I know...that's the way he would feel today."

"Thank you," Derek said, his eyes revealing the depth of his emotions.

"Go to her," Carolyn instructed, equally touched. "She's been on kid duty a long time."

Carolyn Shepherd smiled as he took the kitchen stairs to the second floor and then watched through the Dutch door window, her youngest daughter and husband holding hands and walking to the area where the kids were playing outside; Mark, Lexie and Cristina obediently watching over the younger kids, while Nancy and her husband walked up to them, shortly to be joined by Mark, all three making them endure the countless taunts and snickering over their extended absence.

Carolyn, on certain occasions, allowed football schedules to alter dinner time; this Friday was no exception, thus after a light luncheon at Pat's, all was on schedule for a six o'clock sit down dinner.

Derek approached the slightly ajar bedroom door and heard his wife's unmistakable snoring; he walked in and smiled as the sight before him, his three year old niece sleeping peacefully with her tiny arms hugging Meredith possessively; their goddaughter was another story as he slowly approached the bassinet close to Meredith and the almost six week old baby was alert and awake, fascinated by the bright colored toy that had been placed on the border of the fifty year old bassinet.

Gently he lifted the very contented baby from her bed and carefully wrapped the small blanket around her, and cuddling her close to him walked to the far corner of the room near the windows.

"Hey," he spoke in whispers, "Kerry...you're a very lucky little girl...you've got so many people that love you...and the most special Granma in the world...and I promised your Granpa," his voice cracked, "I'd always take care of your Mommy...but I don't think he heard me...I think he was already in Heaven...and I'm always going to take care of you...and your sisters," and the baby listened to his every word, and Derek was so enthralled and mesmerized by the tiny baby in his arm, that he didn't realize all but his voice was quiet in the room.

Jenna was surprised to find the bedroom door partially open and peeked in, and was immediately met with her sister in law's gaze and her finger raised to her lips, and she walked slowly to the bed and lay down on her brother's side, and listened to the loving gentle tone of her brother's voice as he spoke to her newborn daughter.

"You are going to be a very spoiled little girl," Derek continued, "because you have the best godmother in the world," he smiled as the baby cooed back, "you do...and you know, I'll tell you a secret...all your nosy aunts and your godmother keep saying I'm brainless," the baby smiled, "but I was smart enough not to let her get away...and she forgave me...even when she didn't have to...because I hurt her a lot..."

Meredith carefully transferred Meghan to her mother's arms, and was ready to get up from the bed, but Jenna's touch on her arm stopped her, and his sister shook her head, and said very quietly, "wait...let him..."

"Do you know...your Aunt Meredith...or your Aunty M... loves you so much...and when you're all grown up," he paced slowly backed and forced along the windows, "you'll understand what it means that she's the love of my life...and that's what I want for you...that you'll have someone you feel that way about...but, not till you're all grown up, but you have your Granma to teach you about that...loving someone for a lifetime," the baby smiled, "you're very picky aren't you," he smiled, "you like some words better than others," he kissed the baby's cheek, "but...back to your godmother...you'll also learn this word...she's extraordinary," the baby smiled and cooed, and he chuckled softly. Jenna squeezed Meredith's arm gently as the two women listened to the conversation; "yes...she is...and you're very smart by agreeing with me...and I want you to know that I think ...I know...you're going to be the very same way...you have brought such joy to us little one...and each moment she spends with you," his voice cracked, "each moment I spend with you...you've helped to heal our hearts...till one day...we have our own precious tiny treasure like you..." Derek smiled at the baby, his eyes glistening, "but you will always be our own very special little angel ..."

Jenna and Meredith sniffled, each wiping away at their tears; the slight movement and sound from the bed no longer unnoticed.

"Well," Derek smiled, "what do you know..." he shifted the baby so she was looking outside through the windows, "it's snowing...I think it's the very first time it's snowed since you were born...and I get to share that with you...look Kerry," he got closer to the window, "look at the snowflakes...each one is special and different....and beautiful, just like you..." the baby talked backed to him in her own precious way.

"That's right," Derek said, "you're a very smart little girl...and not brainless at all," the baby smiled, and Derek laughed softly, "yes...you are...and even smarter than nosy women...who think I haven't figured out you like that word..."

Meredith and Jenna exchanged glances, both giggling silently.

"Now...it's time to get your gift...your first Thanksgiving..."

Meredith leaped out of bed and walked over to him and wrapped her arms around him.

"Eavesdropping," he raised an eyebrow.

"Are you mad at me?" She asked, momentarily unsure.

"I love you," he said, brushing her lips with his, and then placed the baby in her arms. "Kerry," he spoke to the baby, "just remember you can't ever tell your Mommy she's not my favorite...but you are..."

Jenna's soft laugh made him smile, and he went to grab a small bag from a drawer, and glanced over at his sister cuddling Meghan.

"You didn't tell me you got her a gift," Meredith told him. "You say I'm spoiling her?"

"So did you..." he teased her, "and didn't tell me either..."

"How..." Meredith hesitated, "well...I did...but you'd have told me I was spoiling her and it is her first Thanksiginv...and it was appropriate...and..."

Derek silenced her with his lips, "I loved what you got her..."

"You know..." Meredith said, "how?"

"Cookies on the computer..." he kissed her again, "the last page on the site you visited."

"Sneaky..." she smirked.

"Not brainless," he teased back.

"Not brainless at all," she smiled, "isn't that right Kerry," she locked gazes with him, "but he forgot to tell you," she whispered softly, "you have your very own little Angel too..."

Derek wrapped his arms around them both, "you do...your own little baby angel...in Heaven with your Granpa...and her name is Brianna..."

Meredith kissed his lips softly, the baby protested being squished between them, making her godmother laugh. "You're just impatient aren't you...my little noisy piglet..."

The godparents walked over to the Jenna, the still sleeping older sister undisturbed. "My daughter," Jenna said, "is the most fortunate baby in the world...to have two extraordinary godparents."

"How long were you two listening," Derek questioned.

"Does it really matter?" Jenna asked.

"No," Derek said.

Kerry at the sound of her mother turned immediately toward her, gurgling her delight.

"You've missed me..." Jenna smiled, "finally," she reached for her daughter who immediately turned to her mother's breast. " Not quite," Jenna laughed, "it's all about eating...Mer...when did she eat last?"

Meredith gave her a summarized version of the hours she'd been gone. "I figured if you were gone much longer, we'd give her another bottle at four."

"Kerry," Jenna cooed to her daughter, "you're being Mommy's piglet...you can't eat every ninety minutes... we have to wait a little bit," she turned the baby's face away for her breast, "let's see if Uncle Derek can distract you with his gift..."

"Happy Thanksgiving baby," Derek said as he took out a small stuffed turkey, sitting on its fat cushy rump with its golden feet extended; rust colored tail feathers matched the neck and the contrasting green tail coverts matched an adorable cap that made Meredith smile.

"It looks like a mama turkey," Meredith smiled.

"Like a lazy mama turkey," Jenna giggled, reaching for the bird and showing it to her daughter, "just like this little piglet."

"You don't like it," Derek said, a little disappointed. "I thought she'd like it."

"Oh...Derek," Meredith said, and wrapped her arms around his waist, "it's adorable...she's going to love it, aren't you baby," she said as the baby reacted by looking from one adult to the other.

"Kerry," Jenna spoke softly, "why don't you show your Uncle Derek how much you like your very first Thanksgiving turkey...sweetie...what do you say," she held the cute turkey closer to her but the baby didn't react, and Jenna placed her in Derek's arms. "Maybe she needs to know it's from her godfather...her first Thanksgiving present...on the same day she got to see snowflakes for the first time..." she spoke to the baby, and handed the stuffed animal to Meredith.

"Kerry," Meredith said, "this is the most adorable little turkey I've ever seen...and your Uncle Derek wanted to celebrate your very first Thanksgiving..." she held the turkey up to the baby's limited field of vision.

"You can hold it closer to her," Derek said, "it's made of all organic materials and it's been sanitized and everything...I made sure so she could touch it and it's not full of germs and..."

Meredith grabbed her tiny hand and allowed her to touch the texture of her first Thanksgiving gift, and the baby smiled, and she saw the look on her husband's face, and thought of the moment they too would experience similar firsts.

"You like that," Derek cooed when the baby smiled, "it's made special just for you," he said of the gift he'd spent hours looking for and making sure it was one of a kind, while two of the most important women in his life had yet to discover the special tag that said, Kerry Beatrice's first Thanksgiving.

"What do you say sweetie," Jenna said, "how about another smile for your Uncle Derek."

"Mer get her your gifts," Derek said, "before sleeping beauty wakes up."

"Gifts," Jenna said, "are you guys crazy...you can't be getting her things all ..."

"Jen," Derek interrupted her, "we can...just accept it."

"You're going to spoil her rotten." Jenna said.

"So," Derek ignored her and smiled. "You should be happy," he teased, "she's our favorite niece..." paused for the effect, "and godchild..."

"Jerk," Jenna smiled. "Meggie better not hear you saying that... she's very sensitive."

"Jen," Derek said, "she has nothing to worry about...did you see her sleeping? She only cares about Meredith."

"She does not," Meredith said, as she joined them after getting Kerry's gift. "She loves you completely."

"Yeah...well," he winked at Jenna, "it's you she wants to spend time with."

"Derek..." Meredith answered, "she's just all about little girl things...and..."

"Mer," he assured her, "I'm teasing...and nothing makes me happier than seeing her, and the rest of the kids wanting to be with you."

Kerry, to Derek's amusement and delight had her tiny hand wrapped around the tukey's narrow neck; the inquisitive and curious look in her eyes ever present.

"Kerry," Derek said, "I think you're going to like your godmother's gifts even more..."

"You looked," Meredith accused playfully, "I have to watch you from now on..."

"We're going to spend a lot of time together," Derek said to the baby, who smiled in return, "so you don't become all complicated like all the women around you..."

"Complicated," Jenna taunted, "you...the brooding king..."

"Be quiet," he said, while still smiling at the baby, "this conversation is private."

"Fraud," she teased him. "You're just not willing to admit," Meredith shrugged, "you're as nosy as all your sisters and Mark."

"Low blow Mer," Derek teased back, "just hurry up before we have another problem on our hands," and pointed to Meghan on the bed, "when she finds out she didn't get a gift."

"Hey sweetie," Meredith said, "you got a turkey from your godfather...and you'll be able to use these when you're older...probably before I see you again...and your mommy can give you one at a time...see which ones you like best...as soon as you can hold on to them," she took out a cotton stuffed rattle with the face of an elephant in green, gold and blue colors, the design made easy for the baby to hold.

"It's so cute," Jenna sighed, "Mer...where did you find them," and loved the look on her daughter's face as she smiled at the sound of the small new toy in her life. "Wait, let me get the camera," she said and was back within a couple minutes.

"Mer," Derek turned to her, "these are different than what I saw on the web page."

"I didn't like the frog or the monkey," she told him, "so I called and had them make something special...just for her," she said of the piglet and penguin's faces.

"The zoo..." Derek teased, "we'll never hear the end of it."

"Who cares," she raised her eyebrow suggestively.

"Who cares indeed," he leaned in to kiss her.

"You two..." Jenna said after snapping a picture of the moment, "are as bad as Dr. Cris," she joked, "says you are."

"She's jealous," Derek told her, "right baby...we're talking about your pain in the ass older cousin," he referred to the joke about his and Mer's grown children.

"Derek Christopher," Jenna imitated her Aunt Pat exactly, "you're going to have your ears boxed," and both siblings laughed.

"At least," he said, "it's not Ma washing mouth out with soap."

"Mer," Jenna asked, "show her the rattle again, I loved her smile when she heard it," and she did, and the baby's reactions to the elephant, pig and penguin and her smile as she held on to the turkey, were recorded and treasured for years to come.

"I think she liked the pig the best," Meredith said.

"Very fitting," Jenna smiled as she kissed her daughter's cheek and took her from Derek the second the baby's hand went to her mouth. "And perfect timing."

"I got one more," Derek said, surprising both women.

"You do..." Meredith said surprised.

"Do you have any idea how long it takes to find an organically safe cute turkey for a baby," Meredith giggled at the idea of her husband spending hours on the internet looking for a gift for their godchild; her heart filled with love for this man that loved her.

"No," she said, her hand reaching for his when he got a small item out of the same drawer, "how long?"

"Over three hours," he said, "but I found a ton of other things that looked baby friendly, turkeys are not pretty Mer," he said as he proudly displayed a small, no more than 12 x 12 inch, blanket in deep lavender speckled with a handful of green dots and gold border, with the tiny face of a smiling squishy piglet with a huge gold nose made of soft organic yarns.

"You got her a pig blanket," Jenna turned to him, and before she had a chance to continue his smile was gone when he saw his sister's tears.

"I..." Derek said, "thought you'd like it...it's handmade and no chemicals...and it's Mer's favorite color...and you say she's a little piglet...Jen...I didn't mean anything bad...it was just...I remembered you had a little blanket you took everywhere..."

"Oh...Derek..." his sister reacted immediately, and handed the baby to Meredith and hugged her brother. "I'm not crying because I don't like it...it's just..." she wiped her eyes, "it's still hormones...and you spent all that time looking for a gift for my baby...and it's thoughtful and special...and..." she hugged him again, "you and Meredith..." she shook her head, and it was a while before she spoke again, while she reached for Meredith's hand, "thank you...for loving my baby..."

Meredith met his gaze, squeezed his sister's hand, and understood that Jenna's reaction was an expression of the deep sensitivity to the vulnerability of their loss.

"Of course we love her," Derek hugged her back, "Jenna...she's our own little angel..."

"I know." Jenna wiped away the last tears, "as Brianna is hers."

"Kerry," Meredith hugged the baby close to her, kissing the top of her head, "your godfather was right...you are our very special angel," and the baby snuggled close to her, and Meredith's soul knew that they too would one day experience the joy of holding their newborn children.

"Derek," Jenna asked, "would you carry Meghan to my room, she was up way too early today, full of excitement, she'll sleep for another hour at least, and that will give me time to feed Kerry and give Katie a bath."

Derek returned to their room and walked in straight into his wife's waiting arms. "I love you," Meredith told him, "do you have any idea how much?"

"How much of my conversation with the baby did you hear?" He knew instinctively what she was referring too.

"I was awake the moment you took her from the bassinet," she kissed him softly.

"I didn't mean to wake you," he cupped her face, kissing her back, "or make Jenna cry."

"Derek," she met his gaze, "I think...maybe...no...I'm pretty sure...it has to do with motherly instincts..." she said, needing to reassure, as she knew him, and in his voice she'd heard a hint of doubt when he spoke to Kerry. "I'm taking it on faith...so should you," she kissed him softly, "you already know what to do...and our kids are going to have the best dad in the world...and Jenna cries about everything that means something t her...and you spending all that time finding the right gifts for Kerry...is special."

"Our kids," he caressed her cheek tenderly with the back of his hand, "will have the most extraordinary mom."

"I love you Derek," she kissed him softly, and walked to the door and locked it, and it was a couple of hours later when they joined their family in the kitchen; time spent lovingly and tenderly expressing the love they felt for each other; time when lovemaking began with the need to convey the depth of emotions between two people whose physical craving of each other was insatiable.

Meredith and Derek took their time, savoring each moment and each other; each word, each touch, each caress became a renewal of their love for each other. Their bodies and the tender words of love and passion reflected the love and commitment of soul mates; lovers who'd accepted fate's shattered dreams had strengthened their relationship; rediscovered their need of each other and now trusted completely that before too long they would rejoice holding a child of their own.

Teasing each other and laughing about their new found expertise at silent lovemaking, he joined their bodies and found the perfect familiar rhythm; two insatiable lovers on the brink of fulfillment and seconds before his release, both whispered I love you, followed by the sounds of mutual pleasure and ecstasy.

"Derek," Meredith whispered softly, as she lay her head on his chest, "this...this moment afterward...it was never about the sex...but this...the intimacy between us...as scared as I was of it...it was always about how you made me feel...safe and loved...and me loving you..."

"Meredith," he said almost reverently, "from that first time at the trailer...it's always been about that...about loving each other...even if we didn't know it yet," he caressed her cheek tenderly and kissed her tenderly.

"I love you," she told him, and kissed him back before wrapping her arms around him.

"I love you, Meredith," he held her close to him, and made her feel safe and loved and cherished, basking in the intimacy of their lovemaking until they were ready to join the family.

"Finally," Maggie greeted them and hugged Meredith, then Derek. "Mom ordered me not to interrupt you, that you needed sleep."

"We did," Meredith told her, "it was a long flight here," then, she whispered to Maggie, "but we didn't get any sleep," and both women laughed.

"Meredith," Maggie said, "we all bet on that..."

"Ma," Derek walked over to her, reached to taste the ham she was slicing, "can't you do something about all the betting taking place around here."

"No more," she smiled, while she slapped his hand gently, "than I can keep your hands out of the food," she paused, "or Jenna and Rob and you and Meredith spending the afternoon having..." she looked at Rob then Meredith and Derek, "candy."

The room erupted with laughter, while Maggie gulped the tea she was drinking, "candy...Ma...you're referring to sex as candy?"

"You are the guilty party," Carolyn told her, "saying s-e-x was candy...and your nieces are not about to forget it," she said as she winked at Meredith.

"What would you have said," Maggie turned to her mother, "none of us ever asked that question."

"You asked worse," Carolyn chuckled, "especially you...Dad was always amused by it."

"We did?" Maggie asked, "like what?"

"We'll talk about it later," Carolyn said as she saw three little girls walk in the room. "Girls, you walked in just in time to be Granma's helpers," she said to Rebecca, Emma and Katie and soon delegated the responsibility of setting the table.

"Mer," Maggie pulled her along, "after my email when we got home Wednesday, I haven't had a minute to call you, let's get out of here, Mom's got enough helpers, and I want to tell you ..."

"Not so fast Mary Margaret," Carolyn said, "everyone's had kid duty between yesterday and today it's your turn."

"I'll take care of it," Nancy said, her sister looked happier than she had in months since she'd come back from her trip with John, and she suspected she wanted an unbiased listener to share her experience with. "Maggie, go talk to Meredith, you're the only one that hasn't had a chance to spend some time with her and Derek."

"You feeling ok," Maggie taunted, "being nice and all..."

"Don't make me change my mind," Nancy told her, but things changed quickly when John, Maggie's husband came through the door from the living room with Kerry in his arms.

"Mary Margaret," his voice boomed even before fully entering the kitchen, "have I got a treat for you," he smiled at her, and placed the baby in her arms.

"Meredith," John turned to her and kissed her cheek. "I'm not giving her up, we haven't seen her in over two weeks."

"You know," Meredith teased, Kerry turned toward her voice, "Jenna has made it very clear," she winked at Maggie, "when I'm here...I always get..."

"Hogwash," John said, to the delighted giggles of his nieces who were separating the silverware needed at the dining room table, "we've been away just as long."

"Uncle John," Katie said, "you learn real good so Granma won't wash out your mouth."

"Sure have sweetie," John lifted her, tickling her, "I only had her do that one time."

"Doctor Cris," Emma said, "had lots of times today...she has to learn to use other words, and the three little girls giggled away as John made his way back to his wife.

"Mags," John smiled, his gaze locked with his wife's, both equally captivated by the not so tiny infant, "she's amazing...she's smiling."

"You're smiling," Maggie held the baby closer, "Kerry Beatrice you can't grow up so fast...I'm gone just a little bit and you're already smiling," the baby concentrated on her aunt's face, without cracking a smile.

"Kerry," John spoke to her, letting her take hold of his finger, "show Aunt Maggie...what a smart baby you are, heck...you even recognize that your godfather is brainless," and sure enough the baby smiled; Meredith giggled, Derek's face held a mock frown, Jenna who'd walked in after checking on Meghan laughed and Maggie was momentarily stunned.

"We're not kidding," Meredith laughed, "she seems to like the sound of the word," and teased Derek a little, and he cocked his head and smiled at her, "especially when it's her Uncle Derek holding her," she moved to take the baby from Maggie.

"Not on your life," Maggie snuggled the baby, "what do you say Kerry, even your godmother is being mean to my big brother," and walked up to him, "she probably just knows it's you we're talking about and that makes her smile...knowing how special her godfather is and how much he loves you," Derek put an arm around her shoulder, kissing the top of his sister's head while whispering, "you're happy...the last two weeks way...were good for you...you're really happy."

"I am," she met his gaze, "do you want to hold her?"

"No," he smiled at Maggie, "we've had lots of time together today, haven't we sweetie...we had a long good talk today...when your nosy mommy and godmother were eavesdropping on our conversation...now you get a little time with Aunt Maggie."

"John," Meredith smiled, "how'd you manage to get a hold of her?"

"Jenna," John said, "was walking down the stairs and I took her," he had a mischievous smile, "told me it would be my only chance, since you were being Mcdreamied..."

"You've met Cristina," Derek laughed; drawing Meredith close to him.

"We have," John chuckled, "and understand you've been eating lots of candy," and the room once again erupted with laughter.

"I can't wait," Meredith said, "when you and Maggie have to explain why you're eating too much candy," and just for a second saw a flash of sadness in her sister in law's eyes, but didn't have much chance to dwell on it as Aunt Pat had walked in the kitchen door.

"What is this," Pat looked around, "we're less than an hour from dinner and instead of helping you're all making fun of my favorite niece and nephew?"

"Thanks Aunt Pat," Maggie smiled at her, "I know I'm never going to live that down."

"You're happy," Patricia hugged her niece, "the trip was good for you."

"It was," Maggie admitted, "so good for us..."

"I know," her aunt said, and kissed the top of Kerry's head, and met her older niece's gaze, "honey...you'll have this...another little one...just have faith."

"Aunt Pat..." Maggie said quietly, "I don't want to get my hopes up..."

"Have faith," Pat hugged her, "small as a mustard seed."

"I do," Maggie replied.

"Yes...you do..." Pat smiled tenderly at her. "Carolyn, you're becoming a softie, why haven't all these grown children been put to work?"

"I was waiting for you to get here and start giving orders," Carolyn replied, "that way you're not missing your usual daily..."

"Oh please," Pat walked over to her sister, "with all that navy nurse training, you're a hell of a lot bossier than I've ever been."

"Granma," Katie's voice was heard above the adult's chatter, "you gots to go get tons and tons of Palmolive, cause Aunt Pat's a nun so you need more soap...cause it's a sin..."

"Oh God," Jenna mumbled, "here we go with the sins..."

"Thank your lucky stars it's a venial one," John told her, "and it's not s-e-x."

"Mommy," Katie turned to her, "Aunty Maggie said s-e-x was candy...but having candy is not a sin...right Aunty Pat?"

"Ma," Jenna said, "would you like to answer her questions?"

"No dear," Carolyn said, "we'll let Sister Pat do that."

"Katie," Pat said, "having candy is not a sin...your uncle John is being silly."

"Thank goodness," the six year old said, "cause Uncle D and Aunt Merdith like to have lots of s-e-x ," and all the adults did their best to keep from laughing at Katie's observation.

"Maggie," Derek said, as he walked up to her, "you're never going to live that down...and we're gonna remind you..."

"All right," Pat said, "enough with picking on Mary Margaret, she'll have her hands full soon enough and you won't need to remind her..."

"Aunt Pat," Maggie sighed.

"Ok, enough dilly dallying," Pat said and walked up to Maggie. "Get to work, you have kid duty," and then shocked one of the newest members of this extended family, when her tone and words changed completely. "Kerry...my little lamb," she cooed softly, and took the baby from Maggie, "you and I are going to spend a little time together...with your Granma...because there are enough people here that can wrap up all that we need for dinner...isn't that right, yes, it is, and look at that smile...and we didn't even have to say brainless for you to smile..."

"Pat, I can't leave the kitchen," Carolyn said, "there's still..."

"Nancy and Kathleen are going to be here in a few minutes and they can take over..."

"Patricia," Carolyn warned.

"Ailene," Patricia said, "they can handle it...we're old...we deserve a break," and walked up to her sister and put the baby in her arms, "how can you resist her?"

"Mom," Maggie said, "go on...we'll take care of the rest, Aunt Pat's right...you've been at this since yesterday... take some time," she walked to her mother and hugged her, "enjoy her...she's precious...and they grow up so fast."

"Mom," Meredith said, "even I'll help..." she joked, "now that there's no cooking to be done, and Derek's a great helper, he can keep me out of trouble."

"Mama Shep," Cristina said, "don't worry, I'll keep Meredith away from the stove and oven...I'm starving and can't take any risks."

"Bitch," Meredith mouthed at her.

"Mama Shep," Cristina said, "does it count if you mouth one of those words...Mer needs her mouth washed out with soap."

"No dear," Carolyn smiled, "only if I see it."

"Playing favorites," Mark drawled and whispered something to Lexie.

"Maggie...I'm not sure you can handle it all," Carolyn protested weakly, her granddaughter's gurgles a much stronger incentive, "the sweet potatoes need to be put in the oven in fifteen minutes and then..."

"Mom," Jenna said, "we've been doing this a lot of years, leave the kitchen to us." Jenna kissed the baby, who reacted immediately with a smile, "you're gonna go talk to Granma...and the old trouble making nun," and the baby cooed back delightedly.

"Disrespectful chit," Pat pulled on her ear playfully, "imagine if you weren't my namesake. Let's go Carolyn time for us to enjoy this little one," and she pulled her sister along and walked up to her bedroom for a little peace and quiet.

"Carolyn," Pat said, as they both sat on the edge of the bed, "how are you holding up?"

"Thank you," Carolyn said and reached for her sister's hand, "for understanding."

"They'd have loved being here," Patricia said, both sisters misty eyed, "seeing their children, the grandchildren...but we're lucky...that when we had them...Carolyn...they loved us and we loved them...and no one could ever replace them..."

"How did you know...I needed a little time...away..."

"You were very quiet, unusually so...and we're too much alike for me not to understand...what a day like today means to you and tomorrow, and that you'd want to keep any hint of sadness from the kids."

"I love you Pat."

"I love you too Carolyn," both sisters smiled at the infant that was making her discontent known at being ignored.

"Kerry," Pat said, "you're not happy being left out are you...my nosy lamb...but you know what," the baby responded in her own language, "I'm going to let you in on a little secret...and we won't have to worry about you repeating it like your little sister...or the rest of your cousins...and blurting out that you want s-e-x..."

Carolyn laughed, "I don't understand what in the world made Maggie say that."

"Well...Meggie is unlikely to forget it...and she'll have her own explaining to do pretty soon...mark my words."

"Pat," Carolyn said, "she's so happy...I've only seen her twice since they got back, but there's a look about her...I even wondered if she's pregnant..."

"She's not," Pat said, "but she is happy...and she's gained some trust back...faith Carolyn...goes a long way..."

"I just want her happy, no more shadows."

"Kerry," Pat spoke to the baby, her little hand grasping her great aunt's finger, "by this time next year...you're going to have three cousins on the way..."

"Patricia...three..."

"Maggie and Meredith," she smiled at her sister, "three healthy new babies for you to love."

"Maggie and Meredith," Carolyn's eyes watered, "I worry about them...both."

"They will be fine...and you know I never say anything about these things unless I'm absolutely certain..."

"Three babies..." Carolyn smiled.

"Actually," Pat said, "I'm fairly certain I'll have a couple grandbabies as well."

"Pat," Carolyn said, "they'd be so happy...my Irish...and your Sean..."

"Our romantic, lusty and insatiable Irishmen...who loved us," Pat said.

"Yes," Carolyn smiled, "and the memories they gave us...that have lasted a lifetime."

"Kerry," Pat said, "sweetie...you'll have lots of little ones to boss around..." the baby smiled as though in perfect understanding, and continued her conversation to the delight of her grandmother and great-aunt, until both decided it really was time to check on the preparations for the very special Thanksgiving meal.

Everything was set perfectly for dinner; the dining room table for the adults, now fourteen, including the two oldest grandchildren and another table for the twelve youngest grandchildren; Kerry was content as her grandmother put her down in her bassinet, attentive to the various noises around her, this night staying up throughout dinner but not for long in her bassinet as she was passed from one relative to the other and loved the attention she was getting.

All the children were seated at the table when Carolyn walked over the kids table and spoke to her grandchildren, "tonight as you know is very special... we are celebrating Thanksgiving one day late...but it means ever so much that we can all be together, because being together with family is the most important thing in the world...it is what I'm most grateful for...that my family is here and happy and healthy..."

"Mom," Kathleen walked to up to her mother and hugged her, "do we keep with tradition, before we bring the meal out?"

"I think," Carolyn said, "tonight we should let everyone who wants to share what they're grateful for...have their say..." and the adults gathered by the children's table.

"Granma," Meghan asked, "does we have to go in order...do you and Aunty Pat goes first cause of you're the oldest?"

"How about if you go first..." Carolyn told her, "since you're the littlest one?"

"No Granma, I not the littlest one...Kerry is...but I can go first cause of she can't talk."

"That's right," Carolyn smiled at the granddaughter, "you can talk for Kerry too."

"Granma," Meghan said, "I thank baby Jesus cause it's almost his birthday...that I got a new baby sister...and Aunty M gots to visit and I gots to remember Uncle D cause I not remember him too much ...but I love him and Aunty M lots and lots...and they be Kerry's godparents...see Granma, I gots that right now...and Kerry loves them lots and lots...and I love Mommy and Daddy...and Katie and Granma and Aunty Pat and Aunty Kat and..."

Jenna interrupted, "you want to say that you love all your aunts and uncles..."

"Yes Mommy, and all my cousins..."

"That's very good sweetie," Jenna told her and hugged her.

"Mommy," Katie asked, "I go next?"

"Yes, baby," she hugged her daughter.

"I thankful...for my baby sister Kerry and my little sister Meggie...and Mommy and Daddy...and Granma and all my aunts and uncles and my cousins...and Jake...Daddy, can we get a dog like Jake?"

The rest of the children continued not all having something to say, the boys in particular a bit shy unlike the girls.

"I'm grateful to be home," Laura said, "Mom and Dad... thank you for teaching us that family is the most important thing ...that we're always there for each other...no matter what...I've missed you all terribly but being with you here now...is what I'm most grateful for."

"Granma," Allie was the last of the grandchildren to speak, "I am thankful for you...for showing us day after day what it means to be a family...I love you...Mom, Dad...thank you for the love you give us every day...and for this very special Thanksgiving with Uncle Derek and Meredith here...all my aunts and uncles together and happy."

"Allie," Meghan said, "how come you gets to call Aunty M just Mewerdith?"

"Meggie," Katie answered, "that's cause when people gets old and go away to college and they can do that but we gots to be respectful."

Each of the adults would have something to share, all equally sentimental.

"I'm grateful," Mark said, "and honored to be invited to share this day with you."

"I'm thankful for second chances," John said, reaching out for Maggie's hand, "and for being blessed with two wonderful children and beautiful wife in all ways that count and all of you as my family."

"I'm blessed with my two amazing sons and my husband and each and every one of you, each of you know the reasons why," Maggie held on to John's hand, "and for our two brand new family members...Meredith and Kerry."

"I'm thankful for Mom...for keeping daddy alive...every single day," Jenna had walked over to Carolyn and hugged her, instinctively wanting to acknowledge her father's presence on this day, "for my wonderful husband and our girls...for our healthy newborn...for each of you here today...as you are what family is all about."

"For a year filled with Blessings...a new niece, a new sister...we all give thanks for being here together today," Kathleen said, "for little baby angels that touch our lives...in the most unexpected healing ways," she met Meredith's gaze.

"Thank you Carolyn for welcoming me to your family," Lexie said, "I'm grateful to have found my sister...and for spending this day with her." Meredith watched as her sister's eyes filled with tears and understood the tears were bittersweet; this first year without her mother.

"I have to say I'm forever grateful for the most beautiful Mchottie in the world," Mike hugged Nancy, "and our children."

"Honey," Nancy tried to stay away from sentimentality, "you make me feel that way...after all these years...only you can do that...and I'm thankful for our healthy beautiful children and our family."

"Mama Shep," Cristina joined in, "I'm not good at this but...I'm honored to be invited to Shepherdsville...with all its awesome little people...it's The Waltons...100 times better."

"Mommy," Emma asked, "what's The Walton's?"

"Will let Cristina explain to all of you later," Kathleen smiled.

"Welcome to the family Meredith...and Kerry Beatrice," her father picked her up from the bassinet, "baby you fill our lives with joy...just as your sisters do...as your mother fills mine."

"Thank you Lord," Kevin spoke, "for the abundance of blessings in my life; Kathleen and our children...every single member of our families...for they enrich our lives abundantly."

Derek pulled on Meredith's hand and stood next to his mother, hugging her, "Ma, this day...this very special day when you've gathered us here to give thanks, there are few words to express what you mean to each of us...how grateful we are for showing us what it meant to find the love of one's life...and I have found mine and for that I shall be ever grateful...that God," Carolyn's eyes watered, "yes...I do remember...that He blessed me with Meredith," he whispered to his wife only, "and Brianna, our own little angel."

"I'm grateful," Meredith said deeply moved by everyone's words, "for each of you...for the first time in my life...having a family to gather with and give thanks...and for my husband...the love of my life...who made me believe that dreams do come true...and fairytales exists...and for Lexie believing we could be sisters," the sister's met each other's gaze and smiled, "and for all six sisters here tonight," and in that moment Derek's sisters became her own, past resentments completely forgotten.

Derek turned to Rob, who was on Carolyn's other side and took the baby from him, and lay her in Meredith's arms, "and...we are all grateful for this beautiful healthy child whose name says it all; Kerry Beatrice, a beautiful dark haired child that has brought such joy to our lives...our very own little angel."

"Derek," Jenna said, "you can never make fun of me again...sentimental tears or not."

"Only two more to go," one of Maggie's sons joked to his brother.

"Boys," John said, "careful."

"They're right," Carolyn laughed, "but they should be used to it by now. Let's bring the food out and Pat can do the official blessing of our meal," and everyone helped and within minutes all the food that had been kept warming in the kitchen graced the beautifully decorated Thanksgiving table, and Pat stood at one end of the table.

"Bless us, O Lord, and these your gifts, which we are about to receive from your bounty, through Christ our Lord," Pat said, to a chorus of Amen.

"Thank God," Logan, Kathleen's thirteen year old said, followed by his cousin's Michael's snicker, earning them both a light smack on the back of their heads.

"Mom," Michael protested to Nancy, "we're hungry."

"You'll have to wait a little longer now," Patricia said, "I'm not done."

"Katie," Meghan whispered to her sister, "it's taking a really long time..."

"It's always that way Meggie," her sister whispered back, "you just was too little to remember last year...but we gots to be quiet like in church."

"We thank you dear Lord, for this year's very obvious blessings...sisters...starting with the oldest," she smiled at her sister, "Carolyn you have been my strength for years...I love you my dear sister...and now your girls have a new sister...and Jenna's girls have a brand new sister to love for a lifetime..."

"Irish," Carolyn said softly, and none of the adults remained unmoved, sentimental tears evident in everyone's eyes. "I know you're with us tonight, and that you are proud...so very proud of each of our children...and their families...and you'd love our two newest additions...Meredith, a lovely new daughter and sister to our girls and Kerry Beatrice, a tiny precious granddaughter... and thank you," she placed an arm around Meredith, "for reminding me that baby angels look after us," she whispered to Meredith, "for a precious angel named Brianna," and then she continued, "and we are all grateful for all those with whom we've shared our lives...and are not here with us today, but they are always remembered and live in our hearts forever."