(Shattered...) Dreams Fulfilled

Love Conquers All

"Uhmmm...you fell in love with me that night," he whispered, a hint of seduction in his voice.

"I ...did ..." she giggled, "not..." kissing his neck, "say..." and his lips, "that..."

"You did...you just did...you can't take it back now..." he said, kissing her back.

"I said..."

"I know what you said...and I know what you meant," he said, and kissed her again, "and I'm thankful...you listened to me...and didn't turn away...though you tried, all the while playing hard to get..."

"Playing hard to get," she laughed, "have you lost your mind?"

"You did...Meredith...if we're going to get this story straight, you have to be honest..."

"I have to be honest," she laughed, "so, once upon a time...you'll tell them, mommy and daddy met...and mommy fell madly in love with daddy that very same night...but daddy forgot to tell her that there was this wicked wicked witch flying in to Seattle on her broom...and it would take two months for her to land... "

"Meredith," he laughed, "we don't have to be that honest," he said and they both laughed and he reached for her and held her, and she nuzzled his neck, as they enjoyed being able to talk about their past, and in spite of the pain separation had brought, savor the fact that now, they were together, that love, indeed conquers all.

"Derek..."

"Uhmmm..."

"When did you fall in love with me..."

"The first time I saw you..."

"You did not..."

"The first time I saw you...sitting with your back to me, that sexy black dress...by the way...do you still have it?"

"Yes."

"Just wondering..."

"What are you wondering Derek?"

"You don't have to know every thought in my mind..."

"Seriously...when..." she asked him, and ran her fingers through his hair.

"I knew the first time I saw you that you were someone I wanted to get to know...then you threw me out after having your way with me all night, and by the time I saw you at the hospital, and you played hard to get," he said, with a light chuckle, "I knew I wanted to be with you...date you...make love to you all the time..."

"That does not answer my question...and I did not play hard to get, you were my boss...I thought I could get kicked out of the program, it was totally inappropriate..."

"Just like I said...played hard to get...made me chase you..."

"Derek..."

"Come on...let me have my fairy tale ..."

"When you put it that way...go ahead...spin your fairy tale ..."

"Don't joke...this is the story for our children...and grandchildren..."

"With some edits, but go ahead..."

"Every day I fell a little in love with you..."

"You did..." she asked as tears began to swim in her eyes, and she circled his neck with her arms.

"I did..." he said, kissing her starting at the neck and working his way down her throat and lower yet, "and the day...the day you kissed me in the elevator...I was totally lost in your spell."

"You were..." she said as she raised his head and brought his mouth to hers.

"I was...it was the beginning...of falling in love with you..."

"For me too...the beginning..."

"So...if it wasn't that first night...when was it..." he asked.

"The night ...that stormy night...and that sunrise watching the ferryboats...I knew...I was in trouble."

"In trouble?"

"I'd never done this before Derek...never imagined I'd want a relationship...I began to have thoughts of romance...not just sex...and love, and the man of my dreams, spending my life with one man..."

"That night...for me too...I realized...like I've told you before, you were a breath of fresh air...I'd been drowning and you saved me...and I was not going to let you go..." he said and kissed her deeply, both moaning in response.

"The night at the trailer," they both murmured at the same time, and time stood still, as they understood the magnitude of that statement, they'd been in perfect synchronicity with the other...each recognizing their love had been gradual, but one night...when half truths were shared, each fell hopelessly in love with the other.

"It was..." she said, deep emotion in her voice, "the first time...the first time I had trusted a man with my heart."

"And...I betrayed that...I betrayed that trust..."

"No...Derek...let's not dwell on that...that night...did you love me, did you believe you were in love with me?"

"That night, knowing I had given you half truths, and you trusted me, took it all on faith as I'd asked, when you extended your hand to me...I knew, I loved you...and that somehow...we were meant to be together...for a lifetime."

"That's all I need to know...the rest...we took on faith Derek...and look...look where we are now..."

"We need to talk about it..."

"Not now...tonight...let's just enjoy memories of that night...remembering the night we both knew, in our hearts, that we loved each other."

"It was a beautiful night," he said.

"The most important night of my life..."she said, "though there's been others since, but that was the first time...the first time I believed maybe love...a love like ours existed."

"Do you realize how that makes me feel..." he said, guilt evident with every word.

"I hope it makes you believe in fairy tales..." she told him smiling.
"You are amazing... after all I've hurt you...how can you..."

"I found the love of my life...when I didn't even know if I believed in love at all."

"But...Meredith...after that..."

"Derek...let's leave that...for my therapy sessions..." she challenged.

"I love you Meredith, I don't deserve you."

"I'm going to be very angry with you, if you don't stop...do you know how lucky we are, after all that's happened, to be here...together..."

"Yes."

"Then, that's what I want us to celebrate...our love for each other..." she said, and lightly caressed his face.

"I'll make it up to you...I promise..." he said, turning his face and kissing the palm of the hand now caressing him.

"We'll do it together, Derek...we'll make up for the lost time together."

"We can do that...but...Meredith, I need to say this...please..."

"Ok," she said, and let him talk, as it was obviously important to him.

"I wish...I wish I had chosen you the first time...because...in my heart...you were already the woman I wanted to spend my life with...but I chose wrong...and things could have been so different...I made us lose so much time...and caused so much pain between us...there's so much we could have avoided, so much I could have done to ease your pain...your mother...you had to deal with that alone...and I'm sorry...I wish I would have followed my heart, instead of a false sense of what was right...or expected."

"Derek..."

"I lied to you...when I didn't tell you about Addison, I lied, and for that I will always be sorry...I only hope you have truly forgiven me."

"I wish you had told me...but, we can't go back..."

"Meredith, we've never talked about this, but that night, I was going to tell you..."

"It's ok."

"No, it's not...please, you have to believe me...when we were getting ready to leave, talking about having dinner...we were going to talk...when..."

"I believe you. Derek, I said, wine first, talk later...and we didn't have a chance, before she..." she paused, and to lighten the mood added, "the wicked wicked witch of the East finally landed with her broom...dressed in black...and bringing happily ever after to a halt...and so the kids can understand, you can tell them, it was a long commercial break..."

"How can you joke?"

"Because..." she said, looking intensely in his eyes, "I've already cried too many tears."

"You haven't forgiven me, have you?"

"I want to get on with our lives...and there's no sense in holding on to resentment."

"You haven't answered my question," he said with deep regret in his voice, "I understand though, if you haven't."

"I understood Derek, I did...why you tried to make it work, you are that kind of man...hold those kinds of values, and I understood, but it hurt...it hurt like hell, and it's still a bit hard to deal with all those months of ... let's not do this, ok..."

"Finish...let's finish what we started..."

"I don't want to, not now..."

"Please...tell me...so I can beg for your forgiveness...beg that one day you will be able to tell me you've forgiven me."

"Heartbreak...months of heartbreak...Derek...and I did hate you...but I told you then, do you remember the day my mother was brought in, and the whole world found out about her suffering from Alzheimer's, my secret was out...and you let me scrub in...remember that day..."

"Yes," he swallowed past the lump in his throat, "you insisted ...insisted on calling me Dr.Shepherd."

"Later, I told you how exhausting it was to hate you..."

"I remember, vividly," he said, now tears gathering in his eyes, "you kissed me..."
he swallowed, "your kiss had a finality that broke my heart."

"It broke mine too," she said, tears now falling freely down her face, "but, I stopped hating you...I stopped hating you then..."

"Why..."

"Because...my heart was breaking, not... not because I hated you...but because it was filled with love...and you'd broken my spirit, you chose her...and broke my heart, but...Derek, then as now...I loved you."

This time, unlike that time she had mentioned just now, when it happened many months ago, it was him that reached for her face, cupping it gently in both hands, and unlike the light kiss she'd given him, his kiss was soft and tender and lingered, as he murmured against her lips, "if...if you could still love me..." he said, caressing her hair with one hand, and bringing it to her face again, "if you still love me now...can you...can you...one day find it in your heart to forgive me...for all that hurt...all that pain I caused you."

He heard her broken sob and felt her hands reach for him, holding his face in them, "I already have...you are my love...my soul mate...I already have."

"I'll make it up to you...I promise...I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to you, " he said, kissing her deeply, a kiss that transcended time and their souls understood the other's commitment.

"Why...why don't we spend the rest of our lives...making each other happy instead."

"I love you Meredith...you are so much more than the love of my life...you are what makes my life whole, and I can't imagine having to live another second without you."

"Neither can I Derek...and you...you make my life complete...and I promise to spend our lifetime...that lifetime you've promised making you happy...except..."

"Except..."

"We have to remember, Derek...there will be times we will forget, when life deals us situations we don't anticipate...hurts we don't expect...like now...we have to remember our other promises...to not let ourselves push the other away...because we will...and that's when we have to remember this moment...when life throws those dark and twisty curb balls, ones I may wish to hide behind in the old familiar avoidance, that's when we need to remember what we mean to each other...otherwise, all the pain we've already been through...all that it's taken to get here...will be wasted...and I don't want us to ever be without the other...ever again."

"We'll remember...and if we fail...if one fails to remember those promises...then the other will do it...remember...when you said we had 100 steps...and that we'd fall, hopefully not together...that's what we need to avoid...make sure one of us is always ready to pick up the other..."

"Derek...there will be times...we fall together...that's when we have to just be there...holding on...together, and never letting go."

"I'll be there, this time...unlike the last time I told you this...I won't break my promises to you again, I'll be there, always."

"As I will...and you'll remind me...if I falter...you'll remind me."

"I love you Meredith."

"I love you," she said, and got up extending her hand to him, "let's go to bed, it's been a very long day."

"You realize it's barely nine-thirty..."

"We've been up since four, Derek."

"But you slept all day...and got a massage," he teased her.

"You can stay on the couch..."

"Not in a million years," he said holding her hand, and allowing her to pull him along, and they settled in bed, with him spooning her, and their hands entwined.

"Derek..."

"You are going to sleep...right?"

"I just have one question..."

"Uhmmm..."

"If Addison was the wicked wicked witch...what were you..." she said, and unable to stop herself, began to laugh, "in your fairy tale, what were you..."and he joined her, finally, ending this day, unlike the last few with laughter.

"The ugly toad?" she giggled.

"That needed his princess to kiss him awake?"

"We're going to have to work on that..." she giggled again, to his absolute delight.

"Meredith..."

"Uh huh..."

"We have a lifetime..."

"We do."

"Good night, love."

"Oh..." she said, with a soft gasp.

"What..."

"You...you've never..." she said softly...quiet tears escaping.

"You're crying..." he said, "Meredith...why..."

"You never have endearments...you called me..."

"Good night, love," he repeated, "Meredith, that's what you are...my one and only love."

"You're my one and only love too, Derek...you are..." she said turning in his arms, and resting her head on his chest, they both smiled and giving in to newly discovered emotions, found undisturbed sleep for the first time in days.

Meredith was up early. She'd had eight hours of sleep and carefully got out of bed as not to disturb him. He looked tired, and she knew he was emotionally spent. Trying to keep up with her mood swings over the last several days, had to be exhausting and she loved him all the more for the way he'd supported her the last several days. She was sitting looking out the window, thinking of what she could do for him, wanting to show him how much she appreciated his thoughtfulness. Bringing her here was costing him a fortune, though she knew he did not mind. She wanted something special for him, when suddenly she caught sight of a small brochure in the room, and knew the perfect way to show him.

"Derek," she said quietly, softly brushing his lips with hers, "good morning."

"Uhmmm...what time...is it...when do we have to be at work..." he mumbled and buried his face in the pillow.

"It's almost seven, we have to get up..."

"Why?"

"We're going somewhere."

"We get to sleep in...to rest..."

"I have a surprise for you...you have to get up."

"A surprise," he mumbled, rubbing his eyes.

"Yes...and we have to be ready by eight thirty."

"It's seven."

"We have to have breakfast."

"What surprise?"

"I can't tell you...it wouldn't be a surprise...but, please...get up."

"Am I going to like this?"

"I hope so...yes..."

"Uhmmm," he mumbled, and got out of bed and headed for the bathroom where she soon heard the shower running.

"Derek," she asked, opening the door slightly, "do you want room service or do we go to the restaurant?"

"Whatever you want," he yelled over the running water, and minutes later joined her wearing just a towel around his waist, "so...what is my surprise," he said wrapping his arms around her.

"Get dressed," she said, "we don't have time for this..."

"What...you don't have time to kiss me good morning," he teased, while nuzzling her neck and lightly biting her.

"Derek...you are dead...truly dead, if you give me a hickey."

"You sound like a teenager...warning her boyfriend," he laughed.

"We don't have time..."

"Later..." he said, and nipped at her lips.

"Maybe."

"You...are a tease..."

"Get dressed," she ordered.

"How do I know what to wear, if you don't tell me where we are going?"

"Who said anything about "we" going...you're going..." she told him.

"You're sending me off...alone..."

"I thought you'd enjoy some time alone..."

"Meredith, I didn't come here to spend time alone," he pouted.

"Oh...just get dressed, and yes... I'm going with you. Put on some jeans, and dress warmly."

"Bossy... really a turn on."

"Derek!"

"Fine...I'll get dressed."

"Derek...aren't you ready yet?"

"Meredith, it's been two minutes, and I'm going to shave."

"Why?"

"Because...I need a shave..."

"Derek...I like you unshaven..."

"You are just saying that so I'll hurry."

"No, I'm not, really, while we're here...no shaving."

"Really," he said coming out of the bathroom with jeans on and bare chest, "you should have told me before..." and grabbed her around the waist and nuzzled her neck trailing kisses from her neck to her shoulder.

"Derek...get...put a shirt one..."

"Bothered, are you..." he teased.

"Just a bit..." she laughed.

"I love you," he said, and touched her face and kissed her.

"Derek...I think you'll like it...the surprise..." she said, suddenly nervous, "but, I should tell you...I mean, what if you don't, and I've made all the arrangements and you don't want to go, and well, maybe I'll tell you, it's still a surprise...because you don't know about it, but I should tell you, just in case..."

"Meredith...it's early...I'm not sure I've followed..."

"We're going fishing," she blurted out.

"FISHING?"

"Yes...fly fishing...unless you don't want to...I thought you'd like that, and they told me it was great and there's good catch in the middle of the river or something...and they said they have an expert guide, and I wanted to do something special for you, because you've done so many special things or me these last few days...and I just wanted you to know how much it's meant to me, and thank you...and..." he silenced her with a kiss.

"Where do you get the energy to do that...so early in the morning..." he joked.

"Kiss you ...I have always had lots of energy for that in the morning..."

"Rambling...Meredith...rambling..." he said and kissed her again.

"Oh...that ...well...do you like your surprise..."

"I love my surprise, and it means a lot that you thought of it...but you said, we, are going fishing... " he questioned.

"Well, I'm not going to be knee deep in water casting lines, I can guarantee that...but, they told me they take us out to the middle fork, and you have to release the catch, but that it's great because there's deep pools and...you cast the lines up to 75 feet..."

"Do you ..." he said, smiling, "have any idea what you're talking about?"

"Of course I do...I set it up, didn't I?"

"That's great, that you want to come with me, but really we need to find about the gear and if we need artificial lures and flies."

"We...you need flies...whatever for...as in flies...dead flies?"

He laughed heartily, "I love you, you have no idea how much," he said, and kissed her, "are you sure you want to do this?"

"I do...Derek...I wanted to do something for you to enjoy...take your mind off everything, just enjoy the day..."

"You picked the perfect thing to do, in fact, I'd been thinking of coming up here on a weekend to do just this, so thank you...but, we don't have to do this...this trip..."

"I want you to...please... so I feel I did something for you..."

"Ok..."

"There are some spots they said, where I could just stay by the river bank, they'll provide a comfortable chair that reclines...and I'm going to get a book in the gift shop...and read...while you fish..."

"Thank you...Meredith...I love you."

"My first fishing trip...are you ready?"

"I am...let's go have breakfast."

"Derek," she said, turning to him before they walked out of the room, "thank you...for this time together...it was good...it was healing, before we go back and face everyone...spending this time here with you."

"I wanted you to have that...some time away...so when we go back...it could be a little easier...and I'm going to be there...whenever you need me, I'll be right by your side," he said, and kissed her softly before they walked out of the room.

Derek and Meredith would have been surprised and deeply touched by the meeting currently taken place at Seattle Grace, as their friends, their family gathered together before the beginning of their shift, answering a summons by the Chief.

"Good morning, thank you for your punctuality. I realize it's earlier than the start of your shift, but I felt it was important to meet with you today. I have spoken with Dr. Bailey, and she informed me all of you are aware that Dr. Grey suffered a miscarriage three nights ago, and she will be back at work the day after tomorrow."

There were nods of acknowledgment by the four residents as well as Lexie, while Miranda and Mark listened.

He cleared his throat, "it's unusual for me to get involved in these things, but I've known that girl since she was a child, and I know you are her family, and she has had one hell of a year, and now this. It may be a difficult time for her, as with any woman in this situation, you are doctors, you know the implications, but, as one of our own, and certainly your family, I took the liberty of bringing you this pamphlet with information that may help you ...be supportive of her...and Dr. Shepherd when they return to work."

"Chief," Mark interrupted, "there's a website...very good...I'll give that to all of you," he paused, and cleared hi throat, "it talks about do's and don't...in these cases...how to be emotionally supportive of parents when they suffer this loss."

"Thank you...Dr. Sloan, that should also help... I've talked to Dr. Bailey, if she ... Dr. Grey needs any other time off, we will facilitate that, until she's ready...emotionally ready to deal with all of this. She may be physically fine, but she's had a rough year, and I wanted you all to know we're sensitive to that...and want to make sure we can offer our support."

"Chief...that site ...what Dr. Sloan mentioned... there's a link that gives The Seven helpful things to say and Seven things not to say, and it's really good, it helps to know how to give them our support."

"Thank you, Dr. Grey, and all of you...I know Dr. Gr...Meredith considers you family, and I know they will appreciate all that you are doing, and especially helping to maintain their privacy."

"Chief, can we...if she needs more time off, can we cover for her...can we cover her shifts, help with her interns?"

"Yes, Dr. Yang, any of you that wish to do that, that would be fine."

"Just talk to me," Dr. Bailey told them, "we'll take care of it."

"Chief, I'm sorry to bring this up sir, but there's been a lot of gossip going on that Dr. Shepherd's resigned," Alex told him.

"What," he asked indignantly, "Karev, who's saying that?"

"Kind of all over the place. With all due respect, sir, they are saying the two of you fought and Dr. Shepherd is not coming back."

"This damned hospital, I have never seen anything like it. No, that is not true, Dr. Shepherd will be back, the day after tomorrow, and he certainly has not resigned."

"Well that is good. Thank you sir, for letting us know," Izzie commented.

"Anything else, I need to know about, O'Malley...you haven't said anything."

"No sir...nothing else..."

"O'Malley..."

"Well sir, just...well, you asked..."

"Yes...I asked, what the hell else is going on out there?"

"They say you forced Dr. Shepherd to operate sir, and there was a yelling screaming match, and that is why he's not coming back."

Richard Webber stood silent, and brought his hand to his forehead and massaged his temple, and resigned himself to the inevitable. "Yes, we argued, but he has not resigned, and he will not be resigning. He will however, very likely ask me for some time off in the next month, time off for him and Dr. Grey, and I have consented to make that happen. Now, I trust this conversation will remain confidential. Any other questions?"

Echoes of no and no sirs were heard as the interns and now residents exited the lounge.

"Chief," Miranda stated, "they can be trusted, they won't say a word, they care too much about her."

"She's earned that Miranda."

"Yes, she has," Mark added, "and Chief, Shep will be grateful, he doesn't hold a grudge, I know from experience."

"Thanks Sloan, I owed him this," he said and walked out.