(Shattered...) Dreams Fulfilled

Secrets...old & new

The vibration of the phone on the night stand woke her and she instinctively reached for it, while at the same time glancing at the soft grey display of the clock indicating it was 5:37 in the morning.

"Hey..." she heard, and before there was a chance to speak Derek continued, "know I'm waking you, but I miss you like hell...and we couldn't talk last night, so I thought..."

"Derek Christopher," Carolyn Shepherd said after removing the ear plug, "what in the world are you doing? Your wife is supposed to be enjoying some relaxing time and not woken before dawn."

"What are you doing," Derek said, feeling like a kid who got caught with his hand in the cookie jar, "answering her phone?"

"What any normal person does when there's an annoying, vibrating phone on the night stand," Carolyn quipped, "you answer it."

"Ma," he said with a chuckle, "I obviously wasn't calling to talk to you..."

"That's perfectly clear," Carolyn said, "but you didn't answer my question. Why are you calling your wife at this time? She's at a spa...and should be getting some rest since she's had horrible shifts all this week, just so she could get away for these two days with us, and you're supposed to be camping...enjoying all the fishing and wilderness to your heart's content."

"Ma," he said again, "I'm sorry I woke you, but Mer was supposed to pick up the phone."

"Well...you're stuck talking to me instead," she continued with the same quiet voice she'd been using during their conversation, as not to wake up Meredith. "But not for long, I'm going to sleep at least another two hours, we were up very late."

"You were...why?"

"Talking...just the girls..."

"Mom," he laughed, "it's only girls."

"The five of us," Carolyn said, "then just the three of us. By the way, Derek, thank you...this was lovely. I've already told Meredith how special it's been."

"Mom, why didn't you let Meredith pick up the phone?"

"She probably didn't hear it," she quipped, "her snores are louder than the phone," and heard Derek's laughter.

"I thought you wore earplugs to sleep?"

"Noises are one thing Derek, but phone vibrations, you can still sense even if you don't technically hear it," his mother said. "Now, get on with your day, and don't call back, we'll see you this evening," she said and smiled, in spite of the early wake up call. Her son was happy, and the woman lightly snoring on the bed adjacent to hers was responsible. Carolyn placed the phone back on the nightstand and went back to sleep.

Meredith stretched leisurely as she came awake, then subconsciously sought the warmth usually provided by Derek's body, and of course found it missing, and lay quietly for a few minutes.

"Good morning Meredith," her mother in law said softly, when Meredith turned on her side and opened her eyes. Carolyn was already dressed in a warm up suit, and resting against the headboard reading a book.

"Good morning," Meredith smiled, "you're up early."

"Not really," Carolyn said, "it's just after ten."

"It's what..." Meredith exclaimed. "I had a nine o'clock appointment."

"I had Kathleen go, and yours is now at eleven."

"I can't believe I slept so long," Meredith said, "and it's dark in here."

"You needed the rest dear. It's been a brutal week for you, so I just kept the drapes closed, but I was going to wake you in time for your appointment."

"It has been brutal, other than sleeping late on Sunday," she smiled as she thought of her morning with Derek.

"By the way, since you're already thinking of him," Carolyn said, but Meredith interrupted her.

"How do you know," she smiled, "I'm thinking of him?"

"What did Cristina say...Mcdreamied..." Carolyn grinned. "You have the same look on your face."

"I was thinking of him," Meredith admitted.

"Yes, I know dear...and he called earlier."

"Derek called? Why...what's wrong...?"

"Nothing's wrong Meredith."

"But," she said, and they both heard Kathleen walk in her suite since the connecting door had remained open the night before.

"Likely he wanted to pick up the conversation, wherever you left it ...the night before, and he didn't have a chance when he called you last night."

"Oh...God..." Meredith said slumping back on the pillows.

"Meredith," his mother said and smiled mischievously, "we had phones thirty years ago too...not cell phones...but..."

Kathleen," Meredith called out, "help...your mother's talking about sex again," and she and Carolyn were laughing as Kathleen walked in the door.

The five women spent the day alternately enjoying the rest of the spa treatments they'd booked and spending time together, each in their own way grateful for the very poignant and unexpected moments shared.

"Mer," Cristina said while they enjoyed a relaxing therapeutic dip in one of the pools. "It was really generous of Kathleen to do this and I need to thank her, do you have any idea how...what to get her?"

"She's not expecting anything, she wanted to do this," Meredith told her.

"Still... I have to...I want to..."

"She's going to Fiji for another honeymoon," Meredith told her, "maybe something for her trip, they're leaving Sunday."

"Another honeymoon?" Cristina questioned.

Meredith smiled, "apparently it's number three or four...they've lost track."

"They're a nice couple," Cristina said. "Not often you see marriages like that."

"I know..."

"Mer..." Cristina said, and though she paused, she knew what she wanted to share with her friend. "I'm glad you're happy."

"I am," she responded. "So much has changed..."

"You've changed..." Cristina said, "because of him."

"Cristina...please, don't undermine what we feel for each other..."

"I'm not...I'm acknowledging it, and that he's the reason for your happiness."

"Thank you," Meredith said, as they exchanged glances, both friends misty eyed, no other words needed. The truce between her husband and friend, the first sister she'd ever acknowledged, was intact, and they smiled.

Lexie joined them a few minutes later, "this has been amazing," she said, and briefly witnessed the silent understanding between the two friends. "I'm going to go...and...you can talk...I'll see you later..."

"Lexie," Cristina said, "don't go."

"I...well, you and Meredith may want to spend time together...we don't have much free time lately...so you'll want to talk..."

"We have," Cristina said, "and you're her sister, so I'm stuck with you too. Especially, since I brought you home and pretty much forced you on her."

"Lexie," Meredith said, smiling softly at her sister's stricken look. They shared a lot in common she thought, even the doubts about being accepted by others. "Ignore her. She's got to pretend to be hard core...and if you breathe a word of her going soft, she'll probably have to kill you."

Lexie joined them and remained uncharacteristically quiet.

"Lexie," Meredith said softly, "Cristina's kidding. She didn't force you on me."

"Thanks," Lexie said, again remaining quiet.

Meredith insisted, this big sister role was new to her, but she was learning, and spending time with Kathleen and Carolyn was only serving to reinforce the relationship that had been building with her sister, "what's wrong?"

"Just thinking..." Lexie smiled, but there was sadness in her eyes.

"About what," she said and looked over to Cristina.

"My mom," she said, and Meredith's eyes watered just as Lexie's did.

"You miss her," Meredith said

"I do," Lexie told her, "and being here, with Carolyn and Kathleen just reminds me of how much I miss her...and Molly's far away and Dad...just...how I wish things had been different."

"Me too," Meredith said, and reached for her hand, and they smiled gently squeezing the other's hand, and once again unspoken words further strengthened bonds of trust and friendship. But this time between two sisters, strangers just a few months before, who'd been brought together by a heartbreaking moment in time that would bind their relationship for a lifetime.

"She'd have liked Carolyn," Lexie said. "She'd have loved to see us...how we've managed to become friends."

"Lexie," Meredith told her, "remember the night...when you said, sometimes...we just know things."

"Yes..." Lexie said, "I remember..."

"Lexie," Meredith said, "I'm sure...she's watching over, and she knows, we are sisters."

"You think..." Lexie said, both sisters teary eyed and sentimental.

"Yeah..." Meredith said, "I do."

Cristina had remained silent, and had closed her eyes briefly. If only, she thought, it could be true, if only her father could see...could sense she'd become a doctor because of him.

The five women enjoyed a late lunch and as the extended family continued to bond and then went for another walk along the property. Cristina and Lexie checked out of their room by noon, and all of them had enjoyed one last massage before they ended up back in the adjoining suites waiting for their ride back to town.

"Did I tell you girls," Carolyn commented as she saw Meredith continue to glance at the display on her blackberry, attempting to remain unaffected by Derek's impatient text messages, but failing as his mother took note of the secretive smile in her eyes. "That, I preempted Meredith being Mcdreamied before dawn."

-almost there
-guess you can't answer
-everybody with you probably
-ok so I have to wait
-remember to get rid of mom
-love you Mer

"Mom," Kathleen laughed, "stop teasing her."

Meredith smiled as she heard the soft knock on the door, "but," Carolyn said, "I get the feeling I won't be able to stop it from happening now," she said as Meredith walked quickly to the door.

"Hey," Derek smiled.

"Hey," she smiled back, blocking the door.

"Grey, let us in," Mark said, as he moved forward.

"You all smell," Meredith said, "like fish."

"We do not," Derek argued.

"Yeah," Meredith teased, "you do...and we can't very well let you come in here and stink up the room Kevin and Kathleen are staying in," she said with a mischievous smile, "but you..." she said to Derek.

"Yeah," he said, eyes shining brightly as they met hers and then roamed the length of her body, until again their gazes locked.

"Meredith," Kathleen called out, "you can keep Mark out, but let my husband in."

Meredith smiled as she moved to let both Mark and Kevin in, her gaze never leaving Derek's, "can stay right here," she said and bridged the distance separating her from her husband, "and..." she gripped his jacket and pulled him to her, "show them what being McDreamied is all about," she giggled as she placed her lips on his.

"Mcdreamied," Derek chuckled, "right here...right now...in front of everyone..."

"Kiss me," she smiled, right before he captured her mouth, and they gave in, albeit very briefly, to the passion between them.

"Did I pass?" he teased, a wide grin on his face, one arm holding her close against him, while one hand cupped her face and gently caressed her, then his lips found hers again.

"You did..." she spoke against his lips, "happy anniversary..."

"Happy anniversary..." he smiled, raising his eyebrow knowingly, "again..."

"We get it," Cristina said from her comfortable position on one of the twin beds, "close the door and carry on...but spare us ..."

Meredith and Derek laughed before their lips met quickly one more time before he grabbed her hand and pulled her inside. "Yang," he smiled at Meredith, "I think the better idea is for all of you to leave and close the door behind you."

"Derek," his mother said, with a twinkle in her eye, "that was not very hospitable."

"Ma," he said as he reached her side, and leaned down to kiss her check, "maybe...if you'd let me talk to my wife this morning..."

"Oh dear," Carolyn said, "that would have only made it worse...the distant longing and all," she joked, "better that she slept."

Meredith and Derek exchanged a secret private smile. They had talked, right at one forty five in the morning, wishing each other a happy third month anniversary, just as they'd done the last two months.

"Told you Kathleen," Meredith said, sharing a smile with her mother in law, "your mom insists on talking about sex."

"Mer," Derek mumbled, "not...the image I want in my head...Mom talking about our sex life."

"Get used to it little brother," Kathleen laughed, "age has somehow affected her, and she is very open about these things now."

"What do you mean, "Derek asked, "that she's very open about these things?"

"Age," Carolyn said with a shocked expression on her face, purposely so for her children, "you ungrateful children, calling your mother old. This may come as news to you two," she said clearly addressing Kathleen and Derek, "but your father and I were younger than you are now when we conceived all five of you."

"Derek," Kathleen laughed, "she lectured us about sex when we were growing up, but now, she talks about it...with us and the kids...openly, and you should see some of her facebook reprimands."

"Facebook!" Kevin and Cristina said simultaneously and roared laughing.

"Mama Shep," Cristina said, still laughing, "you're on facebook."

"Of course dear, the older grandkids are all on it, and let me tell you, it's a good thing they know their grandmother is keeping an eye on them, because parents are not as vigilant as they should be."

"I know what the kids are doing," Kathleen said.

"I'm not talking about you dear," Carolyn said.

"Honey," Kevin said as he nuzzled her neck, "she's talking about your sister and son in law," and Kathleen laughed.

"Facebook, I can't believe it." Derek shook his head, "I'm not on facebook, neither is Meredith."

"Well," Meredith said, "I'm not on there often...but I have a page."

"Since when?" Derek asked surprised.

"Since your mother sent me an email inviting me to be her friend," Meredith said.

"My mother sent you an email...and...you joined facebook," he said rather amused.

"I couldn't very well ignore her," Meredith told him, "even though she already had 77 friends and has joined 7 groups, and she'd posted some our photos from Venice."

"Mom," Kevin laughed, "you have 77 friends...and you haven't invited me."

"I'm getting around to it, but it's really very time consuming, and it was more important to see what the kids are doing," she laughed, "much to their distress. I'm also on myspace, once I discovered most of them have it, but they don't know about that."

"Mama Shep," Cristina laughed, "you are priceless..."

"Cristina," Carolyn said genuinely, "so are you."

"Mom," Derek said, "let me get this straight, you have facebook and you invited Mer to join...but not me...or Kevin...Kathleen?"

"Oh, I'm on there..." Kathleen said, enjoying the family banter, but even more so sitting on her husband's lap, knowing they'd be alone in the very near future, especially since she was plotting their family's imminent departure.

"All your sisters are dear and Lexie, and I found out about Mark because I got that message suggesting friends I had in common," she glanced over to Cristina first then Meredith and Kathleen, "and they were already friends."

When the men had walked in the room earlier, Kevin had naturally gone straight to kiss his wife, and pulled her out of the large chair and then sat her on his lap. Mark joined Lexie who was sitting cross legged on the other twin bed, and after remaining unusually quiet during most of the conversation, now leaned toward her and said something that made her laugh as he rested his hand momentarily on her thigh. The gesture was noted by all.

"Mama Shep," Cristina commented, seemingly an innocent observation, "did you say you are visiting for Thanksgiving?"

"No dear," she went right along with her, "I think it won't be possible until right before spring, maybe I could make it in February."

Derek roared with laughter as he put his arm around his mother and hugged her, "Mom," he said as he noticed the glances that had been exchanged between all the women except Lexie, not to mention the conversation with Meredith in the middle of the night, "Cristina is right, you are priceless."

"Don't forget it," Carolyn smiled. "Even...when you are wishing we were all long gone and you could spend some time alone with Meredith."

"That's not true Mom," Derek said and smiled. He was sitting between his mother and wife on the only couch in the room, and when Meredith rested her head on his shoulder he tenderly kissed her temple. "But you can ask Meredith, I only told her to get rid of you early tonight."

"Derek," Meredith smacked his arm playfully. "That is so rude...tell your Mom you're just kidding."

"But," he smiled, his heart bursting with happiness at the genuine affection that had developed between Meredith and his Mom, "she knows I would be lying."

"Derek..." Meredith said now with a more serious tone, "just for that..."

"What," he said, and looked at her, their look, and predictably was mesmerized by his smile and forgot whatever she was going to say.

"Time to go," Cristina said, "she's on the verge of being mcdreamied again."

Mark raised an eyebrow and looked at Lexie, while instinctively resting his hand on her thigh, "what the hell is being mcdreamied?"

"So," Derek said, again noticing the women's knowing glances and hidden smiles, surprisingly even from Cristina, "Mark, you're on facebook...how the hell do you have time?"

"Tracy got me on it, but shit that almost backfired, thank God Lexie warned me."

"What was the warning about dear," Carolyn turned to Lexie.

"Well," Lexie said, "it's not a big deal...just...there's lots of stupid comments and things on facebook and people post the most inappropriate things on walls, and I didn't want him to be embarrassed...and Tracy is on my friend list too...so I had to tell him...and it was good...especially since they actually got a good laugh out of it..."

"What the hell was that all about," Cristina said. "Lexie...focus. One sentence, well structured."

"I'm not sure if..." she said, and looked at Mark for an answer.

"She's being nice and not telling you about the nurse's group," Mark said, and before he finished, Kathleen was laughing.

"Oh my God," Kathleen said, in between good natured pauses for laughter. "There must be a Nurses United Against Mark Sloan group."

"It's really mean, Kathleen..." Lexie defended him, "that they would do that."

"Oh honey," Kathleen said, "I bet it was a boost to his ego."

"Not really," Lexie said without thinking. "There are a lot of nurses, that don't like him. Oh, sorry," she said apologetically and reached out to lightly touch his hand.

"She's right Lexie," he smirked, "it was a bit of an ego booster. Even if they don't want anything to do with me...now..."

"You are an ass," Lexie said, "seriously Mark...a boost to your ego...to have God knows how many nurses all joined together by their disdain..."

"But," he teased Lexie, "they were all singing a different tune at some point..."

"You really are an ass, I don't know how Tracy puts up with you," Lexie said and got up from the bed, leaving no other alternative than a good laugh for the rest of the group.

"He's so screwed," Derek whispered in Meredith's ear.

"Really..." Meredith glared at him.

"In a good way..." he pulled her closer to him, "he can't do better than a Grey..."

"He's too old for her," Meredith said quietly, "and just now he was an ass."

"He was being Mark," Derek told her, "but," he smiled and kissed her. "I'm beginning to understand Mom's feeling...and yours...and...Kat...and Yang..."

"Not," Meredith whispered, "if he continues to be an ass."

"I think," Derek teased her, "Xena will keep him in line."

"Ass," Meredith said.

"I love you Meredith," he whispered in her ear.

"Uhmm..."

"Uhmmm...that's it..."

"Me too," she said reaching for his hand, and smiled as be brought her hand to his lips.

"I think," Carolyn Shepherd smiled, "we've had plenty proof of what being mcdreamied is all about, and it's time we leave so Kathleen and Kevin can enjoy their evening together.

"You see," Kevin said to Kathleen, "why she's always been my favorite mother in law."

"She's the only one you've got," Kathleen glared at him, "just two nights away with the man whore and you're thinking of another wife," she told him, and then said quietly, "your cue, so we can get rid of them faster, I want to be alone with you."

"Sloane," Kevin said, "this is all your fault. "Shep, I told you nothing good would come of spending time with him. Should have known," Kevin continued, and both he and Mark smirked conspiratorially "and then to make it worse, the minute we heard you were calling Meredith I knew I was going to get in trouble for not doing the same thing. Hell, Kathleen," he winked at his wife, "we were camping."

"Kev," Mark said, "don't blame me for that, fuck...sorry Mrs. Shepherd," he reverted to the childhood name, "I meant...sh..crap... I told you to go take his phone away and call your wife."

"You know," Meredith asked, "that he called me?"

"Either that," Mark drawled, "or he's cheating on you Grey...cause...it sure as hell sounded like phone sex to us," he said while he and Kevin kept their laughter under control.

"Jerk," Lexie mumbled and swatted Mark on the back of the head.

"Ass," Meredith said, "you are making that up..."

"Hey...that hurt," Mark rubbed his head.

"It was meant to," Lexie said.

"Xena," Derek whispered in Meredith's ear, "ever on guard, watching over her sister's feelings."

"They couldn't have heard us..." Meredith said, "Derek...we..."

"We weren't loud," Derek whispered, "at least not on the phone."

"Mark," Meredith said, "I'm seriously going to reconsider if I want to have your influence around...when Derek and I..."

"No, you don't..." Mark told her, "no more blackmail."

"Mark dear," Carolyn said, "you're going to get yourself in trouble one of these days...and Meredith has every right to decide..."

"Not you too..." Mark protested, "Mrs. Shepherd..."

"Mrs. Shepherd," Carolyn said, "oh but what have you done now that we're back to that formal name again..."

"I haven't done anything..."

"Really, because you have the same guilty look as when you were ten years old and put Derek's favorite frog in the microwave..."

"Oh shit," Mark groaned, "he didn't know..."

"He did what...you ass...you put Hopper in the microwave..." Derek glared at him.

"I didn't push start," Mark defended himself.

"Hopper," Meredith leaned in to him and teased, "you had a frog named Hopper..."

"He hopped a lot," Derek said, and suddenly she could imagine both Derek's and Mark's reaction if the favorite frog had...fried...or exploded...or whatever it is frogs do in a microwave.

"You're making fun of me," Derek said as he saw her face.

"No," she said, "it's just...I was thinking how...what ...you'd have been sad about," she paused, "Hopper, and Mark's expression if she...or was it he...exploded" a giggle escaped involuntarily, "and the way the microwave would have looked..."

Derek and Mark had been listening to her and the more she talked, the more the absurdity of the situation seemed almost thirty years later, and as they had so often in childhood, started to laugh and when Mark said, "I wanted to see what would happen...you know...an experiment...especially if we could pull the skin back together again..." their uncontrollable laughter provided one more level of healing between two inseparable childhood best friends.

Carolyn Shepherd smiled as she silently communicated with the love of her life, "Irish...we've done well...our extended family keeps growing...and now...these two boys...more so than ever I think they're going to be ok again."

"Mark..." Carolyn Shepherd said knowingly, "now that we have cleared up Hopper's incident. Tell us, what where you trying to hide earlier?"

"Nothing." Mark said and looked over at Kevin who was nuzzling his wife's neck to keep from laughing.

"Mark Sloan," Carolyn stated in the well known motherly tone.

"Fine," Mark said, "Kevin and I..."

"Me..." Kevin said, "leave me out of this."

"We lied about the phone sex conversation," Mark admitted. "We were messing with Shep and Grey."

"Kevin and Mark," Carolyn said, "you should be ashamed of yourselves, embarrassing Meredith like that."

"Mom," Kathleen, "don't worry, it's Derek that doesn't like for you to hear about your kids' sex life."

"Mom," Kevin said, "you had to be there...it was very distracting. Shep thinking he's quiet and whispering for an hour to Meredith on the phone last night, and forgets you can hear everything out in the wilderness."

"You can hear everything," Kathleen reacted by smacking her husband, "Kevin you didn't tell me that last night...you mean these two heard..."

"You can hear the whispers," Kevin laughed, "honey...believe me, they didn't hear anything of what we talked about last night."

"You both talked to your wives last night," Mark said. "Couldn't wait for twelve hours to see them...or talk about baser needs...and I'm the man whore?"

"Derek," Lexie said, "he has a point...I mean he is still a man whore and all that...even if he's been monogamous with Tracy...but you were camping," she smiled at Mark, "and both of you made fun of Mark not being cut out for the woods...but seems to be he did better than you did."

"Don't say a word," Meredith whispered to Derek before she said. "You know Mark, I think you're just jealous...that both Derek and Kevin had someone to talk to...that wanted to talk to them."

"I had someone to talk to..." Mark said, "I could have called Tracy...but the point was we were camping...men things...wilderness...no phone calls."

"Derek dear," Carolyn said, "do you mean to tell me when you called at five this morning, you had already spoken to Meredith a few hours before?"

"I had to call her," Derek said, as he once again brought Meredith's hand to his lips, and paused to lightly touch the charm bracelet she wore, lingering on the angel silhouette and the gondola, "we had a milestone to celebrate..."

"Another milestone," Cristina said, knowing what it was and not with her usual sarcasm.

"Yeah..." Derek said, "our third month anniversary."

"That's today," Kathleen smiled.

"For us," Meredith said, very sentimentally, "it started last night...same time as our wedding day...the same time as in Venice."

"Well then," Carolyn said, "now that we have found out everyone's secrets...think it's time to leave so Kevin and Kathleen can enjoy their evening together and Meredith and Derek can begin to celebrate this anniversary."

Everyone had already gathered their belongings while waiting for the men to arrive, and thus taking note of that, Mark said, "Mrs. S, Lexie, Yang, let's get a drink downstairs before we leave," he told them, and gathered their three bags, "they have a nice lounge and great view."

"That's a lovely idea dear," Carolyn said, and remained behind with the two couples.
"I will join you in a second."

"Mom," Kevin said, and anticipating a reprimand decided to take the route of teasing both his wife and mother in law, "Kathleen was causing trouble, she wanted to get rid of all of you."

"Don't think I can't box your ears too, you've been around longer than some of my kids, and this one," she said to Derek, "isn't too old for that either."

"Mom, I was kidding about the mother in law," Kevin said.

"I know that," Carolyn said, "you can't very well say I'm your favorite mother, or there'd be hell to pay if Maeve finds out."

Kevin laughed, "Mom's already accepted she has to share that title," he said about his mother Maeve, "she says she can't quite figure out it if happened the first week or the second week after Kat took me home."

"I think" Carolyn laughed, "it's served us both well, especially as we kept having kids around the same time, and we could fill in for each other with each hospital visit."

"Wait..." Meredith said, "I don't know about that."

Carolyn told the story, "when Kathleen brought him home, his family had moved in three days before to a house on our same block, but behind us, in fact, you could see each other's kitchen door, and that's how Kathleen found him. She told me he was sitting on the back steps with the saddest look on his face, and ever the nosy miss she was, and still is," she teased her, "she wanted to find out why, and let me tell you she got punished for walking way from our yard without permission. But, when she brought him over, I was enchanted by the little boy who had his favorite stuffed animal and blanket with him and was going to run away from home, because his mommy and daddy forgot to come after the sun came up lots of days because she had a new baby, and Kat explained to him, that it happens all the time...cause her mommy was big and fat too, and she came back from the hospital...but that it was better if his mommy was at the hospital, cause once she came home she was bringing a noisy stinky crying baby."

"It was true, too," Kevin smiled, and kissed Kathleen's cheek.

"I had not met his parents yet," Carolyn reminisced, "but, walked over there and met his aunt, who was worried sick that she'd lost him, and after that when Maeve came home with the most adorable redhead you ever saw, we became great friends, and whenever one or the other had a baby, she had four more, we'd look out for the others."

"It's worked out great ever since," Kevin said, "especially Christmas mornings with both sets of relatives for the kids, since my parents are still at the same old house."

"Get ready for that chaos Meredith," Kathleen said, "the first Christmas you spend with us, if you notice kids you don't recognize, they likely belongs to Kevin's brothers and sisters."

"But," Meredith said, revealing the lack of family gatherings and experiences of her own, "it doesn't sound like you mind at all."

"It is the most," Kathleen smiled, "magical amazing chaotic day of the year."

"I don't think," Meredith said reaching for Derek's hand, "we can be there this year...but, maybe next year."

"That will be lovely," Carolyn said, "your first Shepherd Christmas will be a wonderful day for all of us."

"Mer's right Mom," Derek said, never more determined to make it happen, "with the time off she had for our wedding, don't think she'll pull Christmas off, but next year, count on us to be there."

Carolyn placed her hand over Meredith and Derek's entwined fingers. "Your wives already know this," Carolyn said, "but I wanted to share it with you too."

"Mom," Derek asked worriedly, as he saw the glimmer of tears in his mother's eyes, "what's wrong?"

"Nothing dear, just a sentimental...old woman..."

"Mom," Kathleen said, "you're not old."

"Sweetheart," Carolyn said, "I don't feel old...but I am...seventy is not young..."

"Mom," Derek said, not liking the subject at all, and felt Meredith's gentle squeeze.

"Don't worry," Derek felt his mother's hand squeezed, "I just wanted you to know...how much it means to be here, just three months ago when we were all together for the first time, I had no idea what to expect...and now...I am so proud of you. You and Meredith, how committed you are to each other...how much you love each other. It warms my heart, and I told Meredith and Kathleen how the other day, at the needle..." she said, and shared her comments about the silent conversation with her husband, leaving none unaffected by the sentimentality and the deep emotions, "and then I find out that it's not just fate that brought the four of you together, that there was one more common bond between the four of you," she said, and a tear did escape, as she got up and went over to where Kathleen and Kevin were sitting, "that you both..." she said, speaking directly at them, "found comfort in each other's loss...of my grandchildren."

"Mom," Kevin said, after an almost inaudible gasp, "you know..."

"I know," she said, and bent down to hug them both, "and I'm so sorry...so sorry I wasn't there for you."

Derek hugged Meredith, kissing her temple tenderly, "how? Were you ok talking about it? Was she?"

"Yes," she whispered quietly, not wanting to intrude in the moment between Carolyn and the couple that for a moment relived the loss of twenty years before.

"Well," Carolyn said to Kevin and Kathleen, "now that there's no more secrets...I just wanted to tell you, how very much I love you, how I wish I had been there to comfort you...both of you," she turned to Meredith and Derek, "when each of you needed me."

"Mom," Kevin said, "you've always been there...always. There's nothing to be sorry for. I love you Mom."

"Now," Carolyn smiled, "it's time for us to leave you alone so these two can be alone as well, it's not often a mother can know in her heart that two of her children have found their soul mates...and like your father and I...that you've found the right one to share your life together."