(Shattered...) Dreams Fulfilled

Motherly Affection Part 2

Meredith went to Derek's office, confident there was nothing else for her to do in the half hour before she me up with her interns and logged on to her hospital address and placed an out office message, and then logged on to her personal account and read the email she'd known she'd find.

Meredith, you can call me anytime...night or day...I mean that sincerely.

But, there's no sense in waking me at three in the morning, just so I can tell you if you did right in smacking him again, LOL... It's a safe bet I'm up till midnight most nights and the others fall asleep through Letterman if there's no one interesting on.

I'm glad I didn't catch the first flight out...Derek told me this morning he's taking you away for a week...but didn't say where, maybe you can fill me in later. I'll expect your call anytime you're free today. Love, Mom

Meredith took a deep breath, this is it she thought, and dialed the number she'd asked Derek to record on her phone earlier, and reflected on the screen she read Mom, and her heart ached a little that she'd never had that option with her mother.

"Hello," she heard after the third ring.

"Mrs. Shepherd, it's Meredith."

"Sweetheart, I'm so glad you're calling."

"I...I know I told you I would, before...before Derek and I were away...how are you?"

"I'm just fine dear, but I'm more concerned about you and Derek, though he assured me in his email this morning that the two of you are ok."

"Yes, we are, and...I'm not sure I can talk about it...not yet...on the phone, but...I think...everything's going to be fine."

"Meredith, your sadness...yours and Derek...there's nothing wrong, is there, physically I mean...neither one of you is ill?" she asked with concern quite evident in her voice.

"No...it's nothing like that."

"You're sure."

"Yes, I am...it's just...some unexpected sadness that we weren't quite sure ...how...how we'd get through it..."

"Well, I'm not going to make you talk about it now, because I don't want you to think of talking to me and being sad, and I'd rather hear about your trip."

"Mrs. S..."

"Yes, dear."

"Derek, he's planned this big surprise trip for us, but he hasn't told me where we're going and he only told me last night...I mean, I actually thought he was going to see you...I've been trying to convince him to do that...because it's been a long time, and we...well, it turned out he was planning on taking me along...."

"But...he's not coming to visit me Meredith, that much I know...Kathleen told me he's taking you somewhere where you'll need your passport."

"Yes, that's about the only thing I know for sure, and that we will need to be back at work next Monday."

"I'm very glad you called me, because I have been worried about you, but talking to you now makes me feel a lot better."

"I feel better too...and I'm glad...you'd said in your email you were going to call me...and well, Mrs. Shep...Mrs. S...I'm not really good at this, but you can call me anytime too...just, I may not always be the best of conversationalists."

"Well, dear, from Kathleen said, I have a new daughter to look forward to meeting, and we have many years ahead of us, God willing since I'm not that old, no matter what my grandkids may think, and we'll have plenty of time to get to know each other."

"Derek bought my ring yesterday," she blurted out.

"Meredith, did you just say he bought your ring, he proposed, sweetheart that's wonderful...I knew it was going to happen sooner than later..."

"No, he hasn't given it to me yet."

"What? That boy, what is wrong with him?"

"No...it's not like that, I mean he told me he bought the ring, because I thought he was going away without me...it's a long story, but he told me so I would know he hadn't forgotten..."

"You thought he'd forgotten...that he was going to propose?"

"Yes, I'm sorry...I know that sounds awful...but there's been a lot..."

"I'm not blaming you Meredith, it's Derek I'd like to get my hands on for making you feel insecure like that, but just you wait."

"Mrs. S..."

"Yes, dear."

"I told Derek, before we left I wanted to call you and tell you that he is planning on proposing during this trip...but he has this whole surprise planned, and I'm letting him...I know he needs to do this, especially now..."

"Why especially now..."

"That's...that's part of the sadness."

"Meredith, are you sure...you're not keeping anything from me, honey, one of you is not sick...are you?"

"No...no I promise you...that's not it, I'm not usually very good with surprises but he's going through such efforts I don't want to ruin it for him."

"That's very sweet of you."

"Mrs. S...we really love each other, we've been through a lot...but we're going to be ok now, and I wanted you to know...before anyone else that he was going to propose...well, Kathleen knows, and she's the only one that has seen my ring, and knows where we are going."

"Kathleen has seen your ring and knows where you're going? That little sneaky..." Mrs. Shepherd laughed.

"You're not mad at her are you?"

"No, Meredith, I'm not, I am delighted you wanted to share this with me, truly I am...very happy that he's finally come to his senses, because from what Kathleen has told me that two of you belong together...in her words...Derek has found his soul mate."

"I found mine too," Meredith said and could not keep her voice from breaking, "and I want you to know...I won't ever do anything to hurt him again."

"Oh sweetheart, don't cry..."

"It's ok...they're happy tears...they are...after many sad ones... and your prayers...they're helping, I know they are."

"I can't very well have my new daughter crying while talking to me, now can I, so maybe I can help by telling you a story about him, when he was a little boy about six years old," she started telling her the story and had Meredith laughing before long. "His father and I could not stop laughing every time we thought about it."

"Mrs. S...I was thinking..." she said, while biting her bottom lip.

"About what?"

"I haven't told Derek...not yet, first I wanted to ask you, that's why I'm calling you now, because I'll be with him later and won't have the privacy to speak with you...he's very nosy you know..."

"Yes, I know...I think it's a Shepherd trait," she laughed.

"Well...I don't want him to be disappointed, since he's trying so hard to make this a really special trip for me, and I haven't done anything for him...and I was wondering...if maybe you would think about coming to visit us...after we get back...maybe you can come and see us...but I didn't want to say anything to him unless you wanted to do that...I mean, I know it's short notice and you don't know me...and Nancy's probably said awful things, but I would like to do this for him..."

"Meredith, stop rambling, and yes, of course I'll come...and don't you ever worry about Nancy again...because from what Kathleen has told me and what little communication you and I have had, I can tell you that I'm looking forward to the day you marry my son, because there's no doubt in my mind the two of you belong together."

"You do," Meredith asked quietly.

"Yes, I do...now...what I would like you to do as soon as you get to your destination is email me and tell me where you are...though Kathleen might tell me now, but...you must absolutely call me when he proposes...and I don't care what time it is, Meredith, you will call me."

Meredith giggled, "that's just what Kathleen said."

"You call me first...that's a mother's prerogative to pull rank," she said seriously.

"What...what if we call you both at the very same time...three way calling."

"That's fine...as long as you call me first," she conceded.

"Mrs. S...I'm going to love meeting you."

"So am I Meredith, so am I."

"I have to go now, I have a meeting with my interns before I leave today, but...I'll call you, Derek and I will call you ..."

"Meredith, I won't say anything to Kathleen or Derek if he calls, you should be the one to tell him that I'll come visit when you get back."

"That's ok...you can say something."

"No, dear...it's what you want to do for him, he should hear it from you."

"I'll tell him...and, we'll talk soon."

"Have a safe trip, I will keep you both in my prayers, good night Meredith."

"Goodnight Mrs. S," she said and disconnected the call, with Mom on the screen, and imagined there would be one day she'd feel right about calling her Mom.

-where are you?
-ready to leave resident's lounge
-leaving my ofc wait for me there
-ok

Derek was in the lounge a few minutes later and smiled at her as she walked into his embrace and kissed the top of her head.

"This is it," he said.

"This is it," she agreed.

"No more break up sex or sex and mockery...just us and engagement...commitment sex...and later married sex..." he said as he placed his arms around her waist.

"Do you think we'll get boring...eventually...married sex and all..."

"Do you?"

"Not on your life...not if I have anything to say about it..." she joked, "I just wanted to know what you thought...I mean...married sex...and you," she scrunched her nose, "not...good I heard."

"Low blow..." he laughed, "that was because all I could think about was you..."

"Then we should be fine...because...if you think about anybody else...you'll be..."

"A dead horse's ass..." they both laughed, and marveled that finally...finally they were one step closer to the commitment of a lifetime.

They walked out together holding hands, oblivious to the comings and goings of those about to change shifts and as they neared his car, Meredith turned around looking back at the hospital and threw her arms around his neck and hugged him, and he twirled her around before kissing her, and then heard her say, "you picked me Derek, you chose me...this time," she murmured against his lips.

"This time," he said, pulling her away from him to look at her face, his own emotions in turmoil and bittersweet that she'd had to make that statement, "is the one that counts, this time it's forever...Meredith, it's for a lifetime."

"I love you Derek," she said and kissed him deeply, and both gave in to the pleasure of the others lips until they took a much needed breath, "I have truly loved you forever."

"Let's go," he said, "we'll never live this one down" and both laughed at some of the expressions of the employees walking out, and looked back at the place that had brought them together, the place that held so many memories, the place where fate had played a role and destined two lonely people to Seattle Grace.

They'd been home over an hour and her room looked like a tornado had hit, at least that was his appraisal when he walked in to find an open suitcase on her bed and tons of clothes scattered everywhere.

"Meredith...what...are you doing?"

"I'm packing Derek," she snapped, "what does it look like I'm doing?

"Cleaning out the closet?" he said and was met with a glare.

"Are you trying to be funny?"

"Do you want me to help..." he asked tentatively.

"Help...it would have helped if you'd told me before, not when I have just one night, hours really to pack for seven days, Derek, that's when you could have helped."

He remained silent, not sure what the best approach was, and acknowledging that Richard had probably been right, one day's notice was not conducive to harmony, and was thankful for the interruption from Lexie and Izzie.

"Oh my God, Mer, what are you doing?" Izzie said.

"It looks like you're cleaning out your closet," Lexie laughed.

"It just figures, Lexie...you and Derek would say the same thing, and come in here and make fun," she said and he heard the catch in her voice, and knew her well enough to realize she was really upset and went to her side.

"Hey..." he said, and pulled her in to his arms, and Izzie and Lexie walked out closing the door behind them, "you want to tell me what's really wrong?"

He heard her sniffle, "I...it's probably just hormones still, and I'm sorry...I was just trying to figure out what to take, and I realized I had no idea where we're going, and I'll probably take al the wrong things, and I'm not good at this, and you're thinking of marrying me, and she probably knew exactly what to take...and looked perfect all the time, and I'm just..." she paused and wiped away her tears "and it's silly...and it's just been a really emotional day."

He pulled her along with him and went to sit in the empty chair and cradled her in his lap, "I wish...with all my heart...that you'd never had to meet Addison..."

"Derek, I'm sorry, it's just silly...don't worry."

"No, it's not, let me finish. There is nothing I can do to change the past, but I can assure you...that I will always regret that I did not tell you about her, and that I did not end my marriage to her the minute I left New York, because that would have spared us a lot of heartache."

"Derek, we don't have to talk about this now."

"Yes we do, this is the perfect time. We can't go back, but what I can tell you is that you are right about all those things you just said about packing and the perfect clothes. But, we had not been happy for a very long time, and all those things are so superficial and insignificant, that to see you trying to pack and all the clothes scattered, made me laugh, not at you...but at the wonderful feeling that I get when I look at you, all the facets of you...you make my life complete, and she never did that...yes, we were married and I did love her, but you have to know...and you need to know now...that what I feel for you is something I never felt for Addison, and she understood that, we talked about it...after our divorce we talked about it, and we were both at peace with moving on because we understood that...she knew...and I knew...that until you...I had not found my soul mate...I had not found the love of my life."

"You...you Shepherds are determined to make me cry today," she said and wiped away her tears.

"Who else made you cry today?"

"Your Mom..."

"Mom made you cry?"

"In a good way...in a really good way," she said and laid her head on his chest.

"Now, as for what you need, I already told you, whatever you don't take you can always get when we get there, and you saw what I packed, it can't be that hard."

"Brainless..."

"I seem to her that a lot lately."

"I'll figure it out..."

"I know you will..."

"But you should have given me more time."

"I realize that, it won't happen again."

"The only thing we need is your passport, everything else we can get later, do you know where that is?"

"I think so..." she said, and he did not notice the change in her mood.

"Meredith, you need your passport."

"I thought you were kidding, and yes I have my passport but I'm not sure it's valid...it may have expired."

What," he said with the most forlorn expression she'd ever seen...like he'd just lost his best friend, "I've been telling you that for days...we...we can't go on our trip."

"Derek, I'm sorry..." she said and kissed him, "I was teasing you...of course I have it..."

"That was mean..."

"Yes, it was...and I'm sorry...please don't be mad at me."

"I'm not...I believe you, but I thought our trip was doomed."

"I was just trying to lighten the mood a little, I thought you'd know I was teasing you..."

"I'm not sure who had a worse case of hormones just now," he said, and at that moment recalling the look on his face when he'd thought she was serious about the passport, made her realize that she'd been able to express her emotions without restraints over the last weeks, but he'd been holding much of it in as he made her his only priority.

"I love you Derek...and I love all you have been planning, and I'm sorry I ruined that, even if for just a few seconds."

"It's ok...now let me have you passport, before it gets lost in this jungle."

"Derek..." she said as she got up to get her passport.

"I love you Meredith," he said, knowing that was what she was waiting to hear.

"Reading my mind again..." she smiled.

"Uh huh..."

"Do you know what I'd like for dinner?"

"We'll order pizza," he said.

"Perfect."

"Should I send the troops in? I think I just heard Cristina."

"You probably should," she said and handed him the passport, and laughed when he looked at the expiration and let out a sigh.

"Meredith, what in the world are you doing, this is worse than my apartment," Cristina told her, as she Lexie and Izzie stood at the door, "move over, I may not care to keep an orderly house, but I was taught to pack by the best."

"Really...and who was that..." Meredith said sarcastically.

"The wife of a rich Jewish doctor," she paused for emphasis, "my mother."

A little more than an hour later, the four women joined Derek, George and Alex in the kitchen. "You didn't wait for us...is this what I have to look forward to," Meredith teased him, "we get engaged and I eat diner alone?"

"You're not engaged yet Meredith," Alex blurted out.

"Jerk," Izzie commented.

"Pizza's warm and in the oven," George told them, "there's plenty of it."

"Did you finish packing?" Derek questioned.

"All done, McDreamy," Cristina stated, "ready to be put in the car."

"Really?"

"Uh huh," Meredith said. "She really does know how to pack."

"Not to mention, we figured you won't need to many clothes, I mean you should be spending a lot of indoor time..." Izzie said.

"Izzie," Meredith chastised.

"Oh, come on, Mer...this is it...all those chocolate cake feelings, finally...McDreamy's making good on them."

They all engaged in the light banter with Derek taking all the mocking sent his way in stride, nothing bothered him as Meredith sat next to him and every so often they shared the slight touch of their hands or as now, the gentle squeezing of their laced fingers and an intimate smile.

"We need to be up at four, I think we'll call it a night..." Meredith said, "thanks for being here tonight, and all your support the last few weeks, it's meant a lot to me...and for covering for me the next week...thank you... for being my family."

They exchanged good byes and Izzie asked that she email when she knew their destination and to call the minute Derek proposed.

Cristina came up to Derek while the others were talking, " you were right, she is happy, you make her happy."

"We're going to make it," he stated.

"I know you are. Take care of her, she needs you."

"I need her too."

"She knows."

"Thank you Cristina."

"Just...don't mess up..."

"I won't."

"This has been a pretty long truce Shepherd..."

"We'll have to stir things up a bit..." he told her.

"Yeah...but, let me think about it..." she said, and they both laughed, accepting the understanding that they both had Meredith's best interest at heart.

"What are you two laughing at, this is scary," Meredith told them.

"Oh...just trying to figure out a way to break our truce," she said.

"Cristina..."

"Chill out Mer...we have an understanding," she said "I expect he got you a decent ring, I look forward to seeing it," she taunted, "have a safe trip guys...see you in a week."

"Good night Cristina," Derek said, and Meredith walked with her to the door.

"Thank you for being my person...especially the last few days..."

"Do you need a hug?"

"It wouldn't hurt," Meredith said and gave her a very quick hug.

"Make sure you call me first."

"I'll definitely keep that in mind," she said and closed the door after Cristina left, and walked back to the kitchen where she could hear Derek and Lexie talking.

"Traitor," she said to Lexie, "always taking his side."

"Mer...I didn't know ..."

"I'm teasing you Lex," she said as she reached her side and hugged her, "it's just unbelievable how the two of you come up with the same things."

"We just both want and know what's best for you," Derek said.

"Yeah...maybe you do..." she said.

"Well, I did tell you...I knew he was going to be my brother in law..."

"Yes, you did...and you took his side from that first night, even when I wanted nothing to do with him."

"But...I knew you loved him...and he loved you..." she said, and smiled at her sister, "and I was right...you finally got it right...you know, the course of true love never did run smooth."

"A Midsummer's Night Dream," Meredith said.

"You know that...Meredith, you actually know that," Lexie laughed.

"I never cared for Romeo and Juliet, especially after I was forced to act in it...I much preferred this...in spite of it all, of how wrong all could have turned out, it worked out...they had their wedding...they were blessed...their house...and their future children," she said, "much better than the other ending."

Derek listened carefully to the tone of her voice and smiled; she never failed to surprise him, and hoped she would be happy with his.

"Lexie, will see you next week," he said and went up to her and gave her a kiss on the cheek, "thanks for everything, remember email me when you figure out what you'd like us to bring you...now that you know where we're going," he smiled.

"Hey you two, no secrets."

"None at all," Lexie said, pleased he'd trusted her before she'd gone up to help her pack and told her where they were going, hopefully that made a difference in the selection of clothes she's suggested. "You're the one that's going to have to let us know Mer, just like Izzie said, email when you get there...but you have to call me...as soon as you have the ring on your finger."

"Lexie, I get the feeling that if I don't...your brother in law will," she said and laughed, "we will call you...once I say yes."

"Good night, Lexie," he smiled, "Meredith, don't be long, we have a long day ahead of us, and we should get some sleep."

He was shocked to find the room in impeccable order when he got there and chuckled, and before he went to take a shower, looked in his overnight bag ensuring the ring he'd picked up earlier was safely in the zippered compartment.

"He told you, didn't he?"

"What are you talking about..."

"Where we're going...you know..."

"Meredith, you have a very active imagination."

"Thank you...for the last three weeks, I only hope...I can learn to be the sister you need and that I don't disappoint you, because, Lexie...I cannot imagine a better sister than you....even when I pushed you way...thank you for not letting me."

"I love you Meredith...I know it's been only a little while since we've known each other, but since I found out about you I wanted so much to meet you...and be part of your life...thank you for letting me."

"Well, you know I kind of sucked at the sister thing...but I'm trying...and I hoping I will get it right some day."

"You already have Meredith...tonight...right now, you already have."

"I love you Lexie...and I don't have to email you where we're at...but I will let you know as soon as the ring is on my finger."

"Have a safe trip...have fun...get some rest, don't over do it...Meredith, drink plenty of water on the trip, walk around the plane, it's a long flight...and...make sure to say yes," she teased.

"Yes Xena...I will do all of those things," she said and reached out to hug her sister.

"We'll see next week..."

"Yes...oh, while I'm away, use my room so you don't have to sleep on the couch, and no flirting with Mark."

Meredith walked to her room and found Derek sprawled on the bed his eyes closed and went to get ready for bed, deciding a shower was better now than at four in the morning.

"Hey," she whispered, "are you going to take up the entire bed?"

"What..."

"Normally we lie down vertically on the bed...but we can try this..."

"I fell asleep?"

"You did...you were up early today," she said and got in bed, and he moved to lie next to her and embraced her.

"Are you ok," he asked her, "we haven't had any time alone since we spoke earlier."

"Yes, everything is fine, let's get some sleep, we don't have much more than five hours to sleep."

"Do you want to talk...about today...you said earlier there were lots of emotons.

"There were, but it seems we have a long flight..."

"Why do you say that?"

"Lexie and Bailey both told me, you have a long flight, drink plenty of water, walk around..."

"Uhmmm."

"You told Lexie..."

"She told you that?"

"No, I told her...she did a very good job recommending what to pack...at least, I think she did, we'll find out when we get there."

"Did you pack the black dress..."

"I did...it's in my carry on...it holds too many special memories to risk it being lost with the checked luggage," she looked up at him and smiled, "wouldn't you agree?"

He didn't say a word, instead responded with a kiss that took her breath away.

"I love you Derek."

"I love you Meredith," he murmured as he gathered her close to him, her back pressed close to his body and they fell asleep with their hands entwined.

Derek decided it would be more convenient to take a cab that would drop them off at the curb and not have to worry about carrying suitcases from the parking lot and same thing on the return. That gave them some extra twenty minutes of sleep, so he'd set the alarm for four-thirty. When they got there he looked for a luggage cart and went to Delta's first class line.

"Derek, why are we in this line?"

"Because we're flying first class," he told her, "well our connection is actually Business, they don't have first class."

"Are you trying to impress me," she teased.

"No...I think I've already done that," he said, and she smiled, "yes, I believe you have."

"Would you mind, getting some mints?"

"Now...don't they need for me to check in?"

"Yes, but we still have several people in front of us," he told her, knowing full well she'd get back when he'd already made it to the ticket counter, which gave him time to present their documents and check their luggage to their final destination without her being aware of what it was. He explained to the agent it was a surprise, and they had no issues in mentioning only the flight to New York, as long as they could ask the corresponding security questions, which they did when Meredith got there, and found out the first leg of their journey.

"Enjoy your flight to New York," the agent told them, and made sure Derek had the connecting boarding passes in the other ticket jacket, "you'll be able to use our Crown Room during your connecting time, have a very pleasant trip."

"New York...we're connecting in New York, how long?"

"About three hours."

"Is that the same on the return?"

"Not as long...I don't think...we can check later."

"Still not telling me..."

"I said I would...if you guessed...but I'll tell you...before we get to New York."

They boarded the flight and Derek placed his bag in front of him, he knew they'd likely fall asleep and did not want to take any chances with the bag in the overhead compartment. Luckily when they'd gone through security there had been no further need for additional screenings which could have ruined the surprise if they took her ring out.

Meredith rested her head on his shoulder while they were waiting for take off, and as soon as the aircraft prepared for take off she reached for his hand and leaned in to kiss him, "thank you...for all you've done to make this special."

"I love you...I want you to be happy."

"I am Derek, you make me happy," she said just as the aircraft lifted off the ground, and again she rested her head against him and closed her eyes.

He heard the first quiet snore and decided to just let her sleep, and smiled, hopefully she would not get much louder than that, and took out his crossword puzzle.

The flight attendants began serving breakfast to the first class section and he woke Meredith, and they engaged in light conversation as they ate.

They had already cleared the dishes when she looked over his crossword puzzle, "need help?"

"No...you don't always know the answers..."

"But, I don't cheat," she said, "and took his pen and starting filling in some answers," then, as though it had never occurred to her before, she wrote off the side of the page.

V I P B L....

"You're trying to figure it out ...like a crossword puzzle..." he teased her.

"I'm going to get it, you know..."

"I'm sure you will...counting on it, in fact," he said and raised a brow at her.

"Yes...well...that too..." she smiled.

"I'll give you another hint...if you want..." actually wanting her to guess where they were going, he was anxious to see her reaction.

"What another letter?" she mocked.

"No...a real hint this time."

"A real hint..."

"Uh huh..."

"You think I won't get it?"

"Quite the contrary...you do better with crossword than me, much better than just guessing letters..."

"Ok...what is it?"

"Let's see...if you think of the letters or should I say first initials...I've already given you...this one could be easy."

"Stop teasing..."

"The description is - a lover's conveyance, 7 words."

"Uhmm...7 words...and the other initials," she said and again wrote the original letters he'd given her, this time vertically and made some notes next to them,

V
I
P roposal, passport
B
L ove, lover

"A lover's conveyance," she repeated deep in concentration, "7 words..." she said and then turned to look at him...and he knew she'd get it, "the first letter...the first of seven letters...is it a g..." she asked as her eyes began to water.

"Yes," he said without breaking eye contact.

"Derek..." she barely whispered, as she placed her hand on his arm, "we're going to Venice?"