(Shattered...) Dreams Fulfilled

Dark Clouds

The annoying sound of the alarm woke him, and he hit the snooze twice before he was forced to face the realities of the day, and got up without disturbing her ,giving her a few more minute to sleep.

Fifteen minutes later he sat by her side, and whispered, "Meredith."

"Uhmmm...sleep...so tired..."

"I know...but you need to wake up..."

"Stay...stay in bed with me..."

"I'm already out of bed..."

"Why?"

"You need to get up...your shift starts at eight..."

"Sleep... a little longer...please..."

She felt the pressure of his lips on hers...and remembered...this is how she wanted...needed to greet each day.

"Meredith...if you could...I'd let you, but you need to get up...or you're going to be late."

"Late...oh....crap...I can't..."

"I know," he said, pushing her back against the pillows, "that's what I've been trying to tell you."

"What time is it?"

"Six twenty."

"What...Derek...that's ... I'm going to be late."

"No you won't. Ferry leaves at 7:05...you have twenty minutes to get ready."

"That's nothing..."

"You also have time to kiss me good morning...I've even brushed my teeth already."

"Well... I guess I can't complain...."

"No...you can't," he said, as he leaned down and kissed her.

"Four days...just four more days..." she said, when he released her lips.

"Come on lazy bones...I have breakfast and coffee ready for you."

"Derek... I can't... breakfast... not enough time...and I can't drink coffee."

"Made you a grilled cheese sandwich to take with you...I thought you could have decaf..."

"Decaf...you don't have decaf..."

"We do now."

"That was sweet Derek...really sweet, but...no, it's not good for pregnant women, I looked it up...and there's.... it's not good. I can do without coffee for a while..."

"It's not good?"

"No, some research, several in fact, say it's not good for the mom, the risk of heart disease and miscarriage increase...in fact...caffeinated coffee was better..."

"Oh...you can drink coffee..."

"I'm not taking any chances...I can wait...water, milk, tea... bit of chocolate...will be good for the next seven months."

"You've been doing a lot of research..."

"I want a healthy baby..."

"I want a healthy mom and baby...I...I should have looked it up...about coffee...I'm sorry."

"Hey...you're going to read all the books...no need to be sorry...I just...had a few minutes...and...went online..."

"Yeah..."

"Derek...it's ok..."

"I should have known...I should be taking care of you..."

"No, you shouldn't have...why would you...unless there's little Shepherd's out there I don't know about..."

"Uhmm...just the one wife...you know about her ..."

"Ok...then...now, I have to get up..."

"That's what I've been saying...."

"Yes," she said and kissed him softly, "but now, baby is making mom very uncomfortable," and got out of bed and headed to the bathroom.

Ten minutes later she was dressed. "Derek, are you ready?"

"I've been ready for a while..." he said as he walked up to her and embraced her, nibbling at her ear, and whispering ..."

"Dr. Shepherd...you have a very dirty mind..."she teased, "just four days...and...payback...and all your favorite things..."

"I love you Meredith."

"I love you too...let's go."

They walked out towards their cars, "your sandwich and a glass of milk are in your car."

"Thank you." she said smiling.

"See you on the ferry...Kathleen is ready, I just need to swing by and get her."

"Ok..."

"Drive carefully."

"Derek," she said, turning around, and running up to him, "thank you...again...for my gift..." she said as she touched the hearts, and kissed him.

She smiled as she saw Derek and Kathleen walking up to her on the outside deck.

"Good morning, I see you are an early riser...like your brother."

"You mean you're not?"

"I hate early mornings...especially, after no sleep the night before."

"Just in case you're wondering...big sister...she kept me up talking...talking!!!"

"I thought you were exhausted."

"I was, but then I was awake, and it was almost five and I couldn't sleep...and Derek...well, he wasn't being very nice or supportive."

"Really," Kathleen said, and playfully swatted him, "you are supposed to be very nice, she emphasized, and supportive, for the next seven months."

"She's lying."

"Derek, how can you say that?"

"I am not lying."

He pulled her in to his arms, "you're not, are you? Tell her what you wanted to talk about."

"This...is not nice...Derek..."

"Go ahead...I'm ready...I can handle this...two women ganging up against me."

"Cooking lessons," Meredith responded.

"Why?"

"I can't cook, I have to learn."

Kathleen laughed, giving her brother an understanding look, "you needed to talk about cooking lessons in the middle of the night?"

"Kathleen, are you making fun of me too?"

"No, honey, not making fun... just laughing with you...hormones are a bitch."

"They certainly are," Meredith replied, and delighted Derek with her giggle.

"For the record, I was very supportive."

"Yes, you were," Meredith said and kissed him. "What's your day like today?"

"We'll get to Anacortes and take nine thirty Ferry to Harbor Island...and let Kat browse all the shops and galleries to her heart's content...and spend lots of guilty money on souvenirs for her kids...and Mom....and the sisters for lying about being out here...what else?"

"I think, there's a slight change in those plans, Meredith, the guilty money is going to be on his credit card, since he's the reason I'm lying..." she joked.

"That's not a problem, I told you...I appreciate you being here," and the hint of sadness could not be eared from his voice.

"Derek, I was kidding...of course, you're not going to pay."

Meredith hugged him, "Kathleen, it means a lot to both of us, that you're here, I just want you to know that, I think that's what Derek's trying to say."

She came up to them both, "it means a lot to me as well, and I would not trade the time we've had together for anything in the world."

"Neither would we Kathleen," he said.

"Enough seriousness...you two..."she said and hugged them both, "we have enough to worry about with those dark clouds looming over our head...it feels like a downpour is about to drench us any minute."

"That's just the typical Seattle skyline...especially this early in the morning," Derek commented, without realizing the dark clouds overhead held much stronger symbolism.

"If you say so..."

"Meredith, the ferry will get us in by three at Anacortes, so I'll be back in time for your appointment."

"Derek, I told you, it's ok...this first time, I'm ok going alone."

"I know you did. It's Dr. Beaumont at six, right?"

"Yes...but, actually, it's Dr. Wyatt."

"You changed doctors, you didn't tell me."

"No, Dr. Wyatt is her married name."

He turned her around, allowing her to lean gently against the railing, and kept his arms around her. "Are you ok, about this evening...today...do you need me here, I can stay."

"No...you need to spend time with your sister...I'm ok..."

Kathleen allowed them the private moment, and walked to the other side taking the time to call her husband.

They were not far from docking when he felt her shiver before she turned and faced him. "Derek, I love you very much," she said, staring intently into his eyes.

"What's wrong?"

"Just...I need you to know that...please, don't ever doubt it...no matter what happens...remember that..." she said, and he saw the tears gathering in her eyes.

"Meredith...what's wrong...are you ok? Are you feeling ok? You're worrying me."

"I ...I just...feel...like...things are about to change, big changes..."

"Of course they are...you're starting therapy, and that is very brave...and we're having a baby...and we...we're going to be together for the rest of our lives," he said, and again felt her shiver.

"We are...Derek...aren't we...together for the rest of our lives?"

"Yes...we are...and...you know what, I'm staying with you today."

"No...you can't do that...I'm ok...I want you to spend time with Kathleen...just I have a feeling..."

"That's it...we're staying...last time you had a feeling...or one of them, you had a bomb in your hand."

"Derek...don't be so dramatic."

"You being ok...is not being dramatic."

"I'm fine...we both are..." she said, and held his hand against her abdomen, and whispered, "baby Shep wants his daddy to know, we are both fine, and he should spend the day with his sister."

"You call me...during the day....and if call you...answer the phone."

"Yes...unless I'm in surgery...I'm fine."

"I've never liked your 'fine' Meredith."

"It's a good word, and it applies right now."

"I'll see you later," he said, kissing her softly as Kathleen approached.

"Kathleen, you should love the drive and the islands...and maybe you can keep Derek from driving me crazy and calling every five minutes."

"Why would he do that, are you ok? Are you feeling ok? We can stay."

"That's exactly what he said," she laughed. "I want you to spend the day together, and I'm fine."

"Take it easy, Meredith, that's what we have to do, when we're pregnant, just listen to the body's needs. If you need to rest you rest. You're not going to be good to any patient, if you're falling asleep in the middle of surgery."

"If I'm falling asleep, I'll make sure I'm not I surgery. Go, you two...I'll see you later, we have to get in the cars to drive off the ferry."

He wrapped his arms around her one last time, and kissed her, "I love you Meredith."

"I love you too. Derek, drive safely."

Suddenly he felt her same trepidation and wanted to go back, stop her from leaving, before those changes she mentioned impacted their lives.

Meredith had another twenty five minutes before she had to be at Seattle Grace, and decided to stop at Starbucks. She desperately wanted coffee, but would settle for hot chocolate, and that made her think of Lisette and smiled at the coincidences that they were both pregnant. She was going to bring one back for her too, except she couldn't single her out, so she'd get coffee for the FAB4.

It was amazing, she thought, she never paid much attention to pregnant women around her, and now she, Lisette and Jenna were all due around the same time. Not that Jenna, was around, but it was Derek's sister, and she allowed her mind to wonder at how different all three babies would be. It would be good she thought, to have someone to talk to that was going through the very same thing, and she really liked Lisette, she was one of those nurses that really cared about her patients, well, all the FAB4 were like that, she thought.

Mark was at the nurse's station as Meredith approached.

"I knew you'd save me having to find you," Meredith teased him, "if I showed up here first. Good morning ladies, brought you coffee."

"Dr. Grey, you didn't have to do that..." Amy Lynn commented.

"I wanted to, stopping by here is always a great way to start the day."

"Oh...were you going to be looking for me?"

"Yes, thought I'd return your thoughtfulness and bring you a special blend this morning."

"Grey, you didn't have to do that...as...bestman," he said, and winked at her, both fully understanding he meant godfather, " I can do that..."

"Mark...you are not supposed to say that."

"Why the hell not, it's true."

"Dr. Grey, the whole hospital is talking about it...after yesterday in the OR, you should know that...and bets, are all over, the wedding date, engagement date...what the ring will look like, how big it will be?"

"You moron," she swatted him, "see what you started. Just for that, I shouldn't give you this...Mark, that was not nice...not at all."

"Oh...no...Grey, don't get all complicated about being nice...Derek's not here."

"Here. See if I do that for you again," and handed him the coffee.

"Sorry ladies, he is really such a child," she said, and handing her a cup of coffee said, "wouldn't you agree Tracy?"

"In many ways Dr. Grey, yes...I can certainly agree."

"You weren't singing that tune last night," he said, and all the women present laughed.

"Steph, Amy Lynn, hope you like this blend it had a wonderful aroma."

Mark reached out for her cup to take it away and she said, "what are you doing, that's my cup?"

"Just want to taste your blend," he said, and just for her to hear added, "you can't drink coffee."

"It's the same you brought me, except a little better," she challenged.

"Fine, don't let me taste."

"Lisette, I know you can't have coffee, but brought you hot chocolate with whipped cream, and hope that's ok with your morning sickness and all."

"Dr. Grey, that is so thoughtful, actually, chocolate is perfect...it helps the morning sickness, my husband says I'm going to have the baby addicted to chocolate."

"I'm glad then... are you feeling better...?"

"No...I probably have another 4 weeks of this... but at least it's only in the morning, unlike my first one."

"You mean you had morning sickness...at other times?" Meredith asked, and caught herself before she allowed her reaction to reveal her own secret.

"Oh God, yes, it was any time, all the time for the first twelve weeks."

"Well, I'm glad then, that's it's only mornings now."

"Getting back to the bets," Mark commented.

"No," the five women answered.

"I just want to set the record straight. I am the G-S team's bestman. They just don't know when they're getting married."

"Ladies," Meredith said, "have a good day, I need to get to the briefing."

Thanks and have a good day followed from the nurses, and she walked down towards the lounge with Mark by her side.

"You got chocolate, just like Lisette's," he teased her.

"You think you're so smart."

"Only because I am. How are you feeling?"

"Did all three of you decide to ask me that today?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Derek, Kathleen and now you."

"You're having my godchild...of course I'm going to ask, and Derek's not here today, so it's my job to drive you crazy."

She laughed, "good bye Dr. Sloan."

"Good bye Mrs. Shepherd," and both he and Meredith laughed.

Meredith walked in the lounge to find Cristina, Alex, Izzie, George and Lexie sitting around waiting for her with brooding faces.

"What's going on?"

"You tell us..." Cristina answered.

"I don't know what you're talking about," she said and grabbed a pair of scrubs.

"Mer," Izzied said, "you can't just walk away and pretend nothing's going on...we thought we were your friends."

"What are you all talking about?"

"Grey...just spill it...the whole hospital knows...there's all sorts of bets already." Alex added.

"You mean...that Derek and I are getting married?"

"Oh...she suddenly remembered..." Cristina said sarcastically.

"Cristina, that was just Mark, in the OR...it's not like it's official."

"Really, could have fooled us..." Izzie said, "Mer, the entire hospital knows, and you didn't tell us."

"There was nothing to tell...the only thing...really that is true, is that when Derek and I get married, Mark is going to be the bestman."

"Mer...you're getting married...really... Derek proposed," Lexie said, and could not hide her excitement, "but you could have told us," she continued with a bit of reproach in her voice.

"Ok...you know what...don't you have a briefing to attend, you're going to make me late."

"We took care of that, and it's delayed a half hour, so speak up, now," Cristina ordered.

"I'm going to change, and I will be back and tell you what happened," and she did, relating the entire story of the OR events, without including her previous conversation with Mark, before agreeing to scrub in.

"Are you satisfied now? It was all Mark's doing, and really, Derek and I, well it's understood we want to get married, and we have discussed it, but he has not proposed, though I have told him I will say yes, when he does."

"You two are really made for each other. That is just pathetic."

"Cristina, I agree with you, Mer, it is," Izzie said.

"It is not."

"Yeah...Mer," George said, "I kind of agree with Cristina and Iz, it is pathetic, you've talked about marriage, he's going to propose, but hasn't, and you've told him you're going to say yes when he does."

"You wouldn't understand."

"You're right, we don't," but at least I won't be putting any money down just yet," Alex commented.

"I think, it's romantic...that you both know...and it will happen whenever you're both ready," Lexie said.

"Thank you Lexie."

"She doesn't count...she's just an intern," Cristina said.

"Hey, so am I," George defended.

"Exactly," Cristina quipped.

"She does count, she's my sister."

"Dude, sister trumps person."

"No one trumps anything, it's just a fact, and she got it...she understood."

"I have to say," Alex added, "Sloan rocked putting Rose in her place, that's the talk of the hospital as well."

"Yeah, well, I wish, that had not been necessary."

"Take that up with Shepherd, he created the situation."

"Cristina, if you remember correctly...you were partly responsible as well."

"Stop defending him Meredith. So I said something you misunderstood, but if he had not created the situation to begin with, it would not have been an issue."

"You're right. Derek and I have dealt with it, now I have to go," she said and walked out.

Lexie followed her, "Meredith, are you all right?"

She was ready to snap at her, but stopped herself. "Yes. Yes, I am."

" I'm sorry, Mer, I shouldn't have been there, I could just have talked to you about it."

"It's ok, they are a hard bunch to stand up against when they set up their mind to something."

"They care about you, and they felt left out...that something important like that had happened, and they didn't know."

"Lex...it happened as I told it...if it was anything else, of course, I'd tell them."

"Are you mad at me?" she asked seeking her sister's approval.

"No. I'm not. In fact, what are you doing tonight?"

"Nothing, we found the apartment, now we have to wait to move in, and I've already packed all the stuff at home, just waiting."

"When did you do that? Why didn't you wait for me to go with you?"

"You have enough going on, George went with me."

'I don't want you going over there alone."

"I won't...I'm not going to put myself in that situation."

"Promise?"

"Yes."

"Ok...so tonight, I know it's short notice...and I know...you may not want to....I mean...I haven't been exactly...well, I wasn't always welcoming... or nice to you...but now...I just want..."

"Mer...focus."

"Have dinner with us tonight, Derek and his sister Kathleen."

"You...you want me to have...have dinner...with his sister..."

"You...you...don't want to..." Meredith questioned, both sisters revealing similar feelings of doubt and deep desire for acceptance by the other.

"I do...Mer... I do...it's just...you...you...want me to have dinner with you...and...are you...will you tell her, I'm your sister...."

"Lexie...of course...I'm going to tell her...why wouldn't I..." she said, and saw the vulnerability in her sister's eyes, "you are my sister...and I wouldn't change that...now that I've found you...I wouldn't want that to ever change."

"That ...that means a lot...Mer...it means so much..." and she wiped a tear away, just as her sister did.

"It means a lot to me too. Now, go on, we can't stand here and cry."

"Have a good day Mer."

"You too Lex, I'll let you know where we're meeting later."

"Hey, isn't your therapy today?"

"Yes."

"Are you ok?"

"I will be. I have to be," she said, and laid her hand softly on her abdomen.