(Shattered...) Dreams Fulfilled

Gentle, Tender Touches

The early morning colors of sunrise had begun to manifest in the horizon as they drove on I-405 when Meredith who'd given in to a light snooze asked him, "we're heading toward Spokane?"

"That's about right, you abandoned me to sleep..."

"You know I always do that when I drive in with you..."

"Maybe you should start driving in the mornings," he said smiling.

"We could do that," she told him.

"Meredith, I'm kidding, I don't mind."

"Derek, did you think my email to your Mom was ok...respectful, I mean... I couldn't call her Mom yet, but I explained to her, and I think I can...I will, unless, well, I didn't think of if before, but do you mind, do you think your sisters would mind, Nancy and all, I can just call her Mrs. S, that's ok...that would be ok..."

"Meredith," he said reaching for her hand, "it was perfect...she will love your response and it will all work out."

"I hope so."

"Stop worrying," he said bringing her hand to his lips, "take my phone, answer it," he said, as it vibrated in its holster, "it's probably Kathleen ready to go."

She did as he asked, and it was Kathleen, "hi, are you ready to go?"

"Mer, we're boarding in a few minutes, and I was just going to leave a message."

"We're driving towards somewhere... but Derek won't tell me where."

"You are going to love it...believe me...hey, did Mom email you, she pestered me for your address."

"She did, and I answered back before we left the hospital."

"Why were you at the hospital, are you ok?"

"Not me, Derek got an urgent message about the little girl he operated on, and we stopped by."

"You went with him? You're ok?"

"Yes, she is precious Kathleen, and she's going to be ok."

"You want to talk to him?"

"Yes, but, Meredith, don't spoil Mom with answering so fast, you'll make it hell for the rest of us," she laughed.

"Kahleen, she was wonderful...and...well, she said I should call her Mom, and Derek says it's ok, but I don't want to offend anyone...your sisters if I do that...I mean, Derek and I are together, but we're not married or engaged... and who knows...but I just don't want you sisters..."

"Meredith, my brother's brainlessness is obviously contagious...she said you should call her Mom, that's enough...it's her wish, nothing to do with my sisters and nobody is going to be offended by that, you're part of this family, married or engaged...or not..."

"Ok."

"Let me talk to Derek...and Meredith, call me...if you need to talk to me...please call me."

"I will...have a safe flight Kathleen, let us know when you get home."

"Hey, I couldn't hear your answer to Meredith...but I take it you told her to stop worrying...yes, you're right, thanks."

"Derek, just remember the next few weeks are going to be hard for her, emotionally it will be weeks before she's back to normal, physically...it varies...just don't rush her...and you need to be gentle with yourself as well."

"Thanks for everything, again...I'll call you when we get back home..."

"Derek, follow your heart, your instincts...whatever that feeling is...take her...she'll love whatever you do for her..."

"I plan on it."

"I'm always ready for a trip abroad," she laughed, "don't hesitate to include reinforcements, but I'm sure when you propose the answer will be yes."

"I'm counting on it," he laughed, "have a safe trip, I'll call you."

"What was all that passport and feeling talk at the airport," Meredith questioned.

"What do you mean?"

"Don't give me that...what does she know?"

"She doesn't know anything, she thinks she does...but she does not know anything," he smiled and gently caressed her hand with his thumb."

"What does she think she knows?"

"That I'm taking you away...on a trip ..." he paused for effect, "that requires your passport."

"Why?"

"Why does it require your passport?"

"No, why does she think that?"

"She thinks she's very in tune with me..."

"She kind of is Derek."

"Uhmmm, maybe, since we were kids."

"So where are we going, with a passport?"

"Could be lots of places..." he teased.

"You're not going to tell me," she pouted.

"Yes, I'll tell you..." he continued to smile, her hand still in his.

"Where..." she said with expectation.

"Somewhere that requires a passport."

"That is plain mean Derek...you lead me on there..."

"Uhmmm...and you never have..."

"That...that is totally different..."

"How..."

"Oh never mind," she said, deciding now was not the time to get into that conversation.

Time flew and before they knew it, they'd arrived in Snoqualmie to Meredith's surprise.

"Derek, what are we doing here, I know they have the Falls, but...you...you can't expect me to go hiking...I'm not...not quite up to that."

"I don't expect you do to anything, just relax," he told her and drove a few more minutes until they arrived at this destination.

"Derek, this is a Spa...what...what are we doing here?"

"Staying...for two nights..."

"What? This...Derek, I know this is very expensive, I've read about it in Seattle magazine."

"I saw the article in the same magazine you were reading."

"It costs a fortune..." she said still sitting with her seatbelt on.

"I make a fortune...and I'm not complaining about the cost," he said as he got out of the car and opened her door, "I want to pamper you...let me do this...there isn't a lot more I can do," he said leaning in to kiss her, and handing the keys to the valet attendant.

"Thank you.," she said softly.

They checked in without delay, the young lady indicating they had early check in taken care of, and getting someone to escort them to their suite and explain some of the amenities along the way, as Derek walked with Meredith's hand in his.

"This is beautiful Derek," she said looking around their room, and over to the windows to take in the view, "but...really...too much...we didn't...Derek, it's $ 700 a night...a simple room would have been more than enough."

He silenced her with a kiss which she gave in to without further conversation," and when both needed to breath, he walked her over to the couch, and gathered her in his arms.

"Do you like it?"

"Of course I like it...and the view is amazing...you can see the river..."

"I thought it would be good for us, to get away not have to worry about anything...no cooking or work...just relax...the two of us."

"It was, it's very thoughtful..." she said and snuggled into his embrace.

"I love you Meredith."

"I love you Derek...and it feel so wonderful to say that...over and over..."

"So...your brainless surgeon got it right...choosing this place," he joked, and kissed the top her head.

"Kathleen," she smiled, "just told me brainlessness was contagious..."

"Why?"

"Because," she said while entwining their fingers, "I was telling her about calling your Mom...Mom..."

"I'm sure she gave you the right answer."

"She did."

"I still cannot believe how she's on to all of us..." he laughed.

"I am going to tell her she was right, about you looking over my shoulder."

"You don't have to."

"I want to...Derek...I think it would be nice...having a mother figure, like she said."

"She can be more than a mother figure...think about it."

"I am."

"Good."

"Derek, what do you want to do...while we're here...it's very romantic, and it's wonderful...but...we...we can't, I can'...Dr Cameron said..."

"Hey...you need to heal...physically ...I know that...but you and I ...it's not about sex...well, we have great sex...but, you and I...so much more than that...and now, I want to pamper you...do whatever you want...stay in bed all day, get a massage, if you want, we can go out ...for a short walk...nothing strenuous...or if you just want to sit here, like this, in my arms and talk...or be quiet...that's what we'll do..."

"But...what about you...what do you want to do?"

"I want you to be happy."

"Oh...Derek..." she said softly, and kissed .

"I want you to heal...physically it will take its course, emotionally I want to be there...I want to help you..." he said and paused, and she heard the emotion in his voice.

"What can I do...how can I help you...it's your loss too."

"You already are...recognizing my pain...our pain..."

"We'll do this together," she said "and we're going to be fine"

"We are," he said, "Meredith and Derek fine."

"Meredith and Derek fine," she said and turning in his arms kissed him and every touch, every gentle caress transmitted how very much she loved him, and they basked in the knowledge each was there for the other.

They'd agreed no cell phones, in fact Derek had provided the direct number to the hotel to the doctor in Kelly's case if there was an emergency, otherwise, it was their time away without interruptions.

"This is the first time we've gone away together," he murmured absently.

"Yeah...I'm sorry...part of it is ...well you know..."

"It's perfect...just what it was meant to be, you and me together..."

"I could get used t this...being spoiled like this..."

"I hope so...I plan on doing this more often..."

"You do..." she asked with a hint of hopefulness.

"Uhmmm..."

"Derek...we're going to be fine...you believe that...right?"

"I know so..."

"Do you mind, if I lie down...I'm tired..."

"I don't mind," he said, remembering all that Kathleen had told him and Lexie as to how she would be feeling both physically and emotionally over the next few weeks, "it's technically still early...barely eight in the morning."

He walked with her to the bed, and she lay down against the pillows, "will you lie down with me...I know it's ...I need you Derek...just to hold me..."

"I need you too," he whispered, and got in bed beside her, spooning her, holding each other's hands and soon fell asleep as the sun continued its inevitable daily rise.

It was close to noon when she woke, and found herself in bed alone, alone in the suite in fact, and wondered where Derek was. She found out soon enough, when he heard the door open as walked out of the bathroom.

"You're awake," he smiled and went to sit down next to her on the small couch, "I didn't want to disturb you so I went to check out our lunch options and since they get booked early, held a couple of appointments for you in case you want to get a massage...there's two types I thought you'd like..."

"I'd probably just prefer..." she started, but changed her mind, he was trying so hard to please her, pamper her, she could go get some spa treatments even if all she felt like doing was sleep. But she knew, after reading some of the emotional symptoms after a miscarriage that what she was feeling was normal in these circumstances.

"You don't have to," he said gently, and leaned in to kiss her.

"What...what did you reserve...you're right, it would be good, and I certainly won't have too many opportunities after we go back to work to enjoy a spa like this."

"Good," he said and gave her the options "I also checked out lunch," he told her and mentioned what he thought she'd liked, and she went along with him, consenting with a smile.

"That sounds good, are you hungry...oh my God Derek, you didn't have breakfast, you must be starving, we should go now."

"Aren't you hungry too?"

"Not really, but I could eat, what you mentioned sounds good, " she said and they left their room to return a couple of hours later after eating lunch and a very short stroll around the property.

"It was freezing out there, it's nice to have this fireplace," he whispered in her ear, as they stood near the wood burning fire, "we definitely need one of these in our bedroom," he said kissing the back of her neck, and was pleased as he felt her reaction to his touch.

"Uh huh...definitely in our bedroom," she said quietly and wrapped his arms tighter around her.

"All better," he asked.

"Yes."

"You want to tell me what's on your mind?"

"I'm...it's nothing."

"Share that nothing with me," he said softly, nuzzling her neck, and leading her to the couch where he leaned back against the armrest and had her sit back, pressed against his chest.

"You won't get mad at me..."

"Not the best way to start the conversation...but no, I won't get mad at you..." he told her as he kissed the top of her head, and lightly caressed her arms in a gentle soothing motion.

"I feel bad that you've brought us here, spent all this money, and we can't take full advantage of the romance of it all...the tub...the atmosphere...maybe we should just stay one night, and we can come back..."

"We can come back...if you want...but this, right here, this moment, that's all I need."

"My knight..." she said, and turned around to face him, "in shining armor..."

"She got it right..." he smiled.

"You deserve that... that I know that...that title...and so much more...and I give you so little," she said as she cupped his face in her hands, and smoothed his hair back, running her fingers through it.

"I have everything I need ...with you in my arms, like this... I don't need anything else...I have the love of my life..."

"Derek...you are...the love of mine..."

"That...that title...that's the one that means the most...that's the one that makes my heart skip a beat, hearing those words from your lips," he told her, and cupped her face and caressed her gently and they were mesmerized by each other's gaze, and lost themselves for countless minutes as they acknowledged the deep emotional longing buried within their souls, and each ministered to the other's needs with simple kisses and tender smiles and gentle touches until the time when all the passion they longed to shared could be fulfilled.

"I love you Derek...for always."

"As I do, Meredith."

"Derek, I'm not feeling very well..." she started to say, and he interrupted her.

"What...why didn't you tell me...Meredith, we were at the hospital...what's wrong...do we need to call Dr. Cameron?"

"Listen...I'm ok, just that I'm feeling tired, more so than I think I should...let me rephrase that, more than I though I would be...I thought...by now, I'd be feeling better, but I'm still...well...I'm still having physicals symptoms I thought would be gone..."

"Meredith...we're both doctors...we can talk about it."

"I know...it's just...well, I'm going to go see Dr Cameron when I get back to work...so he can examine me, make sure everything is ok..."

"Do you feel like it's not...talk to me...I spoke, well, Kathleen spoke to Lexie and I as to what we could expect, and she spoke to me alone...but we can talk...if you want..." he encouraged, and she did, and he listened, and gave her comfort and support.

"I read about it...while you were with Kelly, so I know...it's different for every woman, but being here with you...and not be with you...it...it's just..."

"It's hard as hell," he teased her.

"Derek..."

"Meredith...we have the rest of our lives...so we have to wait to be together...a little longer...I knew that...we have to wait and that could be a week or two or even a bit more...so we'll wait."

"I'm sorry..."

"I'm not...we are together, like this...that's enough..."

"I love you Derek."

"Uhmmm..." he said close to her ear, "what else is bothering you..."

"Nothing..."

"Is that going to become like 'fine'," he teased her.

"Maybe..."

"I though so...how long do I have to wait to hear about it," he asked, just as there was a light knock on the door, "saved by the knock..."

"Who are you expecting?"

"Your massage and then a special foot something or other."

"I thought I had to go to them..."

"No...I thought you'd feel better here...unless you want to go to the spa..."

"Here is perfect."

"What about you...are you getting one too?

"No...I'm going to go for a vigorous workout," he said and got up to open the door.

The massage relaxed her every muscle, and she knew she wanted Derek to get the same treatment, she would talk to him about it later. She was asleep when he got back to the room, and went in to take a shower, then joined her in bed, he too exhausted.

"Derek," she said softly, and kissed him awake, "we've done nothing but sleep..."

"That's fine...we're supposed to relax...do nothing..."

"The sun is setting...aren't you hungry?"

"I am," he said, as he kissed her.

"Soon...I promise...as soon as we can..." she said and kissed him back.

"I could eat some food, if you want," he joked.

"Can we stay in... I don't feel like getting dressed."

"We can order in...and I don't feel much like getting dressed either," he told her and looked for the menu so they could order their evening meal, "they have a great wine selection, what would you like?"

"You pick..."

"How was your massage?"

"Great...you should have one, before you go, you need to have one..."

"They have couple massage rooms," he told her, "several different options, there's a brochure about it, I think I saw it in the bathroom."

"That bathroom is bigger than half your trailer Derek..."

"So, let's enjoy it," he teased, "before we have to go back to my pint size bathroom and shower."

"We've managed well enough," she joked and smiled at him.

"I love your smile...it's good to see it."

"I'll try harder... I will...just...give me a few days..."

"You take all the time you need," he said and kissed her softly, and helped her out of bed.

"Derek, this is nice...no phones...TV...though it's there, but just the two of us, the gorgeous view...it's perfect...thank you for thinking of it."

"Would you like to come back?"

"It's so expensive."

"Meredith...you do realize how much money I make..."

"Derek, I don't go around thinking about your money."

"I know you don't...one of the many things I love about you...but it's there...for us to spend."

"I can't spend your money," she said a bit surprised

"Why the hell not?"

"Well, it's...it's not mine."

"It's going to be... once we're married...you can spend it however you want...you can spend it now."

"I can't do that..."

"You can, but, we're not going to argue about this. not now...we can save that for later."

"You think we're going to argue about this..."

"I can almost guarantee it..." he laughed, "but unlike most couples...I won't mind if you spend it."

"You say that now, what if suddenly I become this materialistic bitch that wants to spend thousands of dollars in shoes and bags," she challenged.

"Ouch...that's a good description of Addison," he laughed, and she could not help but join in his laughter.

"That was mean Derek..." she giggled, "she had her own money too...lots of it..."

"Meredith...we're not going to fight about it...whatever I have, is yours...it's ours."

She decided to drop it, but it was something they'd need to talk about later, preferably before the got married she thought, and immediately caught herself, and thought about the fact that he had not even proposed.

"What has you looking so serious?"

"Nothing...I mean, just that it will be hard when we go back to work, all this pampering."

"Uh huh..." he said, not believing her for a second, but deciding not to push her. She'd talk to him when she was ready, he no longer had any doubts about that, they were making progress, each day they were talking, letting the other one in, sharing intimacies and pieces of themselves. He wouldn't rush her, they had a lifetime.

They brought dinner, and when she saw the dessert, she smiled.

"What are you smiling at?"

"Remembering..." she said, smiling back at him, "the first time I realized I was falling for you."

"It involved chocolate cake?"

"It did..." she smiled.