(Shattered...) Dreams Fulfilled

Passionate, poignant farewell

"Taming the beast exhausted you..."

"No, the beast tamed me," she said, and their joyous laugher filled the room.

"I love you Meredith."

"I love you Derek," she said and snuggled up to him. "Sleep...a couple of hours."

"Yes..." he agreed as they both gave in to pleasure filled exhaustion.

Derek watched her. At home, he thought, they most often fell asleep as he spooned her. But lately, specifically after the miscarriage, she'd begun to fall asleep with her head on his chest, and sometime during the night they'd fall back into the habitual position.

Tonight had been no different, except now, he lay awake on his back, pondering and worrying about old insecurities, the past month of their lives, as well as their future and their imminent return to Seattle. Thirty days exactly, he brooded as guilt took hold of his thoughts, since the night the stupidity and insensitivity of his actions had almost resulted in irreparable and irrevocable damage, yet somehow she'd managed to forgive him, and then their world had come crashing in around them, as the glimpse of an unexpected dream was shattered.

"Derek," she mumbled, her voice groggy as she turned to her back, instinctively seeking the warmth of his body.

"Go back to sleep," he said as he gathered her in his arms, and kissed her naked back when she snuggled up to him, just as she'd done before she'd fallen asleep.

"What time's it...why are you awake?"

"Shush...just sleep, we don't have to be up for a while."

"Derek, what's wrong?" she asked, as something in the tone of his voice alerted her to the change in his mood since they'd succumbed to sleep earlier.

"Nothing, get some rest, we have a long day tomorrow," he said as he kissed her shoulder, while at the same time gently rubbing her back.

"Hey..." she said lifting her head and meeting his gaze. "We promised...we talk."

"I love you," he said and kissed her softly, "get some rest. We don't have to be up for a few hours."

"Derek, you are not going to ruin my honeymoon by becoming dark and twisty."

"Your honeymoon," he was able to tease her, "I remember being an active participant...very vividly."

"You know what I mean," she smiled at him softly, and turned to lie on her stomach, their faces were merely inches away as he now lay on his side. "Derek...what happened...after we fell asleep?"

"Nothing, really," he told her, one arm gently and protectively over her back, while his other hand rested on the back of her head, bringing his lips to hers.

"You're frowning," she said after they broke their kiss, "why," she asked, and before he could answer, "you're not getting away with brooding and beating yourself up over some imaginary ..."

"Imaginary worrying," he attempted to joke, but failed.

"You're worried," she said, and he saw the cloudy mist over her eyes ever so briefly, "you...you're worried about us...you don't think we're going to make it?"

"Hey," he said, "who's being dark and twisty and jumping to conclusions now?"

"Derek Shepherd, we are not going to end the last night of our trip...our honeymoon, with this conversation."

"You're a very bossy wife," he joked with her.

"Yes, I am, and you already knew that. Start talking," she said as she turned to look at the time, "because, with that comment, I'm pretty sure you've used one of your two daily limits of jumping to conclusions ..."