(Shattered...) Dreams Fulfilled

Best man's Prerogative

"Grey, Shep...break it up, and share the joke with everybody," Mark said, "we've been traveling for a hell of a long time to be kept in the dark...about anything."

"Actually," Meredith said smiling while looking up at Derek, his arms still around her waist "we were wondering...how did the bets go?"

"Made a killing...left Karev in charge. Should have some extra money when we get back...helps a bit, to have insider information," he laughed, "good thing too that you're in on the cut...help Shep offset some of the cost of this trip."

"Oh my God, Derek, we haven't told them... Izzie and George and Alex, they'll feel left out...and they need to know too, and I need...I need to call them, they're my family too Derek...I don't want them to feel ..."

He silenced her with a quick kiss, "they know."

"They know," she said pulling away slightly, "how...who told them...and your sisters...do they know too...you want to tell them, don't you?"

"They know Meredith, Mom and Kathleen told them..."

"They did....and they haven't called," he felt her become rigid, "they...haven't called...they think it's a mistake...that you're marrying me," she said and looked down.

Kathleen witnessed the change in Meredith and was at their side in seconds hugging them both. "They know...and they were happy and excited and Jenna wanted to call you and talk to both of you right away, and we told them they were to leave the two of you alone...until after the wedding."

"You did...she did ..they ...Nancy..."

"Nancy," Mrs. Shepherd chimed in, "only wants to know that her brother is happy, and it was not easy trying to keep her away from this trip. Don't forget, she was the one that flew clear across the country for less than twenty four hours, after he missed Thanksgiving with us, just to make sure Derek was all right."

"Mom," Derek said, " you didn't tell me that she wanted to come, how did you keep her away?"

"Just a nudge of good old Catholic guilt," Mrs. Shepherd stated, and had all of them laughing except Meredith and Derek.

"How did you manage that?" Derek asked, soothingly caressing Meredith's back and feeling her begin to relax again.

"I offered to stay, and told her that she was right, that it would probably be much better if your sisters were here, that after waiting to see my son after over a year, it would be perfectly ok if I waited till you could find the time to visit me and I could meet my daughter in law..."

"That was the gentle reminder Shep," Kevin laughed, "then she brought out the big guns."

"The big guns, Kevin, what more..."Meredith asked, more curious each time about the facets to Derek's mother.

"Meredith," Kevin said, "after twenty years, I've learned every trick in her book."

"Kevin dear..."

"Mom," he told her, "I can't wait for the next twenty years of whatever you have up your sleeve."

"Neither can I Kevin," Mrs. Shepherd laughed, "neither can I."

"Ailene," Meredith asked again, "what were the big guns?"

"Oh, that was simple, I told her I was so glad my girls would have the opportunity to visit such a romantic city and be there with their brother and I just hoped that there would be another occasion for me to visit Venice, before I got much older and not even able to step in and out of a gondola..."

"Mom...that was hardly the big guns..." Kevin teased her.

"I suppose not," Ailene agreed, "Meredith, I told her they would need to take lots of pictures, especially the Bridge of Sighs..." she said still smiling, though now a bit of melancholy was heard in her voice, "it was something their father and I had always wanted to do."

"You did..." Derek and Meredith said simultaneously.

"Yes...we did...there's a legend you know," she smiled.

"We know," Meredith said, slipping out of his arms, and went to sit next to her and spoke directly to her, "that's...where Derek proposed."

"That's a beautiful spot, I want to hear all about it," Ailene told her, and placed her hand over hers.

"It was very romantic," Meredith smiled, and Derek felt his heart swell with pride for the characteristic gentle traits and compassion demonstrated by the woman he loved toward his mother.

"Mom" Kathleen said, "we can hear the story later, right now, we need these two to get out of here, so we can plan what we're doing tonight."

"Kev," Mark said, "Shep and I have been wondering since we last saw her, how the hell do you put up with her bossiness."

"She makes it worth my while," he laughed and winked at her, and Kathleen leaned in to kiss him, "very often..."

"He's made it worth mine, every day since we've been together," Kathleen added, "now, the men, get out of here...we'll meet up at the hotel, and Meredith...we'll see you in fifteen minutes, so we can take care of whatever else remains pending."

"But wait..." Meredith said, "what about Izzie and ..."

"Come on Grey," Mark said, "I'll fill you in...Derek, I'm taking her with me."

"What are you talking about," Derek said, "taking her with you where?"

"Her mom's not here...I'm the older brother here, so...my turn, I guess to have that talk with her," he said with a dead pan expression, and Cristina first then the rest roared with laughter.

"Mark...I hate to break the news to you," Mrs. Shepherd said, "I think they've already been practicing that talk."

Meredith was at first embarrassed by her comment, but then felt her hand squeezed gently, and smiled.

"All right then...bestman's prerogative...I get a talk with the bride," he said, "my new sister," he said. "You ok with that Shep," he asked so seriously, Derek realized how important to him it was.

"Go then," Kathleen said, "I don't care if these two stay...but Meredith...go..."

"Meredith," Mark said, as she got up and smiled at Derek, then followed him to a table in another room at The Florian, while on the way told her how the rest of her friends knew about the wedding.

"Mark," she said when they sat down, "I don't know all the details, but I gather you had to pull a lot of it together, thank you...it's meant a lot to me."

"He wanted you to have your family here...and let me tell you, I know if it had been possible he'd have wanted to drag the rest of your roommates, but no way in hell that could have happened , it was hard enough to get Yang and Lex here."

"Lex...you're calling her...Mark...she's my little sister...."

"Yeah she is," he said, smiling at her admission.

"Ok...I just sounded like an overly protective sister..." she rolled her eyes.

"It sounded lovely...I think you both needed the other. How are you?"

"I'm happy."

"I believe you are...but...everything else...you're ok?"

"It's been almost two weeks..." she said and placed her arm on top of his, "I'm ok...he's...he's been my strength...and now...he...he wanted to get married...right away...and...it's been hard and we talked a lot..." she said getting teary eyes, "but...I love him...I do...so much...and he loves me...and he said he didn't want to wait..."

"Meredith...he does...you are the most important person in his life, and I've known him for a long time, Meredith...he has never loved anyone like he loves you."

"I...I just want him to be happy...I want to be enough for him..."

"Ah...you see...the reason I wanted to talk to you...he wants you to be happy too."

"I know," she said without looking at him.

"We talked earlier...while you were out."

"And you decided to tease him..."

"No...that just happened, and it was to hard not too..." he smiled, "no pun intended."

"Mark..."

"Meredith, I was just trying to rile him, about the champagne bottle...and he told me, rather just a sentence, reminded me...about you...and..."

"It's ok Mark, we...we're ok."

"Yes, but then he told me about what happened today, at the jewelry store...what you said about Addison."

"He told you that...he...is he still upset with me?"

"He's worried that he hasn't done enough to reassure you, that you are all that matters, that what the two of you have together, it's nothing compared to their relationship."

"I...I get it..."

"I'm not sure that you do..."

"I'm surprised," she said, "that he talked to you about it."

"I didn't leave him too many options...and then, as I watched the two of you now...I knew it was time I shared something with you...because I don't think he would..."

"He...I don't want you to betray his confidences..."

"It's not his...but mine, and I don't think he'd betray mine, but I think...as you start your new life together...I want you to understand just how very different and special you are....that you don't have to compete with her...that he has no regrets...and that she is far from perfect...nor was the woman he thought he married."

"I don't understand..."

"A couple of weeks ago...when you...when ..."

"Lost the baby..." she finished.

"Yes, and I'm sorry...I don't want to bring this up...but..."

"It's ok, Mark..."

"I told him," he started, "that I would be there for him, that if he needed me...I wanted to offer my support...and he told me that I could not understand, what it meant to lose a child..."

"Mark..." she interrupted, "you mean...you ..."

"Addie and I lived together for two months after Derek left..."

"You what...did he know..." she asked thinking of the implications.

"Yes, he knows, he found out the day they got a divorce."

"Oh my God, that...he...that must have devastated him...but wait...you said he knew...and now...even with all of that, he's ...you're ok...the two of you."

"Yeah...we are, Meredith, it speaks of his loyalty...to the people he loves...that is very important to him, and she betrayed him, we both did, but she...she was not who he thought...me, hell it's true...I'm a man whore, but..."

"You're his friend, above all else...his brother."

"Yeah..." he said remaining quiet.

"What else happened Mark?"

"She was pregnant..."

"Oh my God..." she gasped, "Derek...she didn't tell him..."

"It wasn't Derek's child. She had an abortion, she thought I would have made a terrible father, so I told him, so he knew...I'd...sometimes...I too can understand."

"Mark," she said softly, "I'm so sorry..."

"She was right...I don't seem to be cut out for that..."

"I disagree...she was wrong. Derek and I thought you'd have made a wonderful godfather," she said and a tear slipped away.

"I would have...I would have tried..."

"You will be...one day...for us...and for your own children...I know it will happen."

"You think so..."

"Well, I can't guarantee it ...but I hope...that one day, there will be other babies for us, and you...are definitely the godfather...and you...well, you have to make the other happen."

"You still trust me...huh..."

"Absolutely...not a better godfather for our baby...one day..."

"Me and Lex..."

"Yeah...you and Lex...our next...our baby...you're the godparents," she said smiling, and suddenly she saw a gleam in his eyes...a bit of hope, and wondered, if maybe...just maybe...she shouldn't...

"What are you thinking Grey...I'm not sure I like that look..."

"Just thinking...of you as a dad..."

"Bite your tongue."

"Uhmm...I think you do protest a bit too much..." she smiled.

"Do not...even consider playing matchmaker, I know Shep already told you that."

"He doesn't tell me what to do..."

"You wanna bet... I know he told you to lay off when you were beginning to go down that path...stepping up the matchmaking role with Tracy.

"I was doing nothing of the sort..."

"Right," he laughed, "no matchmaking...I can do fine on my own."

"Oh...I agree...I just have to consider if I'm ok with your fine...on your own...if I can...well, we'll just have to see..."

"What are you rambling about....Grey...."

"Nothing Mark. Only that I think...actually, I know one day you'll make a wonderful father...and I fully expect Derek and I ...may be in the running...for godparents."

"You think you're so smart..."

"No...not really...I'm actually scared as hell I may be right."

"You'd turn down...you'd be scared as hell to be godmother to my child?"

"No...I just have to reconsider...who the mother might be..." she smiled, not understanding herself what had made her thoughts turn the direction they did.

"And...you haven't been drinking...before we saw you...have you?"

"Two glasses of champagne," she laughed.

"Do you understand," he said more seriously, "now...do you see why you...only you are important to him?"

"Was he...was he very upset, when you told him?"

"About what she did...he was very upset, it was further proof he didn't know her...and he was mad as hell at me for not telling him right away...for the time, the months that the two of you could have been together...instead of him trying...still trying to work things out for a marriage that had absolutely no hope of surviving."

"Did you...love her?"

"I thought I did...sometimes...I wonder what it would have been like...us together...a child together."

"Did you try to convince her...about having ..."

"She didn't give me a chance...but, part of me got it...I'd gone out..." he said in an unusual reflective mood, "bought a Yankees...onesie, she called it, and a calendar and circled the due date...then I fucked up...I cheated on her."

"Mark..."

"It's ok...Meredith...maybe...I've learned a lesson."

"I'm sorry..."

"It wasn't meant to be...and now...she's moved on..."

"Have you?"

"I hope so..."

"Thank you...for telling me...for trusting me with your confidence."

"I want him...and you to be happy, to go into this marriage knowing that there has never been anyone...but you to make him feel that way he does...Meredith, he's like a kid...wanting to make you happy...regretting all he's done to hurt you."

"I've hurt him too Mark."

"But...you are together...that's all that matters to him...that you forgave him."

"I love him. I have loved him forever."

"As he has loved you..." he said, feeling a bit sentimental.

She reached out for his hand, and he turned his and she found hers enfolded in both of his, "Mark, thank you...being here...being his friend...for being my knight...and my...brother too."

"It's family, Meredith...it's what families do..." he said and leaned over to kiss her cheek just as Derek walked in.

"Uhmmm," he said, and came over to sit with them, their hands remained in each others, knowing their friendship had been sealed, "looks like I got here just in time."

"You did," she said, "we've just sealed a pact."

"You have..." he questioned.

"You and I will be godparents to his first child..."

"I didn't know he was having one..."

"You'd be surprised," she smiled, and releasing Mark's hand reached for Derek's, "you have no idea...how surprised."

"Shep, you need to have a long talk with her, she's been rambling...I've no idea what the hell she's talking about."

"What makes you think I can figure out her rambling," Derek winked at her.

"You're an expert...I've seen it. Shit, I seemed to figure Xena's rambles for the last twenty four hours, and that was something...let me tell you, but Mer...she's way over my head today."

Derek looked at Meredith's smile and raised an eyebrow and she just shrugged her shoulders, a gave Derek a look that had him questioning her, "Meredith...."

"What..."

"We've talked about this..."

"Derek...are they done? How long before they finish all their planning, which by the way...we don't need so much to be going on...seriously...we only have hours...Derek...hours before we get married, and they have a dinner...and shopping...or touristy things...now...and a shower...and I can't see you after midnight...seriously..."

Derek leaned over and kissed her and she felt his smile upon her lips, "diversion...nice try...Grey..."

"Aren't I going to be Shepherd...soon..." she smiled back.

"You learned well," he laughed and kissed her, "diversion."

"Shit, Shep, you are as bad as she is...rambling. "Now I have four of you here, cause Yang has been as quiet as a church mouse."

"Mark, you know Cristina," Derek commented.

"Yeah...maybe it's best...she's quiet, rather than her usual biting remarks, though your Mom had her talking, whether she wanted to or not on the way here."

"Mark..."

"It's true Shep...I don't know what the hell they talked about, but Mom didn't allow to stay quiet."

"They talked a lot..." Meredith questioned.

"She moved to sit with her through dinner," Mark laughed.

"You all sat together...even though they were all last minute reservations," Meredith commented.

"Flight wasn't too full...and Cristina had an empty seat beside her."

"Who did you sit with?"

"I was all by myself...except Lex and I had dinner together, then Mom had her sit with her again. Mer did you know she has a photographic memory?"

"Lexie...or Ailene?"

"Your sister...Lexie..."

"No...I don't believe I knew that..."

"Pretty amazing," Mark laughed.

"Hey," Lexie walked in, "we're ready to go."

"Xena...your sister didn't know you had a photographic memory..."

"It hasn't come up...I guess...but why would you even talk about that...I mean...it's sort of an off the wall topic."

"Yeah...it was," Mark said, and walking standing next to her, ruffled her hair, "come on Xena, these two want a moment alone before the Shepherd females take over the rest of the day."

"Busy day," Derek said when they were alone, "you and Mom...you seem ok."

"She's wonderful...I had no idea what to expect...I don't know why you never really talk about her..."

"Meredith...we hardly talked about ourselves...family...talking about family...well...there was Nancy."

"You have a point..." she smiled, "but...Derek...we've talked...a lot...lately...we're ok...right, about all the talking...and..."

"We're perfect," he said, "and we have the rest of our lives...to talk..." he kissed her, "some more."

"Tonight..." she said.

"If I had any idea about her customs and traditions, I'd have kept them away," he told her.

"Oh no...Derek...I'm glad...so glad they're here, and it's only...only one more night," she said apologetically.

"Mer..." he said softly, "you're happy...I can see it...that they're here..."

"Yes...thank you...for making it all happen," she said and kissed him back.

"You see...for that...your smile, seeing you happy...waiting...one night....one week...one month...it would be worth it...as long as you're happy."

"I am...vw ery happy...but, Derek..." she murmured in a low seductive voice against his lips.

"Uhmmmm."

"Do not even consider taking it slow..." she said and deepened their kiss.

"Who'd have thought..." he said, as they ended their kiss and looked at each other, "we'd wait to have sex...on our wedding night."

"The stuff of fairy tales...and legends..." she smiled and they laughed as he captured her mouth and left her breathless.

"Ok...Mer...Shepherd, they're waiting for you so we can leave, get on with the day...maybe you can finish this later."

"Cristina...we'll be right there," Meredith told her, but Cristina insisted.

"I was told to make sure you both came with me."

"Well, you're going to have to tell them, we'll be right there."

"You can get back to this later, Meredith...it's not like the two of you aren't at this all the time."

"Cristina," he said, "please tell them we'll be there shortly." And she walked out of the room.

"I don't understand her Derek, she is always so ..."

"Harsh," he said.

"Not quite the word...but, I'll spend some time with her later."

"I think that's it...she doesn't like to share the time with you."

"That's childish...Derek..." she said and he raised an eyebrow.

"You're her person...who hasn't spent any time with her since she got here."

"But...that's...it's not like I don't want to spend time with her."

"I know," he said kissing the top of her head, "now tell me...what's on your mind."

"We...we don't have to talk about it now...but...Mark, he told me about Addison."

"What about her?"

Meredith raised her hand, running through his hair, "what happened between them...that he told you...about her being pregnant."

"Ah..."

"We don't have to talk about it...now...but, if you ever do...we can...I mean...even after we're married...if we need to talk about it."

"Do you want to talk about it now?"

"Not really...just...we don't have a lot of time, so maybe later...it will be important for us to talk about it ...how you felt..."

"You get that the way I love you...is nothing like what was between us?"

"That's what he wanted me to know," she smiled. "I told him...my fears, insecurities....about her, I just want to make you happy...for us to be happy."

"We are...and we will be..." he said kissing her softly.

"We should go...before they send out someone else to look for us," she smiled and kissed him back.

"Let's go," he said as he pulled her into his arms for one final embrace and then walked holding hands to meet their family.

"Well," she said, "here we are, and since Mark said we made some money... guess I'll have to go shopping, spend bit more money while I'm here."

"You're thinking of shopping?" Cristina said. "You surprise me...Mer...seriously, you get here and act like all the tourists."

"I'm planning on shopping...this afternoon," Ailene Shepherd commented. "Part of the fun of being a tourist. Cristina, surely you enjoy some of that."

"Not really," Cristina replied.

"Well, that must be because you've never been shopping with the Shepherd women, and now that Meredith will be a Shepherd soon..." she said.

"A Shepherd soon," Cristina repeated, "Meredith, seriously, you aren't going to change your name are you?"

The room was silent, at the tone she used, and Mrs. Shepherd was ready to say something when Kathleen put a hand on her arm to stop her, but she was ignored.

"Cristina, dear, I'm sure that is something Meredith and Derek will discuss, it has certainly been quite busy for them to think about it, I'm sure, and as far as shopping, you don't have to join us...like all tourists, you're free to spend the afternoon on your own doing something less touristy."

Mark snickered. Derek took a deep breath and shook his head. Kevin reached for Kathleen's hand and mouthed the word ouch. Lexie lowered hear head.

Meredith spoke up, "Ailene, you're right, Derek and I haven't even talked about it, and as far as Cristina is concerned, I'm sure she will find a way to make this afternoon an enjoyable experience."

"Shep, let's leave the women to work things out," Mark laughed, "we've got a wedding dress to buy for you."

"Don't be an ass," Derek said laughing, and leaned over to give Meredith a kiss on the lips, "buy whatever you want, let it be my treat...please..."

"Have fun boys..." she said smiling, and kissed Derek on the cheek.

"Finally, they're out of our hair," Kathleen joked, "Meredith...really, you give Derek so much attention."

"What...why not. We're getting married. Kathleen...we're getting married tomorrow..." she smiled.

"Yes...we know..." Cristina commented, "we need blinders for all the bright and shiny going around."

"Cristina, you really need to chill or I'm going to be pissed as hell at you."

Ailene smiled at her comment. "She's concerned about you Meredith, I certainly get that, and that my son has been an ass, as you girls would say. But Cristina, he loves Meredith and she obviously loves him, so let's make this a nice a pleasant and memorable experience for them, for all of us."

"Mrs. Shepherd, Meredith she gets it...my comments, we just talk that way to each other."

"I get that dear, if not, I'd have made my opinion heard much more clearly."

"Where are we going?" Meredith asked.

"We actually have a destination...but, we can do a bit of window shopping or more...on our way there," Lexie said.

"Where is the destination?"

"Oh... a store...for your bridal shower presents."

"Really... I don't need that...you don't have to buy any presents, you're all here, that's enough."

"Mer, don't be an idiot, even I know we have to buy presents," Cristina told her, as they all walked out to the square, "and Shepherd, he's taken care of everything, all the expenses...Sloane made sure we knew that."

"Not only that," Lexie said as she walked next to the two friends, while Kathleen and her mother walked out together, "he made sure all of us flew business class, Mer, he's thought of everything...and really there was no need for him to spend that kind of money, but he did...and Mark said..."

"Seriously, you all flew here in business?"

"He can afford it Meredith," Cristina stated.

"He brought you all over here...that was enough, Cristina and seriously, if you can't find a way to say something nice about him, if all you're going to do is criticize him, then just go back to the hotel...please...if you can't be supportive, then...just go back...you don't have to participate...if you find all of this so distasteful."

"I didn't say that..."

Meredith stopped just as they walked beyond St. Mark's square and were now on a smaller side street. "Look Cristina, I love him...yes, he's hurt me...we have hurt each other, but I'm going to marry him...because I love him...and I agree with him, whatever we need to work out, we will do together...and if you can't accept that...then...really..." she said as she felt the tears gather, the emotions still fighting the excess of hormones, "just go back..."

Cristina was shocked that she spoke to her that way, she was used to Meredith's doubts and insecurities, second guessing her relationship with Derek, but this...she wasn't sure how to deal with.

"Go back Cristina..." she said meeting her gaze, "no need for pretense...just go back,"

Lexie did not want to get in the middle of their conversation and slowed down to meet up with Kathleen and Ailene to keep them from overhearing the conversation, began to make chit chat as they admired some of the shop windows. "You know, I was thinking, since Mark was able to arrange that we go back on Friday morning, Thursday could be a great day for sightseeing."

"You're a good sister, Lexie," Ailene Shepherd told her and gave her a kiss on the cheek, "but I truly don't understand their friendship," she indicated towards Cristina and Meredith, whose poise made it evident were not having a pleasant conversation.

"She's been there for her, Ailene, she really has...they understand each other somehow."

"Lexie, your sister needs people that care about her and support her, not those to constantly make her second guess herself, that is not what friendship is about, I think she's just afraid Derek will take time away from her, and that is a very selfish attitude."

"Mom, you can't get involved in that."

"I'm not planning on it."

"Well," Kathleen chuckled, "you've already made it clear what you think."

"I tried to talk to her, on the plane, but she's as closed a book as I've ever..."

"Mom, we don't all get to be lucky enough to have a mother ...a family like ours."

"Ok...I see it coming, the buttering up."

"Be serious, you know I'm right."

"I know honey, it just ...you were right, once you meet her, you want to nurture her, take care of her...and I hate how Cristina treats her, her attitude is...very unpleasant."

"They're friends Ailene, really it works for them...somehow."

"How do you feel about her?" she asked Lexie.

"I think she's been there for Meredith...through a lot of issues, and they are friends. I'm just glad I was able to build a relationship with my sister...even...if...."

"You're very sweet, she ...well, let's just say, I think you both are very good for each other, and I'm not asking any questions, but something's happened...something's going on...that all of you know about...and I don't...but I'm going to wait, not much longer, but I'm going to wait, before I ask Meredith and Derek straight out."

"Mom..."

"They've been hurting Kathleen, I know they have...and she even admitted, they'd been going through some sadness in their life, and I need to know they are ok."

"Mom...they are..."

"They are Ailene...they really are," Lexie added, "and their sadness...yes...it's there still but, Mer, she's going to talk to you about it, just give her time."

"She promised me that they are both ok, that neither of them is sick...just tell me, that is the truth...please...tell me there is nothing wrong in that regard."

"There isn't Mom, I promise you that."

"All right now. I'm giving them a few more minutes, that is all, I am not going to let that girl ruin her mood, she was happy, and now look at her," Ailene said, "Cristina can leave us to spend the rest of the day in peace."

"Ailene," Lexie said, "my mom would have loved you...that you're being so protective of her, and Derek...and Mark...I think they'd name you Xena 3," she smiled, earning a hug from Ailene Shepherd, which Meredith saw out of the corner of her eye.


"Meredith," Cristina said, "I'm here...I came to be at your wedding."

"I need more than that," she snapped back, "I need you to be here because you care...because you care about me...and being my person...that means...that right now...while I'm trying to reach for that chance to be happy...it means you're there with me...believing even dark and twisty Meredith has a chance...in spite of it all...in spite of my mother and father not loving ...not loving me enough...that I have a chance ...because he loves me," she said as a tear slid down her cheek, and she wiped it away, "I believe he loves me..."

"That is enough," Ailene said suddenly, "she is crying, I'm putting a stop to this."

"Mom...no."

"Kathleen..."

"No, Mom, I know you mean well, but that is their conversation, not ours...let's walk along," she said, "they can meet up with us."

"I'll, stay behind...meet up with you...I know you wanted to go to the lace store, I'll make sure we get there."

"Lexie dear, these streets are labyrinths ...people get lost all the time..."

"Yes, they do...but they don't all have a photographic memory like mine, and I saw the map," she smiled, "go on...I'll make sure she's ok."

They walked past them and Lexie approached them, though keeping a distance.

"It's fine Cristina, it doesn't matter," Meredith said resigned.

"It does matter..." Cristina said quietly, "it matters to you...so it does...I'm here...I care...you're my person...that means something."

"What exactly does it mean?"

"That I'm on your side...no matter what happens, I am on your side."

"I love him...can't you see that, can't you see that he loves me..."

"Sometimes, love isn't enough."

Meredith, whose gaze had not wavered said, "it is this time...I know it deep in my heart...to the very depth of my soul...this time it is enough."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because, the voice of your soul does not lie...and I've looked in his eyes, and have seen the very depth of his soul...as he held me while he cried...we both cried as we said goodbye to our baby...and the day he proposed...and that night...I have seen the depth of his love...I have looked in his eyes and seen the very core of his soul as he has seen mine."

"I'm sorry," Cristina said, an uncharacteristic sheen in her eyes.

"Don't be sorry...be my friend...my person...but if you can't trust what I'm telling you...you can go...I am not ever going to let anyone come between us again...or undermine him...undermine us...what he feels for me...what we feel for each other. We belong together..."

"Yes...you do...I've seen that...and you do, and I'm sorry...I'm sorry for all of this...it was not my intention to upset you."

"What are you going to do Cristina?"

Cristina looked at her friend and clearly understood the depth of the feelings between Meredith and Derek, and she could accept that or be left behind.

"I'm on your side, always and I told you before, you would not have to choose. You are my person...and I'm here because I care, and wanted to share your happiness on your wedding day. Now, I'm going shopping, apparently for your wedding shower."

"You..." Meredith said, emotions on the surface, "you mean that."

"I do," she said and for the briefest of moments hugged her, and to detract from the depth of her own emotions, called out, "Xena, let's go...you can stop hovering, we did not kill each other."

"I...I was not...hovering," she said as she walked the short distance between them, "I was...just waiting so you would not get lost along the way."

"Uh huh..." Meredith said and when she was next to her reached out for her sister and hugged her, "I've missed you, Lexie, thank you for caring."

"You're my sister."

"Your big sister and don't forget it," she said, "and by the way, no more flirting with Mark."

"Oh, Mer...he's harmless."

"That's what I'm afraid of," she joked, "all his harmless," and muttered, "endearing ways."

Meredith was glad to have the short walking time before meeting up with Ailine and Kathleen to compose herself. She wished her emotions could be more easily controlled, but already twice today she'd unexpectedly had to deal with talking about her miscarriage, and she knew her hormones were obviously still affecting her and would likely remain so for a few more weeks. She sensed it would come up again, and it weighed heavily on her, as she did want to tell Kathleen and Ailene about her dream, and today would be the only opportunity during this trip.

"There you are girls," Ailene greeted them as they walked out of Jesurum, an old established store since the eighteen hundreds carrying some of the finest Venetian lace and linens. "I will show you later, but I bought a beautiful tablecloth for a very special occasion, the first Sunday dinner that Derek and Meredith join us."

"Meredith, we decided to cut out any sightseeing today, we'll leave that till Thursday since the girls don't go back till Friday morning, so the afternoon is pretty much to do whatever you want...until we go off to run some errands," Kathleen said.

"So are you telling me," Meredith said, strolling along side by side with Kathleen, "you want to get rid of me."

"Wherever would you get an idea like that," Kathleen laughed, and drew her close enough to speak quietly, "we haven't had a chance to talk...how are you?"

"I'm ok."

"Meredith...you and Derek...last time we spoke."

"Kathleen...he has been wonderful."

"You look happy," she said, as Ailene walked ahead with Lexie and Cristina, actually engaging Cristina in conversation, "and this ring...is gorgeous."

"As though you didn't know...he told me you saw it..."

"I only agreed that it was a beautiful choice."

"I have so much to tell you...how he proposed," she said, the happiness she felt reflected in her voice, "even our argument ..."

"You argued after he proposed..."

"It's a long story...but we're happy...we are...and our misunderstanding...not so much an argument, it allowed us to have a very important conversation...one that helped us really understand what we wanted, and Kathleen...I'm happy...and he is too...and we're getting married," she smiled. "We probably won't have time to talk a lot on this trip, but you are coming to visit...right?"

"I'm not sure whose company you want more, Mom's or mine," she teased her.

"Oh...Kathleen...she's wonderful...I can't believe how nervous I was about meeting her. You get a bit from her, her sense of humor."

"We all do...we actually all have something that is very uniquely her..."

"She's lovely. I am...we are...thank you, for being here."

"Are you kidding, my brother is getting married...to the love of his life...and I know I'm her favorite sister in law...where else would I be?"

"You'll come to visit?"

"We will...count on it. Meredith, everything ok with you and Cristina?"

"It will be...I told her she if she wants to be in my life, that includes Derek..."

"You know...Mer...it's been the two of you...there for one another, that...can be a little frightening...when you think you won't be as important in someone's life."

"But...I'm not doing that...I mean...there's no reason for that to happen."

"Honey, there is...you and Derek...you'll be married, he'll be there all the time...it happens, couples adjusting to marriage and to living together, friends don't get as much time from us."

"I know...but, when she was getting married...to Burke...I was supportive, I wanted that for her...that she was going to have someone...I would think she'd want that for me."

"She does...Meredith, but she also knows your relationship will change, and Derek...becomes your priority."

"I'm not going to forget my friends...they are really my family," she said, "oh, look, your mother's going in to another store," she laughed.

"She's going to have to buy presents for everyone back home, I just didn't think she'd start on the first day," Kathleen told her.

"Does she do this every time she travels...I mean, I don't know how much she travels...but..."

"Every time...she takes at least one big trip a year...but wherever she goes, most of the time brings souvenirs back for everyone, at the very least the kids."

"Kat, sometime tonight...I need to talk to you...both of you..."

"Mer...is something wrong?"

"No...not at all...just something I want to share with you both."

"You're not going to tell me...what it is?"

"No...I'll tell you together...it's a dream, Kat, a very special dream."

"We'll make the time," she said, "now, let's go see what Mom's up to," but stopped suddenly as she realized her mother had walked in to a baby clothing store. "We can wait out here."

"It's ok...Kathleen," she said, as she pulled opened the door and braced herself to deal with the emotions it would evoke.

"Meredith...honey...don't put yourself through this."

"It's ok," she said as they joined the others.

"Kathleen...you have to look at these," her mother said, "they are adorable," she said as Cristina and Lexie looked on and interrupted.

"Mer...you want to go on ahead and meet up with Ailene later," Lexie said.

"That would be a good idea," Cristina added.

"I'm not going to be long, I promise, and look at these things," she said holding up several outfits, "I have to buy this Kathleen, I'm sure Jenna's having a girl."

"Mom...maybe we can come back later, after the wedding..." Kat said in a serious enough tone for her mother to stop and look at her.

"Honey...how can you resist, look at these...Meredith, don't you think they're adorable?"

"They are," Meredith answered, as she ran her finger softly over the pink two piece velour pajamas with a little hippo bearing a white belly. But then she saw the pair of red cotton striped booties that bore the word B.E.A.R. written in such a way they, that the B.E. and A.R. were separated with a small appliqué of a tiny bear face, and a soft gasp involuntary escaped her.

Ailene Shepherd heard the anguish in the soft gasp and she looked over at the young woman who in less than twenty four hours would be her daughter in law. The young woman who in less than a few hours after meeting her, she'd already begun to think of as her daughter, and saw the sadness she'd spoken to her about, the longing in her eyes, the haunting distant look, and she was certain she understood what her son and Meredith had recently experienced.