(Shattered...) Dreams Fulfilled

Bonds of Love

Meredith spent several hours with Lexie before she took the two o'clock ferry to Bainbridge Island, still giving her enough time to get dinner before Derek met up with her. He wanted to show her the site during daylight hours, which meant he was leaving the hospital very early that afternoon.

She hadn't counted on being totally exhausted by the time she got to the trailer, and did little else but put the food away, then went to lay down for a short nap, and before she knew it, soft lips brushed hers.

"Hey," he whispered as her eyes opened, a bit disoriented, and he sat next to her on the bed.

"I fell asleep... I was so tired."

"It looks that way, and I really didn't want to wake you, but we don't have a lot of time before the sun sets."

"I could get use to this...you kissing me awake...all the time," she said as she sat up and brushed her lips over his.

"As much as I'd like to stay here and kiss you...and ...show you how much I love you...we have to go."

"You're not going to make me walk in the wilderness...and then walk back in the pitch black night, are you?"

"You of little faith...."

"What does faith have to do with mud and bugs and critters...and pitch black terrain..."

"Ask me later," he said as he kissed her one more time, "get up...let's go."

"I have food for us...I thought... well, maybe we'd eat outdoors...under the moonlight..."

"Uhmmm...she does have romance in her..."

"Not if you're going to make fun of me," she teased.

"All our evening plans are taken care of," he told her smugly.

"You're not going to make me walk all the way, are you Derek?"

"No, I never knew you were this lazy," he teased here, "we'll get as close as we can, you need to put some boots on."

"Boots...Derek I don't have boots to wander around the wild..."

"Of course you do, I got them for you..."

"You did..."

"I did...the minute you agreed to come with me."

"Oh..." she whispered coming up to him...and kissing him lightly, "thank you."

"You're welcome," he kissed her back.

"We need to take food with us...it's all packed and ready to go," she told him.

"What...uhm...what do we have..."

"Stop whining, I know you'll like it...where are the boots?"

While she put the boots on, he got everything out of the refrigerator and placed in the large cooler she had seen earlier, and told her he'd be right back.

"Ready?" he asked when he came back inside the trailer.

"Ready," she said extending her hand to his, and walking out to his car.

Derek had forty acres of land, and as he drove them to the location he'd chosen to build heir house, she could feel his excitement build right before he stopped on the muddy trail surrounded by sky high trees and endless foliage with a small clearing obviously leading to some predetermined destination.

"Wait for me here...I'll be right back."

"Why can't I come with you?"

"You will...just give me a few minutes," he said and took the cooler with him, returning several minutes later, and opening the door stood in front of her, plainly nervous.

"Derek," she said softly and raised her hand to caress the day's growth dark stubble, "why are you nervous?"

"I'm not."

"Yes, you are..." she said leaning in to kiss him, "does that mean I should be nervous too?"

"I...just hope you like it," he said, admitting his nervousness in those few words.

"I'm sure I will..." she said, and let him take her hand and lead the way.

The last rays of sun had already begun to disappear as they walked in the direction of the site he had chosen for their home. He walked briskly, too excited to diminish his pace, when he felt an involuntary quiet gasp and felt the slight resistance in her grasp.

"Meredith," he stopped, "what's wrong....Meredith, talk to me you've gone pale...you're white as a sheet..." he said and held her close.

"I...I don't know...just it's odd...very bad cramping...Derek," she said while squeezing his hand, "I don't know what's wrong...I've never had this before...and just now...very bad...and... "

"Take a deep breath...I'm here...you're ok."

She was thankful he was holding her close, and dared not admit to him that the all too familiar dizziness she'd been experiencing during the last twenty four hours had come back with a vengeance, as everything spun around her.

"Just hold me...ok...just for a moment...it's going away."

"I'm not going anywhere," he told her, drawing her closer and gently massaging her back.

"I'm ok...it's better now...I'm sorry..."

"Hey, there's nothing to be sorry about," he told her and without warning, lifted her up in his arms."

"Derek, put me down," she said, due much more to the additional sensation of dizziness, then wanting to be put down.

"Let me be your knight..."

"You already are..." she whispered, closing her eyes and letting him carry her.

He continued to walk towards the perfect spot he'd prepared for their evening, but the excitement he'd felt was clouded by concern, even more so having heard her admit that something may be wrong.

"Here we are," he said, "will you be ok if I put you down."

"Derek, of course I will, that was just a fluke...I told you, it's just odd for me, so it surprised me."

He was not going to argue with her now, but they had to talk about what her symptoms were, because if she was not pregnant, something was definitely not right.

He put her down and turned her around slowly. "What do you think?"

She reached out for his hand, unable to say anything after taking in her surroundings.

"Meredith...say something... please..."

She turned to him, snuggled into him and started to cry.

"You don't like it...you hate it."

Burying her face in his chest, she whimpered, "you...you did this...for me?"

He wasn't quite sure what she meant at first, but quickly realized she was talking about the set up he'd prepared.

"Meredith," he asked her gently, "you need to help me here...are you crying because you hate the view...or because you like the romantic atmosphere I've tried to create, or something I've completely missed."

"I....I don't...don't hate the view," she said, looking up at him, "but, you did this...all this...for me."

"Of course it's for you...I wanted tonight to be special."

"Oh, Derek...it's so special...you...you...it's all your fault I'm crying."

"Ok... but can you tell me why you're crying....please."

"It's beautiful...Derek, the view it's....it's just spectacular and beautiful."

"So...why are you crying?"

"Because...you made this so ....you did this for me...and nobody has ever done special things like this for me," she told him, breaking his heart at the same time.

"I want to spend the rest of my life doing things like this for you," he said, his voice hoarse with emotion, "all you need to do is let me."

"I'm not going to fight you...not anymore...I'm going to let you...because...this feeling, Derek, this feeling...only you can make me feel this way...only you make me feel like... that I'm...that I'm not ordinary...and I don't ever want it to stop."

"Oh, Meredith," he said with tears in his eyes, "you are extraordinarily special, and only you make me feel like my world is perfect...perfect only when you're in it."

Their gazes locked, reflecting a timeless love and passion and instinctively their lips found each other, and both could taste the salty tears mingled in their kiss.

The kiss that sealed the bonds of their love for a lifetime. Bonds that unbeknownst to them would be put to the harshest of tests in the days ahead. But, ultimately the power of love, their love for each other, would dictate the survival of their relationship forever.

Long after their kiss ended, they held on to each other and he turned her around to face the sunset, wrapping his arms around her and gently laying his hands on her stomach, as he felt her hands rest over his.

This moment, bittersweet at times, they would never forget as the vibrant orange, yellow, purple, red and indigo hues of the sun setting on the western sky cast the last moments of light upon two lovers destined to share a lifetime.

"Derek," she whispered, "thank you for not giving up on us ...for this beautiful moment."

"Please don't ever thank me for following my heart...giving up wasn't an option...I love you, Meredith...always...I love you..." he whispered against her hair, "I love you," and though barely audible, she could have sworn she heard him say, "both," as he gently caressed her abdomen bringing his hand to rest above hers.

Minutes passed in silence each reveling at the fortune of being in each other's arms.

"Derek, how did you this, how did you manage?"

"The sunset..." he teased, "I had nothing to do with that, or the view."

She smiled and turned around to face him, "how did you set all of this up, when?"

He reached for her hand and brought her close to the edge of the cliff, "do you really like this, the view?"

"It's spectacular...but you'd never brought me here before."

"I came upon it not long ago, and then I always wanted to surprise you...with the house plans and the location."

"Derek, I didn't... it wasn't my intention to ruin that for you."

"Hey," he told her lifting her chin to meet his gaze, "we're together, all of those things we went through...they just brought us closer together."

"I have the house plans...and...maybe we can really go over them...soon."

"No more dropping eggs..." he laughed, "at the thought of the house being yours too?"

She punched his arm playfully, "didn't you just say all that brought us closer together."

"So I did..."

"Derek, I want to know how you set all this up? When did you have time?"

"When I told you I had to come home last night...I wanted to get everything together and put it in the car, and then I stopped by here on my way to the trailer before I came to get you, and I'd already left the cooler ready with everything I wanted."

"It's perfect...the chairs and the table and the hurricane lamp..." she murmured, "it's so romantic."

"I recall you've mentioned once or twice wanting to have some romance, and I haven't done a very good job at doing that."

"This...makes up for all of it," she told him as she pulled on his hand and walked to the chairs sitting side by side with the table between and facing the dying hues of the setting sun as it disappeared in the horizon and dusk officially set in.

"I wanted candles, but not very practical, so I settled for the hurricane lamp."

"I would not change a thing...but, why were you nervous, before we got out of the car, you were nervous."

"I wanted you to like it...especially after...well, the issue with the house..."

"Well, I guess it's possible I may have reacted just a little too strongly."

"I love you, Meredith," he said leaning in to kiss her softly.

"You," she laughed, "are a fraud...and you're not going to be able to use that line every time you want to avoid getting in hot water."

"I don't know what you're talking about," he told her without giving in to the desire to laugh at her, and took out a bottle of wine and began to uncork it.

"I feel too happy right now to argue with you... but you know...you're dying to agree with me...and point out that I was, as you say, a bit irrational," she laughed.

"What did you bring us for dinner?"

"You are perfectly safe...I bought all organic healthy stuff."

"You did what? No pizza?"

"I eat other things other than pizza Derek."

"Uhmmmm."

"You don't believe me..."

"I've seen you eat."

"I went to Real Foods Market..."

"You're kidding, you actually bought healthy food."

"I was sort of I the mood...and I know you like it....so...as long as I get dessert, it's ok, I wanted to please you tonight."

"Uhmmm...I can think of many ways you can please me..."

"So can I...but we're not doing that..."

"Even my romantic overtures...get me nothing..."

"I don't know about nothing...but..."

"Meredith, we're here together, that's enough...I said I'd wait...it's ok."

"Even if I wanted to Derek...tonight...today...the cramping...all of it...not a very good day..."

"I know," he said and kissed her with exquisite tenderness.

It was quiet early for dinner, as the sun set right after five o'clock at this time of year, and he sat down in one of the wood chairs he'd brought from the trailer and pulled her down to sit on his lap, holding her close in his embrace.

She snuggled closer to him resting her head on his chest. "I had lunch with Lexie, and went to see her apartment."

"Did you like it?"

"No, but I didn't say anything, and I don't know why they couldn't get a nicer place."

"I guess I have Xena2 on my hands...the big sister watching out..."

"Oh, don't be stupid...I just worry about her making the right decision, Derek the apartment is awful."

"It's her decision," he said as he continued to caress the hand he held in his.

"I know. We also went to my...to Thatcher's to get some things...and she wanted to make sure he was ok...she'd promised Molly, so I went with her...you know so she wouldn't be alone..."

"Ramblers...brilliant and excellent doctors...Xena 1 & 2," he laughed.

"You think she's a brilliant doctor?"

"No, I think you're a brilliant doctor...she's going to be excellent."

"It's nice Derek, having her...having her in my life now."

She felt the vibration of his phone and asked him, "aren't you going to get that?"

"I'm sure it can wait....this is our evening."

"Derek, it could be an emergency.

"They'll call back."

Sure enough, a couple of minutes later the phone was emitting vibrating signals.

"Derek, get the phone, at least look at it."

"It's not important, I can call back, it's my sister."

"Derek, answer it," she ordered him.

"Bossy, aren't you."

"Do it."

"Hello Jenna...no, I am not avoiding you."

Meredith rolled her eyes at his comment, and laid her head back on his shoulder as she listened to the one sided conversation.

"I told you, I'll do my best...hey, how are you feeling? Morning sickness gone?"

"Good, he should be helping with the kids... he is half responsible for them."

"Jenna, I told you, I'll know next week...right now, well I can't give you an answer...well, because I can't...Meredith and I may ...well we may be tied up at that time," he said and involuntarily brought his hand to her abdomen and caressed her. We'll know for sure next week."

Meredith lifted her head and looked at him incredulously. He really had not given up on he idea that she was pregnant.

"Jenna, come on, don't do that... please... you know I can't stand your tears... since you were old enough to turn that faucet on me...I can't say no... but look this is important, I promise you...I'll let you now next week, and if we can make it..."

Meredith in a move that shocked all three of them, took the phone away from Derek.

"Jenna, hi, this is Meredith."

"Meredith, really? I can't believe you took the phone way from him and I'm talking to you."

"Neither can he...and I ... I expect all three of us are wearing the same expression of shock... even if clear across the country," she giggled.

"It's nice to talk to you, finally, after all this time."

"Well...it's not... I really wouldn't ... you know.. never take the phone away from him....but...well, in this case, I though it was important that he make a decision."

"You don't mind, that he comes?"

"Of course not, I though he'd already purchased his tickets when he told me you were pregnant. By the way, congratulations."

"Thank you. It was a bit of a surprise, but we're thrilled."

"So is he, very excited in fact, and Jenna, he'll be there, he'll be there for your baby's baptism...and...well, if you don't mind...if it's ok...I'll be traveling with him," she reached out for his hand hesitantly, but he didn't, and placed her hand in his.

"Oh my God, Meredith, seriously? You're both going to make it?"

"Yes, if that's ok, I'll be coming with him."

"Of course it's ok, we're all dying to meet you, well except Nancy, but she's, well, you've already met her, and we're not like her. Truly Meredith we all want to meet you."

"I'd like to meet all of you too."

"Everyone is going to be delighted."

"It was nice talking to you Jenna...hope you're feeling better, the morning sickness that is...hope you're feeling better soon."

"Thanks Meredith...it was really nice to talk to you."

"Let me put your brother on the phone, I think he's recuperated from his shock."

"Derek...she's wonderful...and just like you said she rambles...I cannot wait to meet her."

"I can't wait for you to meet her either, but, Jenna, could you wait... not say anything about our trip yet?"

"Derek, you can't back out now."

"I won't, we just need to work out a few details."

"I won't say anything yet. I love you Derek."

"I love you too Jenna....take care of that baby."

After the call ended, she looked at him without tearing her gaze from his.

"Derek...what was that about? Why did you have to wait? I didn't mean to take the phone away it just happened."

"I'm glad you talked to Jenna, she's my favorite sister you know."

"I do know, she was very nice, it will be nice to meet her."

"She won't be able to keep her mouth shut," he smiled.

"Why should she? Derek, what are you thinking," she insisted.

"Meredith, I know...you don't want to hear this...but I still think... you could be pregnant, and if that's the case...it would be kind of hard for us to fly to the East coast, you'll have just had a baby..." he finished softly.

"Derek...I told you, I was sure I wasn't pregnant," she offered gently, and placed a light kiss on his lips.

"But Meredith, the symptoms..."

"I know...but maybe it's something else...I started my period earlier today."

"Oh..." he said trying to hide his disappointment.

"Please don't be disappointed in me."

"Meredith I'm not."

"You look sad Derek, and I've done that...put that look in your face."

"Don't think that...it's just I really though..."

"I know...it...it really would have been a surprise Derek...truly unexpected...and well, it will happen later...when we're ready..."

"Would it have been terrible... if you were?"

"No...not terrible... difficult...and scary...I've never done this before."

"Neither have I..."

"Not terrible...and when it happens Derek, you have to promise me you will help me, because I'll probably be a terrible mother...it's probably in the genes...Derek, you'll have to help me."

"First of all, it's not in the genes...and I think you will make a wonderful mother, and of course I will help you... we'll need to help each other."

"I can do that."

"We can."

They made no attempts to move as she buried herself in his embrace.

"Oh my God," she said suddenly, pulling away and staring at him.

"What? Meredith, what's wrong?"

"Derek, how could you..." she accused.

"How could I what? Meredith?"

"Derek, how could you possibly think you can build here?"

"You just told me you thought this was spectacular."

"Of course it is, but are you crazy? Derek, haven't you been telling me you want kids...I mean... I thought that's what we were just talking about...but Derek...we can't..."

"Meredith... what are you talking about? We were talking about kids, and what do you mean we can't," he asked absolutely amazed by the turn of the conversation.

"Derek, we can't build a house here... are you crazy... I'm not going to let you build a house here... it's a cliff Derek... a damn cliff...!!!"

"Yes... it's a cliff... with the best view of Seattle from anywhere on this island."

"Derek, you can't mean this...we can't build here," she said getting misty eyed.

"Meredith...I don't know what's going through your head...so maybe you can share that with me."

"Our babies Derek," she sniffled, "how could you put our babies in danger with this cliff...we can't live here... I'd be a nervous wreck all the time... you can't ... you can't expect me to be ok while our kids could be in danger of ...oh my God, the thought of it Derek... our kids can't be anywhere near this cliff."

He tried, to no avail, to conceal his laughter.

"You, are going to be an exceptional and wonderful mother," he said as he lowered his mouth to hers and captured her lips, teasing, gently and tenderly at first and then lost themselves in timeless promises of loved filled passion.