(Shattered...) Dreams Fulfilled

Extended Family Bonding

"Meredith," Kathleen said while they enjoyed lunch at one of her and Derek's favorite restaurants in Pioneer Square, "you're going to love the bed and breakfast ..."

"It's perfect for a secluded romantic getaway," Carolyn said, "and we booked the room you wanted, they have my credit card to hold the reservation."

"But," Meredith said, "why didn't you use mine?"

"I couldn't resist," Carolyn laughed, "and you should have seen the owner's face, a lovely lady by the way, after she showed us the rooms, which Kathleen and I went on about the romantic ambiance, we asked to make a reservation for the date you wanted, and she naturally assumed it was for Kathleen and Kevin... and dear you must have the chocolate cake while you're there. Kevin did while he waited for us, and recommended we have it and it was amazing. So, she asked Kathleen if she they had any special requests, and I interrupted her and said, oh it's not for them and took out my credit card, which of course she assumed was for me, and Meredith," she laughed good heartedly, "the look on her face...was priceless. Of course, once I'd had a good laugh, I said, oh, it's not for me but my son and his wife, and told her she needed to practice deadpan expressions, as I was certain she saw a lot worse than an almost seventy year old woman booking a romantic weekend at her bed and breakfast."

"Mom," Kathleen laughed, "you do realize you're not going to be able to visit Seattle more than a few days at a time...ever again."

"Kathleen," Meredith said, trying not to laugh, "of course she can...Carolyn...you can visit any time."

"And why exactly are you are restricting my visits here?" Carolyn asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Go ahead Meredith, you can laugh," Kathleen laughed again. "Mom, that ramble was Meredith and Lexie worthy...combined..."

"Let's not forget you, Kathleen, you've been rambling away all morning long," her mother said, and both her daughters' laughter filled the air.

"Kat," Meredith told her, their relationship so solid now, she was comfortable in saying just about anything to her sister in law, "that was very rude, your Mom is welcome here anytime," and laughed again, "but Carolyn, she's right, by the end of the week, Lexie and I will no longer be labeled ramblers, and will pass on the torch."

"Count your blessings Meredith," his mother smiled, "instead of ramblers, it could be Jenna here, and her water faucet is taxing even on me, and that child is one of my favorites."

"One..." Meredith said incredulously, "you said...one of your favorites...and...Kat's here...and you talk about favorites, I thought mom's don't have favorites, I mean, except my mom...she didn't even have me as a favorite," and paused and looked at her mother and sister in law realizing what she'd said, "but...you really have favorites..."

"Of course I do," Carolyn said teasingly, "they alternate depending on how much they get on my nerves and right now, Jenna's at the top of the list."

"Mom," Kathleen told her, "I don't think Mer realizes you're kidding, she's not really familiar with your sense of humor."

"Of course she does, don't you dear?"

"Well...I'm ...I guess...I'm just not sure... how ...what Mom's really feel."

"Oh...sweetheart," Carolyn who was sitting next to Meredith reached to place her hand over hers, "Mom's don't have favorites...you love them all the same...but, they do drive you crazy sometimes and there may be days you're not quite fond of them, but in your heart Meredith...you love them all exactly the same," she smiled at her, and squeezed her hand, "and some days, depending on how much your children need you, on what their going through, on top of the love they all share equally, you love them a little more on top of that, and incredibly...find that there's always that much more love to go around."

"Your children," Meredith said, and swallowed past the lump in her throat, "have the most wonderful mom in the world."

"They don't always think that way," Carolyn smiled at her, "but...they really do," she said and laughed, making Meredith smile, "and they don't mind sharing," she said and squeezed her hand once more.

"I'm glad," Meredith smiled, blinking the tears away, "because...that makes me think I can share some of that...having their wonderful Mom in my life now too."

"Don't you forget it," Carolyn said, and exchanged a smile with her daughter, "once you're one of my kids, there's no getting away, just ask Kevin."

"Do tell me that story," Meredith said, "how could Kat bring him home when he was three years old?"

"She was the older woman," Carolyn said, "very bossy and took control right away."

"The older woman," Meredith laughed, "you're putting me on..."

"She's right Mer," Kathleen told her, "one week older than him," and all three women laughed often as the story was told, one Meredith would remember fondly as she awaited the birth of a child.

"Now," Carolyn said more seriously and winked at Kathleen, "just as Mom's don't have favorites, mother in law's do..."

"I think I deserve to know who's on the blacklist," Meredith smiled, "so I know whose side to be on when we fly home," she giggled.

"Let's just say," Carolyn said, "the wicked witch was never a favorite...and always an in law; and back home..."

"Carolyn," Meredith interrupted her and said with deep emotion, "you have no idea...how very much it means to me that you are in my life."

"I think I might have an idea, because...I feel the very same way...but most of all, Meredith...I know I have gained a daughter, there is no doubt in my mind about that."

"Thank you," Meredith said and surprising them both, leaned over to kiss her cheek.

They'd left Meredith's house around nine thirty and began their day of sightseeing. Kathleen had played tourist not long ago, but Carolyn had never been to Seattle, so they started with a visit to Pike Market Place, and after lunch spent the rest of the afternoon in Pioneer Square, strolling the area known for its many cobblestone streets and Victorian architecture, while Meredith played tour guide and without need to embellish, shared the area's colorful history as mother and daughter purchased gifts for the family back east.

Meredith's shift started at five that evening, and since Kathleen had Derek's car they'd dropped her off at the hospital agreeing to meet at her house the following morning.

"Ready for family bonding time?" Cristina asked attempting to be sarcastic but not pulling it off completely, as she finished updating charts.

Meredith smiled. "I know you Cristina Yang, and you like her, you like all of them."

"So I like her," Cristina said. "Unlike my mother, it's ok to spend time with her."

"Your shift's about over isn't it?" Meredith asked her.

"Another hour and then meeting up at Joe's with Barbie, Bambi, Evil Spawn and Xena."

"You could really make the effort and use their names," Meredith told Cristina.

"Hey, I'm not calling Lexie three anymore," she countered.

"That's a concession, I guess," Meredith agreed, and they spoke for a few minutes, and finalized plans for the following day's trip to the spa.

Meredith's shift had started off relatively calm the first two hours, and then all hell broke lose when a five car pile had her in surgery past midnight, when finally she was able to take a break and went to find an empty on call room to rest for at least an hour. She lay on the bed and smiled as she heard his last message. "Mer, I've tried calling you a couple of times but got your voice mail, so I called and found out you've been in surgery for hours. I love you Mer, call me when you get out."

Then she heard his first message, "Hey, I had to walk away from the camp a bit, these guys are calling me a wimp and whipped," she heard his chuckle, "and that calling you breaks all the rules of rugged camping. I'll call you back. I love you."

She wanted to call him, but they'd been up since early that day, and since she didn't know the sleeping arrangements didn't want to risk waking Mark and Kevin as well.

-just out of surgery, talk tomorrow, love you

Two minutes later her phone rang.

"Hey," she heard his voice and smiled.

"Hey, I thought you'd be sleeping, didn't want to wake you," she said, "well, I didn't mind waking you, just didn't want to risk waking the others."

"I was asleep, but it doesn't matter. I'm glad you called. I miss sleeping with you Mer."

"So," she teased, "I haven't been replaced by all the male bonding in the wilderness."

"You're irreplaceable," he said in a low throaty voice.

"So are you," she said.

"Mer," he chuckled softly, "thanks for the lures."

"Did they work?"

"Oh they worked all right, your lures always work..." he teased her.

"I thought you'd appreciate that they glow in the dark, they're supposed to be great to make the catch."

"Meredith," he said, "are you happy with your catch," he asked, turning the conversation to the personal connotation.

"Derek," she said softy, "are you alone?"

"Yes, we each have our sleeping bags and tents," he said, "you can call me anytime."

"Derek..." she said in a low sexy voice, "do you know what I'd like to be doing right now?"

"Uhmmm..." He said, in that way that always made her become putty in his hands, "exactly what I'd like to be doing right now too...but, maybe I'm wrong," he teased, and they proceeded to tell each other, in detail, exactly what the other had in mind.

"Derek..."

"Uhmmm..."

"You can never tease Kathleen and Kevin about phone sex again," she giggled.

"Mer," he chuckled, "it's not the first time we've done this."

"Yeah...but, never while you were camping and I was in an on call room," she laughed, "and I bet she and Kevin haven't..."

"I don't really want to talk about my sister and sex," he told her.

"Derek, you are really going to have to get over that," she laughed, "even your mother talks about our sex life, and hers."

"What?" he said a little too loudly. "You're joking right?"

"Nope," she said, and smiled as she remembered the conversation during the early part of the morning, when over coffee at Pike Market.

His mother had laughed and said, "Meredith, dear," and smiled mischievously, and then her words made Meredith choke on her coffee while Kathleen laugh, "do you really keep condoms in the cookie jar? What if your friends walk in?"

"Mer," Derek said, "you're putting me on."

"I'm not," she laughed softly, the melodious sound he loved to hear.

"That is not the image I want in my head right now, my mother talking to you about our sex life."

"Derek," Meredith whispered quietly, even though there was no one to hear her, "since you're there...and I'm here...and we can't do much more about it, right now..." she emphasized, and he heard the intended teasing in her voice.

"Mer..." he said, and continued to whisper seductively.

"Dr. Shepherd," she giggled, "you better be making promises you can keep."

"You giggle," he said, trying to sound offended. "I'm trying to seduce my wife, and you giggle," he said had her laughing.

"You've already succeeded," she whispered back and continued to speak quietly to him for a few minutes more minutes.

"Meredith, when I get back..."

"Uhmm..."

"Get rid of Mom..." he said, "quickly," and they both laughed quietly into the phone.

"I love you Derek."

"I love you Meredith, good night."

"Stay away from the bears," she said.

"You too," he chuckled.

"Derek..." she said, making the word a caress.

"Meredith..." he replied exactly the same way.

"You're the only beast in my life..."

"Don't ever forget it," he teased, "your old insatiable beast."

"Good night Derek."

"Good night," he said as both reluctantly disconnected, while both succumbed to sleep with a smile on their faces, hearts joyful for their soul mate and both feeling lusty and horny as hell.

"Meredith," Izzie yelled standing at the bottom of the stairs. "Hurry up. I only have a few hours to spend at the spa."

"Stop yelling," Meredith grumbled as she descended the stairs, "I've only had three hours of sleep, I can't function as fast without sleep and we still have to wait for everyone else to get here."

"We're already here," Cristina said. "Mama Shep, Kathleen and I have been here for a while. Go have breakfast, because she won't leave till you do."

"I didn't know you were here," Meredith glared at Izzie, "why didn't you tell me, you're always walking in my room unannounced ...and today, when you should wake me and Derek's mom is here...you yell up the stairs..."

"Good morning Meredith," Carolyn said as she came out of the kitchen, and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "Don't pay attention to these girls, you haven't had any sleep, and I didn't want them rushing you."

"Izzie must have missed that message," Meredith said, "since she's been yelling..."

"Ah," Carolyn smiled, and walked behind her, "not a morning person."

"Sorry," Meredith turned and smiled at her, "I'm not."

"Neither was I," Carolyn said, "until I had kids, your husband in particular."

"Oh no," Meredith said and went to sit next to Kathleen, "I'm doomed. I'm going to become an early riser just like your two favorite children," she teased, "morning Kat."

"Mama Shep," Cristina said, "you have favorites," and smirked, "you've just ruined my opinion of the perfect mother."

Carolyn looked at her, "Cristina, I'm going to enjoy watching you become the mushiest sentimental mother ..."

"Is that your Irish curse," Cristina quipped back.

"That," Carolyn said, and very briefly hugged the hard core surgeon, "is an Irish blessing."

"Ok," Lexie said as she walked in the kitchen, "we're all packed, except Mer."

"Great," Cristina said, "we can get going and Mer can go with Izzie. I'll go with Kathleen and Mama Shep."

"You're going with Izzie," Meredith said, "and Lexie, since we need two cars."

"You're going to fall asleep anyway, so you can go with Izzie and the constant chirping happy chatter won't bother you."

"Cristina," Izzie said, "you're riding with me, and you're stuck with me, suck it up. Mer's going with Derek's family."

"Suck it up Cris," Meredith agreed, "and be nice damn it."

"I am being nice," Cristina said, "I was trying to give you sleeping time, and let Lexie and Izzie continue bonding."

"Bitch," Izzie said. "Mrs. Shepherd...don't mind us, this is normal."

"I've noticed dear," Carolyn said as she finished cooking the omelette she was making for Meredith, "and I had four girls and their friends at home, so I know everyone shows affection in their own way."

"Affection," Cristina mouthed to Meredith.

"Yes," Izzie said, "I saw that, and you're not so hard core."

"Fine," Cristina said, "let's go, and we can let the Shepherd clan continue to bond."

"That's the Cristina we all love," Carolyn said, as Meredith and Kathleen exchanged smiles, "but, just so we understand each other, there'll be extended family bonding time as well," she warned as she placed a plate in front of Meredith, "eat and don't argue."

"See," Kathleen said, "where we get the bossiness."

"No wonder Derek doesn't mind," Meredith smiled at her sister in law and they both actually giggled.

"Ok...wait," Cristina said, "we're getting family bonding, ramblers, chirpy chatterers, nosy meddlers and now old gigglers... Mama Shep, can I share a room with you?"

"Didn't I tell you Meredith," Carolyn Shepherd smiled, "she's just a softie."

"Never mind," Cristina hid her smile. "Lexie, you have the bananas?"

"Yes," Lexie said, "you have everything else?"

"What in the world are you two talking about?" Meredith said as she was finishing her breakfast.

"Mer," Cristina said, "surely you don't think your sister and I are going to stay up all night talking."

"What does that have to do with bananas...or do I even want to know..."

"She's teaching me to perfect my stitches, has been for a while," Lexie smiled.

"You've been teaching her...you're teaching...three..." Meredith said, and her eyes watered briefly.

"Mer," Cristina said, "it hasn't been three in a long while. It's Lexie or Grey," she repeated what Lexie had told her months before, "or Xena, that's appropriate too."

Within minutes everyone was ready, and Meredith rushed upstairs to get her overnight bag and the six women walked to their cars, and before Cristina got in with Lexie and Izzzie, Meredith reached her side and smiled, "thank you."

"You're welcome," Cristina said, and not one more word needed to be exchanged, as the two women, once strangers who'd become each other's lifeline, each other's person, clearly understood the significance of Cristina accepting her sister.

Expectedly, Meredith fell asleep on the forty five minute drive to Salish Lodge & Spa, undisturbed by the quiet conversation between mother and daughter.

"Meredith," Carolyn said gently placing her hand on her shoulder, "we're here," and had to make a couple of attempts before she became fully alert.

"I fell asleep," Meredith said, "I seem to do that a lot when I'm not driving."

"Thank God," Carolyn teased her, "we can't have you falling asleep at the wheel. You must be exhausted after the overnight shift, and believe me, I've been through this five times with my kids. I get the perennial tiredness of residency."

Immediately following, the rest of the group arrived and went to the front desk, "we're staying tonight, but know the rooms aren't ready till later, but can we leave our bags with you?" Meredith asked, "I made the reservations, they're under Grey and..."

"Oh, yes, Dr. Grey," the young lady at the desk said, "we've been expecting you. Your husband called last week and your rooms will be ready in about fifteen minutes."

"There must be a mistake, when I called I was told check in would be at four, but we would spend the day at the spa."

"It's all taken care of Dr. Grey. Do you have your bags here? This is for you," she added, "you're supposed to read it and let me know which room you want, and we'll be ready within fifteen minutes. Meredith got an envelope that contained three smaller notes, the other two addressed to his mother and sister, and she smiled as she recognized Derek's handwriting.

Meredith, don't argue with the arrangements. I upgraded your room and Mom's to a suite, they'll have two beds in there. You'll need the extra sitting room for all of you to chatter part of the night away, at least, I think you will...Cristina is the only quiet one, but Mom seems to make her talk too. You all have early check in, don't ask questions, put away your credit card, accept it's from me to you. Izzie's day at the spa's taken care of too, whatever she wants, it's the least we could do (and yes, it's our money now) since she didn't get to enjoy a trip to Venice. I didn't mess with Kat's arrangements for Lexie and Cristina, I know she wanted to do that, and hell, they can afford it too! Don't scowl and don't roll your eyes.

Mer, I made sure you didn't have to get the same suite we had, but there's only two suites on the floor where all three rooms could be together, so one of you will have to stay in our old room. But, I told them to ask you first, which room you want. I know it's not easy for you going back there right now, but I love that you wanted to spend time with Mom & Kathleen. We'll be back, just the two of us...three of us...one day, she read and brought her index finger to the corner of her eye, keeping the tear from falling. Have fun and know I'm counting the minutes till I can show you what you mean to me. I love you Meredith, you are what makes my life complete, Derek.

She folded the note and put it away in the envelope, this time, openly wiping the tears away.

"Meredith, are you ok?" Lexie was the first to speak.

"I'm perfect," she smiled and turned to Carolyn, "and your son is an idiot."

"My son is an idiot that makes you cry and feel perfect?" his mother said with a hint of amusement in her voice.

"Yes," Meredith smiled.

"She's been Mcdreamied..." Cristina said, "first it's the elevators...now the spa..."

"Mcdreamied?" Carolyn questioned.

"I'll explain later," Cristina said, as Meredith got up and went to the front desk.

"My husband was here yesterday," she said, "did you see him?"

"Yes," the young woman smiled, "he said it was important you read that first."

"I imagine he told you I'd want the same room as last time," Meredith said.

"Yes, he did, but he wanted to make sure we asked you first, is that what you want?"

"Yes," Meredith said, "if it's possible."

"There's already two beds in there, he was pretty sure that would be your choice, so we're ready to escort you to your rooms."

The suites were adjoining rooms, with Lexie and Cristina's right across from them. Once they'd settled in, all of them changed into the Spa's signature robes and slippers and headed to their first appointments where they spent the next several hours enjoying the luxurious pampering, before coming together for lunch in the Falls Terrace Patio.

"Meredith," Izzie said, "thanks for today, the spa is as wonderful as all that's been written up about it. I'll tell Derek when I see him, but thank him for me please because this has been really generous of you."

"We wanted to do it," Meredith said, "we'd have loved for you to be with us in Venice, but at least we could do this, well, he could do this, because he insists on paying for everything, even though he tells me it's our money," she smiled, "you know how much money we make."

"It means a lot Mer, you put up with all of us, and invite me here to boot," Izzie replied.

"I only wish you could have stayed tonight as well," Meredith smiled at her.

"This is great Mer. More than enough and there was no way I could get anyone to cover for me," Izzie said, genuinely grateful.

"Meredith," Kathleen said, "he's right, and I know you argued about paying for this yourself, for Mom and I to come here, and then he upgraded everything, but we know it was your idea and that you got the certificates when you were here, so thank you."

"It is lovely dear," Carolyn said, "and I am enjoying tremendously, though good old Catholic guilt kicks in every once in a while, at the expense of it all, but...I'm ignoring it for the time we're here."

"Kathleen," Lexie said, "thank you too...this has been phenomenal, I never expected I could enjoy something like this...not for a long while...well, after I got a practice going and all, so thanks for including me."

"You're family Lexie," Kathleen said, "you all are."

"Thank you," Cristina said, "it means a lot to be here with all of you," and then to lighten that emotions she felt, "rambling chatty family that you are."

"You'll get used to it dear, just wait till you meet the rest of the family," Carolyn said, certain Cristina Yang would become part of her extended family.

Later that afternoon, Izzie, Lexie and Cristina coincided in one of two therapeutic pools.

"Were your therapists very talkative," Izzie asked barely above a whisper, respecting the required silence for guests.

"No," Cristina said, "and didn't you read we're not supposed to talk."

"I'm whispering and it's just us here now."

"I'd like some silence."

"I was just wondering, because both ladies that did my massages were talking to me about..."

"Mine didn't talk, if they had," Cristina said, "I'd have told them to be quiet."

"Listen," Izzie said, "they both told me about the importance of sun protection and that it was important to check any changes in the skin, and told me I had a mole that should be looked at. Weird...huh..."

"You know it's true," Lexie said, "sun protection is very important, as is early detection of any irregularities."

"She told you that," Cristina was more serious, "about a mole, so you should look at it."

"Yeah," Izzie said, but regrettably would forget about the conversation in the months ahead with significant and life threatening consequences.

The women gathered again for late afternoon snacks at the Attic Lounge, enjoying a spectacular view of the falls, and continued their light friendly banter before it was time for Izzie to head back to Seattle for the start of her seven o'clock shift that evening.

"You know what would be lovely," Carolyn said, "is a walk, it's a beautiful setting."

"It is," Meredith said, "I'll come with you."

Cristina looked at her and mouthed, "family bonding."

"I'm going to muzzle you yet, Cristina," Carolyn said.

"How many pairs of eyes do you have?"

"Enough," Carolyn laughed, "and it's not family bonding. It's motherly bonding. Get it right. You're welcome to join us. I'm going to put on a pair of sneakers," she said and winked at Meredith who rose from the table to do the same thing.

"I'm going to talk to the kids," Kathleen said, "it's just about the time we talk every day, so I'll join you later."

"Lex," Meredith said, "are you joining us?"

"Ah...no...it's...you and...Carolyn..."

"Lexie," Meredith said, "you're my sister...stop being difficult, and we're sharing a room, there's plenty of time for us to talk...alone...if we want to. Get your sneakers on," she told her, and they were soon on their way to explore the surrounding display of nature.

"Mer," Cristina said as they walked along, "remember when she Shep got poison oak?"

"Who's she Shep," Carolyn asked, "wait, don't tell me, it's Addison."

"Yep," Cristina said. "Justly so, she got poison oak taking away her Mceverything..."

"Cristina," Meredith admonished, "not now."

"She knows everything Mer, You seriously think she's going to care now?"

"What's with the Mc's Cristina?" Carolyn asked.

"Mama Shep," Cristina said, "one day Mer doesn't want to get up, she has this feeling...hell, she turned out to be right, she should have stayed in bed. But I had to rush over there and force her ass out of bed."

"Cristina," Meredith said, "language...please..."

"Don't worry dear," Carolyn said, "I've heard worse."

"See Mer," Cristina said and paused to quip, "Mama Burke...Mama Shep...big difference...you're one lucky bitch."

Meredith rolled her eyes, "I give up."

"Leave her to me Meredith," Carolyn said. "So you had to kick her ass out of bed and Addison got poison oak?" Carolyn asked just as Kathleen joined them.

"Oh no, that's another time, but it's related."

"Addison got poison oak," Kathleen asked incredulously, "when did she ever get close enough to the outdoors for that to happen? Other than the trailer obviously, but I'd have bet money she wasn't walking around the woods," she said, and had Meredith and Cristina roar with laughter and then told the full story.

"I agree with Cristina," Carolyn said. "She gave up her right to your Mclife when she cheated on Derek. But you did give her the dog, so she didn't quite take that, and agree she deserved the poison oak."

Meredith was speechless, as were the others as they witnessed the next several seconds and then a smile graced Meredith's face and without any hesitation she hugged Carolyn Shepherd, and said very quietly, though the others could not help but hear. Oh...Carolyn, I'm so lucky...with you ...you being in my life...I do love you."

"Oh sweetheart," Carolyn said, both moved by each other's intense emotions, "I feel the same way...exactly the same way. I love you Meredith," and linked her arms through hers as they continued their walk and then each went back to their rooms to relax.

Carolyn decided to nap, conceding all the massages and therapeutic treatment had tired her out, which all agreed was true.

"Mer," Kathleen said, "thanks again for thinking of this," and linked her arms through her sister in law's as they walked back to the hotel room, "how are you?"

"Grateful," she said softly. "To have you in my life and that you care enough to ask."

"I've been there, remember."

"I know," she said, and they exchanged a saddened melancholy smile. "Are you tired?"

"No, do you want to talk?" Kathleen asked.

"Yes," Meredith replied softly, and the two women sat on the couch and talked, time getting away from them, and soon it had been more than an hour they'd been sharing moments of their lives. "Kathleen, is it normal...that I still feel sad...it's not all the time, but every once in a while, something happens...reminds me, I mean most of the time it's normal. I see Lisette everyday, you remember her?" Kathleen nodded, "and how her pregnancy is advancing and it's ok, but then some days I wonder what it would have been like...and I've talked to Dr. Wyatt about it, I have...and Derek's been wonderful and you saw the bracelet, he remembered her...when we were in Venice he thought of our little girl..."

"I did see the bracelet, when he texted the photo so we'd stop harassing you that day...and you were wearing it when we got here, but didn't really see the charms...you told me about it, but I'd like to see it."

"I'll get it," Meredith smiled, "I don't often get to wear it...but it felt right wearing it while I'm here...I was going to wear it at dinner...do you think your Mom will wake up?"

"Nothing wakes her, except the kids during the night; it's rather amazing how she does that, instinctively she's up if any of the kids are, but who knows maybe your snoring tonight," Kathleen teased her, "will keep her up too."

"She wears earplugs at night," Meredith laughed, "that won't be a problem," and walked through the open door of their rooms and got the bracelet.

Meredith returned and placed the gold bracelet in Kathleen's hand. "Derek's been wonderful Kathleen, even when I've been horrible."

"What do you mean?" Kathleen asked, paying attention to her sister in law, rather than examining the piece of jewelry, as she wanted to do.

"The day...one month to the day of my miscarriage," she started to speak, "I was so awful Kathleen...the things I said to him. I called your Mom."

"You did?" Kathleen asked. "That was...wasn't Mom still in Italy?"

"She was," she said and told her the same story she'd told Carolyn Shepherd, "and he'd already thought about this. Kat, he'd thought of our baby...when we were in Venice," she said, and a few tears rolled down her cheek.

"Meredith," Kathleen said, "you know...I understand, but it's also very different for Derek than it is for you, and he wanted to protect you...take care of you by not wanting you to take care of that baby..."

"I know," Meredith said, "and we talked about it...all of it...and we get better...and better at communicating, and then... Kathleen on our anniversary, as you know, he got me the bracelet."

Both women were so absorbed with their conversation they did not notice Carolyn was up and around and getting ready for dinner.

"It's beautiful," Meredith, she said as she smiled looking at each of the charms, and then she lovingly looked at the last one, the silhouette of a baby angel, "oh Meredith," she said softly, "this...it's ..." both women had tears in their eyes, "Brianna...and the dates," she said, and reached out and hugged Meredith.

That's how Carolyn found them, rendered silent by her daughter's next words, the revelation of a decades old secret, after she heard Meredith say, "it's the day she was conceived...and then..."

"I know," Kathleen said, "I know...you always wonder...but you had such a beautiful and spiritual gift Meredith...and Derek with this...he honored her memory forever...I'm glad you had that dream...because you always wonder...and so often I think...I would have liked to know too..."

"Kathleen," Meredith said, "it helped...to have you with us...after that night...and you sharing what happened...it gave me hope...for our next baby..."

"Honey," Kathleen said, comfortable they could discuss any subject, "did Dr. Cameron tell you it's not unusual for another pregnancy to follow after a miscarriage...are you and Derek..."

"We're being very careful," Meredith smiled, "we're going to wait...a while...I can't believe we're talking about this...he'd hate it, not that we're waiting, but that I'm telling you we're being very careful...condoms...and birth control."

"He'll get over it, sisters talk about these things," Kathleen told her, "and I know...first hand...what's is like to be pregnant right after a miscarriage..."

"Kathleen," both women were startled when they heard Carolyn's soft quiet voice,
and turned to see her standing in the doorway, wiping away at the tears on her face.

"Mom," Kathleen said, meeting her gaze, and then averting it, part of her feeling the shame of twenty years before.

"Kathleen," her mother came to sit next to her, and Meredith immediately began to rise.

"No," Kathleen reached for her hand. "Stay...you already know."

"Kathleen," Carolyn said, and reached out to her daughter and hugged her, and cried with her, "my baby...my baby girl...you ...you went through that alone..."

"I'm sorry...Mom...I'm sorry...I didn't want you to find out like this."

"I could have been there...I could have been with you...Kathleen...honey...why did you go through something like this alone..."

"Kevin was with me..." she said. "We didn't want to disappoint you anymore."

"Disappoint me...you've never disappointed me...ever..."

"We were living together, and we knew you wouldn't approve...much less being pregnant, and I let you down...and dad..."

"Sweetheart, I would have understood...but that you felt I wouldn't, I'm sorry, baby...I should have been there for you...I'm so sorry..."

"Oh Mom...don't be sorry...you've always been there..." she said, as her mother held her, and she cried twenty year old tears that helped to heal the pain of keeping her secret for so long. Finally, she thought, she didn't have to hide the first baby she'd loved.

"Meredith," Carolyn turned to her, concerned she'd just relived her own recent loss. "Sweetheart, are you ok?"

"I am," she replied, "are you?"

"I will be," she said, and turned to caress Kathleen's cheek, "as long you both are."

They heard a soft knock on the door and Meredith went to answer, it was Cristina and Lexie. "We're ready for dinner, whenever you are," Cristina said and immediately noticed Meredith had been crying, "Mer...are you ok?"

"Yes...but...give us a little bit...can you wait?"

"Of course...but you're ok?" Lexie asked.

"Yes..." Meredith assured her, "just a little sentimental talk..."

"Ok..." Cristina said. "Knock on our door when you're ready."

"Girls," Carolyn said, after regaining some composure, "you are determined to kill me with emotions today," she said and turned to Meredith, and reached for her hand, "first you...and now...this..."

"Mom," Kathleen said, referring to Meredith saying I love you, "Meredith, what she said, that was a good emotion..."

"Yes...but, at my age emotions don't know the difference," she said, and had Kathleen laughing. "Will you tell me what happened...please."

"Mom...it was so long ago," Kathleen said, and smiled softly at her.

"You never forget..." Carolyn stopped her, "you never forget...the loss of a child."

"Mom..." Kathleen questioned, "did you..."

"Your aunt did, and I was with her...and she still remembers. When did it happen? I heard Meredith say how it had given her hope...and I'm sorry, I wasn't eavesdropping, I came to talk to you girls and I heard you...and at first, I couldn't say anything..."

"It's ok...Mom...I'm glad you know, after all these years, I'm glad you know," she said, and Carolyn Shepherd sat between the two women she considered her daughters, and truly understood the strength of the bond that had been formed between Meredith and Kathleen, and she listened to Kathleen's story and more tears were shed, but in the end, the bond between the three women was such that from that moment, Meredith truly accepted that her long forgotten childhood prayers had indeed been answered.

"Carolyn," Meredith said, "Kathleen...there's something I wanted to talk to you about...and maybe now is a good time...I told Derek I would...he wanted to...but I said I would."

"Please tell me nothing's wrong," Carolyn said, "Meredith...you two are ok...you're not keeping anything from me?"

"No," she assured her, "and why do you always think that there's something wrong?"

"It's part of being a mother," she told her. "We worry...we take worrying and perfect it."

"We...Derek and I...we're going to come visit this summer, just like we said, but when Jenna called..."

"I knew it...what did she say," Carolyn interrupted, "I saw the look on your face...your eyes...the sadness, just like now, Meredith what's wrong?"

"Jenna," Meredith cleared her throat, "she wanted us to try to coordinate our visit so I'm there for her baby shower...and...I..." tears welled, "I told Derek...I can't... not this time...I mean...later for the baptism it will be easier, everyone will be more distracted, and I'll know more people...not just having met everyone, and the baby will be there and it will be hard...but...now...not for the baby shower...not for that...I'm sorry..."

"Oh, sweetheart," Carolyn hugged her, "of course not...Kathleen and I would never put you through that...no...don't worry...we'll take care of it...we will," she said and looked at her daughter and was thankful her first grandchild had followed so quickly after her miscarriage, because at least she knew, she'd never had to experience a moment like Meredith feared right now.

"Mer," Kathleen said to her, "Mom's right, we'll take care of it, we'd never let you go through that, if we'd found out we'd have made sure it didn't happen."

"Derek wanted to talk to her, to tell Jenna, but...I don't want him to...or you...I told him I did not want anything to take away from the happiness of her looking forward to a healthy beautiful baby."

"We won't say anything," Kathleen said, "we'll just make sure you can't be there whatever weekend we choose. Leave that to us."

"Thank you," Meredith said, and they heard an audible sigh of relief.

"You're welcome," Kathleen said and hugged her.

Carolyn Shepherd had became lost in her thoughts, and then she said, "Kathleen...your support group...it's...because of what happened...isn't it?"

"Yes," Kathleen said softly. "Only Kevin knew, and then...when I was out here, Meredith and Derek."

"I'm proud of you...so proud of you..." Carolyn said and hugged her daughter. "I love you Kathleen...and I'm sorry...I wasn't there for you."

"But you were Mom. You've always been there, and that time, it's ok...you know now."

Lexie and Cristina were beginning to get worried, as it had been almost an hour since they'd knocked on Meredith's door. "Lexie," Cristina said, uncharacteristically voicing her concern, "I don't want to intrude, but do you think everything is ok?"

"I hope so Cristina. Meredith had been crying, but she wasn't upset, just...maybe a little sad, that's what I noticed."

"Me too," Cristina said.

"Oh my God," it dawned on Lexie, "Cristina, they were here, this is where Derek brought Meredith after she had the miscarriage."

"Shit, you're right. Do we say anything?"

"I don't know," Lexie said, "let's just wait..." and then they heard a knock on the door, and the three women at their door were ready for dinner.

Kathleen and Carolyn walked ahead. "Mer," Cristina could not keep quiet, she knew her friend, "are you ok? We were worried about you."

"I am, really," she smiled, "thank you...both of you for caring."

"You were here," Lexie said, "with Derek..."

"Yeah...I was..." she acknowledged, "I'm ok...really."

Their evening turned light as the five women immediately regained the friendly familiar and familial banter that had become part of their lives thousands of miles away, while witnessing the magical romantic wedding of two people whose love was destined to become a treasured family legend.

They retired to Meredith's suite and found two bottles of champagne in their respective ice buckets. "Figured you'd need two...enjoy, Mark."

"All right," Carolyn said, after they'd made the corresponding first toasts, and had started on the second bottle, "Cristina, tell me about what it means to be Mcdreamied," and Meredith choked on the sip on the champagne.

"It has to do with your son and Meredith..."

"Cristina," Meredith warned.

"Don't shut her up Meredith," Carolyn said, "I want to hear this."

"I'm not so sure I want you to hear it."

"It can't be any worse..."

"It kind of can," Cristina said, "cause the first time I told her that...he kind of dropped her like a hot potato," she laughed, "that's sort of funny, a hot potato for a rose."

"Some kind of friend you are," Meredith argued, "Cristina... I swear..."

"I already know about that," Carolyn said, "I just haven't boxed his ears properly," and they all laughed, as Cristina indeed told her about Meredith's aborted weekend in wine country. "But, all kidding aside, what it really means is your son...has the ability to make her forget everything and she gets this annoyingly love stricken look on her face...that eventually leads to a lot of sex."

Just as she finished that statement, Meredith's phone vibrated and she smiled. "Hello," she answered, beaming.

"Hey," he said, "you're not alone are you?"

"Not tonight...but..." she smiled thinking about his homecoming.

"Meredith," Kathleen reached to take the phone from her, "I cannot believe this...Derek Christopher, and you have the nerve to make fun of me when I talk about phone sex with my husband," she said, they'd had drinks with dinner, and now champagne. "You cannot do that tonight, you brainless moron, and where is my husband, that he's not calling me?" she demanded to know, "if you can call your wife, he should be calling me..."

"Kat," Derek said, "they don't know I'm calling her..."

"Well you're not going to talk to her now either," she said, and got ready to disconnect the phone when Meredith grabbed it back from her and laughed.

"I love you Derek, sweet dreams," and heard his chuckle..

"I love you Meredith, and remember, we need to get rid of Mom tomorrow."

"We will..." she smiled, as the call was disconnected.

"Mcdreamied," Cristina said, "you just witnessed it live."

"Well," Carolyn said, "let's drink to tonight and many more years of that."

"Mom," Meredith said, "I think you're drunk."

Carolyn and Kathleen smiled, "I think I am and I feel really great right now."

"Wait till the morning," Lexie said, "because...there's another bottle in our room, Mark left it for Cristina and me with a note."

Kathleen, Meredith, Carolyn and Cristina exchanged smiles, "Mama Shep, care to bet?"

"Bet on what?" Lexie asked.

"Champagne hangovers," Carolyn said.

"What about them?" Lexie smiled.

"Oh," Carolyn said, not drunk at all, "how long they're remembered..." she misled.

"Overnight," Lexie said, "I'd be very likely to forget them."

"I think we might remember it just a little longer than that," Carolyn said, her intent clear to the other three, "let's see it's now...June...I'd say...we could still be talking about it, say by February..."

"May," Meredith laughed.

"January," Cristina said, "Mama Shep, by January," and she laughed.

"Kathleen," Carolyn asked.

"It all depends on the kind of recollection," Kathleen said, "November...and June..."

"You can't pick two dates..." Lexie laughed, "even if I have no idea if I'll remember tomorrow at all."

"Oh," Meredith said, "you will, don't worry...we'll remind you."

None of them were truly drunk, least of all Lexie, "I'd bet you're all wrong..."

"Would you now," Cristina said.

"Cristina, I can't believe you're going along with the bet," and shocked the hell out of all of them, "it would never work."

"What wouldn't?"

"You and Mark..." she said

"Me and Mark..." Cristina exclaimed.

"Yes, they're thinking since he sent the bottle of champagne to us, it's just his way of buttering you up, but he's with Tracy and he really likes her, and you and Mark would never work."

"Really, why do you say that?" Cristina's interest piqued.

"He's a man whore...surely...you wouldn't put up with that," Lexie said.

"You may be on to something...but, maybe I'll take on a challenge."

"Oh, I'd bet on that..." Lexie said, "won't ever happen."

"Grey," Cristina said, "you're on," and winked at Carolyn, "January it is."

They talked for about another hour, all of them in one way or another stories involving Carolyn Shepherd's children and their adopted friends and before the girls called it a night and went to their room, the promise that in the very near future both Lexie and Cristina would visit Carolyn back east.

When the three of them were alone again, Carolyn, who had been sitting on a comfortable chair, got up and sat on the couch and with Meredith and Kathleen on either side of her, reached for their hands, the two women joined by a common thread, Carolyn Shepherd.

"Meredith," she spoke, "Kathleen you two have made this a very special, sentimental and emotional day and I want you both to know how very proud I am of you, how you've handled a very sad and painful situation with such strength...truly alone...when you should have had a mother's comfort to help you...just to hold you if you needed that...but...and I'm glad...so glad, God somehow brought you together...just when Meredith needed it most...and that it helped you too sweetheart, Kathleen...I'm so glad...after all these years it helped you to share your loss with her as well...and now," she fought the tears in her eyes, "I can share your sadness...and be there for you both, always...whenever you need me...and you need to promise me...you won't ever keep things from me," and without a single word exchanged, it was understood, the promise had been made.

"I love you Mom," Kathleen said hugging her mother, "so very very much."

"I have got to warn your sisters, Seattle makes for some very sentimental emotional travels, I guess Nancy was the exception," she joked, "but Meredith, mark my words, next time you meet...she'll be your staunchest supporter...she's that loyal."

"I'm not so sure about that," Meredith laughed, "but...as long as she doesn't hate me, I think I can live with that."

"She doesn't hate you," Carolyn assured her, "she loves her brother, and seeing that you've made him happy, that's all she wants for him."

"Carolyn," Meredith said, after a day filled with so many emotions, she needed to share what was in her heart, and that in itself was an amazing feeling. "I know...earlier...I called you Mom, and sometimes...it's so easy...but other times, I think of my Mom and that holds me back, but...you make me feel that it's ok...that I'm worthy of using that name...but I'm not quite ready."

"You are very worthy," Carolyn said, "and I will be honored...the day you feel you can. Whenever you're ready...I will be so very proud," she said, and Kathleen understood Meredith's vulnerability, the woman she begun to think of as a sister a few days after they met, even before she knew they would soon share a heartbreaking bond.

Carolyn had been right, her children did not mind sharing their Mom, and now she smiled at her, encouraging her to act on the mother's instincts longing to comfort, and Carolyn embraced Meredith, and the soft sigh touched Kathleen's heart, and once again in her husband's mother's arms, Meredith felt the loving embrace that spoke of a mother's unconditional love, and briefly the child in her wondered, Mommy...did you ever...ever love me like this?

"Thank you," Meredith whispered.

"Love needs no thanks Meredith...it's given freely...from the heart," Carolyn said.

Deep emotions guiding the voice of her heart, Meredith said, "Kathleen already knows this...she got to discover a little of the sentimental side I never knew I had...when she was here, but she knows...I'd given up...given up on the idea that prayers meant anything...my Mom, she didn't believe in anything," she paused, and continued, repeating some of what she'd said to Kathleen months before, "after my Dad left, when I was five...I would pray...pray for a family...I have a photo you know, of my Mom and Dad, and me...by my nightstand...I always just wanted a family...and my prayers were never answered, and after a while...I gave up...but now...I have prayed again, and Derek forgave me...and then...even though," she paused and wiped the tears away, "our little girl's gone...the dream...in some ways, gave me a little of my Mom back and I told Kathleen, I thought He'd really answered those childhood prayers...by having my friends and bringing Lexie and her to my life...but now," she paused again, and through her tears smiled at Carolyn, "now...I know He has...because He brought you to my life...after all this years...He's given me a Mom...a Mom...that wants to love me."

"A Mom," Carolyn said, "that does love you," and Meredith hugged her, and simply held her tight, and sent a silent prayer, remaining in her embrace.

"Carolyn," Meredith pulled back from her embrace and smiled at both women, "you better stop making me cry and get all mushy and sentimental."

"I better stop doing that," Carolyn laughed, "after you two have put me through the proverbial emotional wringer today."

"Well," Meredith smiled, "I don't want to get to the top of the list...like Jenna."

Laughter filled the room where months before so many wounds had began to heal, and now as only a mother's unconditional love can do, the sadness felt earlier for two children lost was replaced with nurturing and comfort. For Kathleen it healed the pain of secrets kept hidden, of finally sharing the love for her first child with her mother; for Meredith it offered hope that her future children would know the love of a grandmother, that one day...long before they were born, both their parents would call Mom.