Haikyuu One-Shots

Run Away (Toru Oikawa X Wizzy)

Oikawa: Wizzy-senpai's mind is in a bad place at the minute. Much stress over adult responsibilities. When her mind gets like this, I always have to keep her sane. Funny how far we've come from the days when she hated me, isn't it?

Sometimes, I think that I'd like to just run away. Go far, far away from here and never come back again.

There are so many things that I just want to forget... so many things I want to shove into a dark corner and never have to face them again.

People are always saying that you can be or do anything... but really, that's just a lie. What they really mean is that you can do anything as long as it is productive to society...

And what of the people who simply don't even know what they want to be? What they want to do? Do we just sit there and do nothing? Of course not. No one will let us.

Maybe I just want to be a little hermit and stay far away from any other living person... but no one would ever allow it. Living without having to interact with people isn't allowed... I can't just lock myself away. I wish the world would disappear.

You don't actually mean that, Wizzy-senpai.

It's almost comical that your voice is the one I hear when my mind starts spiraling like this. You're the face of a lot of things that stir up memories that I'd rather forget. And yet, you're the one that grounds me when I need it the most. Hell, you're not even real, Oikawa.

Who's to say that anything is real though? Maybe I'm just crazy... but if I'm aware of it, then does that mean that I'm not actually crazy? Life makes no sense sometimes.

You know you're not crazy. You're just in one of your moods and you're stressed. It's okay... it'll get better.

It'll get better... Everyone always says that. People say a lot of things. There are also things they don't say. Said and unsaid isn't the same as good and bad or truth and untruth.

I don't need anyone to say that I'm a loser, that I'm nothing... I know it well enough already. What would it do to say it anyway? It won't change a thing.

I'm still the same loser I've been for years. Maybe for a minute, I was able to forget it, but it never made it any less true.

I have the same old job... still painfully boring. Don't get paid much either... but I get by for the most part. No vacation or sick days... but in summer I definitely work a lot less.

Really, I should leave and find a different job, but honestly, I know I never could. I can barely handle the job I have... anything else would be too much. And so I'm stuck.

It's not like I'd be missed though. If I just vanished without a trace, would anyone care? Would anyone even notice? I doubt they would. It's not like I'm anyone important. Maybe I should just disappear.

You can't think like that. You know that you're stronger than this. You're just spiraling again.

Maybe I am just in one of those moods. I know how I get. Everything goes wrong all at once and things start to look hopeless... I can't help that my mind goes to dark places in such times.

I know that letting myself get like this doesn't help anything.

So don't let it happen. You're stronger than that.

Things have been worse than they are now... Things can always be worse...

As much as I want to run away from it all, I know that I can't. Or rather, I won't. That's just how I am.