Haikyuu One-Shots

Used To Be (Keiji Akaashi)

Wizzy: Finally got this done! Took forever... probably because it's kinda sad. And also because it's based on something that happened to me. (Which is why most of it is in Akaashi's POV.)  

"Yukie!" I called out to my friend the moment I saw her. With the two of us going to different schools and her being the manager for her school's volleyball club, we didn't get to hang out very often. Today just happened to be one of those moments when had a chance.

"Hey!" She waved back to me before motioning for me to come over. "You're early."

Today we'd planned to check out this new little cafe that I'd discovered about a month ago. "We got out early today, so I figured I'd come and wait for you."

As I waited for her practice to be over with, I found myself getting lost in my thoughts. Which that turned out to be a terrible idea considering all the balls flying around.

"Watch out!" The voice of an owl-haired guy shouted over at me, making me snap out of my daydreaming just in time to throw my arms up to block the volleyball from colliding with my face. Owl-hair quickly apologized as one of his approached him, chiding him for being so reckless.

"Bokuto, you need to be more careful."

"No way..." The guy who'd just scolded Bokuto looked really familiar. He looked so much like an old friend of mine that I just had to find out. "Akaashi!"

(Akaashi's POV)

Hearing my voice being called, I responded on instinct. Standing there was a face that I had never expected to see. She flashed me that same smile that she'd always used to. "So it was you. Long time no see."

"Yeah..." Seeing her there brought to the surface feelings that I'd thought I'd buried long ago. Those feelings weren't good ones either.

"Huh? You know the pretty girl, Akaashi?" Bokuto stared at her. He was right in calling her pretty though; she'd certainly gotten more attractive since the last time I'd seen her. "She's not your sister or something, is she?"

"Bokuto, if she were my sister, would she call me by my last name?" The ace and my best friend's expression immediately changed his I-didn't-even-think-of-that face. Sadly, that is one of his least annoying expressions and it's still quite annoying. But he's my best friend and he (unfortunately) knows me better than most people. "Besides, you know that I don't have a sister."

That was some of the other third years chimed in, questioning my connections to, as they called her, the pretty girl. "Then how do you know her?"

"We used to be friends when we were kids," she said, not even giving me the opportunity to answer the question that had been directed at me. Slowly her eyes turned to meet mine, making old feelings stir within me. "I haven't seen you in years though."

"Could we talk a minute?" The sudden surge of emotion was almost overpowering, but I managed to keep it suppressed. I was all too aware of the staring eyes that were waiting to see what would happen next. "Alone?"

Grabbing her by the wrist, I ignored the way my heart was pounding painfully inside my chest as I dragged her out of the gym. I didn't stop until I was sure that we were far enough that the rest of the volleyball club couldn't hear us without us seeing them first.

I released my grip on her, turning to meet her gaze. She was the first to speak. "It's been a really long time..."

"A little over three years now," I nodded. A moment like this wasn't going to come again, so there was something I absolutely had to get off my chest. If I didn't do it now, I'd never have any closure. Of course, saying such a thing as what I needed to say was never easy and I backed out of saying it at the last second. "You've changed a lot."

"So have you." She flashed a sweet smile, that same old smile that she always used to have whenever we'd worked on our homework together. But even if that was the same, she wasn't the same as back then. "You're a lot quieter than you used to be."

I knew that I'd changed a lot over the last three years, but I never expected that she'd be able to notice it so easily. In fact, I didn't expect her to even remember me at all. "I am?"

"Maybe quieter isn't the right word... more like... emotionless... distant... you know?" Her voice was calm and gentle... so different from that always happy and cheerful girl that I remembered. I guess a lot changes in three years, doesn't it?

There was no doubt in my mind that I had to tell her. "When you left, I-" But no matter how much I knew I needed to, something in my head just kept telling me to shut up and let it be. "Nevermind."

Unfortunately, she picked up on my hesitation almost too quickly. "Akaashi?"

"You left without even saying goodbye," I said, forcing the words out. If I stayed quiet now, I knew that I'd regret it. If I wanted to get over this and move on with my life, then I had to say something now before the chance was lost forever. "It really hurt me."

"I..." She started to speak, but I knew if I didn't get this out now, it would never be said.

"You left me there and I just kept waiting..." My hands clenched into fists as I remembered that feeling... the feeling of having your heart torn apart when you finally realize that you've been abandoned. "Every day, I'd wait for you to come through the door and whenever you didn't show, I'd feel my heart sink in my chest. But I just kept telling myself that you were probably just sick and that you'd be back tomorrow. Then tomorrow would come and you wouldn't be there. You never would come back."

My fierce eyes met hers. "Akaashi..." Her voice shook and tears pricked the corners of her eyes. "I'm so sorry!" She threw her arms around me, sobbing and apologizing over and over for something that had long since been done.

Three years ago, she transferred to another school. We'd been incredibly close, close enough that people had often asked if we were dating, yet she never told me that she would be leaving. So I was left there waiting like a dog for her to come back. Every single day I watched and waited, my heart breaking a little every time she didn't show. It was about two months after she'd left that I learned from someone else that she'd transferred...

"Damn it..." I cursed myself and my own feelings. My arms wrapped around her, hugging her tightly. "Why can't I hate you? I should hate you for the rest of my life and never forgive you... It'd be so much easier."

"Akaashi?"

She had called my name, but I wasn't really listening. How could I do anything with my emotions going crazy like this? Until now I'd kept it all bottled up, but here it all was, free once more. "Why do I have to feel like I did about you back then?"

"Aka-" I didn't let her finish. They always say that actions speak louder than words, so what's the best way to show someone the way you feel about them?

With an arm around her waist and a hand on the back of her neck to tilt her face up towards mine, I crashed my lips into hers. It's extremely sudden and out of character for me, but right now I don't care. All I know is that this is something I need to do... something that must be done in order for me to move on.

I put everything into this kiss. Every drop of emotion, passion, heartache, anger, everything I'd kept bottled up inside of me was released into this one kiss. And when I finally let her go and backed away, she stared at me wide-eyed and panting. "Wha...?"

After saying what I had to say and doing what I had to do, I suddenly felt freer than I ever had before. There was nothing more to be done here. "Because I loved you." My words were blunt, much closer to my normal personality than the rest of this occurrence had been. And with that, I turned and walked away, my heart relieved of the burden it's carried for the past three years and now it was ready to finally heal.