35 - Sunflower and Rose

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Faye

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Faye

I don't know exactly what to feel right now.

I have a mixture of unnamed feelings inside my body. Especially in my mind and my heart.

A genuine happiness consumed me earlier but by the time I entered my room, the alien feelings took over my senses. I am alone again and supposedly, I should found comfort in it but no. I am bothered. I cannot breathe properly. 

I am just sitting on the edge of the bed, allowing my feet to touch the floor. My mind is wandering around what to do or to think next. The rush of emotions is too much that I cannot act properly according to it.

I let out a huge sigh.

My mind is blank and I found my comfort just by sitting casually on this bed. I already took a quick shower and dried my hair too. All I need to do is to jump on my bed and let sleep take me to dreamland.

However, sleeping at this point is like a mortal sin for me. It's forbidden. It feels wrong.

My glances switched on the main door. As an instinct, I stared at it because I thought I heard something. Am I hearing things now? Maybe.

There is a staring game between me and the door but I think, I'm just hearing things. Then, my instincts didn't fail me again because I heard another soft knock on the door.

I knew it.

I'm right.

The door is unlocked and at this kind of hour, way past midnight, I am only expecting one person who has the guts to bug me at this unholy time.

Michael.

My Tarzan.

My heart beats rapidly like the feeling of in a situation where my terror teacher is conducting a recitation about a lesson that I didn't read nor study. Coffee is not affecting my nervousness and palpitations but this time, it seemed like, a gallon of caffeine is rumbling my nerves.

It is too much but it is not harmful.

It is comforting yet, intimidating.

No doubt, Michael is behind that door. Only him can make me feel this way. There are times that he is miles and miles away from me but he can still impose a nauseous exchange of blood in my capillaries, giving me a taste of a magical yet, unfamiliar haze. A mixture of positive and negative feelings is fighting inside of me for survival.

Only him.

Only him can give me that swirling hurricane.

Just him.

Strange, yes, to name one of the feeling.

Just like what I said, the door is unlocked so I am wondering, why Michael is knocking on that freaking door and not just barge his way inside this room like he always do?

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