107 - Beautiful Dream

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Michael

I spent every second wisely to gather all the strength that I needed to face her. There was so much emotional baggage and I can't explain anymore how we reached this point. One second we were happy but the next, we stopped from talking. I was the one who cut our friendship but I didn't mean to actually stop talking to each other.

That was my fault too. 

She took her time to accept the situation but I gave her too much space that I didn't call her. Not even once. Nothing was bad in saying hello over the phone but still, I let it slip and we reached this certain point that I didn't have any idea what was happening to her anymore.

Before, she can tell me everything. We were so comfortable at each other that we can say anything that we wanted to say. Any nonsense thing that was clouding our heads, we both knew about it. It was like we were thinking as one and deciding as one but now, everything just burst and it felt like we didn't know each other anymore...

I was just a stranger.

I took Jesse's words seriously. Of course, I will really take it seriously. I didn't have enough sleep because I spent my time meditating about my life choices. I made a mistake and I can't turn back the time to change my past decisions but, maybe, I can do something now.

Jesse asked me to talk to her that was why, I found myself in front of her door. I was here not just because Jesse asked me but also because, I wanted to apologize to her. 

For giving her a bad time. For hurting her. For leaving her. For causing any pain to her. 

I was one of the people whom she relied on but I just let go of her and now, she was hitting a dark place and she didn't bother to tell it to me.

Then I remembered, I quit on being her Tarzan...

I inhaled all the oxygen that I needed before knocking on her door. I didn't know if she will talk to me but Jesse said that I need to give a fight and not let her win.

My knuckles started to hurt because I kept on knocking. She was not answering. I knew that she was inside this damn house of hers but she was just refusing to open the door. I still have a key but it was inappropriate to use it.

I was also aware that she already knew that it was me who was knocking on her door and she was just punishing me. Or ignoring me. But this was not the time to back down so I remained patient.

After spending 20 good minutes of standing and knocking, she finally acknowledged my presence. She opened the door and it revealed her presence that I didn't know that I was dying to see. She was still the beautiful and lovely woman I know...

Jesse was right. She was using her charms and smiles to fool me but I knew better. I knew her very well and despite her calming presence, I knew that she was hiding a bleeding wound inside her heart.

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