110 - Light a Candle

170 5 8
                                    

Faye

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Faye

The feeling, it was like my soul literally came back to my earth body. I felt that my whole body shivered and jolted, mimicking an act of resuscitating. A sharp inhale caused my system to become aware of my surroundings. My throat was dry and I sensed the tiredness immediately.

"Love?"

I heard the voice of an angel so I fluttered my eyes right away. His blue orbs saved me from panic and anxiety. I closed my eyes again because of my minor headache but I chose to ignore it so I can focus my gaze on the white ambiance of the hospital. Just by the smell of it, I knew that I was in the hospital.

Fifteen hours, they said. I was asleep for 15 hours that was why those nurses kept on checking my situation. I lost a lot of blood and I was so pale when we arrived in the emergency room. My blood pressure dropped that I almost came to a shock.

They honestly thought that they were going to lose me.  They had no idea what was happening to the point that Mamu and Jesse just received a call from Gia that she brought me to the hospital and my situation was not well.

I had this positive mindset that everything was fine because I can feel my blood rushing through my veins and arteries. I felt energized. It was like I was a brand new person. 

What put worries in me was that, I was now okay but these people around me became quiet that it deafened me. I knew, I scared them because of what had happened but I want to see their genuine smiles and cheers. 

I returned. And I was okay...

But that was all I thought. I was not okay...

My doctor visited me for a check-up and explained to me personally what really happened. It didn't occur to me that they said that I lost a lot of blood but how and why? I was not involved in an accident or something which will cause me to lose my blood.

"I'm sorry. We tried everything. I'm sorry for your loss."

That was what I heard and that confused me even more. What loss? I was sure they tried to do anything to save my life but who owned the life that we lost?

I saw my loved ones stared on the floor. I was not feeling anything in me but confusion. My heartbeats were normal as well as my breathings. I just had no idea what was really happening.

"You had a miscarriage."

The doctor explained a lot of things but that was the only sentence which remained in my mind. That was why there were lots of bleeding and stuff. That was why I saw Gia's frightened reaction before I fainted. 

There was a lot of bleeding.

I lost my baby.

I looked at Jesse and he gave me a faint but comforting smile. He even squeezed my hand that was intertwined with his while we were talking to the doctor. He looked calm but I was still confused.

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