113 - Moment of Weakness

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Faye

The following days went well. The weather gave me a positive vibe even though it was just a lie. At least, the sunny weather was portraying some hope and light even my life was so dark.

I was still taking the dark tunnel and the light from the other side was still nowhere to be found.

Or maybe, I was just refusing to walk, causing me not to reach the end of the tunnel. I found my comfort spot and I didn't want to move anymore. I was at peace in here even if it was dark.

I promised to myself that I would going take care of myself and take it easy when it comes to work. I can't help it now but to bury myself again. I made sure that my stomach was well-fed even I was stressing myself out.

To be honest, I was not really stressing out. I just wanted to stay in the office for more extra hours because in here, I can do something and let my mind be occupied with things that really matter. At home, I would just going pity myself.

Charlotte also invited me to spend some night off. I accepted the invitation even I was not taking any alcohol in my system right now. I refused because, I kind of blaming it for what had happened to me and to my baby.

The place was not really the all-out party kind of pub. Tonight was just a casual night for us and it didn't require any good fashioned clothes so I didn't change anymore. Besides, I was not planning to stay late. I was just here to talk and watch them to drown themselves with a tolerable amount of alcohol.

They offered me a drink but I was firm with my decision that I would going stop for a while. It was not really strict it was just that, I didn't feel like it. Not tonight, I guessed. Maybe next time.

I didn't  have any idea what was happening outside of this place. My phone was dead because I forgot to charge it when I was still at work. It was just swimming inside my bag together with all the essential things that can be found inside a woman's bag.

I didn't have any worries about my phone anyway. For sure, everyone was so busy having their own lives. Besides, it was already late so no one will try to bother me.

It was close to midnight when I decided to leave the noisy place. The music jam was actually good but I was not really in the mood to have some fun. 

I lost my baby, damn it. I did not have the rights to be happy. Not now.

When I opened my door, I was actually expecting a very dark room because I turned everything off before I left for work. Now, a few dim lights were open which was enough for me to see where I would walk. The TV was on too but the sound was like a whisper. A random cartoon was playing.

I did not panic because if there was a bad guy inside this house, it will not look like this. I will also have my instincts but this was not it. This was safe. I knew that it was safe.

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