words from a broken soul

"TW" Deathwish "TW"

It's human nature to fear the unknown but
The greatest unknown is something else
We can't study it the way that'll bring comfort
We study the dead learn how they died yet
We know nothing of the after every culture
Has there own view on the afterlife yet
I never really feared death not like most do
Growing up I was constantly wishing for
The hell I lived in to end even if I died in the
Process as long as it was over I wouldn't care
Even now I don't fear death do I chase it no
But we're born live then die it's a vicious cycle
It's human nature to fear the unknown yet
The greatest unknown is something else

The sins of the father goes to the son
I think that's the correct quote yet its
Something I don't want to admit to myself
Got enough issues with the blood that
Keeps me alive shit feels like a bitter curse
Half dead blood I taste every time I peel my skin
Kids are a group project through and through
Yet sometimes it's nothing good for me
It sure as hell wasn't got a rapist for a dad
Grew up being fed lies that my child psyche
Knew no better than to question if they're true or not
I'm aware of death yet if it was a way to
Escape hell is it really selfish to be your
Own cause of death just to not feel the pain
All the rage and hatred the sick twisted love
It's human nature to fear the unknown yet
The greatest unknown is something else

I've experienced my own death when it
Just got to much my mind with in the mind
Was driven to the point of fracture all of it
Nothing a child should ever deal with the
Stress that can turn people to alcohol yet
My mind chose to grant me my deathwish yet
Even then the scars would forever mark my
Ashen soul The memories can't be forgotten
The past shapes the future yet memories
They can be altered or destroyed I have
So little recollection of my childhood
The photos I feel no relation to the lad
Yet I know it's me just doesn't feel like it
I'm always envious of the lad He sought
Death even if it was within the mind he did
What he pleaded for he found and ending
In his place he left a hollow shelled copy
Of himself enough knowledge to survive
Yet to much wits in wanting to observe
It's human nature to fear the unknown yet
The greatest unknown is something else

This hollow copy a shell of someone he doesn't
Recognize as himself when gazing in a mirror
All he can see is the pain he was forced through
His eyes once full of life seem to be as cold as ice
Yet these eyes are the color of a clouded sky
His face is foreign to him from years of
Hiding his battles behind a cheap mask
To not be seen as vulnerable in fear of
Being exploited like he was in the past
His depression became a source to act
Play the part of a normal child yet he was
Never normal an abnormality if you will
Not afraid of death yet not chasing it either
Just content being a ghost to most feeling
Like a corpse on strings just wander and wander
Get through each day all the same one
Can't recognize insanity if its all they've
Ever knew of life yet you can try to balance
Walk that thin line in your mind walk it
Till you can't anymore and you snap
Get pulled of the mental cliff you stand on
Drown is the sea of thoughts and the misery
Fight to breach the surface to scale the cliff
To regain your sanity but can you handle
The aftermath from the cliff snapping under you
It's human nature to fear the unknown yet
The greatest unknown is something else

This one tries to nurture the fires with in
Yet he knows not of how to nurture them
Ironic for he plays with fire got so used
To burning himself lightly they don't hurt
When it happens yet he still struggles to
Keep the fires going he's a survivor fighting
To not Feel cold trying to find some warmth
Yet he'll always feel cold for he casted out
The emotions no he kills them he needed
To so he could be numb without harming himself
Yet unable to see the irony of getting rid of
Those emotions and how being numb damages oneself
It's human nature to fear the unknown yet
The greatest unknown is something else

He tries to be numb because it got him through hell
Yet he can't escape the hell it's one with him
The very blood needed for his body to function
Is from that hell he lived through he wished
For death when he got that wish he was
Unaware the terms it came with for he lives
A life unsure of what to do with it just rots
And rots and rots and rots truly he is a corpse
But the strings have a will of themselves
They'll not be content till the ones who turned
This corpses half dead blood into a curse
Have breathed their final breath for then
He can rest and be content the tormentors
Have perished they can't physically hurt him
Yet the wounds will ever be deep in him
Never will they be truly mended just better
Fixed no longer stitched with piano wire
For he needs not to remember the past and it's pain
He just wants to live yet unaware of how
He hasn't any dreams or goals just words
Born from being a misfit to misery and the
Pain that is born through the misery of
Everything in the world nay everything in the universe