One Shots 'The nursery nurse'

Night of Doubts

It was late at night when Autumn woke up from a nightmare. Her heart was racing, the blanket was wet with sweat, and her breathing was irregular and rapid. She stared into the darkness of the bedroom as if she sensed a threat.

It was not the nightmare itself that frightened her so much, but the memory of what she had seen in the dream - her parents, a memory from her childhood, broken and painful. She saw her mother disappear without a word, the door slamming shut behind her. And she heard the loud, angry footsteps of her father, who had drank too much again.

"Autumn?" A voice penetrated the darkness. Winter had woken up next to her. She hadn't even noticed him. She was so absorbed in her thoughts. He put his hand on her arm and pulled her gently towards him. "You're all clammy... What's wrong?"

She blinked as if she needed to recognise reality again, and then she began to cry. It was rare for Autumn to be so overcome with emotion. But right now, it just burst out of her. Quietly, almost inaudibly, she cried into Winter's chest." I read my diary," she stammered, wiping her tears. "There was so much I'd blocked out, but it's all back now."

Winter hugged her and stroked her back as she continued to speak, the words trembling. "I had a nightmare. I was back with my parents, I was the little girl sitting in a cold, empty house..."

"Shh, you don't have to think about it anymore," Winter murmured, kissing her gently on the forehead. "You're here now. You're with me."

Even though Winter reassured her with his presence, there was still something on Autumn's mind, something she hadn't dared to say out loud yet. "What if I become like her?" Her voice was a desperate whisper. "What if I become like my mother, who just left? What if I... what if I abandon our child, too?"

Winter pulled her even closer. "You're not like her, my love. You're so much stronger. You have so much love in you. You would never just leave us."

"I'm scared," Autumn admitted quietly. "What if I start drinking like my father? I've been on the verge of addiction before... What if I slip into alcohol... when we have the baby?"

"Stop thinking that," Winter said gently but firmly. "I know you, and I know you wouldn't do that. You're so much more than that. You won't do this, not out of fear, and not because of what you experienced back then."

"But I have all these bad things inside me. I'm the daughter of two broken people... Blood runs thicker than water...", a phrase Roger had always used against her to make her realise again and again that deep down, she was just like him.

"Autumn." Winter said softly and lifted her chin so that she had to look him in the eye. "I love you. And I'll always be there for you, no matter what. You're not like your parents. You are you. And you will do everything in your power to do the best for us and our child. Always remember, we're a team." He gave her a gentle kiss on the lips.

Autumn closed her eyes and let the words wash over her, breathing in deeply. Maybe it was the safety of his voice. Maybe it was the comfort of his touch, but for a moment, she could imagine that she really was something other than the image from her childhood. Something other than the shadow of her parents.

"But what if the fears still remain?"

"Then we'll fight it together," he replied. "You are not alone, and you will never be alone."

The silence in the room was warm and reassuring. Autumn closed her eyes and felt the waves of fear slowly subside. Winter was with her, and that was enough. Her story wasn't over yet, and maybe the baby growing inside her would help her make a new beginning.

"Thank you," she whispered, almost asleep, as she slipped back into a deep sleep, safe in the knowledge that she was not the past but the future.

The clock showed almost two o'clock in the morning as Mia picked up the photo again. It was a faded, yellowed picture from days long gone. It showed her, Autumn and Reece, laughing, arm in arm, as children. The little park behind their houses, the trees that were still young back then and in which they had played hide and seek - all that had long since disappeared, just like their friendship.