One Shots 'The nursery nurse'

Little Talk

TW:Mention of SH

____________________________________

It was afternoon when Vivian visited the Doyles with Jamie and Siobhan. And while Sorscha was playing with Vivian and the kids in the living room. Clodagh was in the kitchen cooking dinner. It was quite a while before another person entered the room, and to Clodagh's surprise, it was Siobhan. The blonde asked for a cup of tea.

After Clodagh had handed her a cup, she went back to preparing the food. Without paying much more attention to Siobhan. She had nothing against the blonde. But the two of them didn't have much in common, and Clodagh knew that it wasn't always easy with her.

The smell of frying onions lingered in the air. Clodagh stood at the counter chopping vegetables while Siobhan sat at the kitchen island holding a cup of tea. After a while, Sorscha came into the room to see what was going on.

She went to her wife, wrapped her arms around Clodagh's waist and looked over her shoulder. "Babe, do you want me to help you with something?"

"Oh no, it's all right... you go back to Vivian and keep the children in check," Clodagh said with a smile, putting her hand on her wife's arm and giving her a kiss.

Sorscha nodded. "Good... but if you need help." -"Then I will call you, Darling," Clodagh replied quickly.

The Irish woman smiled and left the kitchen again. Clodagh had felt Siobhan's gaze, and even now she felt the blonde's grey eyes on the back of her neck.

"So, Quinn is growing really fast," Clodagh began, giving Siobhan a quick glance as she placed the vegetables in a bowl. "I can hardly believe how quickly time is passing. It feels like she was just born yesterday."

Siobhan took a sip of her tea and looked at her cup with a slightly absent expression. "Yeah, kids grow up fast... Like Vivian's son. He's such a little whirlwind too. Four years old and keeps us all on our toes."

Clodagh nodded, but it was a peculiarity about Siobhan that she noticed - a mixture of absence and defence. Siobhan wasn't particularly talkative and quick to become defensive, and Clodagh knew she had to be careful. "Sorscha and I... we had a really hard time when Quinn came into the world," Clodagh continued, her voice soft. "It's not easy being a parent from one moment to the next. Especially when you feel like no one really helps you or understands what you're going through."

Siobhan sighed and put her cup down on the table, as if the comment set her off in some way. "I suppose that's always the case. But what do you expect when you have children. You just do what you have to."

"Yes, of course," Clodagh replied, now grabbing a garlic for the soup. "But you know, when Quinn came, I suddenly felt like I had to rethink everything in my life. Especially my family. I mean, my parents weren't supportive when Sorscha and I got together. It was... hard." She paused before continuing. "I couldn't understand why they acted the way they did. I thought they would eventually accept that I was with a woman. But that wasn't the case... For our own safety and peace of mind, we ended up breaking off contact. Such hateful thinking... I'll never understand it."

Siobhan was not easily flustered. Her demeanour was still cool, almost impassive. "Must have been really hard. But that's life. You don't always get what you want. Your parents probably had their reasons."

"That may be," Clodagh said, undaunted. She put the knives aside and turned to the woman at the table. "But you know, at some point I realised that the worst enemy isn't always just the others, but also ourselves. Our own fears, our own doubts that stand in our way." She placed a hand on the worktop and looked at Siobhan. "I struggled with internalised homophobia for a long time. I couldn't really accept myself, and that blocked me in my relationship with Sorscha. I kept asking myself if I was doing something wrong. I thought maybe all the prejudices of my family and society were...right.."