5SOS Preferences and Requests (Part 2)

Mental Illness Reminder

Hi Floppy Dishtowels.

I just wanted to remind you that your mental illnesses are valid. You don't choose to have them. You don't want them. Yet, it's your burden to bear. And it's a heavy burden. I really hope I can make that burden a little lighter for some of you. I know it hurts to suffer and be stuck in something you can't quite explain and won't make sense to anyone else.

Please don't let anyone tell you that your illness isn't real or that it's something you can easily get rid of. That's a toxic situation and I don't want you to go through that. It doesn't help.

I want you to know that you're perfect as you are. No matter what the illness. You are not worthless and you are not defined by your illness. You are human. It's Ok to not be Ok.

I wanted to write this because recently I've been dealing with someone toxic in my life. You guys all know him. Anthony.

He told me that my depression and anxiety aren't real and that I just need to suck it up and "pull my head out of my ass." He ignored me for 3 weeks before telling me this. He was someone I thought I could trust and tell everything to. It didn't pan out that way.

It hurt so badly and I was having very negative thoughts and believing I wasn't good enough. He made me feel like it's my fault. I let him do that to me. I let him use me. He would only talk to me if it was convenient for him. Not if I needed him. A friendship has to be two ways. It wasn't like that.

If you know someone like this, please don't let them take advantage of you. You are worth so much more than that. Mama Dishtowel doesn't want to see you get hurt. I love you all too damn much.

Now no one has to say mean things about him. I'm just simply saying that he won't be in my life much longer and it will be better for both of us.

I went through the memories in my head and realized that I was the one keeping the relationship alive. I bought him birthday and Christmas presents. Even just random presents. I took him to concerts. I asked him to hang out. I spent my energy on someone that wouldn't give back. Not a word of encouragement. No asking if I was Ok. Nothing.

I think I deserve better than that. I'm hoping to find someone that will be there for me when I need a shoulder to cry on. And I would do the same for them. (A.k.a Luke Hemmings. I'll always be there for you babe.)

Surround yourself with positive people that listen to you and care about you. There will always be toxic people. But there will also be rays of sunshine as well. (A.k.a Michael, Calum, Ashton, and Luke.)

Also, I'm kind of a ray of sunshine. Take advantage of my glowy complexion. I love you all so much. Thank you for everything. You're amazing.

Tomorrow Sounds Good Feels Good comes out! For those of you that already have it, I'm happy for you. And I'm a bit salty about it. But oh well!

Also tomorrow is my one year anniversary of not cutting. I will be a year clean. I haven't self harmed since October 23rd, 2014. SGFG is a good present for that accomplishment :)

Tonight! Keep your eyes peeled for a special Luke filled chapter called "The Girl Who Cried Wolf"! I hope you guys enjoy it. I love you.

-Kenzie xx

My heart. I'm sunshine. Thanks Kenzie. -Ashton

Oh yeah? I'm the biggest sunshine that ever sunshined. -Luke

You're a special sunshine Luke. -Calum

*giggles* I'm not a sunshine. -Michael

Yes you are Mikey. A very bright and happy sunshine. -Kenzie

Dawww. *blushes* -Michael

The hell happened to moody Michael? -Calum

He disappeared. -Ashton

It's cause Kenzie complimented him. -Michael

I also really like your smile. It makes me smile. -Kenzie

*grins like an idiot* -Michael

It's disgusting. -Luke

You're disgusting. -Ashton

Your mum's disgusting. -Calum

How dare you? You ignoramus. -Luke

Ooh. Big words. -Ashton

You look extremely hugable. I want to hug you for two years. -Kenzie

Awwh! *opens arms* -Michael

This band isn't worth the torment from you! -Luke

It was just a joke. -Calum

Yeah. Calm down Luke. -Ashton

DO NOT TELL ME TO CALM DOWN! -Luke

Do you work out? -Kenzie

I mean, a little bit. *flexes cute muscles* -Michael

Mate...breathe. -Ashton

*screams and runs about, flailing arms* -Luke

Way to go Ashton. -Calum

Your guitar skills are pretty amazing. -Kenzie

*blushes* Thank you. -Michael

*flails past Kenzie and Michael* -Luke

You suck. -Ashton

Your face sucks. -Calum

Your mum sucks. -Ashton

*gasp* -Calum

*screams again wearing only boxers* -Luke

So Australia. Is it cool? -Kenzie