5SOS Preferences and Requests (Part 2)

12 Stupid Jokes

This is the beginning of my 12 Days of Christmas special!!! Welcome to the countdown! Hope you guys love it! :)

Ashton:  He finished putting the star on top of the tree and looked down at you. "Is it straight?" He asked, still on the small stepladder. You stood a few feet back and concentrated on the sparkly gold star. "It looks pretty good to me!" You admitted and munched on a gingerbread man. He smirked and climbed down the stepladder and took a bite of your cookie. "What does a gingerbread man put on his bed?" He questioned, chewing. "Oh god. What?" You were scared to find out. "A cookie sheet." He answered, a grin spreading on his face. You giggled and nudged him lightly, making him chuckle and kiss your cheek. "That was bad Ash. Really bad." He laughed and pulled you close by the waist. "You love me and you know it." He whispered. The house was almost completely decorated for the holiday you absolutely loved. The tree was up, the lights were strung, and the ornaments were hanging beautifully. It was starting to feel like the Christmas season. Ashton had helped you with everything from baking to Christmas shopping for the boys. "Wait wait wait! I got a better one! Ok why was Santa's little helper so depressed?" He started and looked at you with excitement. "Oh god. Why?" You asked. He held in a laugh and cleared his throat. "Because he had low  elf  esteem!" You blinked and patted his shoulder before leaving to shove your head in the freezer.

Luke:  "What do you call a polar bear wearing ear muffs?" Luke asked randomly from behind a box of Christmas lights. "Uh...I give up." You said while you sprinkled your cookies with sugar. "Anything you want! He can't hear you!" He joked with a giggle. You rolled your eyes and shoved a finished cookie in his mouth. "Keep decorating moron." You muttered and he choked on the small cookie. Every few minutes he'd come by and tell you another awful joke or pun while he was carrying boxes of decorations. Each one made you laugh, and each one made you question your relationship. He strolled by wearing a Santa hat and some pretty impressive boxer shorts and a smirk on his face. "What's red and green and guides Santa's sleigh?" You raised an eyebrow and crossed your arms. "I dunno Luke. What?" He started giggling before he even told the end of the joke. "Rudolf the Red Nosed Pickle." You stared at him and thought of your own sick joke. "Alright chuckles, what's black and white and red all over?" You asked, knowing he'd never guess it. "Uh...." He was confused. "A penguin in a blender." You answered and he went dead silent. "That's not funny. That's not funny at all."

Calum:  You scrolled through a bunch of Christmas jokes and found the perfect one that would make Calum giggle while he was sick. "Hey Cal? Why doesn't Santa have children?" You asked and looked over at your poor sick boyfriend. He coughed and sniffed at you. "Why doesn't he have children?" You smiled and knew he'd crack up for sure. "Because he only comes once a year, and when he does, it's down the chimney." Calum coughed and wheezed in response which equalled laughter in his current state. "Like that one?" You giggled. He nodded and sniffed. "Why did the snowman have a smile on his face?" You started again, feeling his forehead for the temperature. He didn't answer but you knew he was listening. "Because the snowblower was coming down the block." The coughing and wheezing began again and you felt bad about it, but he was enjoying it. "I'm sorry you don't feel good babe. I hope I can make you laugh." You said, placing a kiss to his cheek. He smiled weakly and touched your hand with his. "Y/N I always feel better when you're around. Thank you." You nodded and watched as he fell asleep with the biggest smile on his face.

Michael:  "Y/N. Y/N. Hey! I have to tell you something funny!" He yelled from the kitchen. You groaned and stood up slowly, making your way towards your boyfriend. "If it's more jokes about the Cliffconda, I will make sure the Cliffconda is no more." You threatened and he stared at you with fear in his eyes. "It's something else....but good to know." He cleared his throat and grinned at you. "What happened when Santa's cat swallowed a ball of yarn?" You shrugged and waited for the deadly punchline. "She had mittens." Ok you had to admit, that one was pretty good. You giggled and started back towards your hot cocoa and cookies. "Wait! I'm not done!" He pouted and pulled you back. You sighed and looked back up at him. "Ok. What else?" He placed his hands on your hips and brought his lips close to yours. "Why is Santa so jolly?" He whispered and you almost busted up laughing. "Why?" He smirked and pecked your lips lightly. "Coz he knows where all the naughty girls live." You scoffed and looked up at him. "Really? That's the best you can do?" He raised his eyebrows and grinned. "Got anything better?" He questioned and you were ready for your closeup. "Why are Christmas trees better than men?" You asked and he narrowed his eyes. "This isn't going to end well is it?" You shook your head and smiled brightly. "Even the small ones give satisfaction." He burst out laughing and covered his face with his hands. "Touché my love! Touché!"

(Hehe hehe  I  love  bad  puns  and  jokes  xD  They're  great!  And  it's not  over  yet!  There's  three  more  left  ;)

Hah  these  are  great!!!  I'm  so  using  these.  -Ashton

Hey  Kenzie!!!  Will  you  merry  me?  :D  -Luke

Hahahaha.  Mistleno.    -Kenzie

I  see  what  you  did  there.  -Calum

Luke.  All  I  want  for  Christmas  is  youuuuuu....  to  get  hit  by  a  reindeer.  -Michael

I  want  the  last  one!  Ahem.  Why  did  the  turkey  get  asked  to  join  the  band?  -Ashton

Why?  -Luke

Because  he  had  the  drumsticks.  -Ashton

*OLD  MAN  KNEE  SLAP*  -Calum

*laughs  like  a  donkey*  -Luke

No.  -Michael

(I  think  I  counted  wrong.  But  you  get  the  gist  of  it.  I'm  a  writer.  Not  a  mathematician.)

12  Days  Until  Christmas!