5SOS Preferences and Requests (Part 2)

He's A Cactus

Once again this family never disappoints me with their sense of humor. So thank you Masquerade_Parade for requesting this very odd preference xD

Ashton: It's been a few months since Ashton Irwin disappeared. His band has been looking for him for the longest time and he hasn't shown up. Little did you know, that you would run into a sharper image of Ash. Tucson, Arizona is where you were spending time in the winter. (Even though it's been getting snow) The desert climate was quite nice during this time of year. Perfect time to wear shorts and a t-shirt. And of course the cactus grew almost everywhere. The prickly bastards. You were walking around your hotel with your headphones in, listening to the 5SOS you knew. Poor Ash. You found a nice little trail and decided to find out where it led to. Cactus lined the path and you were careful not to get too close to any of them. Pretty soon, you got a feeling that someone was following you. You spun around and no one was there. Hmm. Strange. Behind your back, one of the catcus sprang to life and waddled closer. You picked up the speed in your walking and didn't look back until you heard a loud thud through your headphones. You turned around slowly and found a giant cactus lying in the middle of the path. You blinked and stared at it for a moment before you heard muffled talking. "Halp meh." You picked up a rock and chucked it at the cactus and it cussed. A CACTUS FUCKING CUSSED. "What the hell?!" You yelled and the cactus moved. It moved so it was facing the other way. "Please help me!" It said in a familiar accent. Definitely not an American accent. More like....Australian. "Once again....what the hell?!" You grabbed a stick and poked it. "Hey! I'm a person. I have feelings ya know." He argued and shook. "How are you a person?! You're a plant that wants to kill me!" You squeaked and the cactus chuckled. "I was turned into a cactus when I was here with my band a few months ago." What? It couldn't be possible. "Ashton?" You questioned and the cactus clapped. Oi. You had to be on something. "You know who I am! Brilliant! Help me up." He mumbled. "No. You're prickly." He was silent for a few seconds. "Good point." (OH MY GOD I AM HILARIOUS)

Luke: "Hi. I'm Luke. Um. I'm supposed to tell you why I'm a cactus. Uh. I really don't know why I'm a cactus. It just happened. Like POOF! CACTUS! Went from cuddly noodle to pokey green thing. Michael came up with a nickname for me. I'm not entirely fond of it. I have a feeling he was behind this whole thing. So maybe that's why I'm a cactus. Kenzie found me and wasn't fazed at all. She just ate her Coco Puffs and laughed. If I could've, I would've slapped her with my pointy arms. But I can't move. She put a bow on my head. She named me Cactniss Evergreen. And now Michael's laughing. Calum wet himself. It's all funny when someone who's not you turns into a cactus. Bunch of pricks." (Oh gosh she did it again)

Calum: Because you guys like my poetry, I've decided to write a Haiku about cactus life. Kenzie get ready to write this down coz I can't use my hands. I used them last night thinking of you lovely readers ;)

The author slapped Mr. Hood.

Ow. Ok. Hah! You have needles in your hand!!!! I win!

She may have whacked him with a baseball bat.

Ok back to the Haiku. I'm done.

Cactus life is hard.

Points and prickles everywhere.

This was my Haiku.

Here's another one just for you guys ;)

My cactus is hard.

Poke and prod you everywhere.

Turning you on yet?

Mr. Hood is silenced for the rest of the chapter.

Michael: Being in love with a cactus was one if the hardest things in the world. You could never truly be with him. It hurt so much that you couldn't hug him or kiss him. But you still loved him with all your heart. He was different from other cacti. First off he could talk. Most cacti can't talk. Unless you find the four idiots that are cacti. Then you'll find an annoying talking cactus. He also made you laugh and smile with his jokes and puns. He was a pretty sharp guy. On point. But still,you waited for the day to come when you could hold him in your arms and feel the love. But that day never came. He was always a cactus. The end.

(It is nearly impossible to write them as cacti xD what the hell? I love you Masquerade_Parade! Hope you liked it!

Not my best, but still fun! You guys have the weirdest imaginations. And that's coming from me. ❤ I love you!!!)

Why are we always being turned into the weirdest things? My body can't handle it!!! -Ashton

Cactniss Evergreen. I get it now. -Luke

Oh by the way, the nickname I gave Luke was Cactus Penis. I thought it worked perfectly. -Michael

And the abuse continues. -Luke

Kenzie seriously silenced Calum....I'm scared. -Ashton

You should be. -Kenzie

MUM!!!! -Luke

*holds on to Michael* -Ashton

Psh. I'm not scared. -Michael

*lights Calum on fire* -Kenzie

Ok now I'm a little worried. -Michael