5SOS Preferences and Requests (Part 2)

Hotel Fire Alarm (Calum) (A.K.A The Duck Chapter)

Omfg  so  I  had  the  most  clever  and  hilarious  dream  ever!  So  in  my  house  I  have  this  little  picture  that  says  "Home  Rules"  and  it  has  rules  like,  'If  you  open  it,  close  it.',  'If  you  drop  it,  pick  it  up.'  You  get  the  point.  Well  there's  one  that  says  'If  you  eat  out  of  it,  put  it  in  the  sink.'  In  my  dream  Calum...you  know.... And  then  set  me  in  the  sink  and  I  asked  what  he  was  doing  and  he  replied  with,  "I'm  just  following  the  rules!"  I  WOKE  UP  CACKLING!

"Go go go!" You yelled and giggled as you held on to Calum. He ran down the hall with you on his back, laughing every time you giggled. He turned the corner and almost took out a poor little old lady with a yapping little fluffball. "Sorry!" He cried and you stifled a laugh. Around the next corner, a staff member yelled at him to slow down and Calum sped up. Coming up behind you was Luke holding Ashton, trying to win the race. "Ash! You're choking me!" Luke coughed. "Go faster and maybe I wouldn't feel the need to choke you!" Ashton responded loudly. Calum chuckled and kept his grip on your thighs as you had your arms around his neck. You heard a loud thump and you looked behind you and Luke and Ashton were tangled together on the floor. It was a massive pile of arms and legs. "You dumbass! You're not supposed to fall!" Ashton yelled, spitting out hair. "If you weren't such a jerk, maybe I wouldn't feel the need to fall!" Luke yelled back and you snorted. Dorks. Calum ran around the last corner and spun you around. "We won!" He laughed and you held on. Michael clapped slowly and looked very disinterested. "Yay. You won. Great. Where's the beer?" He asked and left you and Calum to your celebrating. You kissed his cheek and he set you down. "Good running Beckham." You smirked and he grinned at you. "Thanks babe! It wasn't hard. Especially against those two idiots." He said jerking his thumb back towards Lashton. You giggled as you heard the constant arguing between the oldest and youngest members of the band. "Shall we go celebrate my love?" He whispered and you smiled. "What did you have in mind?" He smirked and pulled you by your waist. "It doesn't involve clothes."

You stood in front of him and raised an eyebrow. "Really?" He nodded and held onto the ducky inner tube. "C'mon it'll be fun!" He said, his naked lower half covered by the duck. You groaned and took off your clothes and grabbed the frog inner tube. Calum smirked and nudged you. "I'd like to duck  you." You snorted and pushed him in the pool. "That's for your bad puns!" You yelled and he spit out pool water. "So I've been  toad."

He splashed you and quacked like a duck and you threw a pool noodle at his face. He caught it. "Hah!" He laughed and you hit him smack in the face with a squishy water ball. "HAH!" Before he could throw anything back, the fire alarm sounded and his eyes widened. Smoke started spilling in from the door to the lobby. "We have to get out of here." He said seriously and tugged you by the frog around your waist, pulling you to the edge of the pool. He lifted you up and set you out of the water on the tile. "Take this." He said, handing you the frog tube. You raised an eyebrow. "We don't have time to get dressed Y/N. We have to get out of here." You nodded and watched as he lifted himself out of the pool and grabbed the duck. "Go!" He yelled and pulled you to the door that led to the parking lot. The smoke started filling the room and you coughed before Calum pushed the door open. You both ran out, holding on to your inner tubes, and got away from the burning building. The other guests ran out and didn't pay much attention to the two of you. Which is completely bizarre considering you were both naked and covering yourselves up with animal inner tubes. Not even a minute later, you heard snickering. "I see Calum's butt  quack."  Calum groaned and slowly turned around, the duck hanging around his hips. Ashton was bent over laughing, Luke wasn't even facing you and shaking with laughter, and Michael was shaking his head. "Oh my god! When we said use protection, we meant condoms not pond animals!" Ashton breathed out between bursts. Luke giggled and turned around. "It's funny coz the inner tubes are the same shape as condoms." He added and Ashton whacked him upside the head. "That's what I was implying you ficus tree!" Calum rolled his eyes and hit both of them over the head with the duck. "Both of you shut the hell up! There's a simple explanation!" Michael smirked and crossed his arms. "That's toadally  riduckulous."  He joked and Luke lost it. Calum glared at his bandmates and you let out a small giggle. He looked at you with his eyebrows raised and you burst out laughing. "I'm sorry! It just quacks  me up!" You inserted and Michael high-fived you. "Not you too!" Calum whined. "Sorry I'm a bit under the  feather."  You added and Luke literally fell to the ground laughing. "Seriously? The hotel is on fire and you're making duck puns?" Calum asked. You all stopped your laughing and blinked at him. "This, coming from the pun master?" Ashton questioned with a dramatic expression. "I'm just saying. It's an emergency and you guys keep  quacking  jokes." Calum said with a smirk spreading across his face. A throat cleared and you all turned around to see the manager of the hotel. "Uh...hello ma'am." Calum said, a blush appearing on his cheeks. She looked at the inner tubes and wasn't amused. "I was going to ask that you return those, but I can see you need them." She said. "Um I don't gave any money on me right now." Calum answered, still blushing bright red. The manager started to smile and crossed her arms. "That's Ok. I'll just put it on your  bill."

(Too  many  duck  puns.  I'm  sorry.

You  know  what?  I  wish  I  could  do  a  meet  and  greet.  I  want  to  meet  as  many  of  you  as  I  can!  I'd  bring  donuts  but  we'd  all  be  afraid  that  they  were  real  people!  How  cool  would  that  be?  I'd  be  able  to  meet  the  weird  readers!  I'm  even  thinking  about  designing  t-shirts  for  the  series  and  The  Dark  Angel  and  selling  them  ;)  Not  sure  how  many  people  would  actually  buy  them  xD  If  you  have  any ideas  let  me  know!)

Duck  puns  are  great  they  make  me  smile  when  I'm  down....get  it?  Down  feathers?  -Ashton

Down  feathers  aren't  from  ducks  you  kangaroo.  -Luke

If  you  weren't  so  annoying,  maybe  I  wouldn't  feel  the  need  to  be  a  kangaroo! -Ashton

I'm  going  to  ignore  them.  Damn  Kenzie!  What  kind  of  dreams  are  you  having?  ;)  -Calum

Shush  Calum.  Don't  judge  me.  *drinks  gallon  of  holy  water*  -Kenzie

Heheheh  butt  quack.  That  one's  still  funny.  -Michael

Shut  up  Ashton!  -Luke

You  shut  up! -Ashton

ALL  OF  YOU  SHUT  UP!  -Kenzie

Wow  Kenz.  You're  mean.  -Ashton

If  you  weren't  such  floppy  dishtowels,  maybe  I  wouldn't  feel  the  need  to  be  mean!  -Kenzie

Oooooh  she  wins.  -Michael