**This made my heart break**
Ashton: Chapter one we started happy. The second that you said you loved me. Started questioning us. Are we really in love?
It wasn’t like you wanted to panic, or you wanted to doubt what you had. How could you? You had one of the best relationships you had ever experienced, and it was all thanks to Ashton Irwin. You had started out so happy, doing the usual dating thing. He was always a gentleman, always finding a way to make you laugh, smile, and all through that he had managed to capture your heart. It was hard for both of you balancing young love with fame, but no matter what, Ashton always found time to spend it with you, and made sure you felt loved. After a few months of dating, he had told you that he thought he was in love with you. You were shocked to say the least. Sure you felt really strongly towards him, but love, well that was a huge step. You were skeptical to say it back but staring into his eyes, you somehow found yourself saying that you loved him back. But now, here you were, curled up on your bed in your own flat crying and sobbing with panic because did you really love Ashton? You thought that, if you were questioning this, it shouldn’t be right. You should feel like this is natural, and that was the thing. It did feel natural, were you just panicking, out of fright and fear of the unknown? You were always skeptical of new relationships, and this was anything but normal. Ashton was surrounded by fame, and that was something that you were frightened of, your private life no longer private. Another round of shaking overtook your body as you thought of telling Ashton that this was over. You didn’t want to leave him, but really, was this right? You heard a knock on the front door faintly, and your heart halted in your chest. You didn’t get up to answer it, and you heard a jingle of keys, knowing it was Ashton. You wanted to scream with frustration, now was certainly not the time for him to see you like this, especially if you were in this situation. “Hello?” You heard his voice pierce the silence of your flat. You sat in bed, holding the duvet as if it would shield you from confrontation as his footsteps echoed off of the walls. “(Y/N)?” You heard him say, as you wiped a few tears that had fallen from your cheeks. You saw his shadow on the walls as he began to walk in the direction of your bedroom. “There you are,” He said smiling, as soon as he stuck his head around the corner. You cracked a small smile, his face faltering as he took in your appearance. You probably looked awful right now, your hair thrown up into a bun, wearing an oversized gym shirt, and no makeup. Surely your face was red and splotchy, the bags under your eyes surely showing that you lacked sleep the night before. “Are you alright? Whats wrong?” He said coming over to you, and sitting on the edge of the bed as fresh tears welled in your eyes. Before you knew what was happening, your began to sob, hiding your face in the comforter. You were so confused, and it made you feel awful that Ashton saw this, and that you felt this way. “Baby,” He said scooting so he could wrap an arm around you. You shook your head, trying to muffle your cries. “Ash, I’m sorry.” You said wiping your eyes. “Whats bothering you?” He said staring at you with sorry eyes. “Oh God. I feel awful Ash. I - I don’t know if this is going to work.” You said biting your lip. It would have been better if you slapped him across the face than see his reaction. “What do you mean?” He said, his voice slow. “Ash, no its not you. I - I’m scared about this whole thing. Fame is just something thats so strange, and so big. Privacy isn’t an option. I’ve lived my life where people never turned their heads when I walked down the street, and suddenly wherever I go, and when I’m with you there are screaming girls around us. Its so mind blowing. When I’m with you it feels so natural, but I’m scared. God, I sound ridiculous.” You said sniffling as a few more tears slipped down your cheeks. He studied your face for what seemed like an eternity, before sighing. “Its a lot to throw on you. I get that. But, I really like you, if we’re moving to fast we can slow down. We can take things one time at a time. As for fame, I can try my hardest to make it calmer, but really thats something we’re both going to have to deal with. The band is growing, Hell, we’re playing venues we could never fathom. If your not okay with any of that, than I’d rather let you go than force you into something you’re uncomfortable wit.” He said biting his lip. “God, that really hurts to say that. Letting you go.” He muttered under his breath. You studied his face, his expression, the hurt in his eyes. You sighed, putting your head in your hand. It was silent, only except your breathing and his. “Is this it than? We’re done?” He asked, his voice trembling a bit. He cleared his throat, before awkwardly staring at his hands, before moving it off of your leg. “I’ll let myself out.” He said, standing up and looking at you one more time. “Ash wait.” You said looking up at him. He turned around, hopeful, staring at you and you could see the longing in his face. You sighed before biting your lip, your heart hammering. “I’m sorry.” You said, your voice soft. He just nodded his head as his footsteps echoed down the hall, before you heard a muffled sob. You got out of bed, just to see him supporting himself on the couch, his fist against his mouth. “You’re really letting me go? There’s no way to make this work?” He said softly, knowing you were there. “Ash, I’m not in the right frame of mind for this right now.” You said feeling tears streak your face. He nodded his head, before looking at you. “I’ll be waiting when you are ready.” You could feel your heart lurch at his words, knowing he’d wait. “Really?” You said softly. He nodded his head. “You’ve got my heart girl, take care of it.” He said before walking out of the flat, leaving you gasping for breath as you sunk to the floor, more tears making their ways down your cheeks, and into your open palms.
