Revitalized | Rui Kamishiro x F!Reader

A Painful Day

A painful day, that's what it was. Starting with Rui not walking you to school, to having to stare at him during math. His eyes were beautiful, staring down at his test with the illumination from outside the window, accentuating some of that amber sparkle. A true window to the soul. His soul was just as gorgeous.

But he seemed like he was ignoring you. Granted, you never actually made a move to talk to him. You slipped him no notes, didn't tap on his desk at all, so maybe it was just in your imagination. At least, you had thought so until he was silent at lunch too. Nene sat next to him, as always, but she seemed a bit closer, as if to comfort him. You started to get concerned. Maybe this wasn't about you, if he needed his closest friend's reassurance.

So, you sat yourself and your lunch right down next to him, leaning to look at his face.

"Are you okay?" You asked softly. He turned to you, only to immediately turn away, as if the sight of you hurt his eyes.

"No, I'm fine."

"You don't... seem fine. Am I reading too far into it? You've been going to bed at a decent time, right?"

"No I ha..." but before he could lie to your face, he paused, lowering his fork. "Can we talk? Somewhere... away?"

"Uh- y-yeah! Of course!" You dropped your lunch next to you and followed Rui away from the others. Far enough they wouldn't be able to hear you.

"So... what's up?"

"I... I don't know if I can handle what we've come to," he hesitantly spoke, sorrowful and opting to look at the ground instead of your eyes.

You took a deep breath before you gave him a reassuring smile. "I don't either. If... if you wanna go back to being as close as we were, I'd be okay with that. You can still stop by my place whenever, y'know? And-"

"N-no, I mean..." He suddenly interrupted, then looked at the ground with guilt. "The closeness is the problem. You're still really close to me, even after you clearly didn't want to be so close to me..."

"Wait... that's not..."

"I just... don't think we should be so close. I'm sorry if that hurts you, but... it's for the best, y'know?"

"But... I don't mind being so close to you after that! Genuinely, I wouldn't mind if we went right back to-"

"Y/n, it..." He snapped, eyes clenched closed. When they reopened, they were just as somber and avoiding. "...it makes me uncomfortable."

It took you a minute. "O-oh... okay... then..."

"I appreciate that you feel safe around me and want to be close to me. I didn't get that a lot when I was younger. But... I just don't think it should continue if we want to move forward. O-okay?"

"Yeah... okay..."

And as he walked away, it settled in.

 

Rui didn't feel comfortable around you.

So, having finished your conversation, you followed Rui back to where you had been sitting, but you didn't sit back down. You grabbed what was left of your meal and made for the door off the rooftop.

Tsukasa, who happened to be rambling to Emu about tomorrow night's festivities, paused mid-sentence to call out to you.

"Y/n-san? Where are you going?"

You had to swallow down the knot in your throat before you turned to look at him over your shoulder. "O-oh, I just... remembered I have some work to do for a class. Sorry. S-see you guys!" You smiled and waved before quickly retreating to go eat in the courtyard.

You lied. You were actually a bit ahead in all of your classes. You really didn't have anything to do. Well, except...

As soon as you were sat, your shaking hands grabbing your utensils again, you couldn't continue holding back any longer. You immediately dropped everything back into your container and pressed your hands over your eyes, immediately feeling moisture cover the skin. You cried. What else was there to do? You'd lost your appetite.

And, good God, was that a fake smile you gave your friends and Rui earlier. There wasn't much that could be said about the difference between your real smile and 'show smile'. They were almost identical even to you. Even to Yuuki. It was like two identical bottles sitting next to each other, one made of the finest glass and one of recycled plastic. The only difference was simple. No matter how hard you tried, one would always be made of plastic. You hated your smile.

You held your hands over your face, sobbing away in self pity, until you felt a hand tap on your shoulder, shocking you to silence as you flinched. There stood a boy with duo-toned hair, and what you were going to assume was his friend behind him, whose eyes widened upon seeing you.

"Oh, sorry... Did I scare you?" The boy that had tapped on your shoulder asked. You quickly started wiping your eyes. It was shameful to have two strangers see you like this.

"N-no, it's okay! S-sorry, let me just..."

He waited patiently, sitting next to you as you wiped your face off. You turned to him bashfully, knowing you were far from your best right now.

"Do you need to talk it out?" He asked softly. You sniffed softly, shaking your head.

"No, no, it's fine. Just... having a bad day."

He hummed softly. "We all have those, it's alright. Are you sure you don't wanna talk it out?"

"Y-yeah. Thank you, though." You sniffed again, wiping a stray tear.

"O-oh, I'm Toya, by the way. And that's Akito."

"Yo."

"Ah, I-I'm Y/n."

"Y/n... L/n?" Akito suddenly spoke up, an eyebrow raised. You nodded with a huff.

"Yeah, yeah, that's me."

"I figured I recognized you."

Just then, the bell inside the school rang, prompting all three of you to look towards the door.

"Well, would you like me to walk you to your next class?"

"I-if you don't mind, I guess the company would be nice..."