Revitalized | Rui Kamishiro x F!Reader

Unexpected Output

A quick warning, theres some self-deprecation in this, specifically near the end. If you're sensitive to that, please refrain from reading this chapter. I'll leave enough context in the next one that you won't be confused. Stay safe lovelies <3

  

"Huh- wha...?" You breathed out, dumbfounded, eyes wide, and jaw hanging open. His face was red, steadily growing redder, and he gave you a warm smile. One of adoration and everything of the like that he'd ever looked at you with.

"I-I love you," he laughed at his own flustered struggle, hiding his face in the front of your shoulder. He hoped you'd run your hands down his back or through his hair to soothe him a little, but you were frozen.

"You're... joking, right?"

"Of course not. I love you. So, so much. It... makes my legs weak sometimes," he admitted with some more nervous laughter.

It felt hard to breathe. Everything was blurry, your eyes refusing to focus. You suddenly felt a burning on your neck - his lips kissing a few times. In a panic, you pushed him away and froze, like a rabbit cornered by a fox.

"Y/n? I'm sorry, I didn't know, I just..."

He saw the near horrified look in your eyes and realized his mistake. So it wasn't time after all. Too early. This wasn't going well at all.

"Y/n. Y/n, calm down," he breathed, looking at you in concern. You looked away, pulling your knees up to your chest.

"You... really?"

He was going to say yes again, assure you he did and hope that maybe you were freaking out because you thought it was a prank, but that didn't sound right. You looked like you were going to have a breakdown. He'd messed up.

"Are you... sure? Really sure?"

Oddly, he couldn't tell if you were calming down or not. You were trembling, and your eyes looked watery, but your voice was soft.

He didn't know what to say. He just wanted to see you smile. A good old 'April Fool's!' wouldn't fit. It wouldn't make you laugh. What was he supposed to say?

"Rui, I don't think you're really... in love with me."

"Why do you think that?"

"Well..."

You could see him move closer out of the corner of your eye, arms reaching out to hug you. You held your hand out to stop him.

"D-don't, please."

"...okay."

"I can't... God, I feel terrible."

"You don't have to return my feelin-"

"No, that's not why. I just..." You sighed, closing your eyes tightly. "I've just been using you this whole time, and I..."

"You haven't been-"

"I have. I just... I wanted some attention after everything with Isago, and I didn't expect to... dammit." You held your face in your hands, feeling the familiar knot of sadness in your throat as you tried to hold back tears.

"You didn't manipulate me, if that's what you're getting at."

"But I did... I've just been using you..."

"No you haven't," he murmured softly. "I'm sorry. Maybe I shouldn't have said it."

"I'm sorry," you sighed quietly.

Sensing there was nothing more he could say, Rui fell silent. He messed up, he knew it, but somehow he wasn't sad. Not happy, of course... but he couldn't really feel anything. It hadn't sank in yet. That he'd basically been rejected, that is. That he'd made you feel terrible. And hey, maybe you had, in some way, swayed his opinion of you. He'd never know. He was no psychologist.

He didn't know what would happen if he stayed. He didn't want to make you feel worse, though, so he stood up.

"I should probably go."

You were quiet with resent. "Sure. Have a good night, Rui."

"You too, Y/n. I'll see you."

You could hear every footstep he took to your door, and the sound of it opening, and the sound of it closing behind him. He was gone, just like everyone else, you realized. Just like Kisane, Kazuni, Hina, Gumi... the distance basically rendered Yuuki gone... and Isago was long gone, probably thinking of another way to make life harder for you, wherever he was.

Quiet tears were dripping from your eyelashes when a song came to mind. You remembered feeling similar to this around a year ago. Before Super Nova broke up, when you first started to realize things were going downhill.

You turned on your phone, searching through your songs until you found it. Your only solo song. It was never supposed to be public anyway. Dammit Isago.

At the sound of the music, its outwardness and power, you recalled this was supposed to be your vengeance on the world. This song was supposed to be angry, frustrated. You couldn't help it where your heart had gone during the writing, keeping that same power throughout every verse until you'd crumble at the chorus.

Sometimes, friends were just like bubbles. They come and go. You see them more often in certain situations than others. They fly away easily. But most of all, they're fragile. They break way too easily. One poke and they're gone. Seems you'd poked Rui a little too hard.

With this thought in mind, you laid down. In enough time of listening to your song, however, you were sobbing.

You used to cry like this about how cruel the world was. How often it took from you. You had everything that didn't matter to you. A nice home, financial stability, everything of the like. Why did this world always take away what was most important to you? The things that did matter.

But you'd finally realized, it wasn't that the world took it all from you, it was that you repelled it. You'd grab something and hold it tight, never letting go, until it found you so unbearable it chewed it's own arm off to get away. Why did you always ruin everything?