CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED FORTY THREE
11.04
Yang Jeongin,
Hi.
I want to see you for the very last chance before you fully gone in my head. But I can't. Dahil baka magbago na naman ang desisyon ko kapag nakita ulit kita. Lalo na kapag dumapo na naman ang magandang tingin mo sa akin... Ayokong mawalan ng kawala sa iyo.
You gave me everything and so much more... you are my season, my awaited happiest days.
I wanna plead you to take me back to spring and let's meet again, my love, Iyen, hmm please? Dahil gusto ko na lang mamuhay sa kinasanayan kong nakaraan natin... kung kailan inamin kong parte ka na rin ng buhay ko, at kung saan kita unang binigyan ng makahulugang tingin. I am praying to go back until I whisper your name, so we could start anew. And I'd wish the world to spin slowly, so I could spend more memories with you.
But, here we are... I have to do this... I have to forget you.
You were my days. You are for always, hon. Ayokong isantabi ang mga pinaggagawa natin noon dahil gusto kong alalahanin ang lahat-lahat bago ka mabura sa akin. I can't let it all go... those are my only escape. You are my only escape.
Hanggang doon na lang muna tayo, okay?
Balang araw magigising ako na hindi na ikaw ang una kong hahanapin. Maybe I'll miss you and I would still remember a little piece of you after the treatment, but not like the way back then. Darating rin ang araw na hindi na kita mamahalin.
Pangako yan, Jeongin.
I won't say goodbye. I will never say goodbye. Kung sakaling magtagpo ulit ang landas nating dalawa, magpakilala ka naman ng maayos. Yung tipong wala nang paglimot na mamagitan sa atin.
Hmm, I'll keep on holding the possibilities that I am always open just for you... like when I hear our favorite songs... when your signature scent fills my nose... when your footsteps are near me... when I see our owned, magical places... when you paint me confusions and certainties.
Surely, I will still see you... in my ruined head and in our realities...
Thank you.
And I love you, since then and until today.
P.S. I suck at making kind words. Pero alam mo naman kung gaano ka-importante sa akin, diba? Hehe, yon lang, Jeongin.
With all my heart,
Me.
