scomark oneshots

misperception (meau)

tw unhealthy dieting, anorexia...take care of yourselves my loves!! i am on a weight loss journey myself (photo above...1st in march, 2nd last week) and it feels good to be healthy about it!!

•

Mitch is cuddled up to Beau, resting his head on his lap, and he's never felt more content than he is now. They've been dating for about 2 months, and Mitch knows that Beau is something special.

They haven't gone past kissing, but Mitch has taken it upon himself that when they start getting sexual, he's gonna make sure that Beau likes what he sees. He's been cutting down his calories like crazy.

"Still awake down there, honey?" Beau asks. Mitch responds with a small "Mhm," and Beau starts playing with Mitch's hair.

"So cute," Beau mumbles, and Mitch giggles. He's probably just saying that to make him feel good.

•

Mitch is nervous. Why did he say yes to going to the pool with Beau? His body isn't ready yet. Maybe he should fake sick. No, Beau would want to come over and take care of him. If he shows Beau his body now he will up and leave him, he knows it.

There's a knock at the door. Mitch throws his tee shirt on and goes to answer it.

"Hey, Mitchy," Beau smiles. "Are you ready?"

Mitch nods shakily. "Y-yeah. Let's go."

Beau looks at Mitch. "You sound a little hesitant there, babe. Are you sure? Did you forget anything?"

"No," Mitch says, "I'm fine. Really."

"Okay," Beau says, "Let's go."

It's a few minutes drive to the pool, and when they get out of the car, Mitch feels like he's going to pass out, due to nerves, the heat, and the lack of nutrients in his body. Luckily they're the only two there, so nobody else can judge him.

"Baby?" Beau looks at Mitch, concerned, "Are you okay?"

"Y-yeah," Mitch breathes, "I'm okay."

"Let's get you in the pool, it'll cool you off." Beau takes off his shirt. Mitch has never seen Beau shirtless before now, and he looks good.

Mitch reluctantly takes his shirt off, and he regrets it as soon as he sees Beau's face.

"Y-you don't like what you see?" Mitch asks, and breathing becomes difficult again. "I knew it," he curses at himself for thinking he could get someone like Beau. "I'm sorry I'm not beautiful for you. Go ahead and—"

"Mitchy, can you breathe in and out for me?" Beau asks, "You're looking like you're about to pass out. Is that the case?"

Mitch nods shakily.

"Okay, breathe for me. In and out, in and out, sweetheart." When Mitch's breathing evens a bit, he continues. "I'm sorry for the way I reacted to your body, angel, but I'm concerned for your health. You're underweight."

Mitch shakes his head. "No, y-you're getting it wrong, Beau, I—"

"You're not supposed to be able to see your ribs like this, Mitchy," Beau interrupts, "Your hips are so boney..." Mitch looks at him and there are tears in his eyes. "Why am I only now realizing that I don't see you eat in front of me? When did you eat last? Be honest with me." He blinks and tears fall down his cheeks.

Mitch thinks. "A few days ago I had some watermelon," he says.

"A few days ago?" Beau raises his eyebrows. "Baby, you're starving yourself. Please, treat yourself right. We're leaving right now and going somewhere to get some food in you, okay?"

Mitch is confused. He's overweight, not underweight. He's just getting to the point where he can feel his bones, where he couldn't feel them as well before.

"I can hear you beating yourself up in your head," Beau says, "Honey, you'll die if you keep this up."

Mitch is shocked. He never wanted to die. He just wanted to be beautiful for Beau.

"Come here," Beau steps forward, wrapping his arms around Mitch. More tears fall down his cheeks. "I feel like I'll break you."

"I just wanted to look good for you."

Beau steps back. "For me? Oh, honey. You're beautiful. You're so so beautiful inside and out. You're just not healthy right now. Did I cause this? I never meant to. I'm sorry I did this to you. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen," He runs a hand through his hair. "Did I say anything that triggered it?"

Mitch shakes his head. "I just...I love you," Mitch admits, for the first time, "I love you a lot, and I wanted to look good for you because I thought you would leave me if I was ugly."

Beau shakes his head. "I love you too. And I would never leave you," he says, "You're so precious and kind, Mitchy. I could never leave you. Now please, could we get some food in you?"

Mitch nods. "Okay."

Beau kisses Mitch once. "I love you so much. Please take care of yourself. Please get better."

"I'll get better," Mitch says, "I'll get better for you."