Stucky One Shots

Number Thirty-Two: Self-Pitying Crap

Bucky sits silently up on the roof, his hands in his lap. He looks out on the city and sighs softly, the wind ruffling his medium length brown hair.

He felt terrible. After being the Winter Soldier, he'd never forgiven himself. So many deaths of innocent people was on his hands. He'd killed a guy in front of her daughter, for Pete's sake.

He's dragged from his thoughts when the hatch opens, he hears someone crawl up from inside and walk over to him.

"Hey," Steve greets, taking a seat beside him, dangling his legs over the edge of the building.

"Hi," Bucky replies without looking up and Steve knows something's wrong. He tilts his head a little as he observes the brunette beside him. Bucky looks down at his lap and sighs a little.

"You alright?" He asks and Bucky doesn't reply.

"You know I nearly killed you," he informs and Steve raises an eyebrow.

"Uh..." he trails off, watching him.

"It's true. I could've killed you. I almost killed Fury," he continues, lowering his head a little with each word as if to hide from them. "I shot you. I almost killed Fury. I shot Nat." He says.

"We all know that wasn't you, Buck," Steve insists and the brunette doesn't reply. "Bucky." Steve says, Bucky looks over at him.

"I'm serious. You know it wasn't you, it was HYDRA. There's the Winter Soldier, and then there's Bucky Barnes. Not the same," Steve insists.

"I could've killed you! I shot you what, four times?" Bucky bursts, balling his hands into fists.

"Two, but I'm fine, Buck," Steve sighs.

"Two times then! I've killed world leaders, innocent civilians, Tony's parents, soldiers, good men and women. I'm such a f****** mess, a screw up, Steve, why do you even try with me. It's pointless, there's no way I can be who I was!" Bucky rants until Steve grabs his shoulders.

"Listen to me. James Buchanan Barnes, you are not a mess, you are not a screw up. I try with you because I know you're back. You are not the Winter Soldier anymore. I try with you because I love you. It's only pointless if you think it is, and no, you can't be the exact same person you once were. You're you, not the Winter Soldier anymore, maybe not the Bucky Barnes you used to be. I love you all the same. Don't do this self pitying crap, alright, it's not healthy," Steve tells him and Bucky clings to his words, his eyes wide.

"But-" he begins and Steve just kisses him passionately. Bucky closes his eyes, clinging to him tightly.

"No buts, baby. I love you no matter what, okay?" Steve says gently and Bucky nods a little.

"Okay," he whispers, hugging him tightly, he nuzzles the blonde's neck. Steve sighs and runs a hand through Bucky's hair.

"C'mon, let's get you inside, okay?" He says, getting up. Bucky keeps his arms around him, starting to sniffle a little. So long he'd been hating himself and here Steve was, telling him everything was fine. He was grateful for that.

"No more thinking this crap, okay?" Steve checks and Bucky nods a little. He takes Steve's hand and walks upstairs to bed.

"G'night, Stevie. I love you," Bucky whispers, burying his face in the blonde's chest.

"G'night, baby. Love you too," Steve says softly, running a hand up and down the brunette's back. Bucky smiles slightly and closes his eyes, and he quickly falls asleep.