Sunflower. [F. W]

122. I hope you lie to me

Lee didn't dare say a word, they couldn't. It wasn't their place to do so, but they could see Bee's heart breaking every second that passed. She knew.

"Oh my god" She whispered, tears pooling in her eyes. "He cheated."

"Listen Bee, he did but he didn't at the same time. Just please, wait here, I'll make you some tea and then you can listen to him. I promise it'll make sense."

"You knew? Georgie knew too?"

"I- yes. But it wasn't Fred's fault. Something else happened."

"I have never felt more betrayed in my life, Lee. I've spent a good chunk of my life defending and protecting you three against all odds. You and Georgie are the godparents to my kids. I got detention with Umbridge, called a slut and what that implied because I'd rather hurt myself than be separated from you three. Shit my only thought jumping in front of the killing curse was how you three and Harry would finally be safe! And the second Fred cheats, you keep it from me? I can feel my heart breaking as we speak. I feel pathetic."

"He came here crying the day it happened. And then Georgie took him- us to the Pensieve. And I promise to you it's not what it looks like. Please just sit down, and wait for him."

"It's all I fucking do, isn't it?"

"Please, Bee."

"I have spent so much time telling myself that you don't hate me. Convincing the voices in my head that you three loved me, that you'd always be there for me, no matter what. And this feels like a sick joke, a really sick one."

"I'm sorry."

"I am, too."

"But if you listen to Fred-"

"I don't think I can listen to Fred, Lee. You three know how I have never felt enough for him, or anyone for that matter. All my life I've felt like I'm here to lend a helping hand to anyone but I don't deserve that helping hand. I felt like that book hidden in some corner in your room that you've read the back cover of but never gone further than reading the first chapter. Two, tops. And this just confirms all of this thoughts. And with Jessica of all people."

Silence had never been more deafening.

"He has kissed me with the same lips that kissed her. The same lips that broke our trust. And I feel dirty just to think about that. How many times?"

"What?"

"How many times has he cheated?"

"It was just once."

"Fuck. Great. Mateo said it was more than once. Now I don't even have a solid version of what happened."

"That's why you have to hear Fred's side of the story, he'd never lie to you."

"Oh please," Bee said bitterly. "If he has cheated lying is nothing to him."

And just like that, giggles came from the stairway, the ginger twins coming in through the door. Fred's stomach dropped at the sight of his wife's teary eyes. He looked at Lee in a big moment of panic.

"Sit down, the both of you."

"Yes ma'am."

Lee wasn't able to tear the gaze from the rug in the living room, it felt as if the world had gone black and white. Cheated or not, Lee now understood how much of a shitty move was keeping this secret from her. Not only because she had been a pretty great friend to them, but because she deserved more respect than that.

"I'm going to speak now, and you two will listen until I'm done. Mateo came by earlier. I thought he was going to say sorry for being an ass, turns out he had a lot to say about Fred and Jessica. I wanted it to be a lie, but clearly..." Bee's voice had started to break again, almost as if the sound was being stopped by the pieces of her shattered heart. "I'm not going to go into details about just how shitty feel, Lee will fill you in. What I want right now is a visit to the Pensieve and an explanation afterwards."

And they did just that, they went to the memory, and Fred explained himself. In silence the lot of them apparated right back to the flat, got Sirius and went home. Fred, George and Lee sat on the sofa waiting for Bee, for a reaction. The girl hadn't shown a single emotion since the first apparition. It wasn't good. But the worst was yet to come. Fred's heart shattered at the sound of Bee's trunk being dragged down the stairs, and at the sight of Sirius' little bag.

"I'm taking Sirius to Ginny's place. It's not fair that one of the two of us keeps him, and she's the guardian. It's what's best for him."

"Are you-?"

"I'm not divorcing you Fred. I know it wasn't your fault, but you three have to understand where this is coming from. You three have been my rock. Always. Harry and Remus had their shit going on, Ginny was too young and Charlie just wasn't home. You were what kept me going, I trusted you three fully. Blindly. I let you see me at my most vulnerable state. And for the first time since we've met, you've fully broken my trust. You've kept from me something that you knew was going to break me, but this was something that could've been avoided. And you didn't even intend to tell me, at all. Someone who has insulted my family had to come tell me for me to find out. And yeah, maybe I am being dramatic, maybe this is a little too much. But Fred, George, Lee you were the last people I expected to broke my heart this fucking bad. I need time to mourn this whole thing."

"How long?" Fred croaked.

"I don't know. Feel free to visit Sirius, I know I will. If my water breaks I'll let you know as soon as it happens. But for now, this is a see you soon."

"Love I'm sorry I-"

"It's not love, it's Bee."

Bee left her trunk at Grimmauld Place. As Regulus said, it was her home too, and the first thing she did was get into her dad's bed. No one had been there since she opened the box he had left her, his sheets still faintly smelled of cigars and his cologne. And then she noticed it.

In the bedside table there was a picture of the two of them, James and Remus in the Potter's backyard. James and Sirius were pulling faces, Remus had a goofy smile and she was smiling as big as her little mouth let her. It was taken just before the Potter's were killed. Her mother, James and Remus were to Sirius what Fred, George and Lee were to her. A lover, a brother and a soul sister.

"Oh dad, uncle Prongs, how I wish you were with me right now. Do I really deserve all of this? How do I move on when what has kept me going for years has slipped through my fingers and broken my heart?"

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This chapter was so hard to write. It hit a lil too close to home. I'm saying it now, they are not getting a divorce. It would be pointless at this point of the story. Also it didn't feel right having either of them take Sirius, so aunt Ginny will keep him safe.

Today's gentle reminder is that you are enough and valid. I do feel like the book that no one wants to read too, I feel like we've all been there at some point. But you are still beautiful and worthy. You shine. And you deserve to be okay, you deserve to accomplish your goals. And it's okay if you have fallen and are stuggling to get up and carry on once more. Take your time, take a deep breath, enjoy the view and then, you can carry on again. I'm happy that you've made it to today. And I'm so proud of you it hurts.

- Berts🌻