Sunflower. [F. W]

125. Her boys

Dear Bee,

I'm going to be honest: life sucks without you. I've been thinking so much and honestly? I think I'm so used to having you around that now I feel empty, a part of me is missing.

I don't think Fred has ever told you, but the day I came out to you both, when you fell asleep, Freddie and I just kinda realized that you're family, you have always been. You have protected us relentlessly. You didn't have much and still would give us the best you could. You never questioned our family's wealth, never thought of us a blood traitors when you could've done so.

I would say that you deserve the world, the stars and as many planets as you can find in the universe, but most importantly, you deserve respect, and we fucked up there. We should've told you from the start.

I know it's soon, but please. Forgive me, us. We are doing this on your terms, I understand that breaking someone's trust is like breaking a plate: you can fix it, but you can see where the pieces broke.

I love you, and I miss my best friend.

Your Georgie.

"This sucks, big time" Georgie said inspecting the bags under his eyes. "It feels like forever, I just want Bee back!"

This was the routine for Fred, George and Lee since Bee left. Fred couldn't go back to the house without breaking down so he was crashing at Glee's flat. George and Lee were a mess too, finally realizing what it means to value something you've lost.

Lee was, without a doubt, the most conflicted of the three. They warned them, Lee didn't want to keep the secret in the first place. For the first time they felt peer pressured by the twins to do something and it backfired so bad they thought Bee was lost forever. There was guilt but at the same time, there was a whole lot of anger towards everybody. Lee knew if he really wanted to, he could've told Bee and sure there would have been some drama, but not this.

"And all I can think of at night it was the night Sirius died. The cries of desperation as I held her. It's like my mind has a sick reminder of the fact that she's gone through so much and we were selfish enough to keep that kind of secret to protect our egos."

"My ego, Georgie." Fred whispered. "I should have told her right away. Guilt wouldn't be eating me alive. And fuck, I am an adult, I have to face the consequences to my acts. I feel like a child."

"You do realize she will not forgive us easily, right?" Said Lee. "Anything else she'd put it aside in order not to break the four, but not this. This is a mess that could have been prevented."

"Don't remind me, Lee."

"No! I do have to remind you Fred! We've taken her friendship as something natural, something that's always been there. We are so used at her forgiving us for really shitty stuff that we think this will be fixed soon. She is no Saint, but we are in the wrong now. We have to fix this!" Lee practically screamed. "A friendship is taken care of by both parties!"

"Why are you so mad?" Fred, now angry too, spatted.

"Why? Why? Are you dumb Fred? I didn't want to keep it in the first place! But again Lee has to do what the boys want so the boys won't throw a tantrum!"

"Fighting won't solve anything, guys..." George said, stopping the argument.

Dear Bee,

I just wanted to let you know, that I'm sorry we've taken you for granted. Your friendship has been the glue of the group for years now, denying it would be stupid. You know us well enough to take care of us the way we need it without caring what others might think.

And I think I've never felt this angered with the twins or myself, ever. I'm mot going to tell you that they made me and whatnot because I stayed silent too. But guilt is eating me alive and I'm just so sorry.

We love you. Scratch that, we ADORE you. How could we not? I just hope you find it in your heart to forgive us. At your own pace, of course. We won't stop loving you.

All my love,

Lee.

"You're right, darling. I just feel too guilty."

"We all feel guilty, Lee. But-"

Fred was interrupted by the crack of apparition behind them. They didn't need to know it was Molly, who had been taking care of them since they flat out refused to do anything else other than sulk around.

"George, Fred and Lee Weasley! This flat stinks! Have any of you showered this week?"

No one answered. Of course they hadn't showered.

"Okay, this is how we are doing this. Lee, dear you shower first. Fred, George, you clean this mess while I get started on lunch."

"But-"

"Now!"

When the three of them had showered and the house didn't smell like someone had died inside, the four of them sat down at the table, eating in silence.

"Is she okay?"

"Fred dear, she is a mess just like you guys. But you know Bee, as soon as things go South she puts up walls so no one knows she is not doing well."

"Are the twins okay?"

"They are healthing and coming anytime now. And before you ask, Sirius is well too. Misses dad, but is having a blast with Ginny and Harry. She visits him almost daily."

"Is she still wearing her wedding ring?"

"She won't take it off, she sleeps with it Freddie."

My love,

I don't know what else to tell you that Lee and Georgie haven't told you. I love you, and I miss you and the word I'm looking for is lost. I'm lost without you.

Maybe it's the way you clutch my hand at night when we sleep. Or maybe it is the way your laugh fills every room in the house when you are happy. Maybe is as simple as the way you eat your toast in the morning or the way your eyes shine when you see your favorite food. But now that I've lost all of that, a part of me is missing.

I'm disgusted at myself for doing this. For dragging Lee and George in my own mess, when I should I have resolved this like an adult. When I'm well aware you would have understood and this would be something we could talk and fix together.

I don't expect you forgiving me today, or tomorrow or next week. My love, take your time. We're going to be Bee and Freddie for a lifetime, I don't mind waiting as long as you are back in my arms someday.

Just so you know, I'm the same lovesick puppy I was at 11, 16, 18 and 20. There's no one else, never will be. Forever is ours.

Yours until the end of times,

Your Freddie.

Ps.: I love you.

Fred didn't have much time to bask in the glory and sadness to know she still slept with the ring that represented their love, because a stag patronus broke into the living room. It was Harry's.

Bee's water broke. Please come to St. Mungos, she refuses to give birth without her boys with her.

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My loves!

Bee is giving birth next chapter and we get to meet the twins! Yay! Also sorry about the weird posting time!

I wanted to post something today in honor of Bee's birthday which is today (it is also mine) to celebrate and I'm super glad I did because I loved this chapter.

I hope you are okay, and you are celebrating yourselves. Drink water and eat yummy stuff. I love you, you make me happy, and it makes me even happier knowing that you've made it to today. We're all proud of you. Thank you.

- Berts <3