Sunflower. [F. W]

124. Your side

"How are you feeling my little Sunflower? Slept well?"

It had been a couple of weeks since Bee had been living with her uncle Reggie. She had her own room there, but she decided to sleep in Sirius' room instead. She had placed a charm so that it would still smell like him. It was the only thing that brought her some sort of comfort.

"You know what? I kind of did today. But it still feels weird not having his arms around me, or seeing his cute little face when I open my eyes."

"It's only natural that you miss him. And it's okay, it really is. Don't deprive yourself of missing him. How was Sirius yesterday?"

"Harry has been playing muggle movies for him, he is a riot as always. But my little riot. He talked to the bump too, he's going to be a protective older brother, I can see it already."

"Living up to his name, then?"

"I wish they would've met, you know? He reminds me so much of him. I've been missing him more then usual. Don't get me wrong, I love you Uncle Reg, but sometimes a girl just need her father."

"I do really miss him, too. I couldn't really say goodbye and he died thinking I died for the wrong cause."

"Do you know what sucks the most? It's not the fact that I lost them both so young, it's the fact that somebody took him away from us for 12 whole years and when we were finally happy, some lunatic decided to cut that time short. He was so excited for me and Fred to experience love like he had with mum." Bee started to tear up at the memory of her father. "He was excited to be a grandpa too. I can just imagine what would have happened if him and James were still here. I'm just happy to know that they are still together and reunited."

"And I'm sure right now he is mad about this whole thing."

"Please!" Bee laughed through the tears. "Freddi- Fred would have been chased with god knows what by dad!"

"Now tell me dear, what are the plans for today? Visiting Molly again?"

"Narcissa actually. It's all in the family I guess. I fear if I go see Molly again and she repeats that the twins and Lee are a mess, I'll forgive them because it makes me sad."

Bee changed into a deep green dress, Narcissa had always been an elegant woman, and even though she wouldn't have cared if she showed in her pjs, she felt like putting on a nice dress and a pair of low heels, put some make up and try to look somewhat decent for the first time since the incident.

"Bee dear! Come on in!" Narcissa embraced her and kissed her hair. "Don't you look great!"

"Thank you so much for having me here." Bee smiled big. Narcissa (just like Molly) gave her motherly love, something she really needed.

"Now tell me, what is new with you?"

The both of them sat down in the velvet sofa, as Bee narrated the hell she had been going through because of Jessica, and of course, the secret not actually cheating from Fred.

"What happened to the Mateo guy then?"

"I've no clue. My guess is he took an unbreakable vow and he is dead now. He was an asshole, but he got manipulated into a rather nasty situation."

"So you think he is dead?"

"Oh for sure! Plus he has not tried to contact me nor anyone as far as I know and the guy was cocky, he would've said something."

Narcissa went to speak when a brown haired man entered the room, holding a box and placing it in front of her and sitting with them.

"This is the last one, Cissy."

"Thank you, dear. I don't believe you've met? This is Theo Nott, a friend of Draco's. He's here helping me clean some of Draco's stuff. Theodor, this is Bee Weasley, a dear friend of the family."

"Hey! I remember you! Pucey tried to curse an unforgivable at you at you said it tickled!"

"That was me! Man now I'm sorry I don't remember you."

"It's okay, really. I wasn't really popular back then and thank god, we hit a really weird time at school."

"Welp, we had Potter and Dumbledore kept on making him do the stuff he should've been doing."

"You know, I always thought you were the coolest one on the bunch."

"You did?"

"Never discriminated anyone for the house they were placed in, you had cool ass powers and even though you could've gone mad with the power you held, you stayed good, never formed your own army or anything."

"Wha- what do you mean?"

"I'm just saying. You are more powerful than the Dark Lord, if you wanted to do what he intended to- let me rephrase that. Out of you and Potter, the one who had more drive was you, the smarter one, if right now you said you wanted your supremacy in the Wizarding World, you would have it. You got the looks, the brain and the power to do so."

"Welp I also got sever trauma from it so."

"I'm not saying you should! Not at all. The war took a lot from me too. And not if you are pregnant! Congratulations by the way!"

"It's twins! Luna Angelina and George Draco." She smiled. "Due way too soon if I'm honest."

"Well, you now have your little army of three!"

"If they are anything like their older brother I'm going to lose it!"

That night, Bee was sorting through the box of things Narcissa had given her. Stuff that used to belong to Draco that she thought it would give Bee something to remember him by. She had put on a necklace of him with a little serpent at the end of it.

However, something in her head made her replay the words of one Theodor Nott over and over again. The war had taken a lot from her. Her parents, her best friend, Draco, ... But at the same time, she was curious. What did power feel like?

She had already tasted revenge. Voldemot, Bellatrix, Lucius, Peter... All dead. But now that she had been stripped of love, humiliated by those who swore would never do so, now that she felt lonelier than she ever had, she couldn't help but wonder what power tasted like.

The fantasy was just something she was toying with. Right? It would be too difficult. Another war was not anyone was looking forward too. How hungry can you be for power when there was so much at stake?

Was she any better than Dumbledore or Voldemort just to think what being so powerful would actually be like?

She guessed all those feelings were born out of the fact that she felt like a fool. They empowered her so much for so long, that now that she couldn't rely on that anymore, she knew she'd have to find the power within the only place she trusted and had forever: herself.

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My beautiful flowers.

First and most importantly. Thank you for all the love I've been given. I am coping, and I'm doing a lot better. I've been navigating grief alone because that's how I'm used to dealing with stuff, but if you reached out, thank you from deep deep inside my heart. I've been watching a whole lot of Criminal Minds, Mamma Mia, period dramas and Disney movies to cope. I'm finally out of bed and doing stuff again!

Now, I'd like to clarify that Bee is not going to go nuts and have a whole other war because homegirl felt like having some power. This is just her inner self facing what she feels like is betrayal. She just lost a big chunk of her support system, but she is not that selfish.

Gentle reminder today is to take things one day at a time. It's okay if all you did today was getting out of bed. You've got time and healing is a lot. It's something necessary and yet something so brave. I'm proud of you. You are doing great, keep going. I love you, and I'm beyond happy you made it to today.

- Berts <3